₦airaland Forum

bigtt76:
Abi na those kind of arrangee wife?

No
It was a genuine relationship that lasted two years here before they moved. The lady and her family hid her long term fiance from my friend, he didn't know about the other guy till after they landed in 🇬🇧.

giselle237:
Okay if your friend wants to do reporting….

Report it to the Home Office under Fake Marriages on this Link: https://www.amsallegations.homeoffice.gov.uk/default.aspx/RenderForm/?F.Name=Lf62UB7cz4C

Please also Report it too your Immigration Enforcement Team in your area:
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/contact-details-for-immigration-compliance-and-enforcement-teams/contact-details-for-immigration-compliance-and-enforcement-teams
Also

https://www.gov.uk/visas-when-you-separate-or-divorce

Also report it too your Local MP ....
Then he needs to MOVE ON WITH HIS LIFE.

Thank you. Hopefully something good comes out

Lexusgs430:
The only justice he should be seeking........ Is called DIVORCE........

How can a divorce work in his favor? What about what the government can do. This is like a case of sham marriage which is illegal

Viruses:
Who is the dependant now and what type of visa. I don't want to make any assumptions.

My friend who brought the wife in is on a student visa, while the lady is on a dependent visa. It's over 6 months now that she ran away from their house and blocked my friend from contacting her.
Is there any justice that can still be served assuming she has left the dependent visa for say a tier 2

SPDAZZY:
If this is real, this is very cruel.

I think he should just start chasing his own sponsorship as soon as possible so he's no longer dependent on her. He can seek his justice best when he has his personal visa.

She is the dependent, not my friend

Hello everyone. Pls help my friend, he's been a victim of dependent visa in the UK.
He met the said wife few years ago and they developed genuine relationship leading to marriage. Unknown to him the lady only stayed in the relationship and pretended to be in love because she knew of his plans to travel abroad one day.
Her parents supported her in all of these and deceived the guy and his family with marriage, he found out the truth few months after they arrived here. He's been devastated and depressed a lot of times. He spent 80% of the money to get them here.
Aunty has ran away from home and changed number, she blocked him everywhere and keeps uploading nice pictures online.
Has anyone been in this situation or knows someone that has been? How can he get justice pls. He has all evidence that relationship was genuine.
I will be in the comments

MrBrownJay1:
sadly...these above choices are only due to YOUR OWN POOR CHOICES... if you were married and/or protected yourself when you were having sex for sport, then the above wouldnt have happened.

I get your point, but marriage doesn't cover women when it comes to abortion. A lot of married women that are especially financially dependent on their husbands still go through an abortion if he says he isn't ready.

I have examples of this kind of scenery around me very well, tho I won't like to go into details. The only difference between a married woman and single woman when it comes to abortion and single parenting is that, the married woman is still having the baby in her husband's house, and except they tell people about it nobody will know the child isn't wanted by both of them.

I know a woman that her husband refused to name their last born because she decided to keep the baby against the husband's wish. That's because she had an abortion earlier before the last born's pregnancy.

Marriage doesn't prevent women from abortion, it just creates a sort of security in case she decides to keep the baby anyway. I haven't heard or read about a married man that sent his wife packing because she kept a baby he isn't ready for. And that is a good thing for the woman.

Timoleon:
Abortion. It’s ok to feel guilty for it. But it’s better than bringing a child into this world to suffer.

Thanks. This is the only practical response I've seen.

Hi everyone
I have been on Twitter lately and it breaks my heart to see women getting bashed for either of the choices I have mentioned above.
Aside from promiscuity and using abortion at all time as the last resort to failed or unfailed contraception, there are a lot of women that have actually gotten pregnant for men they are in a relationship with and eventually left to handle the pregnancy on their own.

This doesn't leave married women out too(only that keeping the baby won't make then single mothers), I read how a lot of married women have gotten abortions because their husbands asked them to, or because he threatened not to be financially responsible for the baby when it's here.

As much as the crux of unprotected sex lies most with women, it takes two in reality to get pregnant. I have male relatives in their very late thirties that haven't gotten a woman pregnant before, because they try as much as possible to avoid a situation like that. A man that isn't ready to father a baby should at all times use a condom, it's unfair to leave a woman to decide the fate of what you both did.

A woman is shamed for having abortion(especially when she has no support from the responsible man), she is shamed for being a single mother too. This is something I can only imagine how difficult it would be, this will affect her career, her life choices, the chances of getting married in the future is reduced going by what I read online, the irresponsible man might show face 20 years later for reconciliation, the child will grow up and start looking for that father that never showed up. It's a lot of baggage.

Although I haven't been in a situation where I have to choose one of the two, but if I ever find myself in such situation, I think a one-time Abortion seems like the lesser of the two evils. I get to move on with my life and make better choices going forward.

As abortion no dey show for face, should a woman have a one-time abortion to prevent herself from future drama, or take responsibility(become a single mother) for actions of two people?

Y'all note that I said 'one-time Abortion' because this should never be a go to option for a failed contraceptive

.

Rafiquie:
There is more fear than love in your life.

How do you mean?

Octopusssy:
So late 20s is 'nearing menopause'?

