₦airaland Forum

Very Nonsense Post

I broke up with the guy I loved, the guy who I thought was to be my life partner.

He was there for me every up and every down. Every court date, every argument, every PTSD episode. Every nightmare, every panic attack, every everything.

I broke up with him, not because I didn't love him, but because he loved me more than I loved him, or so I thought.

I knew I loved him with every fiber of my being, but I thought I wasn't good enough for him. So, I spent a month figuring me out. Going to therapy, going to focus on getting better, on getting stable in my emotions. On settling into my new house, and raising my daughter. On managing bills and getting back into shape. I messaged him, just a couple weeks after the last time he said, "I love you." and I said, "I love you too, and I will figure me out for me. For us." and found out not only had he moved on, but he was in a relationship with another girl. I had waited a month to prove to him that I was happy, and healthy, and that I was stable enough to make us work, and in leaving him out of that process, he moved on. His new girlfriend and her daughter are probably amazing, amazing people. He always attracts the sweetest people, but I am incredibly jealous of her. I am incredibly jealous that he moved on so easily, and so happily. I am upset because I feel like he replaced me.

Want to know what? I allowed that to happen. I allowed him to be pushed out of my life, entirely of my own volition, and that was my choice. He was merely respecting my choice, and chose to move on. I cannot, and will not fault him for that. I will ALWAYS love that man. And I will always be just a call away from him, but it's like he said when we broke up... he left a bag of seashells on the bedside table and it said something about how the waves of life may push us back together one day, but today, today is not our day. And he's right.

But if you love her, and miss her, tell her. Don't try and force the issue if she doesn't want to hear it, but tell her. Otherwise, you will always, always regret not telling her. My ex knows I love him, and he knows I miss him. But I won't break up his relationship. I won't try and ruin them, or get close to him and make her uncomfortable. This is his life. My life is my life. He wouldn't do that to me, I won't do that to him. He's happy and that is genuinely what is important to me.

Smile, maybe if it doesn't work out, the universe is either telling you, "now is not the time." Or, "this too shall pass." Or it's the universe telling you that she's not the right one for you, and that too is okay. It hurts, and it sucks, but it will get better.

Love and light, dear.

In most friendships or relationships, you discover that there are always givers and receivers. Being a giver is amazing if done in moderation but can be disastrous if done overboard.

For a giver, saying no is seen as a taboo but sometimes, it is necessary to say No! Investing your time and effort into a relationship and bending backward to please the other party without getting any in return can be emotionally draining and quite unhealthy.

How do you know if you are the giver? I will reply that with some questions that can be indicators. Are you always the one initiating conversations with the other person? Are you more interested in others and their life more than they are with yours?

The best relationships are the ones that strike a balance between receiving and giving that no one can lay claim to either title. When you comfortably accept the role of being a giver, you will develop resentment because you will always be taken advantage of.

The beauty of relationships is the coming together of two people who are partners and will work as a team. It is the reciprocity of care, and when it is coming from one end alone, it means that you are probably just trying too much.

Stop overinvesting yourself in relationships where the other doesn’t bother; you just may give too much of yourself till there is nothing left to give.

The truth is there is a lot of reasons a girl could be ignoring you

Some girls don’t like to let a guy down. They get uncomfortable with the idea of rejecting a guy so; instead, they just ignore the advances. This is a perfect reason a girl may be ignoring you, and sometimes you only have to give up.

However, that’s not always the case. Some girls have no idea you’re even trying to get them. Some also just don’t pick up on the fact that you like them as more than a friend. They could only be under the impression that you just like them as a friend and that’s why they’re ignoring your advances..

