malificent:
Pack up swimming trunks and take her to lekki

i live in lekki....i dont know what u mean

I have few best friends....and they r the best, one of them is coming to Lagos soon, she is living in america for the past 5 years, we are friends for almost ten years now, last year i went to visit her in LA and it was very cool, so now that she is coming to lagos with one of her friends please, I need help, wich nice places can i take to visit, night outing its easy but day time any museums, parks, history places (i came to live in lagos recently, thats why i dont know where to take her) please i want her to show her nigerian culture, any suggestions? thanks so much

Chidonc:

sorry ma , i didnt read that part, but i read the part of nagging.

Well it's only a dumb person will give his opinion without getting himself informed.

Chidonc:

you know that he is broke u still continued, all i see is just that you are capitalizin on is brokeness while he is capitalizin on ur finance.

When did I capitalized on his brokenness? What are you saying I'm saying that the money I borrowed him makes us argue, I'm not saying that we argue bcoz he his not buying me a car.... I still continued what?? I think you didn't read the story well.... Me that I'm trying to save the Relationship, and you are saying I'm capitalizing with his brokenness, what does that even mean?

bigcp:


ok I'm sorry...maybe I got it twisted...
just tk it easy...i believe u r a gud girl...which is very hrd 2 come by these days...
keep being u...i promise you'll be amazed...
peace out luv...

Thanks

danny34:





You are very funny.... You borrowed him money he has not been able to pay back, that is the subject of discussion... And he said he is fed up... Instead of asking how to get your money back, you are asking how to get him back...

I don't see him paying that money.... He said you can be together till he pays you.... Is that a compensation? Don't t think that dude wanna pay u...

Separate your money from relationship.... Get your money.... I'd he is fed up.. Move on

His family is selling a land, they are processing the papers and all, so she he gets his own share he will pay me back... I have been with him for 3 years and I know why he has not been able to pay... That's why i believe him

Chidonc:


what is ur definition of been broke, becos she borrowd him money now makes him broke, even if am the one, i will dumb the sorry ass of someone like you, 3yrs for her to change her ways ,she didnt, and when the guy decided to move on, u classified him broke and calm.

3 years to change what? I started complaining about the money this year, something he needed to give me back 2byears ago.... If you have a girlfriend that you know you have inconvenient her for two years, and you end up dumping her, that means you are mean, and heartless, and when a guy ask for money to his girl.... Yes he is broke, sorry to say, it's not a problem I don't love you less, but the truth is the truth

allobright17:

Welcome I'll keep in touch.

Hi Somethings has happened, I have seen him and spend time with him... We talk in a good way and we gist, but he doesn't come close to me... He agreed on hanging out this weekend too

Princedapace:


I'm serious

No cheating...very gentle

Instead of giving me advise of what can I do....

Princedapace:


Come make we date...

I don't cheat and I'm gentle

Cavenchy:


I guess you've made up your mind.

Best wishes.

Thanks...yes I think I'm ready for anything....

Cavenchy:
This sort of issue is one that requires your good sense of judgement. None of us know what sacrifice you made to lend him that money. A loan is a loan. It can be very frustrating when people who take loans don't pay back for any reason, and that's not because of the money itself but usually because people who offer loans have made plans for the cash before deciding to give it. We do not know if that money was meant for your school fees, or something very important to your future, so we can't say your reason for getting very frustrated was misplaced, and most people in this situation resort to nagging or even lose friendships. We should not forget the fact that some people are chronic debtors who have no idea how hard money is made and just have a natural tendency to not like to pay back what they owe especially if they have an entitlement mentality (Not saying this is the case in this situation but we cant rule it out either). Fighting or throwing vocal slurs on people is not civil and doesnt get you further, it only seems like you get further because you stir up something in them that make them want to get you off their back not cause they feel they sincerly owe you but cos they want to prove you are nuts and that they not as low as you claim. None of which would have happened if you just kept your money where it should have been-(with you) or had a back up plan to fill it up while its gone.

