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UjuJoan2's Posts

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Politics / Re: Ogbonnaya Onu is dead! (Ex-Governor of Abia State dies at 72) by UjuJoan2: 9:08pm On Apr 11
Juliusganduje:
Kiddo, if it were to be your father that died, would you be shining teeth like you did here? This is someone's father and grandfather. Have some conscience man.

I think his son used to be a Nairalander.

My heart goes out to the family, may God console them.

1 Like

Family / Re: 10 Lessons I Learnt In My 10 Years Of Marriage by UjuJoan2: 1:44am On Apr 10
franchasofficia:
Like I said earlier you are right with your line of reasoning about the issue but then it is beyond your understanding because you are a woman and not a man.

You are talking about who gets more approached here but I am talking about natural instincts, natural phenomenon.


You think it is by women's discipline that even though they get more approached by different men for romance, still more women reject such approaches more than men?

It is by discipline that men chase women more than women chase men all over the world?


You think it's by discipline that a boy of 12 years starts liking girls and getting erection and start looking for a girl to hump while girls of his age are running away from boys?

You think it's by discipline or coincidence that Presidents, kings, Prime Ministers, male billionaires, male CEOs, Bishops, Pastors, Imams, etc spend so much just to entice girls to sleep with them but the female ones control themselves or do theirs in a more limited way?

It is by discipline that Queen Elizabeth remained faithful to her husband but her husband could not despite their status in the world?


It is by discipline that Hillary Clinton remained faithful to Bill Clinton but bill Clinton being US President with so much attention on him couldn't exercise same discipline?


No wahala

This is the way Nigerian men think. They think they were born to flirt and sleep with anything available. But the truth is that, most women think that way too.

But we live in a society where a promiscuous woman is seen as a wh0re and the same kind of man is seen as a virile man. So women restrain because they know the society is less forgiving of their indiscretions.

Have you met a girl / woman who has absolutely nothing to lose? Then you'll know men are women are equally sexually promiscuous.

2 Likes

Family / Re: 10 Lessons I Learnt In My 10 Years Of Marriage by UjuJoan2: 1:37am On Apr 10
DonDraper:


Chux Nnodim

I agree with No. 9. A woman can never respect or love a man she has to provide for. She might for a short period of time, but if it becomes the norm you have lost her.

Most women don't mind having gender roles, what annoys us is when we have to provide financially and still have to play the role of a home maker all the time. Marriage, like life, has to be balanced!

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Should I Shoot My Shot At Him? by UjuJoan2: 9:26pm On Apr 04
Jewessgratitud3:
I need a very mature advice here.

I'm a picky person when it comes to making relationship choices. For me the attractiion has to come from my end otherwise I'll find it difficult to accept the individual.


There's this guy, very mature and. I'm sure will be older than me or we'll be of same age I love watching his contents on Facebook and what attracted me to him was one of his sit down videos where he talked about premarital sex and the dangers of engaging in it as a Christian. I was wowed that a dark handsome man like him could speak against such practices and his audience that day were youth and teenagers.

I began to observe him and noticed he addresses the youth more and is always teaching them moral and academic lessons. I somehow felt connected to him and one day summoned the courage to ask him if he's married. He didn't reply.

I recently came across his video again and asked him for the last time on his comment section if he's married and I said this was the last time I was going to ask him this question. He now replied that he is not married.

I don't know, would it be wise if I take a shot at him or try being his friend. He's a Born again brother and my spec.

Please sincere advice.

If you think because he preaches against pre-marital sex, he doesn’t engage in it, you have a huge shock coming your way.

Shoot your shot, but tread with caution!

30 Likes 3 Shares

Family / Re: Walked Into The Introduction Ceremony Of My 6yrs Relationship by UjuJoan2: 3:56am On Mar 30
Irreplaceable01:
The pregnancy was real. I have evidences, but chose not to post. All pregnancy symptoms were visible. There was changes in her body system, shape and colour. Even up to appetite,smell, craving (I was buying cat fish pepper soup like mad). There was a time she was having sleepless time, will be on call with her late into the night.

Registered her for antenatal at a general hospital and also for native treatment for massaging of the stomach. The woman she registered with confirmed and is available to confirm that she was pregnant.

We visited my mum when the pregnancy was around 4/5 months in. My mum confirmed the pregnancy (my mum can spot a pregnant woman from far and she will be right).