080jbabe:
Interesting ma'am...i suggest you move on with your life before a heart break at 36 years old. Idont think your so called darling Dayo is serious with you. My 1 kobo contribution

Yea You Should Lock Ur Heart About Dayo & Move On Cos He is Just Playing You while The Fun Last...Just Move On Cos He Isn't Serious With You...Don't Let Ur Emotions Deceive You In This Case rather Fight Those Emotions.... If Things Is really Going On Right Between U & Dayo, You Won't Be Here Complaining So It's a very Clear Evidence For U to move on Without Looking Behind... It's True That You are Aging but Don't Allow it to Bother u that Much in other to avoid Falling a "Prey" For A Fool that You Might End up really regret @ Last....Fight Ur Emotions Really Hard Cos It's Never Easy..Find Happiness Within Ur Self & Just Believe That Someone That is really Proud Of Dating/Marring You will Come Around... Never Give Up Hope.

phemmyfour:
I mean 4-5 suitors. All of them can not be that bad

Yea Bro. You are right..

phemmyfour:
Sometimes its Karma. if you check history of such women, they once turned down men who were genuinely interested in them

Lols But There are people You can't Force Ur Self To Love...It Might Not Necessarily be Karma.

Best guess in a short answer, his actions. The actions a persons takes either directly or indirectly after said emotions felt is quite visible or even undetectable. However if you observe long enough, you would find small things he does when feeling emotions. For example, I produce quite a lot of saliva when turned on or seeing something that I find beautiful or erotic...Lols.

This in turns makes me swallow or “gulp”. Now if i had a observant girlfriend, which I don’t, she would of called my bluff a long time ago on some matters.

I am not a psychologist, although i want to be, and I am not a specialist. But this is just my observations I thought you would like.

Subliminal actions is also something to look at. Some people do not show anger as others, so for example, look what they do with their hands when they are angry or not angry. Simple explanation can be a balled fist to a more complicated explanation such as not doing anything with their hands. A good example from myself, is that I play with anything i can get my hands on when i am bored, reading, studying, sitting or relaxing, even annoying my peers. But when I am angry my hands are quiet, still and firmly placed on my lap.

Another way in determining his feelings is his tone of voice. The way his eyes move or even the way his body moves or positioned when he speaks.
Some Guys are simple persons but complicated. When the are angry, you know, when they are happy, you know. But when they are thinking, reading or just busy, you do not know. This is why I started to look at movements of their body and face..Hope This Helps For The Girls

EmpressT:
Yes..absolutely.. For now, i don't think I am ready to love again. I want to be healed emotionally.

It's Necessary Dear So That The Emotions Of Ur Past Love Won't Interfere In Ur Present Love Life & It Will Also Help You To Concentrate & Give Ur Best To Ur Present Partner......

EmpressT:
I have betrayed by some guy who I thought he was the one for me. And I don't know...

I Wish I Can Find Ur Type Of Girl And I Will Love Her Right....All Thou It will Be Hard For Her To Love Again

EmpressT:
It is funny but it is the truth. Why is it so hard to find a good guy in this century? when I love, i love for real. I hate it when i am being taken for granted when it comes to love, trust and loyalty.

Nothing Last Forever Dear...Just Build Happiness Within & Love Ur Self..Be Cool Things Will Surely Turn Around For Ur Good..

kepstone:
me I have done all this for my girl yet she chose to throw it away. no heart for love now.

Lols...U're not to be blamed Bro Cos U have tried ur best.. Surely someone that deserved ur Love must come ur way but don't take her for granted cos Love is in the Air and it's hard to find.

ogtavia:
The fact that a woman loves a man greatly doesn't mean her love will be returned in equal gesture...infact it's better you let a woman go when you don't love her as much as she loves you....love is better when it is deeply mutual...

Lols, No Body Will Love You As Much As You Love Them...One Party Must Love More Then The Other Reciprocates...

EmpressT:
Maybe, it is high time I became single for life.

Lols...It's Because You have not Found That Person That Can Make You Love Again but It's only if You can Open Ur heart For it...

AryEmber:
Reminds me of Bruno mars' When I Was Your Man.