These kids are ruining the forum

Don't mind him.

Starz825:
Your idea is great....
I share the same too...

But I hope you know there are consequences except if it's an open marriage agreement

Your hubby could be cheating on you....you could be cheating too....

Only if you don't care ....
long distance relationship have both the pretty side and ugly side ...m

My own idea is....I want to marry someone who will allow me see her only on weekends... even though we leave under the same roof, but different apartment....
I don't want to be *too used* to my spouse...
I hate *see finish* in marriage especially at the beginning of it....

All the girls have told about it, don't like the idea..

I just tire

Good enough, I am not a cheat. As long as I am with someone, I can't be with another person. I've never been with 2 men at a time.

SucideIsreal:
Am on this table as well, used to think I was wierd

It's good to know I'm not alone.

Kogbakogba:
You want your space at the same time you want children.

Yes, they don't have to always be with me, my husband and I can co parent successfully over long distance.

ednut1:
you can do what you want in Nigeria as long as you can feed yourself. All these societal talks is BS

I don't live in Nigeria.

Fisiryorh:
Sweetheart, could we take this up somewhere?...

That's if you ready to have Two daughters with a spacing of Five years in-between...

What you say?..

Two daughters? What if it turns out to be two sons? As much as I want to have kids, I am not gender specific. I don't want to set myself up for heatbreak.

browndre:
I will jump and pass this your desire cos only a virgin can have my children. Good luck.

did I ask to have your children? Goodluck with your heart desire.

Oluneutral:
Do you mind going polygamous, if need be?

Lol
I don't mind going polygamous if the decision will be solely based outside the influence of my family's opinion. I come from a polygamous family and my mum wouldn't have me date a single dad, not to talk of being a second wife. I can be a second wife of a rich, responsible man that way, he doesn't have to spend his entire time with me when he has obligations with his other wife.

Oluneutral:
What's your business with societal judgements.
Your own is knowing what you want and going for it. Is it not better than marrying today and divorcing after 2 weeks over irreconcilable differences.

Many are trapped in loveless and terribly problematic marriages today because of societal judgements. I'd rather have you judge me because of your joblessness than living in perpetual regrets and misery.

Be rest assured, you shall get your match, just give it time.

Thank you

DontBullshitMe:
Anonymous sperm donor.

I don't want this, I want my kids to know their father and have a relationship with him. The plan is to have my 2 kids for one man.

Oluneutral:
Since that's what you want, Give it more time, you will definitely get your match.

I hope I do. The society is judgemental

I've been a guest of the platform, I created this account to get the opinions of my people since I happen to be a Nigerian.


I am a lady in my late 20s and I have discovered over the years that although I love love and the idea of marriage, I believe the conventional typical marriage will not work for me.
I am a core introvert, I enjoy my space a lot and I loose so much of my energy spending a lot of time around people. When I was in uni years ago, I made sure I didn't enter a relationship with a guy in my school because I didn't want a boyfriend that will most likely always want to be in same space as me, or try to spend very much time together.
I enjoy long distance relationship, because it means I will not be seeing my patner at all times, I only enjoy little moments of companionship before I get tired of sharing the same space with my patner no matter how in love I am.

I have observed over the few years that the few guys I've been with are people that didn't live in same town as me, and when I tried dating men within close proximity, it always ends in complaints from them about how I don't miss them enough to come spend time.

I don't enjoy sleep-overs, although I've been compelled to do that on very few occasions(probably less than 4 times) I always can't wait to get back to my house, I have never spent more than one night at a stretch with any of my ex. I really do enjoy long video calls.

To be honest, I am also not a fan of sex, I could go months without it. I can't imagine being married and having to do that all the time with a sexually active man that I'll continually share my space with. The only time I feel the urge to do that is when I am on my ovulation period which is quite normal for most women. I am doing my japa masters degree and I tried to develop a relationship with someone I really love and attracted to, he is currently complaining about same thing my ex would complain about.

I could be married tomorrow if I want to as I have two men ready to do that with me, but I cannot lie to myself or the man that intends to marry me and have him live his life in misery. I love children and want to have my own kids.
My idea of marriage will be a marriage of convenience, where my husband and I do not necessarily have to live under the same roof for extended periods of time and we can co parent our kids on our own terms. This is the only way I can have a long lasting marriage if I am not deceiving myself. A long distance marriage, family vacations, have the privilege of being married and still be able to occupy my own personal space as much as I want. This can be reviewed as time goes on by the way.
I am not certain if I can meet a man that shares the same idealogy with me, I'll get married to him tomorrow

The only thing I'll regret not having by the time I'm 30 will be a child of my own, I carried a baby in church today and I wished it was mine. I have babysitted my nieces before and I enjoyed my time with them, kids brings me a lot of positive energy. I really don't mind having just 2 kids for a responsible adult man that isn't really interested in marriage as well.

It's not my fault, my marriage will fail if I try to practise it the typical way and it won't even be the fault of the man(if he is a good man).

Help me out guys, I am at a cross roads. Are there men that are open to long distance marriages? I'll be in the comment to reply as much as I can.

Mods pls help move to front page.