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With a population bursting at the seams for its small size and many more milling in from all nooks and crannies of Nigeria (and sometimes even from overseas) and none leaving, the over 20 million-populated city of Lagos no doubt offers a spectacle for understudy for a keen observer; not in the least the Omo EkoLawa (“We own Lagos city”) crowd.
The Omo Ekolawa mantra is one infamous trend that has characterised the city of Lagos from its inception till date. (Lol) Ok, not exactly sure of its origin, but I know that notorious line goes as far back as I can remember; 70’s, 80’s or perhaps the early 90’s. What does the origin matter though? Omo Ekolawa is still trending with its many tough tentacles deeply rooted in society!
If you’d just arrived in Lagos or still trying to understand the ways of the city, you’re a ‘Sesede (The Omo Ekolawa crowd’s native code for a JJC) and this article is for you.
The Omo Ekolawa are bold, loud, and street-smart; and they have different ways they quickly communicate to you they “own Lagos” (swagger, street slangs and authority – legal or illegal). They come in different shapes, sizes and ‘uniforms’ (lol), but for easier identification, I have categorised them into three groups: The natives, the government and the naturalised Lagosians.

The Natives
The Omo Ekolawa crowd of natives claim indigene-ship and everyone else as aliens to the city. So, they must assert their presence to ‘outsiders,’ who must recognise them accordingly, stand aside, and make way. It is the natives’ saying in a subtle but assertive voice: The land belongs to us. Our roots are here. We own the territory. This category includes:
Omo’nile: The term and group called Omo’nile have assumed the status of a phenomenon in Lagos and indicate that you must properly understand the terrain before coughing out money to acquire a piece of land and real estate in the city. Aside paying the land vendor, you may need to set aside unbudgeted money (in this city, you’ll need to make a budget for it) for the natives as the fear of Omo’nile is the beginning of wisdom in land deals in Lagos.
These aggressive band of land opportunists demand you recognise them as the original land owners’ and that you will have to additional pay them their own ‘’fees” before you commence physical possession of your legally purchased piece of land. But the deal isn’t over still; that is just for your land possession. There are different fees for different stages of developing your acquired piece of land or erecting a building on it. There are Omo’nile fees for when you’re laying the foundation, roofing your house and perhaps when renovating your building. And, oh, by the way, ‘Omo’nile’ literarily means ‘the land owners,’ even though legally that refers to the government.
Omo adugbo: It translates as ‘neighbourhood boys.’ These wild and unruly group could emerge from nowhere and in a twinkle form a rowdy and disordered group of town enforcers whenever they feel you’ve infringed on the right or interest of a member. They are the first to know when anything new or strange happens in a locality and will pounce on anyone who harasses residents of the area or disturbs the peace of the neighbourhood. They are such a closely-knit group that even when one of them commits a crime, they would shield him, turn the matter on its head and blame the innocent stranger instead or stop him from demanding his due or harassing their member.
Omo oni garage: It means ‘motor park (garage) boys.’ They are street urchins and claim lordship over every available space in a market square or central business district. They would create a parking lot where non originally exists (in front of other people’s residents or offices) and demand you pay parking toll for your vehicle, even without issuing a ticket or receipt as evidence of payment. You may need to develop a strong husky voice and intimidating demeanour (just like them) to get through this. It shows you are also an Omo Ekolawa (lol).
Agbero: This group is the perfect portrayal of the local Nigerian proverb; Monkey dey work; baboon dey chop! The Agbero is commonly agreed as a menace in Lagos, yet no one is really willing or seem to have the capacity to get rid of them. Not even the government or the police! Their faces are everywhere at the bus stations and motor parks, intimidating and harassing vehicles owners and drivers in their husky voices and faded clothes worn over muscular bodies. Their demand – and that is, every single day – is a litany of invented and ridiculous fees and dues before your vehicle is allowed to stop or leave the bus station.

