₦airaland Forum

Queenlovely:
Nairalanders please I need your honest advice on this issue.
My brother opened up to me about his marriage yesterday. I promised I will give him a reply today. He has a marital problem. He complained bitterly that his wife has never said sorry to him. 11 years of marriage and she has never apologised to him anyday. He usually takes the initiative to beg when they have an issue.
Recently she went behind her husband to borrow money from his friend. My brother Is a very quiet person and dislikes third party involvement in his marriage. She keep on repeating that her husband has never done anything for her. My brother had to sell his new bike for a song, just because she wanted to settle a financial problem.
My brother is fed up and wants to call it quit, but for the sake of their baby. What should I say to him

BigBelleControl:
Yes, I'm a Nairalander.

menxer:
so you think because you wedded in church or court there is a spiritual attachment?
the only attachment is the child.

cruchenuti:
Mind your business, that's how to handle the situation.

talk2alabama:
Fine guy like you .. See how you just destroy yourself... Please remove your picture biko...

baby124:
This is the husband. Lol. Instead of you to change your ways, you are here looking for ideas to get what you don't deserve. LOL.

Mimzyy:
There is no big issue or small issue.

None of the two options listed above will work for me so here is my number 3 (AS THE WOMAN)

3. One the argument becomes heated, cool down, hug him tight(he is gonna resist but make sure you hold on tighter ). Tell him you love him and you are sorry for exchanging words with him (remember that men are egocentric in nature, he will love this and his head will swell ). Plant a deep kiss(very very french kiss oo) on his lips, then take him to the other room and remind him(not in words.but in actions ) that you remain his personal porn star .

When he wakes up in the morning, apologize again, then calmly tell him what he said/did to piss you off the night before, he will apologize (might not be in words, some men do not know how to say sorry, yes it's bad but that is just how they are wired but he will show remorse somehow). #CaseClosed

nnamdibig:
This is why you need to know who you are getting married to.
It depends because I once saw it on my GF's phone and almost ended the relationship only to discover by myself that someone downloaded them with her data and send them to his phone.
And she was not even aware the porn was on her phone.

And for the person talking of respecting privacy, I will suggest you stay off the institution called marriage for now until you are ready.







urs is gf while this is wife, I asked her she said the friend (a married woman) downloaded it with her phone , she wasn't even remorseful for what she did, but decided to warn the lady to stay off my house

SirVintageCock:
What do you expect? He obviously want to cage her because she depends on him. He had to censure what she watches because he feeds, and clothes her.

SirVintageCock:
What do you mean after four children? You left that wife of yours and travel all over the world for God's know how long frolicking with ladies of different colours and shape and you are here asking this senseless questions.
How old is this wife that you are trying so hard to demonize her sexual desires? You are probably too old for her that your sex organ isn't functioning enough to satisfy her which lead her to the por.n. If you do not up your game in the bedroom she will take outside and tell whoever that cares to listen what a lousy man you are. In short, I wish that wife of yours can get her act together and leave your sorry ass cos you are one hell of a paranoid m' fucker.

ipain:
He has a point sir, though hash in his approach.

Permit me to call you Sir because 10 years out of my current age means I am a kid in comparison to your experience in life.

However, permit me to also state that you are not paying attention to salient vibes by discovery of your own exploration on your wife.

I might be young, sir but one of the first things I learned out of fear is what you have described in your threads--which is wife seeking sex outside.

In a bid to prepare for the future, I spent time reading stuffs about female sexuality and I think I know enough not to fall in your current state. Sex isn't food but women wants it, they may not tell you.

See, it takes the grace of God for a woman not to fork another dick wherein her husband is neglecting her.

She wants it sir. Please give it to her. Be her friend.

Honestly, I was taking the stance of previous posters who wanted you to kick her out but Dyt and Co made me had a rethink because I had no idea you created previous threads on this same issue. I went over your threads to have an idea before commenting.

A woman's brain is her emotion. They act based on emotion most of the time and if you are not there to channel that emotion strategically and effectively, they often fall astray. They are called weaker vessel for a reason.

