Hi Guyz.

From the stable of BODA OLA WRITES i present to you
ONE MINUTE MAN.

A Romance Story Filled With Humor.

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Episode 1

Hi. I'm Olamide Akanbi. I don't have a nick. People call me by my name for many years. For many years! until one idiot friend of mine called me Bahubali one day and everybody started echoing it. (abeg dat one nah name?) I heard its a name of a movie.( who don watch dat film abeg. Hope say nah better film).

In my first year in the Federal Polytechnic Bida, Niger State, Nigeria.I dated a girl by name Funke Balogun. Susu was a pet name that i fondly call her. She is this Maltina Bottle kind of girl. You should know what i mean by that. For your mind now, my girlfriend short abi... E be like say your head dey touch...(lol)

Moving forward, my first year is school was fun shaa, i quickly had a huge community of friends because of the business i set up in school. I sell female shoes, female bags and slippers. With the nature of my business, i had a lot of girls around me, so i kpansh on a steady.( in your mind now, you will be like "dis one get sense? No level for you, i get sense full-time)

Girls in school are always tricky, once they use their tongue to lick your ear, my bro you are gone. You will spend all your school fee on them, even all your food stuffs. But dat trick no dey work for me shaa, if you like, Unclad put for bed, na you go lose last last. I make sure i don't fall a prey.

I stay off campus, because i can't imagine myself staying in a rickety room with about four to five fellows in each corner all in the name of staying in the hostel. No privacy at all. Someone cannot even have privacy to kpansh... Sorry, i wanted to say to read. (If you like, say is it kpansh this one come to do in school? my brother, that is also a priority because body no be firewood, bros i no be robot).

I rented a one room self contain apartment in a lodge close to the school called Chosen Lodge, what a wack name, sounds like a church name. On like some names of lodges like Instagram lodge, crystal palace, temple run, Washington D.c, and lot more. Don't mind the owner of the house, he is a member of The Lords Chosen Church. He wants to spoil the swag of the lodge so that girls will not come around to kpansh, so that they will feel the lodge is a house of God, so kpanshing there is like kpanshing in the church, , ntoooor, it didn't work for him because we are serving a living God. Girls trip in on a steady, especially those Mass Communication girls that will just want to see how fine your room is so that they will use you to crack joke when they are with their friends. Because we serve a living God that never sleep when it comes to our matter, they end up kpanshing without even drinking a bottle of Malt or a bottle of cocacola.

First semester was stressful for me as a newbie. It was so hectic and so frantic with the combination of school activities and business activities. I wasn't happy when i have to miss lectures to attend to business. Its compulsory i do, because that's where i hustle my daily bread and school fee and other bills like susu's hair, money for drinks and food for the random hungry girls that will come to kpansh, sorting those bastard lecturers that just want to feed their hungry family with your small change since i am not a girl that will give them London to kpansh and to God be the glory, we don't have any gay lecturer in my department the School of business administration and management, that will say he will want to apply Vaseline on his grandfather's anus to drill, i always cover my bombom with the blood of jesus.

They use to say birds of the same feathers, flocks together. I mingled with some Abuja based guyz, the likes of Abbey, Tobi and Tomi. (Awon eleyi le dobo ninu afefe. if you understand yoruba, you will understand what i mean by that. What i meant is, this guyz can kpansh in the air if that is what it takes.)
Moving forward, Abbey who's nickname was Tizzle, is just addicted to this kpansh matters. He got all the tricks it takes to get his prey down. Tricks like Organizing a Spinning Bottle game (Truth and Dare) within girls so as to get them down for kpanshing, Downloading movies on his laptop for girls to watch, doing assignment for girls and writing of Test, organizing house party with alcohol drinks, bursting of pimples for girls so he will look like a caring type, then aseyin wa aseyin bo, they will feel free around him and kpanshing occurs, and lot more. Abbey, you might coincidentally be reading this. If you like vex, just hang yourself because you are a brostitude!

