₦airaland Forum

manny4u:
Why stick around in a place you sensed you were not welcome
I've not been to my own blood brother's house for over two years now cos the last time I went there I felt unwelcome, that was the end for me.
My motto is love and visit only those who love and want you around.

genius43:
You didn't have to quote the full update

bodaola:
Who knows this Paul Cleverly ft Mr Spell Anything song titled "Buhari".

''Baindadandang! Buhari mana B O, E O, Emu Ai, Eni Aru, S I, G O, Enu Yu" that's what i was listening to while writing this pieces (lol).

 Guess what! I just won a football bet ticket of three hundred thousand naira. How happy i am. My brother i need to change my wardrope, dispose some cloths and look new and dapper to those new chicks in my area.

To my surprise, my ex girlfriend that broke up wuth me eight month ago, called me to congratulate me.

"congratulations ola on our winning ticket".

"Is your brain normal? What's " Our Ticket". You follow me book game? Please shift don't disturb me Moor!"

All this girls eeeh, kai! Small change that God helped me with to fix up my broke ass, devil still send you to come and collect it. It will not work! I swear kolewerk! Mtcheeew!

As i was saying, back to the real matter.

"I have not read the part one of ONE MINUTE MAN', step aside and don't waist my time (anger mode activated).

And you that is reading this now.... You have what... Shut up your dirty mouth and come outside for me joorh! (aggressive)

So me i will suffer and write book you will not read it. It's not me that you will kill... Kayode bring that Cain for me.........lol

That was how our primary school teachers do treat us that year. Making life frustrating to us, especially that Monday morning when you didn't summit you Maths assignment.... (Uncle Michael nah Ogun go kill you if you dey read this piece).

Moving forward, To read part one of ONE MINUTE MAN, click  here

          
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                           PART 2
          
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"Wait! So all the shout this girl was shouting was all heard by charity? No! maybe she just got back". i thought

"But she's drying the cloths she just finished washing. That means, she has been around for a while". I argued.

  "Charity howfar". i greeted.

And she responded without even looking up... "i dey o". Frowning.

Omo! Now i know say my matter don cast. 

The shame in me didn't allow me to have confidence in how i talked.

Imagine me. "You dey wash?" What a question.

Then i got a savage reply... "no, i dey cook". 

Lobatan! my matter don cast last last.

My reputation has been compromised. Hmmm!

"Shaaa, it has happened it has happened. Life goes on". I said to myself as i escorted the girl out of the gate to board a bike.

    After some days i started noticing something strange. Charity and my bae are now close friends unlike before that it's just greetings they owe each other.

Wait, let it not be what am thinking o. This one my girlfriend will come around and charity will also show up, and they will both start exchanging pleasantries.

To an extent that charity always bring up gist about guyz who do cheat on their girlfriend.

"If we ladies start doing our own now, they will want to die". She said as they both gist.

Then i was shocked, when my girlfriend said, "any day i will catch my boyfriend cheating, i will cut off his man hood"

Wait o!, I don't understand. My joystick? my trumpet? my ladies pet? my "what made me a ma?"

 See, boya is that day i will kill you. Oni fé té

   I was always scared of having issues with charity, becasue i no want make she open my nyash. If i wan vex i go use style laff... 
   
But wait. This days, something unusual is happening. Charity is always tasking me. Am seeing this as blackmailing.

Today, "ola abeg, give me Two Hundred Naira for your hand"... Well thats a small change shaaa... Its worth giving out.

Tomorrow, "ola abeg, give me 200naira for your hand".

Next tomorrow "ola abeg, give me 200naira for your hand"... 

"Charity do you want to kill me? What sef! I don't have! Did i open osusu with you!

Everytime ola abeg, give me 200naira for your hand", am i your boyfriend? You are a scammer! abi is it because you saw me the other day with... See, i don't want this to get messy, no just use that one dey do any how o... Make i no change am for you! Mtcheeeew!". I ranted at her.

Moving forward, that was how charity was using me as a source of buying handout. Thank God all the shit was over, i have finally cleared her doubts already. Now i can rest. 

"Charity If you like greet me, it's your own. And if you don't greet me. You are on your own." Fraudster!

    Its up to a week now that i had issues with charity. I was actually waiting anxiously to here from my girlfriend Funke about what charity might have told her.

But she's not even saying anything related to that at all or reacting strange the way girls do react whenever they hear the usual aproko about their boyfriend.

"Cheating naim be the usual aproko nah! 

Or, which guy can boast to me that he have never cheated on his girlfriend. Then thunder from above will now fire you.

 Let me not set some people's relationship on fire, i don't want things to get messy, before some girls will attract their boyfriends tonight. "so kunle after  all my efforts, all my twerkings to satisfy you, you still go out to cheat on me, haaa! I will chuk one of my finger in my nyash and swear for you" (sobbing)... I no talk anything o". (Lol)

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  I have been toasting kafaya since first semester, now this is second semester.

  "Kafaya what nah! Who's that stupid boy that's managing your local government and not letting you look at my side. Eeehn... Kafaya forget that guy, i love you. I don't think i can do without you. My heart is always craving for your love". I said in worried voice.

"Come under the tree let's have some shade". I added.

Then she followed me under the tree because the sun was too hot.

    When kafaya will respond, she said "ola don't tell me you don't have a girlfriend since all this while, throughout last semester, till now. Haabaa Ola, stop lying. And besides, i do see you around with that  girl in Business Department named funke or whatever".

 Aiye o!my matter don cast! No wonder this girl no wan gree since all this while.

"Ooh... Funke? (smiled)... Funke is just  my friend, she helps me on calculation related courses, you know she is in ND2 and am in ND1, she knows more better than i do. That was what brought us that close". I replied convincingly.

Omo see format! Guyz nah devil. God forgive your son for he does not know what he is doing...(winks)

  "But this one that kafaya is doing some background investigations about me, e be like say the baby don dey fall in love o". I thought.

(That mood when the Dj is playing Reminisce Wafe kulale yi).

   "Kafaya tell me something now. Just talk to me. Tell me your mind baby". I said in a romantic voice.

Then she sighed and replied " give me little time let me think about it".

Kafaya weyin you dey think. Nah assignment? Kai! Girls can too form.

Only guyz will understand, when a girl says let me think about it, to us it means "Yes in advance". She don gree for your mind, She just won stress me. Let it not be as if she is cheap. Be forming hard to get when my takute have trap your bush meat.

   We were already holding each other romantically, when i heard someone called my name right behind me.
"Olamide!" Said the Voice.

I then turn to see who was that.

Haaaa! Aiye mi temi  bami! It's Funke o!

Haaa! Matter Cast Big time...


.... To be continued.


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Please Leave A Comment.
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bodaola:
Please don't come to my Page and call me OP. Who is your OP. Elo si yaba kelo wa OP yin sibe.

Whenever i post my shit, Please you all should Call me by my Name Boda Ola. If not, all of us will open our nyash in this Nairaland. All of us will open our nyash.

When i say oshe! You say baddest!

Who can relate to this?

LawyerLomo:
[color=#000099][/color]

"*and rest in peace*"
I feel for the bereaved. LOL

purity23:
Sweetness happy birthday, wishing you all the good things in life.

Nemesis0147:
he insulted himself first by even passing a night in the uncle's house talk more of bringing a lady and you know very well that they don't want you around..
he even had to sleep outside no be say he no carry enough money....

LawyerLomo:

At what age is such drastic act happening?
I mean to an extent that your uncle's wife would raise her filty hand on you. so shocking!