Now while I don't commend nagging as a way to resolve things cos it never works, I suggest the best way to get over the habit is to think deeply before doing things yourself in the future. Do not think too much of people or expect them to be perfect, especially if you are volatile. That way you don't get upset too often or enough to set you off on a verbal bang. As for the money, I suggest you start making plans to save and cover for the debt yourself, that money may never come back, but at least you have learnt to only sacrifice in the future what you can afford to lose (I'm not in anyway implying that you shouldn't make sacrifices), but when you make up your mind to give, have a backup plan for whatever you wanted that money for, just incase unforeseen circumstances lead to disappearance of the money that might be even beyond the debtor to abate.

As for getting back with your bf, it depends on what kind of guy he is. A loan is what it is - a loan. A man with honour would work hard to pay you the money and still stay, because if you made such a sacrifice 2 years ago to save his dad, you is a keeper. He wont be quick to forget that, unless of course he has an mentality, really sucks at redeeming debts, or is still with you cos he cant afford a better girl yet(doesnt mean you are worse, its based on what he thinks). Some people could be very nice but equally terrible when it comes to money. You should observe more about him as relates to debt, for example does he pay his rent when due? (that's if he lives in rented accomodation) or does he whine about the landlord when its time for him to pay. In this case, there is a difference between a man who has money to pay rent but thinks the Landlord ought to let him stay for free and a man who truly thinks the Landlord deserves to get paid but he only wishes he has more time to pay.

I hope you two work it out somehow as you claim to really love him, but you either have to accept his personality and learn how to deal with it proactively, than wait till the aftermath and nag about things he does you dont like. If you cant keep up with his personality and he cant keep up with yours,its only gonna cause more issues for you both in the future.

Thanks for understanding....he is a nice guy, he is patience and hard working.... His family is about to sell a land, once the land is sold and they share the money he will be able to give me back....they just started the process...he quit his old lifestyle when he asked me to be with him (player) . .. Like I just trust him! Am I crazy? He is mature and gives me this feeling of stability a woman likes... I can do anything I want and he will be waiting for me at home... He always trust me, of course I can't talk to other guys like that.... The money has really damage the relationship, that money he supposed to have give me back 2 years ago.... So wasn't easy, I could not travel to see my parents...and some other things...like business...i have not seen my parents for almost 4years. And my dad was also sick 2 years ago, but he survived, he still sick but he is at home. He always advise me, but at this point he is so serious that I'm wondering...this means that what I did doesn't mean anything to him... OK is fine, that means he is not for me,we spoke this morning he agreed on considering the relationship,am not begging anymore I have change, and I'm a nice girl too... So enough is enough, assuming I didn't give him anything it will be like her dad didn't survive becoz I didn't help him, or maybe there relationship will be OK...i don't know, I'm better though I'm not as sad as before becoz I know I did a mistake, but I also know I tried . Those sacrifices has been for 3 years... I have always have his back... And I'm pretty too so I don't know what is problem... Hahahaha thank you again for your understanding. He has been with girls in a better position than me... I have seen it, we were friends before lovers... he just tired of me, and my nagging and the money issue, according to him. but he also agreed to go to the movies this weekend so by god's grace the land will be sold, and maybe we can be friends at least

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Mayb he is tired of the Sex

I don't think so...

bigcp:


I guess u don't know why she lend him the money....
She said his dad was very ill...n was in d hospital..that was why he borrowed money frm her....And ge later ended of loosing him 2 d cold hands of death...yet she was busy b!tchin' arnlound abt d money she lended him...
Let's stop being biased at atimes n Call a spade a spade...if na d other way round nw...u girls go de say na d guy responsibility 2 tk care of her gf...so why can't she tk care if her man if she's got it....na wow 4 una ooo

Hold on, please don't disrespect me saying i was busy bitching OK? This situation as inconvenient me a lot so the only thing I could do is complain...i know is not the solution but I was fustraited, the dad died more than two years ago, so I didn't 'start bitching ' when the dad died... All that started this year.... Still supported him...sacrifice yourself for someone you love it's not easy.... But still I know if he has he will do the same. So he didn't expect not to have the money by now... Me too I didn't expect it, and that change a lot of plans in my life...

