₦airaland Forum

YES @COOLGUYZ YOU GOT THE NUMBER 5 ANSWER RIGHT.


5. Answer: Roosters don't lay eggs. Ha ha!

@COOLGUYZ CONGRAT! OOO BUT NA ONLY ONE YOU GET

@ROMADE, YOU GOT THE ANSWERS AS BELOW,

1. Answer: Nothing!
2. Answer: The son had showed his father a match. Whenever he lit the match, it filled the entire room, yet it was still small enough to fit into his pocket.
3. YOU GOT NUMBER THREE WRONG!!!
4. Answer: a coffin/casket
5. Answer: Roosters don't lay eggs. Ha ha!

SO @ROMADE, YOU TRIED WITH THOSE ANSWERS. KEEP IT UP. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

what are you guys saying?

AND THIS ONES too

check out THIS PICTURES

[b]1, A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill" She ignores the remark.

A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well.

Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."


2. Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite.

One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open."

He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her in, he asked, "By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"

The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

3. After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."

"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"

"You did. All over his suit, " Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him," said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."


4. A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied. [/b]

[b]1. A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to UnCloth. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does he says to the woman: "Do you know what I`m doing ?"

"Yes," she says, "you`re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"Correct," says the doctor.

He then begins to handle her breasts. "Do you know what I`m doing now", he says.
"Yes," says the woman, "you`re checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"That`s right," replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to having sexual intercourse with her. "Do you know," he pants "what I`m doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You`re getting herpes."


2. guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

"Hi, is Tony home?"

"No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

"No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

3. Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly-wed couple wanted to join a church. The priest said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Priest."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the priest.

The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The middle-aged man replied, "The first week was not too bad.
The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yep we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the priest.

The priest then went to the newly-wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.
"What happened?" inquired the priest.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it" said the young man.
"When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" stated the priest.

"We know," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the Supermarket anymore either, "[/b]

HERE ARE NEW RIDDLES, START SENDING YOUR ANSWERS NOW!!!

[b]1. What is greater than God,
More evil than the devil?
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it, you die?

2. One day a father went to his three sons and told them that he would die soon and he needed to decide which one of them to give his property to. He decided to give them all a test. He said "Go to the market my sons and purchase something that is large enough to fill my bedroom, but small enough to fit in your pocket.From this I will decide who of you is the wisest and worthy enough to inherit my land." So they all went to the market and bought something that they thought would fill the room, yet was still small enough that they could fit into their pockets. Each son came back with a different item. The father told his sons to come into his bedroom one at a time and try to fill up his bedroom with whatever they had purchased. The first son came in and put some peices of cloth that he had bought and layed them end to end across the room, but it bearly covered any of the floor. Then the second son came in and layed some hay, that he had purchased, on the floor but there was only enough to cover half of the floor. The third son came in and showed his father what he had purchased and how it could fill the entire room yet still fit into his pocket. The father replied "You are truly the wisest of all and you shall recieve my property." What was it that the son had showed to his father?


3. Three men were traveling around the country. They stopped by in this one town and asked to spend the night at a hotel. The hotel manager charged them 27 dollars for a room that had three beds in it. So that means that each man payed 9 dollars. After they went to the room, the maneger thought he had charged them too much for the room so he decided that the room would cost 22 dollars. He called the bell boy over and gave him five one dollar bills, telling him to give it to the three men. On his way up to the room, the bell hoy realized that he wouldn't be able to split the money between the three men equally, so he stuffed two of the dollar bills into his own pocket. Now, if you're following me that means that each man payed 8 dollars for the room(becasue they got a dollar back). 8 x 3 is 24. The bell boy has two dollar bills in his own pocket(so you add 2 right!!!). That equals 26. What happened to the other dollar?

4. The maker makes "It" but doesn't want it.
The buyer buys "It" but doesn't use it.
The user uses "It" but doesn't know it.
What is "It?"


5. A rooster lays an egg on the roof of a barn. Each side of the roof has a 90 degree angle and windspeed is approxiamately 15 mph blowing in an eastern direction. The egg is layed at the front part of the roof, which has been caved in due to weather. Because of that part of the roof being caved in, it has a slight 45 degree angle to it, which is more than the rest of the roof. So, which side of the roof will the egg roll off of, the one with the eastern exposure, or the one with the western exposure?[/b]


Start sending in your answers now!!!!

i am sure you lost one of your shoes playing ma jong @ clem

lol assistance just like ben ;d

aight

help me tell am

he lives man

HE LIVES: WITHOUT A HOME, WITHOUT MONEY--->>> ABJECT POVERTY INCLUDED, WITHOUT FOOD, EVEN WITHOUR CLOTHES TO WEAR.



HUSH MAN TOO BAD FOR YOU, OR WHAT DO YOU THINK ROMADE?

NO BE ONLY BLACK AND WHITE NA GREEN AND RED.

JUST ASK MA ASS!!!!!

@SHANN

WHERE U DEY WHEN ALL THIS ONES DEY GO ON?

Moyola:
You really dun wana knw dhat, du yu? . . .

Me I dunt yab o! Gabry's got some xplanashun tu du

HMMMM I REALLY WANNA KNOW DAT.

WHO'S GOT THE EXPLANATION?

YOU OR SHANNON?

HMMM NAH,

I GAT NEW RIDDLES THAT I WOULD POSTE SOON!!

JUST WAIT AND SEE

Moyola:
Hehe! Gabry!

I GUESS YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

ARE U REALLY SEXY WHEN YOU YAB

aight

hmm if u think so

@DANI

NA YOU SABI!!!

DO WETIN DEY UR MIND

ASK

DANI OR MY ASS!!!

i guess u are too

nah still sleeping

aight now?

men u gotta understand man

YEAH MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM ABOUT THAT TO GRANT ME THE ACCESS TO USE MA CAPITAL LETTERS.

IF HE DIS AGREES JUST LET ME KNOW AND I WOULD STICK TO D RULE AIGHT?

yeah

meaning?

na lie jo

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM SO MUCH USED TO USING CAPITAL LETTERS, YOU HAVE TO BEAR WITH ME, AND IF YOU WOULD KEEP CHANGEN 'EM TO SMALL LETTERS FINE.

SORRY I CANNOT GO WITH THAT LAW, TRY AND UNERSTAND THAT