₦airaland Forum

God help our minds that have been so conditioned by society. The services of a maid will not come free o. And there are other adverse costs that hiring a maid might bring to the family, esp with regards to their effects on kids. Now, if his cutting tomatoes and vegetables would help avoid these costs and the man has the time, shouldnt he rather do it?

Op visits the couple so that "people" will not say... Then she assesses the home and concludes that they are trying to run their marriage like "the whiteman's" but should run it like an "african's."

Mindset. Mentality.

Please let's set ourselves free. People are first and foremost persons, individuals that are free to live their lives however they choose to. stop the narrowmindedness.

And with your mindset OP, isn't it a shame that the man left you, a woman on seat to get busy? Since women should be such workhorses, shouldn't you be in your own house, busy doing all the dirty work?

I kind of understand though, if you are not married. Reality will set in when you do - and this isnt said derogatorily.

.

HARDDON:
I do get ur drift n you r right.

Just a lil question:

Why do ladies see marriage as a trophy that once won, u need not luk after yourself again? U need not put up smart n sexy? N wear nice cologn?

U just eat n grow fat?
How can a mAn be walking with his own wify n she luks like his momma?

Truth be told, God has given ya'll d grace to bear kids, u just need to apply in lil wisdom to shed d fat .

I have seen women , working class, with 3 kids n guys still drool over them.

It's a shame, really. Not the women getting fat out of proportion, but guys drooling over beautiful working class women with three kids. Why? Because these are usually guys who would not take care of their own wives.

Biologically, yes, it isn't easy for most women to shed weight acquired in pregnancy. Some very determined ones are able to work it off and it's constant work. Not everyone is this way cos God created us differently. Whereas a few women do not add weight easily and the ignorant husband of the the other poor woman will compare his wife with the other. Yes, someone like me will even be grateful to add some weight, it will add to my beauty. So women who add weight in pregnancy need their husbands' understanding and support to shed it, not for the husband to jet out with the excuse that his wife is no longer taking care of herself.

Beyond her biological makeup is the stress the woman goes through. If you do not assist your wife how do you want her to cope? She takes care of God knows how many children, you, the house and is still expected to compare in looks with single ladies who have all the time to take care of themselves, who can decide to spend all their money on themselves to look good. Haba! Can a now married woman, wife and mother afford to do this - esp if she does not earn good income? And if the woman is unemployed, she is done for! Cos believe it, some husbands do not give even housewives any money for their care, housekeeping money is strictly for housekeeping, the woman must not divert any for her use! Yet, such husbands complain that their wives "smell of urine" and go complementing another man's wife who her husband is giving good support - trying to reap where they did not sow! May such husbands catch them and wipe their legs with cutlasses!

The number of hours a woman spends in the kitchen on a daily basis! Do men think that this was how their wives lived as a single girl before marriage? As a single girl, you get back from work and flop into bed. You get married and suddenly you cant do that anymore, the guy is asking you what's for dinner.

Guys, it's massive transformation and responsibility. I've seen various posts being passed around about how God created the femalefolk to be superwomen. Lies! It takes its toll! Maybe a few women think marriage is a trophy and stop taking care of themselves (I doubt this very much though) but for the majority of women that look worn out, that look like they just don't care, please check the underlying issue. Husbands, Please take care of your wives,
be a support to her and she will give you the surprise you desire.

DarkRebel101:
Roger that.



What bedevils this country is that many of her citizens are terribly blinded to a fault, and would never call a spade a spade, even when faced with circumstances that greatly warrant it.

The young lady asked that the truth be served hard and raw to her, and that was exactly what I did. She didn't ask that we be obsequious and tell her only what she wishes to hear.

I had her chastised - partly for thinking to KILL a child, and partly for making the same mistake twice, and then I proffered some words of encouragement, yet you say I am being too harsh?

I never passed judgement on her. What is wrong with you petty men?

My major gripe with this forum is that it brims with inferior minds who are very much slow on the uptake.



Both nuance and context are lost on you.

Why did God have to create stüpid people? He just had to ruin it, didn't he?

I wonder how the likes of Nikola Tesla and Leonardo Da Vinci survived a day around the simple-minded and unintelligent people in their time without going insane. Damn! Who said eugenics was evil?

I never criticised casual sex. What I did was criticise the OP for indulging in it with someone she wasn't certain to wed, especially since her first child was a result of something similar.

God! Stupidity is a curse!

You criticized the op for indulging in it with someone she wasn't certain to wed? With whom should she have indulged in CASUAL SEX, her fiancé? Obviously you don't know the meaning of the term. Lying, self-deceiving nitwit!