I have enough legal ground and evidences to take up the pregnancy issue with her and her family. Even up to when she told me she was pregnant for me.

People that are calling me a SIMP might not be able to repeat that if we meet offline.

No hospital will abort a 7 month old pregnancy, it can never be done. Either she lost the baby or she had the baby and is hiding the child from you.

Or she lied about the pregnancy! I wonder why you don’t even want to consider that possibility.

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Pretty Nigerian Lady Disproves Okafor's Law At NYSC Camp (photo) by UjuJoan2: 1:47am On Feb 26
Stupid law!

Why go back, when you can just have a fresh one. 🤔🤔🤔
Family / Re: Trending Video Of Nigerian Mum & Her Quintuplets Having 'Annual General Meeting' by UjuJoan2: 2:10pm On Feb 19
Chai see fine babies . . And looking fresh and healthy too. What a joy!!
Family / Re: What My Panel Beater Said Concerning Food Stuff Shock Me. by UjuJoan2: 3:02pm On Feb 16
Nairalander248:


He does... I don't know the price of foodstuffs at market... Month end I send someone or my sister to buy and stuck my house with foodstuffs, I only know things are adding up... So I increase the budget from 40k to 60k. They are telling me e b like I will need to add 20k to make it 80k for next month food stuff budget.

Do you know when last a cup of rice was 60 or 70 naira? Trust me, if he drops money he WILL know.

At least you are aware and increasing your budget. This guy has no clue.

12 Likes

Family / Re: Case Closed by UjuJoan2: 2:14am On Feb 13
You are right, his suggestion is strange . . . For a Pastor!

What God has joined together let no man put asunder.

Do not leave your home.

4 Likes

Business / Re: Can't Send Dollars To Nigeria Any More by UjuJoan2: 5:34pm On Feb 09
Throwback:
Very good!

We don't spend dollars in Nigeria. Collect the naira equivalent and spend.

Why government will tolerate that rubbish is quite puzzling.

Nigeria is about the only foolish country that tolerate that nonsense. No sense of economic security.

Next is to ensure domiciliary accounts only get credited with foreign currencies from international transfer to cater for those who work rotations abroad or those who work remotely, and once the account is credited, any amount beyond a certain threshold should be converted to Naira, while whatever is left should be taxed at a monthly rate that ensures that the money is reduced to half of what was left as a foreign currency in the domiciliary account. That will help discourage any plan to retain forex as a means to store wealth in the domiciliary account

This double blow will ensure that those stockpiling forex cash do not have anywhere to offload it within the Nigerian economy.

All forex trading outside of the banking system should carry life imprisonment for economic treason.

I can vouch that 50% of all the forex trading going on in the past 6months, is not serving any economic purpose besides storing wealth.

Is storing wealth a bad thing?

I mean in a county like Nigeria where people embezzle government funds and store for generations to come, I can understand your point.

But what about hard working citizens who work hard and might want to use foreign deposits as a means of investment.

I used to buy USD when I could and store in my account and over the years I had enough investment to pay for my medical bills ( which I didn’t even know I would need).

I’m all for stringent measures to help tackle the economic crisis, but some of these policies are just plain stupid and will only make like harder for the ordinary Nigerian. Those big politicians will always find a way around these things.

1 Like

Romance / Re: "Before You Marry Her Allow Her To Catch You Cheating"- Nigerian Man Urges by UjuJoan2: 11:25pm On Feb 08
DyshApp:
A Nigerian man, Usman Ahmad, has taken to social media to advise men on one of the tests to carry out on a woman before marrying her.

Usman urged men to test their partner’s tolerance level by cheating on her at least twice before their wedding.

According to him, they should intentionally allow her to catch them cheating so that they can be sure she has the spirit of forgiveness and the ‘fear of God.’

Taking to Facebook on Wednesday, January 31, he wrote,

“Before you marry any woman, allow her to catch you cheating at least twice. That way you can be sure of her tolerance level and emotional maturity. That way you can be very sure if she has the fear of God and spirit of forgiveness. Real love is all about forgiveness.”

👉Get all the hot Naija Gist from our Relationship Talk Group

Any woman that forgives an unrepentant cheating man, is also cheating behind his back. Trust me on this!!

If you like be hailing her a wife material, payback is real!
Family / Re: My Husband Would Say, "... I'm More Than Blessed To Have You" by UjuJoan2: 12:21am On Feb 05
RevenuesBoost:
There are crochets I made myself, I don't know how to explain to people that I actually made the hair myself.