If you’re boarding a commercial bus in Lagos, you’ll very likely hear them harassing the driver at the motor park, aggressively and impatiently demanding for absurd charges like “owo chairman” (chairman’s fee), “owo boys” (fee for the boys), “owo load” (loading fee), “owo aro” (morning fee), “owo aro” (afternoon fee), “owo ale” (evening fee). The lazy about the motor park, loaf around and harass other hardworking citizens to part with their hard-earned monies; yet the government seems to silently endorse their notorious activities as they shown little will to frontally take on the state-wide menace. So, if you are contemplating engaging in the transport business city, then you’d better be prepared for the Agbero.


The Government

The people in government know they have the power to make laws and believe they can change or modify them at will to suit their political aspiration or personal needs. They make the laws but act like they are above the law. For example, the government makes it illegal to paste posters indiscriminately on walls and public places and even set up enforcement agencies to arrest and fine defaulters. Yet, the ‘law’ appear not to apply to the government, particularly at election periods as the state is littered with posters of political public office holders seeking re-election and their challengers.

The Police: When you hear the line, Wetin you carry? It is a sarcastic reference to the police as this became their favourite refrain for their ‘stop-and-search’ operations (But don’t let them hear you). The problem isn’t necessarily their ubiquitous search posts, but their motives for doing so and the tone and manner they ask you, Wetin u carry? Rightly or wrongly, you get the signal that when stopping your vehicle on the road in Lagos city, the police officer is bent on fining you willy-nilly whether for a real or an imagined offence. So, to get through him, you just may have to do some appeasement by quietly slipping some Naira notes into his slightly stretched-out hands. Most Lagosians have learnt the tricks of the trade; there are no special ones though. You just need to understand the language codes and follow your peace-loving instinct. If in any more doubts, just ask any Omo Ekolawa Lagosian for other titbits.
Political Appointees and Top Secretariat Staff: These are the Tiwa n’tiwa (‘our very own’) of Lagos. They include the governor, his commissioners and heads of parastatals using their privilege connections to provide, through the back door, high-paying or high-benefit jobs for their spouses, friends, relatives, neighbours et cetera. They conduct government operations like it is a private family business, both at the secretariat and parastatals levels. My candid advice, vote wisely so that the taxes you pay in this city can at least count for something.
Tax Agencies: They are the collectors who raise funds for the government by imposing heavy and diverse forms of arbitrarily fixed tax on individuals and small scale businesses striving to survive while providing jobs for the good people of Lagos. They bombard our television sets with pictures of city developments, new road and bridges construction and then end the advertorial with the famous question: “Have you paid your tax?” The message often has an undertone of a warning of consequences for failure to pay your taxes.