This year I tested 3 cases with 3 different girls and all fell for it. We never had sex, however if I had wanted to take to next level, I could have succeeded WITHOUT hitches. Not saying all women cheat but the chances are high if any guy can excite a lady's fantasy that she has been nursing for long.

I do understand that she should have spoken to you over any problem, but have you been open to her or have you been rigid and cold towards her? What is the level of your communications with her? Are you friends? What if she has been longing to visit some places, just you and her? Have you tried to find out that? How about surprises?

This is just one fantasy I could tickle in one of the 3 girls. Why did she like the idea? She had been nursing it, but her boyfriend wasn't there to get it done. He probably just go visit, they take pictures in same environment, no adventure, nothing.

I know you work hard to feed, shelter and lead the family and the fact my epistle te to lean in her favour does not mean I am being insensitive to your existence. Do I have to remind you that this is why we are called "man"? We were born "man+age" things. Where born to "man+ufacture" things. It's a price we pay for upholding this gender status, sir.

Before you kick her out, ensure you have at least tried to control the damages.

I perceive you are being rigid, loosen up sir, at least for the sake of your kids if you love them, which I believe you do.

You can do this. Women are babies no matter their age, pet your wife.

Sometimes things I read that cause problems in marriages makes me laugh because I can easily deflect them without ado.

On a more serious note sir, please take time to study female sexuality, it helps.

And also build your friendship with her. Take her and the kids out. Buy her stuffs, excite her fantasies, surprise her. Above all, explor ALL options before you quit. If after doing ALL this, she still doesn't change, then you are free to let her go. Nobody will blame you.

SirVintageCock:
Guy, you have massive issues not your wife. In a spate of two weeks you've created three threads centred around sex with each of them pointing accusing fingers at you. What do you say about that?
You have sexual weakness...
Your wife is watching po.rn..
Now, she is allegedly hooking up with an ex...AFTER A DECADE OF MARRIAGE WITH FOUR KIDS.....I THINK YOUR ARE BECOMING PARANOID AND DELUSIONAL.
Up your game in the bedroom and stop disturbing us with your woe tails.
Divorce her and understand what family RECESSION means.

Dyt:
That's not what I mean
I don't support her cheating either
But I am a woman
And from your write uo
You have been with her for years
Even have 4kids
No complaints
If complaints starts popping up now
Then there's something wrong somewhere

Yes we women are crazy
But we only are mad when pushed
What have you done to her is all I am asking
It's obvious you still want her and sure you can revive your union

I may be really small to you in everyway but I am a woman and to some extent I reason like an old one


So sorry if my previous post made you a bit angry
I act like a baby most times

Dyt:

You know why I am laughing?
Cos I sense she's paying back

Farmerforlife:
It is difficult, but it is best to let her go bro. If she is unfaithful, she's not worth the lifelong headache you will find yourself in. Just find yourself a happier marriage when the pain dies down a little. Just make sure your seperation is done in an amicable and mature manner, because of the kids. Don't fight for custody or slander each other in court... just work out an arrangement for who sees them when... I guess she wouldn't have much time for them anyway, in her new found freedom as a sisi, so they would probably end up staying with you much of the time.

Sorry about your plight. A mistrustful marriage can really destabilise what should be a happy home, and for what? Mere passing pleasure, and a stolen orgasm or two, followed by years of regret.

Farmerforlife:
Suspected, or actually unfaithful? It only gets worse. I do not understand why a man or woman would want to remain with an unfaithful spouse. There is little to gain from such a relationship except cummulative headaches. Find a way to seperate amiably and discuss child issues sensibly (to make it easier on the kids). Ten to one, the lover will quickly reject her when she is now hanging on his neck and she will come back begging for a 'second chance'.

But I smh for cheaters. I really dislike reading about people committing adultery. Anyone who cannot restrict his/ her attentions to his/her legally married spouse, has no business being married.

raumdeuter:
You didnt state this before, If she thinks the years spent with you is a waste why hasnt she left you

We should do this the modern way and not the marry by force Nigerian way.

Get divorce papers served to her and tell her you are just helping to release her from more yrs of waste in the marriage