Today I don record this one.😂
Make una watch my small talent.



My husband would say, "God will bless that prophetess that discredited you before your ex, without that, I wouldn't have seen a perfect woman like you to get married to🤪, I'm more than blessed to have you"

Awwww...🥰🥰🥰
This young man seizes every opportunity to make me blush.



I never see making my hair myself as stress because I enjoy this so much.
I had so much passion for hair dressing that I started making hair at the age of 8.
I would say, I was born for this😁





https://youtube.com/shorts/2gJWGUHxNpI?si=6eoBo6jZ_fzC9tcB

Welldone, it’s actually harder than it looks. I make hair too, but never in myself. It’s too much work and not worth the stress for me.

Kudos!

1 Like 1 Share

Family / Re: 'I Regret Pushing My Husband To Move Us From Okota To Lekki Phase 1' - Woman by UjuJoan2: 3:29pm On Feb 02
God1000:
It's good to admit mistakes, you have learnt your lessons the hard way.


What is her lesson here?
Romance / Re: 'This Guy Tricked Me From Calabar To Umuahia, Slept With Me And Ran Away' – Lady by UjuJoan2: 1:36pm On Jan 24
gaby:


Keep reading, you'll surely come back to edit this comment, my dear brother/sister.

It doesn’t matter what the later revelations are. When he made his post he didn’t see them either. This time it's scam, next time it might be real. The fact of my post remains true!
Romance / Re: 'This Guy Tricked Me From Calabar To Umuahia, Slept With Me And Ran Away' – Lady by UjuJoan2: 1:31pm On Jan 24
gaby:
Lost for words.

Shame don die since 1902.

You were coerced to travel all the way from Calabar to Abia.

Coerced to "bo pata". Coerced to position and coerced to "judile".

You brain dey pain you.

She's still stupidly advertising her foolishness and at the same time advertising herself for the next "lazy youth" to take advantage of.

Make una dey careful with all these una "dripping boys" wey dey fascinate una abeg oh.

Nutrimilk and Agege Bread....wonderful mix.

Such a cute girl oh.

This is what you get when you chase after "check out his drips" kinda boys.

This, right here, is why you guys do the things you do. Because you know you will NEVER be held account. If the lady dares complain she will be slut shamed and mocked .

I applaud her for having the confidence to speak up. The guy is obviously going to get away with it, but at least she satisfied her conscience by publicly calling him out. In a SANE environment he will be in JAIL!!! But of course, Nigeria is a ZOO!!!
Family / Re: Nigerian Man Living Abroad Caught Wife In Hotel After She Claimed Going To Work by UjuJoan2: 1:24pm On Jan 24
AdaAwka1:


Pls she is my sister and she didn't cheat. The husband is just demented.

I know the story may not be as it looks. Men are crazy, if a married mother of 4 decides to cheat, her husband must deserve it,

2 Likes

Family / Re: Paying Bride Price To Claim Child Born Out Of Wedlock When Already Married To A by UjuJoan2: 10:12pm On Jan 20
Crystal08:


He explained to me, that if the mother wasn't alive he would have to pay bride price by her grave to get his son. The thing that actually worries me, is the woman. She actually acts like they are in a relationship and my husband keeps telling me that she will never be my problem, yet I find it disturbing.

Your husband is marrying a second wife, plain and simple!

7 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: Finally Married by UjuJoan2: 8:45pm On Jan 13
Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello my lovely famz long time, I hope you are all doing well. I got some great news for you I just wanted to let you know that I have gotten married on the 6th of january 2024 my traditional and court wedding done and dusted. You have been a great support for me over the years that's why I couldn't keep this great news from you. Thank you once again to you all for all the support and love you have showing me and my children. God bless you all.

Congrats Vivian, wish you a happily married life!!
Family / Re: My Near Rape Experiences Ladies And Mothers Beware And Learn From My Experience by UjuJoan2: 2:06pm On Jan 11
I think every young girl living in Nigeria has been raped or nearly raped at least once’s . . .

When I was in the university, we would go to a secondary school nearby to study all night, we called it TBD.

One night my roommate and I went there to study, and decided sometime around 1am that we were both tired and needed to go home to sleep. While walking back, we came across one Vigilante security. When he called us we were not alarmed at all, afterall he was a security man who was there to protect us, not harm us.