Sanchez01:
You're just TOO COLD! Haba! She made a mistake, fine. It is not in our place to play God over her at this point in her life. She was reckless, naughty, wayward, blah blah blah and all of that, does not mean you are better and does not make me better as well. You don't judge people when they're down. It's totally wrong. It's like beating a man who passed out.

@troubledheart, I have nothing new to say than to ask you to make haste on whatever decision you take at the end of the day. It is easier saying you give up your child for adoption when orphanages are filled with children, and we have also seen women who further dimmed their future just because the mouths to feed are much. We have scenarios of children who suffered through life to become great. Whatever path you tow in the end should be your decision and not someone else's. That way, you'd find fulfillment that you did right or otherwise.

Truth is, we all make mistakes at some point in our lives. Those who don't bring theirs to the fore would forever remain saints while those who feel burdened and troubled should be burned to the stakes. Just like a couple of persons suggested, if you are certain the man responsible won't see through with you, please don't usher the child in just so he or she questions his or her existence.

Mizmycoli, I understand your stand and as a pro-life, I understand how difficult it could be to 'murder' an innocent child. But then, it just could be a graver sin if at the end of the day she's left to to stare at the sun while fending for the children becomes a herculean task. I have witnessed a couple of this and I must admit that it is not a funny sight, not in the least of ways.

It might interest you to know that THE SAME critic of casual sex wrote the post quoted directly above yours.

See?

Sanchez01:
You're just TOO COLD! Haba! She made a mistake, fine. It is not in our place to play God over her at this point in her life. She was reckless, naughty, wayward, blah blah blah and all of that, does not mean you are better and does not make me better as well. You don't judge people when they're down. It's totally wrong. It's like beating a man who passed out.

@troubledheart, I have nothing new to say than to ask you to make haste on whatever decision you take at the end of the day. It is easier saying you give up your child for adoption when orphanages are filled with children, and we have also seen women who further dimmed their future just because the mouths to feed are much. We have scenarios of children who suffered through life to become great. Whatever path you tow in the end should be your decision and not someone else's. That way, you'd find fulfillment that you did right or otherwise.

Truth is, we all make mistakes at some point in our lives. Those who don't bring theirs to the fore would forever remain saints while those who feel burdened and troubled should be burned to the stakes. Just like a couple of persons suggested, if you are certain the man responsible won't see through with you, please don't usher the child in just so he or she questions his or her existence.

Mizmycoli, I understand your stand and as a pro-life, I understand how difficult it could be to 'murder' an innocent child. But then, it just could be a graver sin if at the end of the day she's left to to stare at the sun while fending for the children becomes a herculean task. I have witnessed a couple of this and I must admit that it is not a funny sight, not in the least of ways.

Hmmn, it might interest you to know that the same person wrote the post quoted directly above yours.

Queer?

DarkRebel101:


You wish to draw the ire out of me, but I refuse to be part of your ceremony of shame.

Were my WiFi not temporarily jammed, I shouldn't even be found post-trading with a dog's breath like you.

I should be ensconced on my two-seater like a couch potato, clenching a chilled can of Pepsi in my hand, streaming movies, gorging some fried meat, whilst ramming my vein-streaked cøck in and out of your sister's life-weathered mouth.

My Gf travelled to villa...can you arrange your sister for me? And no, not that pug-faced sister of yours whose left butt cheek is a colony of stretch marks. I want the dark-skinned, big-titted one with a spherical derrière.

Not to worry, I promise to be a complete gentleman when doing her from behind, lest I further sunder her already compromised anal dignity.

I'm glad this exchange took place, some Advisor!(Smh)

DarkRebel101:
I rebuke it, and send it back! Amen! Alleluia! Ni òrukó Jesu.

Are you a member of Mountain Of Fire, or Charismatic Renewal?

Since you typed such nice stuff in the first place, why send it back? Go check again , I modified the post for your benefit.

DarkRebel101:
At least you've tacitly confirmed your acute dyslexia. That's got to count for something.



You are a cretinous fücktard with the brainpower of an abortus.

You are Satan's gift to mankind - a constant reminder that Hell is real.

You are a boil on humanity's äss, a moonstruck analphabetic lunkhead, and if human stupidity were electricity, you house enough voltage to send Michael Faraday into an everlasting comatose.

In the days of Vlad III, retro-cranially inverted pillocks like you would have turbans nailed to your foreheads and your corpse fed to a conglomerate of pagan vultures.

