₦airaland Forum

Bendeco02:
This is ignorant statement.

Even your sisters demands money from you.

The Bleep up is dating a jobless girl. Where do you expect her to get money if not you?

Every girl will demand money from you especially when she have no job but the difference is the rate of which she keep asking or over billing.
So they should stop complaining that Men are living after having sex with them

Love doesn't stop women from demanding money. Just that a girl that love you can't leave you because you fail to give her.

essentialone:
You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.

And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.

*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*

1. *Too many options, zero filters*
Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.

2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation*
The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.

3. *Timeline mismatch*
She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.

4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor*
These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.

5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded*
A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.

6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose*
Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.

*What happens to these women?*

You listed it:
*Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later.
*Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God.
*Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.

And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.

*What the market isn’t saying out loud*

1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women*
Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.

2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment*
It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.

3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious*
He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.

*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*

Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.

1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.

2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.

3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.

4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.

5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.

6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.

*What men need to hear too*

If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready:
1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.”
2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year.
3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.

Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.

*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.

These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”.

TONYE001:
Please, stop giving them anything.

See if you can report to the police without disclosing your identity.

Importantly, plan to relocate ASAP.

Those boys are subhumans with no brain in their skulls.... living close to them exposes you to all sorts of risks.

Kobojunkie:
. There is no truth to these claims you continue to make. I am not sure why you feel these delusions of yours can be made to occlude reality, not that I care. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
. Real men, for you, are literally just traumatized human beings, many suffering from PTSD. Yikes! 😣😣😣

No wonder you went all around and around saying nothing knew only to then arrive at exactly what I had alluded to from almost my very first post. 😣😣😣

Kobojunkie:
After all the unnecessary running around, I see you have finally landed exactly with exactly what I had stated earlier. Yes, some men have very unhealthy attachment styles that connect back to trauma from their pasts and/or unhealthy social conditioning that have them seeing women they are in relationships with as tools... a means to an end. But even that sort of damage cannot be generalized, as there are men out there capable of healthy human relationships.

Kobojunkie:
Well, there is not much to think of in your posts which don't align with reality as it presents itself outside of your head.

Kobojunkie:
1. It is so very convenient of you to conclude that because these men's behaviors are not tailored to your particular delusion, therefore, they are the problem in expressing what are simple human emotions. 🥱🥱🥱

Again, I am not interested in the details of your particular delusions but in understanding what exactly you hope to gain by offering these contradictory ideas in this situation. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Nature instead has it that all human beings — men, women, and animals — seek that which benefits them. The concept of survival of the fittest suggests that each member of each species seeks out benefits to help them live and thrive, sometimes at the expense of others. So, why in the world are you continually trying to project your delusions above common sense? 🥱🥱🥱

3. You are just a typical Nigerian from all you have spewed so far. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. Men don't care about commitment, yet these same men have near-zero tolerance for women cheating on them, not committing to them? There are literally thousands of videos of men crashing out after discovering their girlfriend/sidechick — not even wife—had been cheating on them. Yet you are here trying to fiddle us with tales of men not wanting commitment from women? And there are numerous crime stories online of men who murdered their wives for cheating on them. 😏😏

Do you know you are literally talking out of both sides of your mouth at this point in the discussion? And I wonder to what end. 🥱🥱

2. We are not here discussing wealthy men, which I am sure you are not and have never been one of. We are on an issue that concerns the general populace, so let's stop with the ridiculous attempts to deviate from the facts. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Did you by any chance detest/hate your mother for getting older, giving birth, or even having sex with your father for a long time, or on grounds of too much familiarity while you were growing up with her? Did you, at some point, start to hate your friends/roommate for any of the same reasons? What makes you think that watching someone you love grow older or becoming familiar with such a one makes you begin hating or not liking them much? 🥱🥱

2. Looking for excitement and validation by abusing his wife, whom he supposedly loves? Hahaha!! (Cheating is a form of abuse where a partner denies the right to consent to the other partner while literally putting them in harm's way— emotional harm and STDS come to mind.) And in many cases, follows the abuse up with gaslighting to make the woman believe she is the reason why he chose to abuse, and she ought to bear shame for his cheating on her. What part of all of that screams, "I love you?"🥱🥱

---

The telling part of all of this is that if a woman were to offer up the same reasons to explain her cheating on her husband, you would not hesitate to have her kicked out of that house. Yet you want women to believe the same bullsheet reasoning that men would not even accept or entertain? Isn't that the most absurd delulu nonsense ever? 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
For many men, the wife is the woman they settled for— to mine free labor and other benefits of having a wife at home from— whereas the sidechick is the woman that is more their type but either cannot afford or cannot measure up to her standards.

Pompoma:
We bring only pussiii and bweast. That's all. Anyone who don't like it should remain celibate.

Adaumunocha:
Only wise ones will understand what this post is about

Oyindidi:
Watin this rubbish dey do for nairaland frontpage? Na so here don be?


Back to the topic, I see many men dey happy sey woman dey hail them, make una also remember sey women too dey see different cute guys too. No give watin you no go fit take. Control yourself the way women dey control themselves.
I drop my pen!

SoftSport:
Tinubu is trying to fix many things but this power issue doesn’t make sense, how can 150 million people use just 5,000 megawatts, is it nepa magic?