So we went (away from the main road close to his shed) to answer his call. He brought out a gun, I don’t know the brand, but it was quite long and rusty, and pointed it at us and asked us to come inside his shed. We went in shaking with fear, not knowing what to expect. Then he asked my roommate to take off her clothes and lie down on the table, he wanted to ‘take her’. My roommate said NO and he pointed to gun and threatened to shoot, she insisted and said no, he turned to me and I said NO too, but by then I was already crying and shaking.


He threatened us again with the guy but we stood our ground. My roommate was much bolder than me, she was confident and was praying out loud. Me I was just crying. I actually thought I was going to die that night.

She had been raped before, infact her first sexual encounter was rape when she was a child by a close family friend. So she was willing to die than go through it again. Honestly me I was almost giving in sef 🤭🤭🤭

Anyway, eventually he said since we were being stubborn he would go get more men to deal with us and asked us to wait there and left. And crazy as we were, we were actually waiting for him to come back 😲😲😲

While we were waiting we saw a group of students coming back from the school passing by, we ran to them and told them what was going on. They said “and you guys are here waiting? Omo run for your life ooh?) we took to our heels. . All of us, including the new group of students.

We couldn’t run back to our hostel because we were scared they would run after us and shoot, so we ran with one of the guys who luckily lived very close by. We spent the rest of the morning there and went back home when it was very bright. I never saw that guy again, but in a way he saved our life that night. May God bless him!

Life in Nigeria is hard!!

3 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: Dating In Canada - Serious Minded Individuals Only by UjuJoan2: 4:49am On Jan 03
kwonder223:
It can be difficult to meet other Nigerians in Canada. So I decided to give this a shot!

I am a 32-year-old female looking to meet a serious-minded male (ages 33–40). My genotype is AA. I am dark-skinned and plus-sized. I live in British Columbia. I am a Christian, and I'd like to meet someone who is also a Christian. I have no ethnic preference; I'm just interested in the character of the individual.

I hope it works out for you. Personally I don’t have much faith in Nairaland men!!

4 Likes

Family / Re: Anambra Igbo Tradition Children by UjuJoan2: 11:38pm On Dec 31, 2023
Naijastars:
Please need advice:
Met an igbo girl, fooled around with her. I like to spend time with her.

She was down with her luck. Hard working, but economy tough so her shop suffered. House rent was due and food got more expensive. Her parents died and her family is hardly contributing. Maybe sometimes they sent 2 or 3k for food.

Let her sleep in my house for months, provided her with food daily, bought clothes for her and kitchen appliances, pay for her hair, buy her makeup etc.

Few months later am busy with business so looked for a new place for her. We find out I gave her belly, condom broke? Already paid 1.2million for the new place. Regardless, she now lives there.

Paid house stuff including couch, matrass, curtains, everything easily another 700k.

Bought babyclothe, crib, cot, wardrobe, easily 600k.

Financial no problem for her as you can see.

Anyway she complain she is not a full woman yet because I didn't pay her bride price. I ask her go check what is bride price, I am not igbo, am from ghana and don't want to travel to her village. She say no problem, I can go myself and do through phonecall... oke nice and easy, what a nice tradition. I ask what number do they ask you think, she say 1.5 million, I say jesus? for also the list? She say no, just my bride price. I say are you daughter of chief abi? No she is not.

When I met her, nobody taking care of her, parents die, no virgin, didn't finish school, no job, shop isn't doing good. I ask did your daddy pay bride price to your mummy, no paid. I say in my village you are considered bastard, she say no bastards in igboland.

Why she say 1.5 million for just bride price. I am offended, I am a fool but not a cash cow. She has nothing special to offer except for her love and my child. And her family never take care of her.

So my four question:
- Am I fool to want to continue with this woman? I do like her and she is very sweet and caring.
- Am I in position to demand her family members to wake up and lower their demands, expecially seeing how I already take care of her housing / feeding etc. Possibly asking their representative to come to Lagos, I don't have family members to negotiate in my behalf.
- As you can see am already preparing to take responsibility for my child, if I don't come to agreement, can I take full custody of the child as not nigerian? Am afraid she will go and carry pikin to village.
- Am I rude and wrong?

Am meeting family lawyer next week for questions regarding common law, but I want to see what customary law will say. Anyway thanks for reading my rant and sorry for taking your time.

She is obviously exploiting you, nobody demands such as a bride price. Yes, the list of items may come upto even more than that sometimes, but not bride price.

