₦airaland Forum

Our very own Wizkid is going international o.
See here - www.thenet.ng/2015/11/r-kelly-features-wizkid-in-new-album-the-buffet-see-tracklist/

Lets play a game
Pick your date of birth, month and year and form a sentence...
January - I need

February - I killed

March - I slept with

April - I raped

May - I slapped

June - I hugged

July - I played with

August - I jumped on

September - I got drunk with

October - I spit on

November - I kissed

December - I love

Select your day
01 - Someone

02 - A donkey

03 - A monkey

04 - A baboon

05 - An elephant

06 - My cousin

07 - My boyfriend/girlfriend

08 - Cristiano Ronaldo

09 - Nicki Minaj

10 - A clown

11 - A drunkard

12 - A virgin

13 - A bobo

14 - A genius

15 - A gorrilla

16 - Chris Brown

17 - A pig

18 - A model

19 - Nobody

20 - My dog

21 - My first love

22 - My ex

23 - An old man

24 - A dinosaur

25 - Kim Kardashian

26 - A prostitute

27 - A lecturer

28 - Patience Jonathan

29 - A cat

30 - My best friend

31 - An idiot

Select your year of birth
1980 - In a bar

1981 - In a car park

1982 - In a dirty pond

1983 - In an ocean

1984 - In a police van

1985 - In a garage

1986 - In a forest

1987 - In a swimming pool

1988 - In a toilet

1989 - In a garden

1990 - In a hotel room

1991 - In a bus

1992 - In a taxi

1993 - On my bed

1994 - In the river

1995 - In our room

1996 - On the playground

1997 - Without my pants on

1998 - On a house roof

1999 - With my eyes open

2000 - But i'm lying

Lets go!

As for me, i slapped Nicki Minaj with my eyes open :-D


Dont spoil the fun, add yours.

Rule 1
Trust no one!

Rule 2
Have friends but always have a third eye to see their bullshit because they will stab you one day.

Rule 3
If everyone likes you, then you're doing something wrong or boring.

Rule 4
It's okay to fail. It's just part of being successful. Dont be afraid to fail.

Rule 5
If you're the smartest amongst your group of friends, then it's about time you left. Be with people who push you beyond your limits, encourage you and make you look dumb. That's a way to learn how to be wise.

Rule 6
Never forget rule 2.

Rule 7
Let's all try and make it to heaven!

1. Okada kills two people inside trailler

2. Funke Akindele pregnant for Cristiano Ronaldo

3. Lil Wayne features Pasuma in his new
single

4, Eyinmba will sign Messi in this January

5. Baba Suwe joins Illuminati

6. Beyonce confesses to being in love with Terry G

7. Primary school pupils now graduate at Primary two

8. Uniforms now available for University and Poly students

9. Obama claims Borno state as his hometown

10. Obasanjo becomes new Arsenal manger

11. Chris Brown shows off agbada and slippers at the Grammy awards

12. Patience Jonathan appointed as Harvard's new English professor

Add your own breaking news too... dont spoil the fun...

Repel:
Maybe only Bruno Mars can do it

and as For me I can't do it

Lolz

Him: Baby i love you

Her: Really?

Him: Yes, i'll do everything for you.

Her: Are you sure? Okay, will you catch a grenade for me?

Him: Grenade ke??! I will dodge a grenade for you.

Her: Awwn, buh you said you'd do everything for me

Him: No, baby, it's a slip of tongue, i wanted to say "almost everything".

Now, how many of you guys can catch a grenade for your girlfriends?

Lolz

FisifunKododada:

Angels: God, we are tired of the Nigerians in heaven here o.
God: What have they done this time?
Angels: Everything! They dont follow instructions, they dont obey traffic rules, they dont wait for their turn in everything, they are completely reckless. Infact they have turned this place into a living hell since they got here.
God: Then we better send them to hell! (calls Lucifer) Hello?
Lucifer: Hello God, call me back, there's an issue i'm trying to resolve here.

Five mins later...
God: Hello?
Lucifer: I'll call you back. The issue has turned into a crisis.

Ten minutes later...
Lucifer: Hello?
God: What's going on there?
Lucifer: It's the Nigerians i have here in hell. They... they... they have quenched the fire and installed air conditioners!!

lolz... i will burn the ministry of education join sef

courage7070:
i will burn the certificate,burn the school that gave me and burn the teachers that thought me [b]i will burn the certificate,burn the school that gave me and burn the teachers that thought me [/b]i will burn the certificate,burn the school that gave me and burn the teachers that thought me

hahaha! good one... lolz

drizslim:
Good Morning All
Thank u Lord For this Brown New Day

lolz... OMG!

tripplephi:
ROFL.....................LMAO

I JUST CHECK FACEBOOK AND SAW
IF GOD BEFORE ME WHO CAN BE AGAINS ME
LET GOD I RICE AND LET HIM ENEMY BE SCATTER
....its all good. good job OP

I was seeing stuffs like..