Enlighten me on what the Song Says Baby...Lols

But instead of being honest, instead of being vulnerable and choosing, despite all doubt, to step forward, you ran in the other direction. You tucked your feelings deep inside and turned your face away. You poured yourself into other things, other people who weren’t nearly as ready to give you their all.

You walked away from a woman who cared for you. You traded something genuine for something that will never light a fire in your soul. You sought affection instead of passion, and found temporary instead of permanent.

She was ready to love you. She was open arms and a forgiving mind. She was kisses that tasted like home and hands that were ready to help build you into the man you were always capable of becoming—the man you’ve always been. She was tenderness in all the places that were bruised, kindness in every embrace, touch, and sentence.

She was fearless when it came to sharing her heart. And yet, you didn’t notice her value. You failed to see that what you two could have was something worth fighting for; you put down your sword and left her standing there alone.

You walked away from a woman who was ready to start something meaningful. Who was willing to stop running, stop searching, stop wishing for something perfect—because all she needed was right here. With you.

But you left.

And now you’ve lost out on late nights, arm-in-arm, staring at the stars and talking about dreams. You’ve lost lips that could softly press into every ache and teach you how it feels to be loved. You’ve lost a heart that was so willing to put the past behind and start a new with someone else. You’ve lost a body, a soul who was ready and willing to be your partner, your right-hand-woman, your best friend.

You lost what so many people spend their entire lives desperately searching for.

And hopefully, when you find a woman like that again, you won’t take her for granted this time. Because in a world of fleeting connections, you can’t afford to lose a love like hers. I am Touched By This Write Up..

orisa37:
Just mimick funny smiles in front of the Gal.

Even That It's never enough Cos You Must Make a Move and Voice Ur Mind out...

Nutase:
Continue waiting for who will keep you at ease. Don't go and learn how your mates do it.

Lols... I am not a Shy Shy Guy nah, Just wanna Know ur encounters With Shy Guys And How They Toast... Lols

Its hard to know but you could watch closely for signs.

Its very hard for a shy guy to come up to a girl and talk, it takes a lots of guts and courage and if one does be sure its more than flirting.

They don't flirt naturally, but their body language are very clear if you watch.

(All signs of nervousness)
They will be very nervous in your presence.
Talking un-related topics, just to get the conversation going.
No proper eye contact.
Holding onto something while talking.

The trick is to keep him/her in ease....Lols

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
You can impress with your intellect, fashion sense, funny nature.

Lols.. Let Me Just Believe It but I am Sure That Naija Babes Don't Fancy Guys Without Money....It Speaks A lot For Them...Lols

No really, go ahead and pinch yourself because the love you have been feeling, is actually real.

That guy that came into your life and reminded you why it never worked out years ago or why you were single for so many years on end now has come into your life and has shown you that true and genuine love is possible, no matter what age you may be.

But when love actually knocks at our door, we tend to want to push it away at times. We are in disbelief because it all can’t be real.
We find ourselves believing that what has come, what we have prayed for and yearned for will be taken away from us in an instance and everything that feels right must be some sick and twisted joke that the universe is playing on us.

But let me tell you right now, you deserve this love that has come to you.

You deserve it because you have fought for years to get the attention of men who don’t deserve the time of day.

You deserve it because you need someone who can see you cry yourself to sleep and fuss over all your flaws and still remind you that you matter, that you are loved, that you are beautiful in all of your imperfections.

You deserve someone who can understand that your major switches in moods are not intentional and that you sometimes go off without meaning it, because of the frustration you have for everything going wrong in your life.

You deserve someone who actually listens not for the intention of answering back so he can claim he has done his part in the relationship. You deserve someone who listens to understand who you are.

You deserve someone you can truly be yourself around because who wants to constantly put up a front?

You deserve someone who can teach you more about yourself than you thought was there in the first place. Someone who allows you to dig deep within your soul.

If your love looks like this, accept it and embrace it for the time being. Don’t reject it because you have been graced and blessed with a beautiful kind of love that is molding you into a better you and impacting you to become who you are destined to be.