Are you marrying her out of love or duty?

I don’t see why she has to go about asking questions for you to marry her. If you want to marry her make the moves yourself, otherwise take care of your child, but know that the child belongs to her family, not you.


This is why I say women should not get pregnant out of wedlock, it never works out. Except of course you can cater of the child yourself!
Family / Re: How Can Husband Be AA And Wife Is AS, And Baby Is SS? by UjuJoan2: 6:20pm On Dec 31, 2023
bentenny:
The interesting part is if the woman was not sure and may have played away match,she would have confessed not knowing the baby wasn't even hers in the first place!
Promiscuous Ladies who intend getting married soon...a note of caution;
No fling before you get married
No last knacking with ex before you get married
Do not visit your ex to see him one more time before you get married
Bad guys....abeg leave the babe way wan go marry
No talk say make I use this last knacking as payback😄😄
If she say she wan just see you one last time,abeg tell her to go back to her soon to be hubby
And please,if a married ex calls you to just see for old time sake,abeg tell her to go back to her husband!

Or she could have just been grandstanding all along. Because I can’t imagine why she didn’t think to test if the child was hers when they found out it was not her husband’s. If truly she did not cheat, that would have been her first reaction.

But then again, people in shock rarely think straight!
Family / Re: How Can Husband Be AA And Wife Is AS, And Baby Is SS? by UjuJoan2: 6:18pm On Dec 31, 2023
adesegun121:
Husband is AA, wife is AS. 3 months after they had their first child, they found out their daughter was SS.

At first, it appeared like a joke, a very bad one. Medically, that isn’t or shouldn’t be possible. They conducted the genotype test in four medical labs, and the result came out the same.

Husband and wife decided to have their genotype test again. Results were the same.

Then it became clear what was happening. Husband ain’t the father of the baby. He secretly had a DNA test and it was confirmed he didn’t father the baby.

Amidst the confusion, he asked his wife if he fathered the baby. Wife wouldn’t confess. She insisted he fathered the baby. It’s just obvious that whoever fathered the baby is AS which resulted in the baby’s SS.

They went for a paternity test and it was glaring husband ain’t the baby’s dad. Wife still insisting she didn’t get impregnated externally. She went ahead to do another DNA. Result was the same.

Wife became a shadow of herself. Husband got crazy. Their home became a “once upon a time.”

Wife kept researching how possible it was that her husband didn’t father her baby and the baby’s genotype is SS.

Then she told a friend of the whole matter. Her friend just felt she’s using female’s antics. “Take responsibility,” she was told. She kept swearing and swearing. Her friend told me of the whole drama.

I kept thinking about how this would be possible. Medically, it was impossible for AA to birth SS. Coupled with the DNA results, it was glaring. But wife claiming innocence and swearing on her life was a whole different thing.

I thought of what could have been. Then I arrived at a conclusion: if wife is innocent, then she’s not the mother of the child. I immediately called my friend that I’ve found a possible solution. MNA (maternity test) to the rescue.

They went for an MNA, and test revealed she’s not the mother of the baby. Babies were changed at birth. Long story cut short, they involved the police and investigations were carried out.

Multiple tests done “here and there.” They got their own baby back – AS. They returned the supposed baby. Hospital was sued for the negligence and trauma.

Wife was so displeased her husband didn’t trust her. They settled and made up. They just had their second baby – a boy. Husband stayed with wife in labor room and monitored everything. Once bitten, twice shy.

At times, so called paternity fraud is change of babies at the hospital.

SOLUTION TO THE ABOVE PROBLEMS:

1. Advise your male children, to stay with their wives in the Labour wards, as their wives are delivering.

2. Advise your female children, to insist on their husbands staying in and remaining in the Labour ward, during child births.

The world of today, are full of people with evil intentions.

Together we can make the world a better place

Source: https://gistmeloveblog.com/how-can-husband-be-aa-and-wife-is-as-and-baby-is-ss/



I’m just wondering why the wife did not think of finding a “maternity” test herself from the beginning. If it were me and the child ended up not being my husband’s, I would know 100% that the child is not mine too.
Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 2:15pm On Dec 16, 2023
EleventhWeirdo:


Your own thinking is often off track. You need to understand that people have their sensitivities that they would like others to respect. Call it weakness or whatever. If the guy doesn't want his mom referenced or used as a topic during a discord, why can't the wife respect that? The only problem would be if the man does that to others' moms but doesn't tolerate that. Being spouses doesn't mean you have the right to every bit of my existence. No, marraige itself is contractual and dealings in it must be consensual!