To hair is human, to forgive is design.

You are a blessing to your generator.

My Blackberry charger is no longer walking.

I hate men with low selves of steam.

Any human that eats another human is a carnival.

Be magnified oh Lord, you are highly exhausted.

Oh Lord, you are the killer that holds my life.

My father fathered you and my mother murdered you.

Lolz

Horlaarsco:
I will manage and burn d school self

Will you burn your certificate for 50million dollars (8, 194, 999, 700 naira)?

Be honest o.

He/she starts using password; he/she behaves suspiciously on the phone

Zeedarh:
OP, its actually 7 signs to know if your 'partner' is cheating on you.

8. he/ she starts using password.

Wanna know if your man's doing dirty?Look out for these clues!

1. He's suddenly unavailable
Perhaps he'll be near his phone and later tell you he ran out of battery. Or he'll be at work and his colleague will tell you he just went out for lunch. First sign he's no longer interested. Follow your instincts if you feel there is something going on. Dont be a doormat. Confront him.

2. He behaves suspiciously on the phone
Maybe he walks out of the room to take calls? Or he puts a lock on his phone? Worse still, he takes his phone around with him and doesnt allow you to touch it? Another sign that you're outta the game. Rather than becoming suspicious and untrustworthy like him, deal with it directly. Sit him down and ask him what's going on. Take note of tell-tale signs such as fidgety body language or hesitation.

3. He meets new friends
Perhaps he starts being secretive and going out with someone you dont know or someone you havent been introduced to? Or he goes on and on about a particular female friend he always spends time with? Watch it. It could spell trouble.

4. He changes his movement
If he's meeting someone for sex, he can tell you he's visiting his best friend. If he's going on a date with another lady, he can tell you it's a night out with the boys. Changes in his movement can spell doom for your relationship.

5. He hides his posts
Cheating costs money whether it's going on a date or paying for a night in an hotel room. With all his extra spending comes evidence that something is going on. He hides his credit card bills and doesnt want you to know how much he's spending. Yet another sign that he may have met someone new.

6. He explains too much
A cheater will give an explanation for something and then go into a lot of details to try to convince you. It may sound as if it has been rehearsed, probably because it has! If he does this always, he's very likely to be cheating.

7. Your instincts tell you that he's cheating
If you have this in mind, it's probably because it's true.

Lolz... yes o

bpalace:
Babes can fake anything.. Even likes

Lolz, i even have one now

rheether:
Lwkmd! I use to when i was in my first year.

GIRLFRIEND: Hello oooo dearie!!!!
KWAME: Hi.
GIRLFRIEND: What happened?
KWAME: Nothing.
GIRLFRIEND: No, say na, what happened? You look
unhappy.
KWAME: I will ask you something now and you
have
to tell me the truth. Will you?
GIRLFRIEND: Okay, ask.
KWAME: Who is Joseph? He likes all your profile
pictures and even your status updates on facebook.
Who the hell is he?
GIRLFRIEND: Please don't say anything
about him.
KWAME: Is he your ex-boyfriend? Are you still in love
with him?
GIRLFRIEND: Why would I love him. You are my only
love.
KWAME: Then, is he your brother?
GIRLFRIEND: No, no. Not
like that.
KWAME: Then who the hell is he for Christ's sake?
GIRLFRIEND: Shall we talk about something else?
KWAME: So you are hiding something from me? You
have that much close relationship with him. He's so
much important to you, right?
GIRLFRIEND: If I disclose the
secret you will definitely
scold me.
KWAME: I'm getting irritated now. Don't test my
patience.
GIRLFRIEND: Pleasssssseeee!
KWAME: If you don't tell me, I will break up with you right
now!
GIRLFRIEND: Okay, I will tell you. But promise me that
you won't scold me, okay?
KWAME: Okay.
GIRLFRIEND: Ermmmm, that is my fake profile, if no one
likes my pictures, I like my pictures through that account
and also post comments like beautiful, hot,
sexy, nice one, etc.

Now tell me, how many of you have fake accounts like this girl, no lie
o!

Boy: Mummy cooked chicken for us today again!
Girl: I'm tired of eating chicken. (pulls down her pants) Look, i'm already growing chicken feathers here!
Boy: (pulls down his pants) Me too!
Girl: Oh look! You're already growing the neck of a chicken!
Boy: And the neck even has two chicken eggs under it!
Girl: I think i'll tell mummy not to cook chicken for us again.
Boy: Yes or very soon, i'll start laying eggs!