The next time you try bandying words unnecessarily with me only to play victim afterwards, you would be impaled upon a bed of hypodermic needles while a blind nurse attends to your wounds, the last thing you'd see before you die would be the ghastly image of a tree trunk piercing your ill-used heart.

God's trousers! Here I was minding my own business and this sap-skulled dunce invaded my space, yammering some incoherent nonsense.

Scurry away, will you? Before I pick your liver with Longinus' Spear Of Destiny.

Back to Sender, Amen! Useless thing! Stupid, demented idiot.

DarkRebel101:
You oily piece of work!

What do you think we are? 12?

You say put off creating a second Nairaland account - a thought you say you've harboured for sometime, then all of a sudden you finally decided last night was the most auspicious hour to have the account created. Next time, ensure to paper over the cracks on the walls of your falsehood - even lizards dance within them.

You, mister, are a craven. You didn't intend on creating any account, and only did so because you do not wish to quote me with your main account.

I can hear all the red flags screaming foul play.
In fact, I suspect you are that dude you quoted to appraise – the one you claimed you'd give a million likes.

You can't guile me, especially not with this piss-poor performance bearing the hallmarks of a dilettante in the art of disguise and deception. You need lessons!



If there's nothing special about me, why then would you:

I.) Shirk from quoting me with your main account.

II.) Create a pseudo account in the dead of the night, then proceed to have me quoted with it in record speed.

Food for thought, innit?



The toxic drivel you upchuck competes with the foul stench of fecal matter wafting out of your hindquarters.



You say I'm not special, and yet you say you know me. How can you know someone you don't consider worth a thimbleful of your time?

Ah! And so the plot thickens...



I never claimed I was perfect, and I never impugned the OP for her lack of perfection.

Your dyslexia, acute paranoia, inferiority and persecution complex, is causing you to see skull and crossbones in what really is just a lanner falcon.



I've had bellyful of your idiocy, and I fear this is where the sun sets on our conversation.

Refrain from further darkening my doorsteps with your coward shadows.

No be small thing, so all this literature-in-English grammar is on me? I cant even torture myself reading it all - remember i am not intelligent.

Anyway, whether u believe me or not, you will be seeing a lot more of this moniker, it isn't a "one night stand". I am new in the family section, I don't know you from Adam, I don't know anybody yet please, so take your over bloated ego elsewhere. And I am not a man, please, thank you.

Life is waiting to teach you some sense, carry on.

Acidosis:
If you continue in this manner, you may end up raising more kids before marriage.

You need to raise a "no marriage, no sex policy". Learn from your mistake and grow.

Personally, I would not use my mouth to recommend abortion as that's clearly against my belief system but I believe you know the best thing for you. Do whatever will give you peace, but remember the aforementioned policy.

You're not a thief until you're caught in the act. A lot of people have had more s.ex than you've ever had, yet they've never conceived. At the end of the day, na who carry belle dey promiscuous.

A lot of men will run away from you when they discover that you've had two kids with different men, not minding the fact that the new lady they run to had dated at least 15 men in Uni, with 3 clean abortions. You cannot cover pregnancy with make-up and virginity cream so fight against 'mistakes', shine your eyes and be wise.

So true! I wish I could like your post a thousand times.

Yes, I created the account last night. It's my second, I had wanted to do it for some time and I just decided to get on with when I was about to comment on her post. Truth is we all have experiences that we keep private but that can benefit others. That's what this anonymous account is for.

There's nothing special about you, sorry. That you are the first person I addressed on my new account is just so because of your coldblooded nature.

I am not into name calling, so I will not address all of that rubbish in your post, but I am surprised you are a man cos you dont sound mannish at all. Go through her post again for answers to the question you asked cos I don't understand how you can be so selective in your reading.

You make a lot of assumptions in life and you are so dead wrong. However, I know people like you: you have a set of rules for others that don't apply to you. I am sure you are very far from the perfection you preach.I understand that God created all humans uniquely but the way some people turn out can just not stop shocking me! Clearly you don't know the meaning of constructive criticisms AT ALL. If you were to give destructive criticisms sir, what would it sound like?

DarkRebel101:
People weren't harsh in their criticism when she made the mistake the first time - that explains why she didn't learn from it. Handle a defaulter with kid gloves and he/she would most likely crawl back into the same pool of vomit.

Last time I checked, she clearly stated she wasn't here to cop a feel of our sympathies, but to have the truth meted out to her without the luxury of euphemisms.

If the truth is too harsh for you, or if it's making you thoroughly uncomfortable, you can always find the nearest wet transformer in your locale to go give a heartfelt Christmas hug.