The same way he doesn’t want his mum mentioned is the same his wife doesn’t want to be owed. Being a spouse doesn’t give you the right to hold onto her money and refuse to pay back, therefore destroying whatever plans she must have had for the money.

Person Dey owe money, come dey grandstand on-top. This is actually ridiculous!!

2 Likes

Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 2:11pm On Dec 16, 2023
FRANCISTOWN:

I'm talking about my wife, not your wife.
Your wife can say whatever she likes to you, or your relatives. That's your cup of tea and it has nothing to do with me.
What I know is, ain't no wife of mine gon' speak to my relative disrespectfully. That's not my world.

Then divorce her and go and marry another woman and this matter will be resolved!!!

Simple!!!

2 Likes

Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 2:10pm On Dec 16, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Clearly, from your misuse and misapplication of the word, you don't understand what Tolerance is about, do you? undecided


2. Respecting other people's right to religion does not mean you equally respect their deification of other humans. For instance, I respect a Christian but I do not consider their gods of men gods at all as openly express my disdain for the lies and deceit that they are full of. undecided

You can't go around forcing your private deities on others expecting them to equally worship your gods. That is not tolerance or respect but lunacy! undecided

I don’t think Nigerians can quite comprehend this concept. For all our big talks we are one of the least accommodating people as a nation.

1 Like

Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 2:05pm On Dec 16, 2023
Acidosis:
When a woman says "had it been it was your mom", "had it been it was your sister", "had it been...", bla bla bla, trust me, she already resents your family.

You don't have to believe me. Just wait for the signs. Don't just demand an apology. An apology would not fix resentment. You have a bigger problem on your hands if you don't handle this carefully and with maturity.


Even if that were true, women don’t just start resenting their husbands family for no reason. Something must have led to it. With this OP’s utterances it’s clear that he has always belittled his wife in her own home over his family.

Men forget that the home belongs to the women too, first before any of their family members. Your parents and siblings come first in their own home, not in the home you share with your wife.

If you push a woman to the wall, she will push back.

If I go to my husband’s family home I’m a guest there. I don’t even go untill the mother gives me permission to. And even then, I’m restricted to areas of the house. That I don’t mind.

But in my own house, they are ones with the restrictions. You cannot come to my house and want to stamp authority just because I’m married to your brother. A house I will live in forever and raise my children. That will NEVER happen. And if my husband tries to support that, e go hear am.

Respect is reciprocal.

2 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 1:52pm On Dec 16, 2023
FRANCISTOWN:

School me brother.


So far so good. The OP hasn't said anywhere in his account that he insulted his wife. He simply borrowed some money from his wife(somethin I'd rather I die than doing) which he is in a bit of rack to pay back.

The wife being so unreasonable decided it was time to get her money not considering whether the husband got it or not.

In my own case.If anyone was being unreasonable then it should be the wife.

For the records. Women don't love and trust their husbands. Women are only with men for their own sake and not for their husbands sake.

I prefer to be feared than to be loved/trusted/respected

The way you are waving this money issue away as if it’s nothing. In the first place, why would he even borrow money from the wife and not pay back when he promised to? What if the wife already made plans with the money, and only gave it to him on the condition that he would return it when she needed it? Do you know how confusing and betraying it can be for her when he wouldn’t pay back? What if she never admitted to having the money and watch him suffer and go around begging people for money, just to avoid this exact situation? Would that have been better? Would that have made her a good wife?

Personally I never loan people money except I can forfeit that money, and that includes my husband. But I wasn’t that way before. I used to be so helpful and trusting until I realized that the people asking you for a loan don’t care about your own problems. One year I had to borrow to pay my rent because I loaned someone the money I saved you for rent and they wouldn’t pay back when the rent was due. Do you know how painful and hurtful that can be?

You are here acting like what the husband did is not worse than what she did. Of course a “good” wife should be able to make her needs secondary to her husband’s, and be respectful enough to know that she comes last in the pecking order of the family. Yes, she’s a slave naaa, she can’t have feelings or react when she’s hurt. She should bring her hard earned money when it’s needed, and shut up about it. Yea, right!!!