Tiffbuxas:
believe me you'll try but you won't change.... it's better said than done... I suggest you take time to work on itself before going back in a relationship if not its still gonna end up d same. had a similar experience with the poster above me, buh I didn't give her another chance, can't continue that cycle of hurting me and apologizing.

Why can't I change? I have change.... After what is happening to me.... I love him, he has changed me... Just that maybe is too late

pryme:


I broke up with her. she later called my sis, crying telling her to beg me on her behalf, she admitted her mistakes. my sis asked me to give her another chance.

then I called her, she asked for another chance that she wanted the relationship back. she asked me what I wanted, that she is willing to change.

Note: I would have broken up with her a long time ago, I was only considering the fact that she was there for me in time of difficulty, I endured a lot of things, there are thing she does and says that makes me feel she is taking me for granted. but there is a limit to what we can take, and that day she passed the limit.

since I loved her I gave her another chance.
but her old self still lingers.

that's why I doubt if you can really really change, cos when he gets to call you back, you might slowly revert to your old self.

I will not naw! I feel it, I'm done with that attitude....

I have change ....im serious I'm tired of being like this.... It brings me problems all the time.... Not only in my relationship in life in general...i want to be happy and stop making myself angry and others angry with that stupid attitude, doesn't lead me to anywhere and doesn't solve anything

Raine80:

Admit that you have been unkind to him , and you said things that hurt his feelings do not be defensive , no point saying sorry then tell him he owed you money that's why you acted the way you did. Apologise sincerely from the heart tell him you will give him time to think about what he said and if you are given a chance you will work on your issues ( and you have to work on your issues by the way no point saying it if you don't mean it.) And finally stop calling him all the time to beg just say the above once and let him think about it.
Wish you well.

Thank you so much

Raine80:

Hearing how he is not worth much even if you don't mean it , will affect his self esteem and his self worth. Even if he owes you money can he really pay you back at this moment in time? It's not about owing you money it's the principal and how you have gone about handling the situation. It's him you have to convince that you are worthy of another chance , not me . I am just an observer.

How can I convince him...?

pryme:


Gbam!!!
this, I have experienced.

And what happened?

Joe171:
It's a good thing you already know your fault, work on your flaws. You perhaps lack understanding and patience that's why you've been nagging about the money. You say you love him, show him!. If he's what you've said him to be then he will consider it.








Don't take any advice, just live your life.

Thank you so much.... I hope he consider it too, I'm trying small small....thanks

49cents:



I strongly recommend you read On Becoming by Toke Mankinwa.....


Love I not something to fight for....again a person who doesn't respect your humanity is not worthy of you



Marraige is for people with healthy self esteem else it can be hell

Are you joking? Im not married ooo, I don't wanna read that book.... The book sounds interesting....but no thou....but no I'm fine...i cant marry a guy I know he cheats...mistake number 1

allobright17:
I see nothing to make him quite a relationship of 3 yrs from what you just wrote,maybe he's trying to make you stop nagging,calm yourself and watch him for a while.don't just let go yet till final whistle.

Thank you

[quote author=kaboninc post=51509642]

I wish you the very best bae.... [/quote
Don't worry if he doesn't come back... We talk....

kaboninc:



Loool...your money or the relationship? Please clear me oh...


Me am not scared oh...just that I fear for my reaction oh...are you not scared that I might one day use a needle and thread on you........

I need a patient man that's why I love him... Let's see how it goes... Thanks a lot

kaboninc:


Babe, ayam not judging you my dear...ayam responding to you based on how you respond to me.