The Naturalised Lagosian
These are people born and bred in Lagos. They work, live, went to school, trade and pay their taxes in Lagos. But no matter how long they have lived in the city and claim to be indigene-ship, the natives do not recognise these set of Lagos residents as Lagosians, even if the law does so.
Regardless of the view of the native and his own ethnic, language background or state of origin, the naturalised Lagosian believes he’s a true Lagosian as he (or she) has lived in the city all his life and has been acculturated in the Lagos way of life.
Alaba Traders: This is a generic name for big-time traders and business merchants, mostly dominated by the Igbos. They practically control the economy of the state and their population is big enough to cause pandemonium in the city of Lagos if they desire to do some mischief. They are a close knit and control the price of goods in Lagos.
But their large-scale businesses are tainted by the notoriety for mostly dealing in adulterated goods and pirated copies of art works. Again, here, the government will to counter these nefarious activities and traders seems to be weak at best. The government appears to have practically turned a blind eye or are simply bot bold enough to confront the problem.
Danfo Drivers: By their manner of driving on the road, the Danfo (Bus) drivers seem to scream on their lungs that they are above the traffic laws. They break traffic rules at will, drive against traffic and face oncoming vehicles, jerk and reverse dangerously at top speed, and their conductors hang onto moving buses; among other glaring daylight traffic offences. They believe they own Lagos and so drive roughly to drive home the message for those who are hard of hearing.
If they bash your vehicle, it is entirely your loss as they will never admit to being at fault. Thanks to the government, there are no working CCTV cameras to defend you. It’s simply your words against theirs. At best, you’ll get a 10-minute spotlight (even if it on road) as some absurd compensation watching a long stream of traffic-jam behind you as you throw tantrums with the scruffy and obstinate Danfo driver, who still will not get your car fixed after all the exhausting shouting match. Even when it is too obvious they are at fault to deny, you won’t shake a penny from them for the repairs as they will whine and beg and cry you a river.
Do the law enforcement agencies try to hem them in? It is difficult to give a categorical answer as once more the political is small. What is, however, certain is that at election periods like we are now, the Danfo drivers are often spared any punishment as collectively their votes count because of their high population.
Okada Riders: For some Lagosians, motorcycle (popularly called ‘Okada’) drivers are means of convenient and quick commuting between streets and towns; but to most residents of the city, the Okadas are a big nuisance.
Okada riders have a dare-devil attitude while driving on the roads and streets of Lagos, twirling round dangerous bends, wheezing past tight spots, blazing on in full speed and posing grave danger to their passengers, themselves, pedestrians and other road users and vehicles. Traffic laws are seemingly not meant for this group of road users too as they flout traffic rules with impunity, hazardously overtaking long vehicles and ignoring traffic lights.
The government is cautious with this group too because their population in the state is significant and their votes will count at elections. But because citizens’ complaints against them was loud and consistent, the government was forced to toe a middle point; the Okadas were banned from operating on major roads and streets. But after the clamour against them died down a little and people got distracted, the rules were relaxed and Okada riders were allowed to continue plying some routes, especially in the outskirts and suburban parts of the city. It is government’s perfect compromise to still get them to vote favourably for the ruling party in the state. I wonder if they will be banned again after the election.
Street Hawker/Traffic Vendor: They cluster at traffic jam spots and target the rush hours, whether in the morning or early evening, vending a variety of mobile goods from snacks to drinks and minor electronic and household products. They are very enterprising and know the nook and crannies of Lagos like the back of their palms even though they are not all of Lagos origin. But when buying goods in slow-moving traffic from a street vendor and you are not giving him the exact fee for your purchase, make sure you demand for your change before handing him the higher denomination with you.
If you are too ‘gentlemanly’ not to do so and the traffic light turns green, then you may as well kiss goodbye to your change or if the vendor is ‘generous’ enough to run after your bus to give it to you, it most likely would be torn or worn-out notes that you will never be able to spend elsewhere. In the alternative, beg for your driver’s indulgence to stop for you at the closest bust stop. If he is kind enough to oblige you, quickly alight and locate the traffic vendor for your right change. Never be taken in by the estimated age or look of innocence a street vendor; it’s mostly a mask.
Real Estate Fraudsters: Even if you’ve only spent a month in Lagos, you likely most likely have observed that Lagos is the signpost of property owners with public notices like ‘Caveat Emptor’ (Buyers Beware) and ‘Beware of 419, This Land Is Not for Sale.’ These are public signboards publicly announcing claim to particular properties and warning intending buyers not to part with their monies to land and property fraudsters parading as genuine real estate agent and land owners. Files on property, rent, and land frauds are stacked highest in Lagos courts.
Countless people have fallen victims with only tales of woes to tell of how they were duped of their hard-earned monies by thieves posing as genuine real estate agents. In this city, due diligence before payment is the beginning of wisdom in real estate transactions.

History’s most creative talents know the environment is key in inspiring great works and that occasionally they might need to go hibernate in some awe-provoking holidays spots to enflame their creative minds. Let’s take a tour of some of the unique holiday sites that’ll fire your own imagination too – starting from home….
Olumo Rock, Abeokuta
The ‘Olumo Rock’ defines the landscape of the bustling ancient city of Abeokuta. Literarily translated as ‘What God moulded,’ this natural wonder of giant boulders piled on top of one another like hand-made obelisks and slanting skyward gives you an awe-inspiring feeling of the supernatural presence of God, and lifts your creative spirit to the high heavens.
Now fitted with stairways and lamp posts that wrap round the rock right to its upper level, connecting one boulder to another and a covered veranda at the summit, Olumo Rock is an equivalent of a 17-storey building or a total of 412 steps. The tourist destination guarantees to energize your creative juices with soul-reviving fresh air and panoramic towers of elevator that offers a scenic view of the city.
Obudu Mountain Resort, Obudu
The Obudu Mountain Resort has never ceased to amaze visitors, inspiring them for repeated visits to inhale the soul-embalming feel its unique climate and wonder topography generates. The mountain’s plateau temperate climate and natural sculpted roads that snakes round the landscape in phenomenal picturesque beauty is sure to invoke divine inspirations to the creative mind to better practice their craft. Little wonder this premier holiday and tourist resort centre - about 332 kilometres drive from the charming city Calabar – has become some Mecca of some sort to recording artists to shoot inspirational videos for their songs. The Obudu Mountain Resort is the creator’s paradise; nature’s own gift to Nigeria.
St Petersburg’s Famous Literary Museums
Most famous Russian writers find their muse in the beautiful landscape of St Petersburg which is graciously dotted with literary museums. This includes the House of Pushkin (whose writing tackled the snobby superficiality of the St Petersburg wealthy) and the digs
of Dostoevsky, whose Crime and Punishment novel contrastingly focused on the city’s deprived. What better way to stimulate the gentle flames of literary genius than inspirational solitude in a city of literary museums and home to writing legends.