Secondly Tobi, this one likes using bragging to get his prey down. He will be like..."Eeehm" last session, i was the Director of Social Activities in my Department". He was affiliated with a photo studio called I.Q studio, i can say the biggest and best studio in the whole of Niger State as a whole. With I.Q studio into his bio, he started kpanshing all the girls that comes and that will come to I.Q studio, bida branch to come and snap. This ones bad o. If you want your picture to be finer than Agbani Darego when tobi is with the camera, just give him London to kpansh. Mark this word today, he will settle down and work on your picture to the extent that you will want to print the picture on your T-shirts because of how beautiful it will be. Don't forget am talking to the ladies out there o, before some gay out there will start licking their lip and looking for the fasted drive to i.Q studio. My friend don't do gay, the only anus he has is used for shyt.

As we are saying, tobi has kpansh all the girls in the whole of computer science department. All these guyz, i wonder how dem no dey catch Gonorrhea. I no you guyz will say "what about me". No naaa!, you guyz forgot the name of my lodge quickly, Chosen Lodge nah. God is with us.

Tomi on the other side, as a self-proclaimed fine boy, uses his lies and scopes to get those prey. Eeeehn... 'Wayback in Abuja, we used to chill with the likes of Terry-G, Don Jazzy, Mi Abaga', even slimcase wey just blow yesterday. Tomi heaven is far from you, you better near God.

The most painful part of it is, those girls will still fall to his tricks. And after the Home and Away match, he will just forget about the bae. Tomi beru olorun! beru olorun. I can't count how many girls have cried to me that tomi is acting strange. At times i get angry at them and be like "Aunty shift from here, did he drinking Hypo? which one is tomi is acting strange? When they will be... be lying to you people, you will be smiling like roasted goat! Tell me what is the issue and stop using that statement 'he is acting strange'. One was like, seems tomi is no more interested in me again, please ola help me out. "I don't understand help me out. Let me now take over your local government? Let me be eating ajeku that tomi left behind abi. My sister, in our family we don't eat left over food. We eat the same time others are eating." She was like "no ola, that's not what i meant, i mean you should help me talk to him". Oh! Is that what you mean. No problem, i will talk to him. She started crying, saying "Ola is it a crime to be in love, ola is it a crime to love tomi? My heart is heavy". Please and please o! Masukun si mi lorun. Because when tomi is taking care of your local government, i was not there! Please don't cry here.
The point is, i don't know why they all see me as the good guy among my friends.

Thats true shaa, because my own matter no dey cast. But there is one Linda Ikeji in my compound that am always scared of. One Charity Jiya. I always check on her to make sure she is not around before bringing in any girl for infrastructural development. Because failure to do so, my matter go dey linda ikeji. Funny enough, she is the girlfriend of abbey, she strongly believes that birds of the same feather flocks together. So if am a brostitude, her boyfriend is also a brostitude. So i always make sure she never catch me on the act. (Did she caught me? No! there was no caught! Lol )

There is this day that i wasn't lucky. A very wrong day to be precised, i brought in one random girl for infrastructural development after confirming the absence of charity. She must have gone out for lectures, i told myself. So i brought in the girl's slippers and shot the door. Then i joyfully placed the girl on infrastructural scanning. No time to check time, we are already on duty. Suddenly something happened, i can see this was a wrong move. (Kini mogbe wale, eran abi eyan) if you see the how this girl was shouting like a Christmas goat... Shouting as if it was a rape... And there was no light for me to put on my sound system and play music on the max volume. "Shut uuuuuup! what is wrong with you! Am i raping you? What is yeeh! yeeh! that you are shouting. Is that how to moan! People hearing you now will think am raping you here! Please lay down and spread your legs well let's continue. Please change this tone, it not sweet at all. Just change it". So we continued.

I don't know maybe is the too much of cocacola drink i took the previous day! Someone cannot even last up to 30minute. Just 5minutes, have already cum. After all the graph that i plotted to get this girl. So i cannot make my ancestors proud. Aye mi temi bami. I caused all this, i could have drink garri. Because whenever i drink garri, i can last up to 2days.

