quisera:

This statement confirms that the Op is a cheat. Someone advised you to dump ur guy and work on your relationship with your male bestie and u're glad about it, even offering to give it a trial. Madam you think friendship and relationship na the same thing abi? No worry ur eyes go neat....mtcheew

I wish i had cheated on him at least for him to have a taste of his medicine..

divineuk:
The problem is you ladies make issues complicated for yourselves, what are you doing with a male bestie why can’t you make your boyfriend your bestie how would you feel if he was the one doing that to you.

Please read and assimilate my post very well..

LabuleofNigeria:
My dear sister, please read my words carefully.

1. Be very carefull with the advices you get on Social media/NL, in here, there are lots of wayward beings
2. I understand exactly how you feel and i feel your pain
3. Accept that you are WRONG truly because you are WRONG
4. You are wrong because. It is WRONG for a woman in a very serious/commited relationship
or a married woman or in an (an about-to-wed) status to keep a MALE best-friend.
5. Take it or leave it, If you continues same way in 100 serious relationships or marriages, it will all crash/ end in tears
regardless of your faithfullness or not
6. Once relationships gets to a Clear Green status, its best to switch your male best friends to female or limit d closeness
7. Accept your Mistakes, beg him, do-away with male BEST friend and enjoy your fiance.
8. Its either you choose your fiance or your Male Bestie.
9. His switching to a long-mute angered mood/status is his personal attribute, learn to manage that. We all have our weaknesses as human.
(You have your own weaknesses too if we ask him).
10. God bless you as you haken

Believe me, if he had lived up to the expectation I needed in the relationship, I won't be in the mess of the bestie/friendship brouhaha.. He knows that i am introvert and hardly mingle with people and that been said, I have told him times without number that i wish that he knows so much a lot about me and what i am capable of doing if something rises up about me..

gwininfo:
there are questions you must ask yourself
1. where is this relationship going to with such attitude of his
2. Are you being blinded by love
3.If there was a situation that arose who can I call and rely on between my boyfriend and best friend

NOW MY OPINION
It is quite obvious that your boyfriend doesn't respect you and he is taking advantage of your too much love for him, whether you guys are even married he should respect your privacy the same way you respect his.
leave that obsessed and entitled boyfriend of yours (it would be hard but you would triumph eventually) and focus on your best friend because the best kind of relationship is the one you have with your best friend
How would someone yiu are dating and claims to love you be ghosting yiu like that.... Add some value to yourself and walk out of that relationship because he is clearly using and taking advantage of you
I once took advantage of someone like that, and right now I am happy she left and she is with someone who loves and adore her than I would ever do. Give yourself an opportunity to experience true love.

Thank you, I am definitely going to work on this ☝️

Palema007:
Tiredagain please leave your unstable boyfriend alone, a person that ghost you at will is very unstable and unreliable. He knows you love him so much and he is acting on it. What would become of you if you lose your friendship only for him to go for months without communication. Please I don't know why you still stick in that 'situationship' because what you are into isn't a relationship. Let him go and find a better person you both can connect.

However, when you are in a new relationship with a reliable guy then accord him his respect by reducing your closeness with your bestie. I wish you luck and peace.

Advice noted.. I will curtail the friendship aspect with my colleague too

Thanks

GoldenJAT:
You have said it all. I see so many people commenting and leaving the main issue out of their write up.
That guy is playing a game,and the girl in question is so naive.

Yea. I won't blame you calling me naive, I know all these things but just purposely ignore because I always hope that one day he will change.. I won't even surprise that I will mumushily get back to him if he comes back tomorrow..