Point out where she explicitly had that stated.

She had an intention of having a future with an ex-boyfriend that she cannot even confront with the news of her pregnancy. Splendid.



I am not your friend. Only those of high intellectual calibre get to have a spot in my social orbit, not slowpokes who cannot reason their way out of a paper bag.

All I dished to her were constructive criticisms. She after all asked for our input, and I, in turn gave her my piece of mind in all honesty. I wonder why I am being singled out here? Are you so sentimental that you cannot see beyond the wool covering your eyes?

Plans do not always work out—some founder, and some succeed. But that shouldn't deter people from making plans for the future.

She obviously was too cack-handed in the formulation of her plans—assuming she had any. And instead of saying it as it is, you choose to honey-coat the circumstances.



First off, morality is a sham, and I never called her immoral, only reckless and unwise.

Secondly, don't be stupid, will you?—that was a metaphor. I am male, and not female. Cucumbers and dildøs were only used to buttress the point I was making.

How is recognising and stating an axiom – that sex is an integral part of our human nature which cannot be ignored for very long – deprive me of your so-called moral right? Only God knows how this drifted to a lecture about morality.

Priggish changeling.



How was that a sneer? How was inquiring whether the man who fathered her first child is equally responsible for the second baby qualify as a jeer? Know this that you are a veritable simpletøn.

Of all the Nlanders, it was the most petty of the flock that decided to give me a mention on this topic. Ain't that a bïtch?



The same vermin who had the gumption to give me a TED lecture on morality so happens to be the same person advising a woman to MURDER her child in cold blood. Sweet.

What an irony!

I find it quite interesting that your account was created only last night, yet the first person you decided to quote happens to be me How convenient.

DarkRebel101:

I read every single letter you wrote. If you weren't screwing around, then tell me, signora - was it the Holy Spirit that had you impregnated? Ave Maria, Ora pro nobis!

There's no difference – at least to me – between screwing many people and screwing one person with whom you have no intention of having a future—they both fall under the category of casual sex.

Here's an excerpt from your initial post:

Are the wrong ones you speak of not those you've dated, and possibly had sexual relations with? How's that not screwing around?

That's unimportant anyway, the kernel of the issue here is your failure to learn from past experience by choosing time again to have sex with someone you hold no marital prospects for, while fully well that contraceptives are not fail-proof, and mishaps like condom leakages linger forebodingly in the north wind.

Yes, we must all have sex at some point, and it reaches a time when dildøs and cucumbers lose their appeal, but given your antecedents, one would expect that whoever you choose to torque beneath the bed sheets with should be one who's already a cinched deal—not someone you can't even bring yourself to inform of your pregnancy.

And I'm wagering your first child was fathered by a different man. No?

Admit it, you were reckless and didn't give your actions much thought.
But, it's inutile wailing over spilled milk, and it's time to move on.

And the only way moving on can be made possible is surely not by MURDERING an innocent soul, but by having the balls to deal with the mistakes you've made.

Humans are forever hard to understand! Why would someone with blood in his/her veins be this harsh? The OP did have the intention of having a future with the guy but she discovered too late that he didnt! Really friend, intentions are never a guarantee until you walk down the aisle, so if you must criticize, let it be for the fact that she engaged in sex outside wedlock at all, anyone with an 'intention' can suffer similar fate. Cinched deal my foot!

Then you go on to talk of dildøs and cucumbers and "we must all have sex at some point." Listen to yourself, what moral right have you to criticize this lady? You are doing the same thing but with an intention?

Hey, Troubledheart, did you hear her sneer that your first child was fathered by a different man? Truth is, the kind of people who tell you never to commit an abortion are usually the ones who jeer at single mothers, not to talk of a single mum with children from different fathers. Many are out to make it tough for you, believing you have made a mistake and should suffer for it. Yes, you made a mistake, you are already suffering and need not go headlong into self torturing. someone refused to marry you, you were not the one that bailed out of the relationship.

So please, go ahead and abort this pregnancy if you cannot handle it alone. You may let the guy know first, maybe something good could come out of that, but if he is not ready to marry you soon, let him forget it, otherwise you might still end up an unmarried mother to this child - and that is not what you want for yourself and for it. Go ahead and take control of your life girl.

I am married and have so far not experienced failure with contraception, maybe you could have been more careful. Gosh, I wish you would just find out you were wrong about the pregnancy. did you run proper tests? But all in all dear, I hope you are giving abstinence from sex until marriage serious consideration. It really is your best bet.

Kudos on your career and educational achievements, especially despite your challenges.