1 Like

Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 1:42pm On Dec 16, 2023
FRANCISTOWN:

All I'm saying is. If a woman's raised in a good home, and had imbibed virtues of wifehood from her mom.
She should understand that she should never place herself on the same level as her mother in-law.
I'd never put myself in the same note with my mother in-law. It's pretty disgraceful, I mean. She' been there since day one. No matter how good I am to my woman, she's still have secrets with her mom.
So this is not emotional blackmailing, this is pure truth.
You lot disrespect your husband a lot, and don't worry, your sons will suffer the same faith.
If you have some outstandings with your boss, and you hear he goes on to buy a new ride for himself. Will you ever go on to confront him or reference his mother? At least he is owing you too. You really can't do that

You women respect your bosses/pastors/imams/celebrities online more than y'all respect your husbands which is very wrong. I repeat again. Ain't no woman of mine gon' bring my relatives into our discussion.

Actually I can!

If my boss is owing me and goes on to buy himself a new Car without paying me, I will confront him. I have needs too. Why should my needs come second to his? If he is not owing me then I don’t care what he does. But he has a responsibility to pay me my money. If he doesn’t pay me, I’m the one doing him a favor and he has no right or basis for grandstanding.

In the same way, if you are owing your wife you are in the wrong. And every day it extends she has the right to react anyway she wants!!! You keep forgetting that you started this issue, you borrowed money from her and refused to pay back when due. What if she planned to use it to buy Xmas things for her own mother? And you are here grandstanding because she mentioned your mother? How do you think that makes her feel? Or are you forgetting that she is a human being too, with her own thoughts and feelings?

I agree that your mother is more important than your wife, but that is only to you, not to your wife. For your wife, her own mother comes first, then you, then your family. You cannot force her to take your mother the way you do, just because you married her. It just doesn’t work that way!!!!

Why don’t you borrow from your mum and pay your wife if your mum takes priority? You cannot be protecting her “by mouth”.

This wife that is nothing to you, and comes after every other important person in your life, is the one you are asking for money? And not even paying back!! If you took that loan from the bank or from lenders you know how much you would pay on interest, and everyday counts. She knew you had a mother, but she still gave you that money. She could have easily told you to got your mother or to lenders, but she made that sacrifice for you. And now you are not only refusing to pay back, you’re treating her like she is nothing. Someone that saved you from a tight situation. Who is being disrespectful here?

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Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 12:14am On Dec 16, 2023
Kobojunkie:
What is wrong with mentioning his mother?

If OP doesn't want his mother mentioned at all in his marriage then OP should cut his mom off completely so she holds no place at all in his life and his marriage. You can't make a god out of a human being, and cause that god to feature in the lives of others around you, while expecting them not to mention the place that god occupies. It doesn't work that way. undecided

All this “my mum is off limits . . . Yen yen yen” is just emotional blackmail. The real reason behind his outrage is that he knows she’s right, and she know she’s right, and OP has been exposed for the hypocrite he is.

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Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 11:30pm On Dec 15, 2023
FRANCISTOWN:

I don't understand. How is "[b]don't turn my mom into a play thing" [/b]tantamount to my wife being a slave?

I don't get.

If your husband is comfortable with you using his relatives as comparative adjectives. Then that's on your husband and you, and I totally respect how you run your marriage.

But as long as I'm concerned , I won't run my home like that

How is what she said turning your mum into a plaything? This is just emotional blackmail on your part? You are the judge, jury and executioner!!

You know she’s right, and that’s why you are really upset and picking quarell with what she said.

I see nothing insulting or belittling in what she said.

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Family / Re: My Wife Decide Not To Apologize For Offending Me by UjuJoan2: 7:30pm On Dec 15, 2023
FRANCISTOWN:

As long as I'm concerned. I feel like my relatives need to stay off my wife's mouth. They are not play things for wordplay.

She can possibly bring about her points without comparisons with my relatives.
It's even wrong for a wife to put herself on the same level with my mom. That's disrespectful.

My wife is my wife for as long as she wants to be my wife but my ma is my ma forever.No one compares sleep to death.

I see nothing wrong in what she said, especially if she’s right. All this grandstanding is unnecessary. She is your wife, not your slave.

If I were her I will apologize, but I will stand by what i said. Men don’t like to hear the truth, but they must. The same way you have a Mum, she also has one too. Your mum is not a GOD!

PS I am both a wife and a mother, so before you come for me know that I have a husband, I have children and I have a mother. So I can completely relate to this situation!

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