Take the lessons along with the love and actually believe it. It came and you deserve it.

mhizenugu:
Oh really? I never knew.. since imma guy. And you're a girl?

Lols

CaptainJeffry:
The only reason a woman will be impressed without involving is by a good performance in za ozza room.

True Talk Shaa.. If You Can Perform Really Well...Lols

mhizenugu:
its simple, women love attention men love sexx. Give her your attention.. and watch her fall in your arms.. everything is not about money.

You Don't Know That Girls Love Sex More Than Guys Do, Just That They Love Controlling Their Sex Drive Unlike Guys..

NO !
They say Time =Money
If you don't ve money(assuming u r not working/may be studying) , you certainly have time(and the inclination to spend it)
So u r eventually spending on her, the time!
And trust me, that's equally(if not more) loved by girls !

I personally love attention over gifts !

Hollawaley:
try wearing sports pants.
it's gonna be tighter than a fish 's pussy.

U have to be wearing something very tight inside till u learn how to be controlling ur muscles..

A woman who is about to get married has cried out for help after discovering that her man loves s*x very much.
A Nigerian woman has cried out for help as her fiance with high s*x drive is about to put her in harms way after he subjected her to many rounds of s*x bouts leaving her seriously bruises.
She shared the story on Facebook:
"Friends, I have known a man for four years now, we have been talking on phone. My brothers friend precisely. So he proposed on phone and I accepted. He spoke to my mother and we fixed the date, his people came and paid my bride price money on January.
Please he came back for the first time last month for the traditional wedding with my two brothers. The date has been fixed last Saturday of this month but I mean worried cos he is a sex bastardized fellow. He can do three stretch once he starts, non stop. Even when I am shouting saying it is paining me ooo to his ears, he won't even listen till he cums. Just four days of staying with him, am already sitting on hot water. Please I'm scared ooo and how can I cope with this! If care is not taken, I will go buy sleeping pills for him so I can not be going through all these pains. What can She do?"

A Lady who is the third wife of her husband because her parents live in Ghana. The husband to her Sister has been harassing her sexually since last year, rough-handling her and grabbing sensitive parts of her body at every given opportunity. Two weeks ago, Her brother-in-law offered her N100,000 to sleep with him and she rejected it.

However, out of fear of being raped by him, Her friend advised her to reported at the police station. When they did so, Her friend was framed up for threat to life, allegedly asking for N12,000,000 with no evidence presented by her brother-in-law.

She spent a night behind the counter and was even berated by the police for intervening while they questioned her why she had to remain a virgin at 20! When her uncle whom she stays with was invited, he had to part with quite an amount to bail her and by the time she got back home, she met her luggage outside with the door firmly shut against her.

She’s an orphan but her uncle said he no longer wanted to have anything to do with her. Eventually, She discovered her brother-in-law settled the police with N250,000 while she has since been in trouble at home.

Believe me; the world is in total disarray. The average girl you see on the street is in serious trouble and not herself. Over time, Some are been bombarded with so many text messages from girls whose brothers-in-law want to sleep with them. And they are usually too scared to tell anyone because they don’t want to destroy their sisters’ marriage and because it They Might finally give in....

U're addicted to it because you re not having real sex to ur Satisfaction....

According to a majority of people,
They say that they don't mind letting an ex come through for their wedding.

You might say byebye to a relationship but remain friends with that partner.

You could also bid farewell to both the relationship and the person for good, depends on you and which of the choices you decide to exercise.

If you choose to be friends with an ex, will it be a kind of friendship where you only say hi and exchange compliments when you see them or one where you actively seek them out as close friends...
Will you remain tight with them to the point of inviting them to your wedding ceremony?

Should people ever be cool enough with exes to the point of doing this?

Guess you can say what’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander.

What If She Is Just Testing You Cos If What She Told You Happened For Real, It Should Be Her Top Secret..