1beat:
both of you are not ready for serious relationship jare....

you are not sacrificing somethings indore to establish peace in your relationship, you have placed your colleague and your boyfriend side by side in your heart. this is wrong your boyfriend is not been love exact way he deserve.

how would you feel if your boyfriend has female friend that they're very close to the extend that they chat till late hours every day visit each other

having a male close friend is wrong your boyfriend should be your close friend

If he had given me that opportunity, he knows that I would be open to him

Mandela27:
Now that's how a man should act.
You women are bunch of crazy uncultured beigns.why on earth should u have a male best friend?and you expect ur boifriend to believe d guy is not smashing u.
If i were the guy,i would DUMP u and Next time learn to love only one man.

Thank you

NobleSeed:

So tell us.
Is it business chat?

It wasn't a business chat either... It was a case of confidentiality and it came at the wrong time..

NobleSeed:
Come to think of it sister.
Why were you preventing him from going through the chat? Sometimes you just gat sacrifice some kind things for peace sake,i no he was trying to intrude to your privacy but then you would have let him so as to clear his doubt.
Clean conscience fear no accusations.

There’s a particular chat I had the previous night with him and believe me i can't deem fit to show someone else..

NB: It is not a sex chat

henrybomb:
If all this you said here is actually true
Then you are dating a stalker and an obsessive guy..It is difficult to talk you out of it I just think you guys should have a free time and talk this over lunch or anytime you feel it is convenient for you both.

All the the fights we have had over the course of the relationship was nothing serious about... He can just wake up and decide to ignore me for like weeks or months and all those times, I will be the one begging for the attention.. I decided to stop those nonsenses this year and then he started stalking me, when we made up over the phone, he agreed on catching up only for him to come up with this too..

I relayed to my best friend, he said that I should sort things out with him even if it will cost our friendship because he knows I loved the dude genuinely..

My problem now is whether to make the 1st move

I am active member here, reason for the pseudo account.

Long post alert :

I was/have been in a relationship with him for years, initially it was all rosy till he began to switch on/off at intervals.We hardly request for anything from each other because we both work and contented with the little we earn. Each time I sense that he wants to be left alone, I quietly give him his space. I have tried times without number to make him open up to me but it will all seem like a waste which makes me to retreat all the time. Mind you, he knows that i love him and practically can do anything or forgive him anytime he messes up.

Our last fight before this was that he called me during working hours and wanted to know if I was chanced to meet him then i asked him if all was well with him, he became angry and dropped the call. I tried reaching out to him for months but he intentionally avoided me, after 3 to 4 months of my efforts, I decided to let him be to concentrate on myself and others, he started stalking me on all online platforms. We later settled though.

To the main issue for this post, I have a colleague at work, we discuss practically everything and anything. My other colleagues knows that we are both best friends and nothing else, we also make fun of ourselves on 'stories'. But the issue is that my boyfriend thinks something is beyond that our friendship and that i have things i am hiding from him. To be honest, my best friend has confided a lot to me that i promised him that it would stay between us. Mind you, we have never sex chatted nor call ourselves romantic names of any sorts.

So recently, after making up with my fiance, he wanted to meet up with me after so many months, I obliged, only for him to request for my phone, I gave him voluntarily, as he was going through it, he wanted to open the chat I had with my best friend but I forcefully collected the phone from him. I tried talking him out that there's nothing going on between me and my colleague but he assumed and concluded that something is going on between us . He said that my attitude shows that I value my best friend more than him but i tried proving him wrong because some many times, I needed his attention he wasn't there and my best friend is the only one who knows everything and vice versa.. He told me right through my eyes that it is over.

Besides, he had once forcefully collected his phone from me sometimes last year when i was updating his WhatsApp for him and I mistakenly stumbled upon a chat of him with a lady.. I never made a case about it with him

Honest Truth : I have never involved myself in any sexual act with my best friend or any man apart from my fiance.. I value both my friendship and relationship but my fiance is making me to choose

Please i need your genuine opinion
Help a sister

Was i wrong
What advice would you give to me


Please i don't wish for it to make Frontpage because either of them would see and know who's behind the post because they are both members but not active�


Modified : the content of the chat I had with my colleague was about my fiance and there were so many provoking words in it, reason i did what i did because I never intended hurting him