EfemenaXY:


Love you more dear!

Amen and happy new year to you and your loved ones too. You've been missed though. A lot.

Mindfulness:


If your hard punishment theory was working, people would not go in and out and in and out of jail. And if the death penalty was effective, people would not commit murder in countries where the death penalty has not been abolished yet but it is not so.

bennyrazz:
I can be over insensitive to nonsensical issues especially to people who will always repeat the same mistake. All what i have typed will help her not to get the third pregnancy before marriage. Its a lesson. If people around her had come hard on her when she had the first, she probably wouldnt have had this.

bennyrazz:
kudos for getting pregnant @op. At least you have so many people encouraging you to keep on spreading your legs and keep on getting pregnant. Kudos o @troubleheart

Mindfulness:


If your hard punishment theory was working, people would not go in and out and in and out of jail. And if the death penalty was effective, people would not commit murder in countries where the death penalty has not been abolished yet but it is not so.

bennyrazz:
I seriously don't know why you are changing the narrative. She got pregnant the first-time. Oh okay, its fine. it was a mistake but the second wasn't a mistake. she knows exactly what she is doing. The op had very easy labor and she had it easy when raising that one kid all by herself. So why not the second and why not the third? so many posters are encouraging her to keep on getting pregnant and raising children with no father figure, so @op, keep having sex, keep raising babies. it's the life you choose to live

ephi123:


Going by your suggestions, those "some" should have been aborted because in your opinion "most" kids from dysfunctional homes become rapists and criminals. I am simply pointing out that if we were to use your standards those "some" would not exist today.

Alondra:
Abortion is murder. Not giving a soul a chance to exist is pure wickedness. Every being deserves to live, She refused to learn with her first mistake, she should learn with her second

Incline:

You're comparing apples to oranges. Op needs to comprehend the gravity of her actions, we don't want her making the same mistake a third time. Her first child was with a man who didn't marry her, by her post this first child wasn't planned either. Now she's pregnant for another man who doesn't see a future with her either. She should work on her self esteem, stop sleeping with men who don't want a future with her. Opening your legs for a man don't mean he loves you, don't mean he's going to wife you up. Lots of men are going to welcome free pucci if they can get it but that doesn't mean they want to marry the girl.

EfemenaXY:


Oh really??

Trying to kick a horse when it's down with vile, degrading words is meant to be corrective action??

Oya clap for yourself.



...Kudos for getting pregnant and to keep spreading your legs open he says.

Did you comprehend any part of her write-up at all? Did you or did you not understand she was in a relationship and had taken precautions??

Why do you think she took precautions?


Do you understand the difference between being in a relationship vs having a fling??

Do you?

Voice2:
Yes, I created the account last night. It's my second, I had wanted to do it for some time and I just decided to get on with when I was about to comment on her post.

Truth is there are certain truths we need to state that are best said anonymously, that's what this account is for.
There's nothing special about you, sorry. That you are the first person I addressed on my new account is just so because of your coldblooded nature.

I am not into name calling, so I will not address all of that rubbish in your post, but I am surprised you are a man cos you dont sound mannish at all. Go through her post again for answers to the question you asked cos I don't understand how you can be so selective in your reading.
You make a lot of assumptions in life and you are so dead wrong.

However, I know people like you: you have a set of rules for others that don't apply to you.[/b]

I am sure you are very far from the perfection you preach.

[s]I understand that God created all humans uniquely but the way some people turn out can just not stop shocking me! Clearly you don't know the meaning of constructive criticisms AT ALL. If you were to give destructive criticisms sir, what would it sound like?[/s]

bennyrazz:
I seriously don't know why you are changing the narrative.

She got pregnant the first-time. Oh okay, its fine.

it was a mistake but the second wasn't a mistake. she knows exactly what she is doing.

The op had very easy labor and she had it easy when raising that one kid all by herself. So why not the second and why not the third?

so many posters are encouraging her to keep on getting pregnant and raising children with no father figure, so @op, keep having sex, keep raising babies. it's the life you choose to live

Mindfulness:


I have seen people quoting studies here numerous times, on very rare occasions these studies have been interpreted properly.