Shaaa..mtcheeeew! i have lost this one. Wear your pant and Come and be going. At lease you have gain much today, you ate Ugbondu Restaurant's Rice of 300naira and One Cold Malt of 150naira, total sum of 450naira. Kuku take 50naira and take bike so i will know i have waisted 500naira today. That was what i was saying in my mind.

In her mind now, she will be saying "so this guy no get level" i think say him go even kpansh me till i faint. So all his muscles is just a waste". My sister, Yoruba used to say gidigba o shile kun, kokoro nikan lole shi. It's only a key that can open the door. Forget all the muscles, practice makes perfect. Had it been i took the Hausa's gburantashi, it could have been another story entirely. Just thank your God.

She took the 50naira, and i open the door and we both stepped out. To my surprise,
Ghen! Ghen!! Ghen!! charity was outside drying her clothes on the line. Lobatan! Eleribu limo yi sa! Kilon wa kiri!


Bahubali is in Trouble.

Episode 2. Soon Drop

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You are all invited.

Okk

bodaola:
SageMK ifex370 GrabHisBalls Fountainofyouth ibkayee blissgregory Zico5 Craziestgirl MJBOLT Charelsz Joromi12 nwanneni tolani91 Purplephoenix skubido stblessing YoungBruzzy greatme2good divinelypruned PrudySara Ann2012 mychiveous Keester24
You are all invited.

blissgregory:
Okk

Hope you enjoyed the piece.

Yes, i did

bodaola:

Hope you enjoyed the piece.

Yes, i did

bodaola:

Hope you enjoyed the piece.

Codalee:
Following already

Tnx bro

Awizdom:
Mheeeeeeen I can't wait .....let get dis party started

we party till mama call.

Nice story line, I believe you can do better. Try to give a clear description of events, for instance how your friend look like, their physique, skin colour, department etc. As of the ladies, what's their selling point or the machinery they possess.

Also, try to capitalize names.

Looking forward to more updates.

rattyo3:
Nice story line, I believe you can do better. Try to give a clear description of events, for instance how your friend look like, their physique, skin colour, department etc. As of the ladies, what's their selling point or the machinery they possess.

Also, try to capitalize names.

Looking forward to more updates.

Tnx alot. Will work on that. In my next post.

Ride on op... abeg mention me o

Good one op
Kwantinue

Codalee:
Ride on op... abeg mention me o

OK man. Cooking it up. I bet you will ask for more.

Blackween:
Good one op

Kwantinue

OK ma'am... Tnx

Op You Like Bleep o
Mention me abeg. I dey gbadun you. Abi you get the complete story make i pay to finish am?
Even if it PDF?

Lol... Don't worry. Am not done. Cooking.

Plz drop your comments and critics. They are highly needed.

Baba fire on! I familiar with this environment wey Yuu Dey describe Wella...No sha forget dem Akara joint for night ...Make the story bam

Phinity318:
Baba fire on! I familiar with this environment wey Yuu Dey describe Wella...No sha forget dem Akara joint for night ...Make the story bam

My brother.... You school for Bida ni?

bodaola:

My brother.... You school for Bida ni?

No sire, But I don waka naija koro wella, from the plantain joint in ikot Ekpene to the Santana joint in Benin to the Amala joint for st Mathias utako, Local Man don waka small man. Just carry go ...

Phinity318:

No sire, But I don waka naija koro wella, from the plantain joint in ikot Ekpene to the Santana joint in Benin to the Amala joint for st Mathias utako, Local Man don waka small man. Just carry go ...

Oyah nah bro... Will soon drop new update. Sure you gonna enjoy it.

bodaola:


Oyah nah bro... Will soon drop new update. Sure you gonna enjoy it.

Can’t wait

Am loving this. continue op

Boda Ola come and update plz.... I am loving this

Boda Ola... How can I get this book please. I need to read it. A friend told me about it.

UncleEnergy:
Boda Ola... How can I get this book please. I need to read it. A friend told me about it.

You want to scam the seller of the Book again? Thief!!!!

This is nice

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