In the last topics, we discuss about Communication.

When it comes to avoiding and resolving conflict, how effectively families communicate (both at times of peace and pressure) ultimately makes the difference in the strength and longevity of our families.

No one likes to be controlled for any reason and if a person feels that they are trapped within a family they may rebel in the form of withdrawing from activities, being lackadaisical, forgetting events and the like. That is the defense mechanism kicking in to combat the controlling issues from the partner.

If the family seems to be this way then you can bet that nothing positive will happen until communication is established and by talking with each other and coming out with it.

Building effective communication skills in our families starts with discovering the different temperaments that are involved. Your family may include a member who dislikes small talk and another who wants to talk everything out to its end. You may have a family member who is always in motion, moving from one unfinished task to another, while another needs to finish one task before moving on to the next on the list. Unless members with these opposite temperaments understand and respect each other, coming to solution may be just as much of a conflict as the issue itself.
The key lies in listening to each person from his or her own point-of-view. Each person brings to the table both a position on the issue at hand and a personal perception of the communication process. Understanding that these are sometimes mutually exclusive will help you break them into two distinct pieces in order to deal with them effectively.
Before tackling the issues, it may be helpful to do a reality check on your own point-of-view (as well as the points-of-view of other family members).

In times of conflict, out of esteem behaviors are common. Recognizing this will help identify the "people issues" involved in the larger problem at hand.

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First Start with routines: when you do the same thing over and over again, not only do you get really good at it, it becomes second nature. You can have several sets of routines for your entire day. Then Learn to say "NO": As women, we are people pleaser's and we don't like to upset others or feel like we have let
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Hi folks, being quite some time.

We are still in progress to our discussion on how to revive broken homes. We have shade some light on Understanding, and today we talk on controlling behavior.

Controlling behavior is one of the characteristics that a family may have that is doomed from the beginning. Why do people get into these situations and stay in them for any length of time? For starters if a person doesn't hold themselves very high in the self esteem department and another person pays attention to them then temporarily this person may need him or her. This type of behavior can escalate into many different forms of control both mental and physical.

No matter how you perceive it, controlling behavior is a sign of a controlling family that you need to be aware of and remedy it as soon as possible.

Resist to be controlled. This type of behavior is good because the person being controlled actually is psychologically fighting back resisting the controlling aspect of the situation. But they don't know how because there is no communication between the two people involved.

See u @ d top!!!

In continuation of how to revive broken home:

In todays post, we talk about Understanding.

Understanding in a family setting could be termed a mutual agreement. No matter what the longer you've been in together as a family, the harder it is to understand much less see what is happening and can be very tough to overcome. Being aware of your surroundings is the first form of self defense and you definitely need to be aware of these signs.

Both partners involved should be thoroughly familiar with each other.

In the next post, we continue with controlling behavior, and your comment is highly appreciated.

So many homes and families suffer and a lot of them fail in the longevity department because signs of controlling are not taken care of or just are not noticed. Why is that? This article will clear up some areas of our psyche means that might help explain the reasons that this happens.

These are the topics i will be sharing:

1. Understanding
2. Controlling behavior
3. Communication

Catch up with the full details in the next post,

We all know that not all parents are created equal. Some are good parents and some are bad parents. But good and bad parenting are results of both conscious and unconscious choices. Why so? That's because good parents made it their choice to learn beneficial ways and methods in parenting. Perhaps they have a good upbringing as well. However, does that mean bad parents are bad by their own choice? Nothing can be further from the truth. Bad parents do also feel that they can do better and often times, they too want to be loved and adored by their children. Often times, their inability to make the transition in becoming a better parent is because they feel overwhelmed by their personal situations.

One of the major things that cause bad parenting is bad parenting. I know that sounds a bit odd but read carefully. Imagine a child growing up in a poorly managed family. I don't mean poor as in destitute but as in poor methods of parenting. Their children will learn to become the parents they so despise. When they are young, they were already being programmed to become the parents they so dislike. Therefore, when they grow up, they too become the clone of their own parents. A total MIRROR IMAGE. Which is why, in some cases, breaking that mirror is simply a must.

Now how do you do that? Well, here are ways to go about breaking that mirror. This is best done before marriage and before deciding to have children. Always ask yourself first. What kind of parent do I want to be? What kind of a leader do I want to be for my child? Do I want him or her to go through some of the unpleasant circumstances I was born into? If I am my child, what kind of family do I want to be born into? With these questions, it will bring light to what sort of a parent you desire to become.

After knowing what you want, it is still impossible to break the mirror as you do not know how to do it. This is the time you consult your 6 best friends on earth. Namely: Why, Who, How, What, When and Where.

For example, if your situation is your own bad temper, then ask the following questions:

1) Why do I want to change and eliminate my bad temper?
2) Who do I seek help from to deal with my temper problems?
3) How can I get the most benefit from the people I seek help from?
4) What techniques should I apply to make myself calm down during a temper?
5) When to apply the best technique for temper control for the best results?
6) Where can I find more resources related to my problem?

With these 6 best friends by your side, you are on your way to breaking that old mirror image of the bad parenting traits your parents may have left in you. You will be able to break free from the ill effects of bad parenting and begin a good and happy family of your own. Of course, anything good requires effort for maintenance. Always remember, your journey to good parenting and break all mirrors will be life long and that you will need to always work closely with your 6 best friends from time to time. Good luck and may you be happy always!

Remember, Good Parenting is a choice.