₦airaland Forum

robosky02:
I've come to discover almost all the counties that tried to study Nigeria and plan to cage Osimhen omo na them dey collect pass.

As it stands even the once on the bench are more dangerous

Chukwueze, Onuachu Onyedika ect

Nigerians and chest beating... So a team shouldn't study their opponents in preparation to play them?

After all the chest beating, if you lose now, you'll start blaming the ref

Game set and match. Wirtz with liverpool's third goal

Liverpool through to the next round to face brighton

dominique:
If na against Arsenal now, dem go lock-up everywhere. Now against 3rd abi na 4th division, dem don dey open mouth dey chop goal. Congrats to Liverpool for winning the "we took points off Arsenal home and away" trophy 🏆. E fit be the only trophy una go lift this season

Liverpool are winning tonight, that's the most important thing. You can keep crying...

Trump will soon ban you lots from coming to the US

Very generous of the man... Nothing wrong here, as long as he's not forced or cajoled

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "You do? Then come give your Daddy a big hug!"

Q. What's the difference between a light bulb and a non-virgin?...

A. You can unscrew a light bulb

Na now game start... Let's see what the super eagles are made of

Growing up, I used to notice a phenomenon, and until recently, I never knew the actual reason behind it.

Sometimes, when I suddenly stare at a wall clock, the second hand seems to freeze for just slightly too long. It seems to stay there for an extra half-second. It’s almost as though time has temporarily frozen. I've experienced this too with digital clocks, where the ticking seconds seem to freeze.

This is a real illusion, known as chronostasis. When we make sudden eye movements (known as saccades), the information coming from our eyes is essentially ignored by our brain - we stop processing visual images. This is to prevent us from experiencing blurry vision that would likely give a constant state of nausea and disorientation. Once our saccade finishes, and we focus on the clock, a signal is sent to our brain which ends this suppression and resumes processing images like normal.

However, our brain realises that there has been a gap in perception, a period of time that seemingly went missing. And so we fill in this gap with the image that we focus on when the saccade ends - the clock. Our brain gives us false memory, making us believe we have been looking at the clock since the saccade began, not since it ended.

This is why, when we suddenly look around and aren’t processing any visual images, we don’t go temporarily blind. That gap in visual perception is simply substituted with the image of the clock. Of course, this explains our time-freezing illusion. Our brain makes us believe we have been looking at the clock for an extra half a second - the half a second when our eyes darted from what it was looking before to the clock.

This is a fascinating reminder of how powerful our brain really is - it manages to change our perception of time and practically modifies our memories.

Sources https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronostasis https://psychology.wikia.org/wiki/Chronostasis

A pastor found a Baboon that could talk. So he taught it how to sing, pray and preach. At one Sunday service, the pastor says to the congregation, “The Baboon is going to pray today”.

The Baboon sits still and the pastor repeats but the Baboon did not respond. After the service pastor asks. “Why didn’t you want to pray when I asked you to? Baboon says, “was it necessary to say baboon? You could have at least said, ‘Brother Bobby’.”

When you jump out of a plane and the parachute malfunctions, the good news is that you've got the rest of your life to fix it.

My girlfriend is always worried she doesn't have a hot and sexy body. As a good boyfriend, I told her one day she will have a smoking hot body.

She asked me how and when, and I promised her when she dies, I will make sure her body is cremated.

If you truly love someone, you won't break their hearts cos they only have one heart. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

The two sentences below have completely different meanings.

Sentence 1: Let's eat grandma

Sentence 2: Let's eat, grandma.

Moral, always remember your puntuation

My grandfather died peacefully sleeping. Nobody is happy cos all the passengers he was carrying when he fell asleep while driving died screaming.

My dad kicked the bucket yesterday. The last words he told me before kicking the bucket: 'son, want to see how far I can kick this bucket?'

I'm just glad he didn't hurt his foot.

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume your parents started their new year with a bang.

Daughter: dad is the dna result out?

Father: I'm afraid it is.

Daughter: What did it say?

Father: Let's just say you should start calling me Mr John...

A couple was preparing to go out for an ocassion when the woman looks in the mirror.

I look fat, the woman said in a worrying tone.

The man, trying to cheer her up with a compliment replied: 'Well at least you've got good eye sight'.

Question: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time??

Two women are walking home from the bar, they both have to piss so they slip into a nearby cemetery. One uses her panties to wipe herself, and the other uses a card off a head stone.

Next night, the husbands meet at the bar, one looks at the other and says, "I'm gonna have to watch my wife, she came home with no panties last night."

The other one says, "Oh well, mine came home with a card wedged in her ass saying, 'You were loved and will be missed by the whole entire fire department.'"

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?

Doctor: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?

Doctor: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?

Doctor: No.

Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? Doctor: No.

Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

Doctor: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere...

seunmsg:
For a Man United supporter, you shouldn’t be having an opinion when Arsenal is playing. You guys haven’t earned the right to talk when title contenders are playing.

Arsenal have finished second the past three seasons... They arent title contenders, they are title pretenders.

crazygod:
Villa?
Liverpool has a higher chance of winning the league than Villa. Europe is about to resume. Watch Villa begin to crumble due to fatigue.

Dont be surprised if Arsenal finished second to Villa, same way they finished second to Leicester in 2016

Where are those Arsenal fans chest beatimg about Arsenal completing their revenge mission against Liverpool?

crazygod:
They have won the league boss. City is not serious this season.

It's like you don't kmow Arsenal very well... They will still bottle the league this season, it will start from today. If City dont win it, then Villa will.

Arsenal have been pathetic today. If they can't defeat an out of sorts Liverpool, then they don't deserve tp win the league.

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for s*x."

The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts" She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." "That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave.

Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it started!”