₦airaland Forum

xfire:
Your approach will vary very slightly depending on your discipline, career of interest and the target firms. However, these are general guidelines:
1. You don't necessarily need to attach copies of your credentials to the cover letter and CV. It's not wrong if you do, but it's not necessary. They will demand for it if they are interested in you.
2. You may explore both options. However, state categorically in the email that you have sent hard copies as back-up.
3. lol. We all know fastest delivery options - DHL, UPS, Fedex, and even NIPOST's EMS. But you know they are more costly. I hear NIPOST normal mail service is very efficient now though not as fast as those mentioned earlier.
4. It depends on the firm, your discipline and the position of interest. I can't give you a blanket answer.

What's your educational qualification and course of study?

foxglove:
2010 Toyota Venza
Tincan cleared(Lagos)
Automatic drive
Air condition intact
Color:Black
6cd loader
Air bags intact
Interior:fabric seat
Alloy rim
Drives perfectly
Extra tire intact
Jack intact
Location:Lagos'Ikeja

PRICE:5.5M

Enquiries:pls call Wale on:08059766661

N.B:Serious buyers only

what is the millage?? besides did it develop any problem before u decided to sell??

joefab:
I got same mail but mine is monday 6th or tuesday if I can't make it on monday.

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.

And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

softapple:
TO summarise it, "this woman has been trying to seduce my friend before the death of her husband, eventually when her husband died my friend went to console her three days after but the unthinkable happen, he was seduce by the woman in her room and he had sex with her, mind you it was rainy and people that came to console her have all left except the woman's younger sister who was sleeping in her room based on the heavy downpour. "are there any implications to a guy that had sex with a woman three days after her husband's death or does he need any spiritual cleansing? he is scared for his life but the widow in question is not a little bit scared at all, though she is still young and withouth a child, pls what should my friend do?

MyInfoo:
FIVE AMAZING FACTS ABOUT LADIES!!!!
{1} They hate breast feeding their baby but they love breast feeding their boyfriends.
{2} They like dressing in very short mini-skirt but they keep pulling them down to their knees as they walk.
{3} They claim they hate s*x but they enjoy it more than the man!
{4} They like saving most of their money but they will spend yours till ur last kobo.
{5} They claim they are not interested in a man's wealth but again they swear not to date a broke guy.

True or False?

joshua8016:
WOW! Huge crowd at APC Rally in
Oregon, USA. As Obama introduces GMB, he says "Brooms Up,

source++https://mobile.twitter.com/MrAyeDee/status/561568658280153089

xfire:
Great contribution icon4s
Most oil companies recruit experienced security coordinators / advisors/ experts with the exception of Shell which recently started recruiting trainee security advisors.
I will advise you to focus on gaining experience. It doesn't matter where. Experience in security field is more valuable than certification. They may be some certifications in the field but I'm not aware of any. I will try and find out.
But gaining experience in various aspects of security coordination - security management of personnel, logistics, transport, facilities, inventory stock etc should be your top priority.

omenka:
Passengers will definitely pay five times the normal cost of transportation.

frankben4real:
Electrical engineering what option did you do,cause am study Elect/Elect too telecommunication option this is my final year... so I think your option has more to link for your masters and I will advise you to stick to engineering

aminho:
i was sitting in our companies lobby with my girlfriend a while back during a job interview,A guy approached us thinking we were part of the applicants and said he can help us get the job his uncle owns the company and he was just their as a formality he was doing it in a way to get my GF'S attention she understood the move so we played along for the fun of it,i asked him how can i get job as i just graduated and i needed the job badly thats when he said i will pay 80k,as for my gf which he doesn't know is with me she will just be his date for the night which she agrees too he then asks for my name and i wrote down for him the receptionist and the security guards where just laughing,he gave me his account number to deposit the money into which i agreed the rest of the applicants on seeing it approached him and started beggin him to help them thats when he saw my fathers photo hanging on the wall with founder and CEO written beneath the portrait oboy come see how my fake eastern friend humbled his person and started stammering before i could say asenal he has left the building without taking the interview he just missed a chance of a life time cuz 70% of the people there were picked and when i checked his file and cv he graduated top of his class in nsukka

ibnSalaudeen:
search for a certain 'xfire' here on nairaland. u gon get good suggestions from him, hopefully

bloglover:
Why not wait until it comes down? Where are u rushing to?
anyways if u can't wait, then flex any part of your muscles for at least 30secs to 1 min, it will come down. Please stop urinating in the sink, that's a disgusting habit.

la01:
@tnycee, do u mean dey still invited pipo 4 apptitude test dis week? I wrote in lag

rafhell:
At work, i Just open the tap and urinate inside wash hand basin.

adaybayor:
when will you stop being an ethnic bigot, if you are so "development oriented" why has ur region not developed as much as the south west. before you reply note that I am currently a service corper in anambra and I have been well introduced to your people's "cruel hostility" towards other tribes.

naturalwaves:
Access bank 237k per month
Shell Trainee About 667k per month.