Ayam also not saying things you didn't say but what were inferred from your statement.

You didn't say it is his responsibility but you made it look like it is responsibility when you made comment about him not making it and you spending money to take care of yourself....

I am not even offended dear, but if I should be mad, it is because of the NAG...I did also say that we all NAG but have our various degrees.

Well, am happy that you have learnt your lesson but most importantly it is not about you learning not to NAG but learning to have an OPEN and FREE MIND! You must have expected a whole lot from him and from life but expectations...it is just what it is....expectations. Somethings you can control and some, you can't control. Just keep an open and free mind, free heart and a free soul, knowing that not all our wishes come through..

So I wish you success in finding another guy (like moi ), thats if in case you don't make up with him.

I think he may accept you (that's if he has no mosquitoes in his heart oh)...just keep the bad side and illuminate the good side...

As for the loan, well I hope he pays you! At least you can comman take me out

Thank you... I know I'm responsible of everything.... But it wasn't easy... If he doesn't want me FINE! I'll try my best if not my money back will help to go through this...
Like you? So you are not scared!!! Lol

chigoizie7:



Yeah, I understand ur plight.

It is not easy for him too.

I know u must have had his back, yes, but u don't throw it to his face too.

I am glad u have learnt ur lessons.



It will be so hard for him to look pass what has happened.

Either way, just make sure he forgives u for fuuucking up big time.


There is this thing with men and EGO, they don't joke with it, and once it is compromised? They walk and mostly, doesn't look back.







I will still suggest u move on.


I am only glad that u learnt the hard way, probably, ur next bf is gonna benefit from this lessons learnt.

One love dear.

OK.... Thank you

kaboninc:


Only that you want to keeeee my broder with ya mouth.

Lol. Now you've learnt your lesson. Ayam coming to respond to the earlier post oo

Oya naw!!!! Yes i have learned my lesson... Everything happens for a reason

wer111:


He makes me happy because he loves me, he toast me for 7 good month before I agreed, he was dating a girl... That leavening view park and has car for me, meanwhile I leave in the mainland and i don't have as much to offer, I just felt the love, I felt that he is ready with me, he is faithfullnhe is nice, he not outing person so we are always together, he always says I changed him, and he's thanks me for that.... That why I love him,

And stop saying what I didn't say, I don't need him to take me to mars.... I think you are very stingy... Lol

kaboninc:


You meant it is a responsibility naaa.....

Are you trying to say that all the 3 years you guys were together, he did not take you to Silverbird, or Tastee Fried or bought you one pata like that or ice cream or surprised you?

If he surprises you, he loves you and its one way of showing his affection and love towards you.

But in one breath, you said he truly loves you and makes you happy...

In another, you said he doesn't surprise you or takes you to Mars...and according to you, it is what a man should do it to make his woman happy...

So now, what are those things that he does that made you say he loves and makes you happy?

Today na today ohh...

He makes me happy because he loves me, he toast me for 7 good month before I agreed, he was dating a girl... That leavening view park and has car for me, meanwhile I leave in the mainland and i don't have as much to offer, I just felt the love, I felt that he is ready with me, he is faithfullnhe is nice, he not outing person so we are always together, he always says I changed him, and he's thanks me for that.... That why I love him,

escapefromusa:
.

Like I said OP, many guys are searching for strong and supportive women like you.

And, if your absolutely sure this is the man for you and you feel this way not justdeep down inside but ...deep down inside from a bright place, I am absolutely confident you can steer this ship through these hazardous times into calm waters.... I assure you, this relationship will be better for it.

Sometimes the woman has to be the strong for the couple.

Thank you so much, if he definitely gives me a chance, I'm not going to make same mistake

kaboninc:


Actions from a woman, don't get to us men as words do.

With words, with a NAGGING habit, you just destroy the man.

And he reacts by taking action.

That's why you hear of stories like....He killed his wife

OMG! Hahaha... OK now I know, thanks