Gallery Chemould, Mumbai
The Gallery Chemould in Mumbai, India is one of many top tourist sites in the Bollywood capital that have long showcased top contemporary talents including the Progressive Arts Movement, which shaped modern Indian artistic identity.
The Gallery’s exotic collections of colourful artworks in Mumbai’s sizzling cultural scene is the perfect inspiration for budding talents to create their own cutting-edge art. Renowned writers like Salman Rushdie, whose classic, Midnight’s Children is partly set in the city, and gives credence to Mumbai’s strong literary tradition.
This definitely plays a key role in why India and Bollywood are the hub of the global movies industry today, churning out the highest volume of films for the viewing pleasure of its growing audience.

Vatnajökull glacier, Reykjavik (Iceland)
The dramatic landscape, unique culture and unpredictable weather conditions of Iceland, and in particular the tourist haven of the Vatnajökull glacier in the capital city, Reykjavik have helped cultivate an influential body of literature by authors from around the world. The magical Vatnajökull glacier, Europe’s largest ice cap, was a prime location for George RR Martin’s imagined world in the Game of Thrones.
Iceland has a higher percentage of writers in its population than any other country in the world, and the Vatnajökull glacier in its capital city, Reykvajik is at the heart of the inspiration the land evokes. Not unexpectedly, in 2011, Iceland’s capital Reykjavik became a Unesco City of Literature, continuing the country’s literary traditions with a growth of events, tours and sites that celebrate the nation’s love of storytelling.

Charles Dickens Museum, London
Who hasn’t read or heard about the classic novel, Oliver Twist, which has and continues to inspire not only writers but music artistes and other creative talents, generation after generation? So, how about visiting the Charles Dickens Museum in London for the right muse that can also propel you to legendary writer? The Charles Dickens Museum, which bewitches the tourist with an eclectic array of the works of classic and contemporary geniuses, is one of the city features that immortalises London in the eyes of writers as the holy pilgrimage for literary talents. While in London, you can also take a tour of the Sherlock Holmes’ fictional house at 221B Baker St, a museum to the sleuth nearby; and the Regent’s Park, which inspired Willkie Collins to write The Woman in White after witnessing a lady screaming from a balcony.

Edinburgh
Scotland’s capital city, Edinburgh has influenced most of its notable writers, significantly contributing to the country’s rich literary output. The ‘Writers Museum,’ off the Royal Mile, presents a personal side to the lives of Scotland’s authors, and includes exhibits like Robert Burns’ writing desk. When in the city, also take a tour of the bizarre ‘Surgeons’ Hall Museum’ and discover Arthur Conan Doyle’s inspiration for Sherlock Holmes, among other medical oddities.
San Francisco
City Lights Books in San Francisco is the writer’s hallow ground to set him a trance of celestial inspiration. Owned by onetime Beatnik Lawrence Ferlinghetti, City Lights published Allan Ginsberg’s then-radical Howl poem in 1956. Maybe you could get a glimpse of Ferlinghetti himself whilst browsing at City Lights Books. Also visit the Mission District for some moving murals and other San Francisco world-famous street art that resonates with its colourful past.