A home where a father figure is absent is not dysfunctional per se. A home can also be dysfunctional where both parents are present but one of them is a drug addict or violent.

The studies that you are quoting here define dysfunctional in much broader terms than you do.

Some single mothers have raised better children than two morons.

I am not propagating single motherhood but to say that a woman is unable to raise a child properly - let's say because her husband died from cancer or is a fallen soldier - is myopic and not true.

Mindfulness:


Thanks!

I had the family here for Christmas. You know how much work that is to have so many people in your house but today we are leaving to visit friends and will stay there for one night so I will be the guest and relax while they will be serving some delicious food. My friend is a very good cook, like Cococandy, so I cannot wait to get there. I need to pack a few things now and we are ready to go. Yay!

Mindfulness:


Nobody is encouraging her to keep getting pregnant out of wedlock. Nobody! It actually goes without saying. And she has admitted that she made mistakes. It's just that she has already punished herself enough so no need to keep punishing her more. Nobody feels the consequences of her actions more than she does.

I am simply of the opinion that constructive criticism (solution oriented) is way better than destructive criticism (putting somebody down who already is in a mess). She has a child to look after and is pregnant. Hurting her won't help anyone.

That's all.

bbmpin:
Agreed!

There is something called "planned parenthood" read about it, Having a child is a commitment to a cause

Social and Moral developments "require" both parents

The fact that "few" escape unscarred doesn't undermine the importance of "doing things the right way"

bennyrazz:
I did not comprehend any part of her story at all. She took precautions in the first relationship and she got pregnant, she took in the second and still got pregnant. She should have raised her precautions a little higher by going for female surgical sterilization but she didn't. But let me ask you a simple question, if the op was your daughter, what will you do?

EfemenaXY:


Lol!! Sounds like someone had fun.

Same thing here (run up to Christmas) but visited family on Boxing Day - so no cooking on that day.

I must say the hols are whizzing past though.

bennyrazz:
it seems you don't know people like op, after they have passed through the mess phase, they simply don't give a damn again.

My own criticism as been very constructive.

We beat a child with the right hand and draw the child back closer with the left hand.

baby124:
So many judgmental people here. I never have time for essays and dissecting words as I am really busy in real life. But even if OP keeps making the same mistakes in future, it is not your place to judge her. After all she didn't come here asking for money, only guidance. If she begged for money then by all means have a go. But this is a responsible young lady we are talking about here.

EfemenaXY:


The narrative isn't being changed.

You're uncomfortable with being forced to see your ideology isn't realistic.



What was fine about it?



How so? She got pregnant deliberately? Is that what you read? Despite everything she got going for her?

Why would you say she did it deliberately when she's been as clear as day about not wanting to tell the father so he doesn't assume she's trying to rope him into marriage??

Sorry I don't get what you're driving at here. If she did it deliberately, then she's got something to gain. So please, do tell us what she'll be gaining here as you seem to know so much about her.



What do you know about pregnancy and child rearing?? Have you ever been pregnant to assume labour was easy? Have you got any kids of your own??




Pls furnish us with the quotations of these many posters "encouraging her to keep getting pregnant and raising kids without a father figure"

And it's not your place to dictate whether or not she should have sex. How is that any concern of yours??

DarkRebel101:


You oily piece of work!

What do you think we are? 12?

You say put off creating a second Nairaland account - a thought you say you've harboured for sometime, then all of a sudden you finally decided last night was the most auspicious hour to have the account created. Next time, ensure to paper over the cracks on the walls of your falsehood - even lizards dance within them.

You, mister, are a craven. You didn't intend on creating any account, and only did so because you do not wish to quote me with your main account.

I can hear all the red flags screaming foul play.
In fact, I suspect you are that dude you quoted to appraise – the one you claimed you'd give a million likes.

You can't guile me, especially not with this piss-poor performance bearing the hallmarks of a dilettante in the art of disguise and deception. You need lessons!



If there's nothing special about me, why then would you:

I.) Shirk from quoting me with your main account.

II.) Create a pseudo account in the dead of the night, then proceed to have me quoted with it in record speed.

Food for thought, innit?



The toxic drivel you upchuck competes with the foul stench of fecal matter wafting out of your hindquarters.



You say I'm not special, and yet you say you know me. How can you know someone you don't consider worth a thimbleful of your time?

Ah! And so the plot thickens...



I never claimed I was perfect, and I never impugned the OP for her lack of perfection.

Your dyslexia, acute paranoia, inferiority and persecution complex, is causing you to see skull and crossbones in what really is just a lanner falcon.



I've had bellyful of your idiocy, and I fear this is where the sun sets on our conversation.

Refrain from further darkening my doorsteps with your coward shadows.

Mindfulness:


I had a lot of fun. It is good to have your loved ones around.

Am I the only person who misses work a little? I think it is weird but I do somehow in the first days of my holidays and at the end I do not want to return again.

troubledheart:


Saw him last on the 6th of December. Last period started 16th of November...
I called him this morning. His exacts words were so am going to be father very soon? I told him I don't want to keep it and he asked how old it is, told him I plan to do a scan later today to be certain. And he said OK, no problem, take care and ended the call.

Mindfulness:


Then your insults won't help either but if it makes you feel better, so be it.



What is constructive about it?



Same ol' story! On and on and on ...
Just because you keep repeating what you have been fed, doesn't make it any better.

bennyrazz:
there is really no need going back and forth with you on this issue. Your position has been stated clearly for everyone to see so there is really no need replying your queries. Have a wonderful day

Mindfulness:


No, I am not comparing apples to oranges. The same principle applies here. Do you really believe that she has not been castigated for having the first child out of wedlock? I am sure she has. Did it help? Obviously not.

I am sure she has not been careful enough with contraceptives - contrary to what she says because contraceptives are almost 100% if used properly - or maybe she has not been taught to apply them properly because I truly believe that a woman who does not want to become pregnant will not so we need to help her avoid such situations in the future rather than punish her for the sake of punishment or because we know no better.

Telling people not to have se.x is like telling someone not to sh.it. The urge is too strong and it is natural. How many of you here preaching abstinence, actually practice what they preach? Abeg!

She needs to find a solution now with that she can live and I am here to offer pragmatic solutions not some ideological nonsense based on misled emotions. Then we can talk about se.x education, which she urgently needs.

Mindfulness:




Telling people not to have se.x is like telling someone not to sh.it. The urge is too strong and it is natural. How many of you here preaching abstinence, actually practice what they preach? Abeg!

Voice2:

No be small thing, so all this literature-in-English grammar is on me? I cant even torture myself reading it all - remember i am not intelligent.

[s]Anyway, whether u believe me or not, you will be seeing a lot more of this moniker, it isn't a "one night stand". I am new in the family section, I don't know you from Adam, I don't know anybody yet please, so take your over bloated ego elsewhere. And I am not a man, please, thank you.

Life is waiting to teach you some sense, carry on.[/s]

Incline:


The foolish solution you're offering is for her to abort. I'm not against your choice or her choice to be having pre-marital sex but if she gets pregnant a third time, you're going to tell her to abort again. For how long is going to be aborting? My solution's for her to work on her selfesteem and lay off the sex, at least till she meets someone ready to walk her down the isle with her. Comparing se.x with shi--tting is sTTUPPID. Shi--tting's a necessity, something we need to be doing, plus its lack can cause death. Se.x isn't a necessity. It's not a necessity in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and its lack causes no death as in no one dies from abstaining. She's not a virgin anymore, I get, but she can still become celibate and wait for the right man, someone who's going to marry her instead of continuing to give her body to men who only want to hit and run. If you keep making the same mistake maybe it's time to do something different!! A buddy of mine got a chick pregnant 3 years ago, this was a chop and clean mouth situation. He didn't love her one bit but chick was too blinded too see it, he went to her anytime he wanted sex. He sees the kid and plays his duty as his father now but wants nothing to do with the chick. In fact, he has a fiancee now he's planning to marry next year. You ladies should be wiser.