₦airaland Forum

Wherefore art thou, lalasticlala?

And these....

More..

More

Ba3 is low.... Might stop anytime soon. But I'll be back later shaa

And diz

And these

I'll just leave these here

Mooooore

Moooore

Mooore

Moore

More

Just feel like dropping these here

emmasege:
Don't always jump into hasty conclusions. Your parents sent you to school so that you can read in between the lines. Dele Momodu hit the nail on the head and just spoke the minds of ordinary Nigerians. But I doubt if the man with ear defect will heed his advice, because "aja ti yo sonu ko ni gbo fere olode" i.e. a stray dog never hears the hunter's whistle.


My own response to Dele's issues. PMB has just successfully wasted one year in our national life & taken Nigeria many years back. By 2019, we may be competing for economic relevance in Africa with the likes of Benin Republic, Djibouti, Niger, D. R. C. & Chad Republic.

The next epistle of Dele (maybe this time next year) will be an open letter of apology to Nigerians for being part of the team that smuggled this fossilized president to Aso rock.

Zombies, over to you. You can now defend your client (PMB) because one of his senior advocates (Dele Momodu) seems to have joined the wailing prosecutors.

lobbish, read in between the lines my left butt-cheek. Whatever he says there doesn't change the fact that most Nigerians ain't voting for buhari come 2019. Whatever he says there(whether in president buhari's defense or offense) isn't anything hitherto unknown

Honestly, i didn't read the full epistle. We all know it contains the usual BS about how president Buhari is the saviour of the whole black race and how he doesn't have an A-hole.
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Basically, it's just damage control for their shortcomings

happy birthday man. wish you more ribcracking years of laughter, joy, happiness, and peace. stay safe

Berlyn:
op so wheres our 'gift'

lol, you don't get a gift for being dissed. If there's anyone i should be 'gifting', it's CAPSLOCKED

skarlett:
really funny


But smellymouth is still the funniest to me

i haven't seen anything from smelly mouth....but i might feature him in the June edition if i see any hilarious post from him before then...mention me when you see one, and maybe I'll compile a list

Most of my time on Nairaland is spent looking for hilarious posts and with the calibre of people on Nairaland, I'm never disappointed. for this month of may, I've never seen a post quite as hilarious as this.




the award for funniest post of may therefore goes to CAPSLOCKED. For his ingenuity in dissing two people at the same time- our very own lalasticlala and a certain berlyn.

Press Release
Our attention has been drawn to a news report published by various online media that the Federal High Court sitting in Lagos has authorised the Attorney-General of Federation (AGF) to commence the prosecution of a Lagos businessman, Innocent Chukwuma, his company, Innoson Nigeria Limited, and four others for alleged forgery. Ordinarily, we would not have dignified this news report with a response but in a nation where silence may be seen as an admission of guilt, we therefore come out to state the true position of things.
Although there is a charge pending against Innoson Nigeria Ltd, the charge is a trump up. To this end, the police have through its letter of 17th February 2016 discontinued the charge in order to further investigate the matter. Also, Director of Public Prosecution of the Federation through paragraph 10 of its opinion referenced DPPF 30/03/2016 contained in the policy file of the Ministry of Justice directed that the charge be discontinued and the file sent back to the police to further investigate the matter.
The court never ordered or directed the Attorney General of the Federation to take over the case since and more importantly no court in Nigeria has such power over the AGF.
Already Innoson has over N15billion judgment in its favour against Guaranty Trust Bank (who is sponsoring the charge) in suit no Fhc/AWK/CS/139/2012, suit no Fhc/L/CS/603/2006 and Appeal no CA/I/258/2011 and Appeal no CA/E/288/2014. The charge is to blackmail Innoson and to force it to forgo the judgments sums of over N15Billion.
The futility of the charge and the fact that it is a trump is demonstrated by the following:
a) GTB kept and continues to keep a register where all its customers sign for every bill of lading it collected from it. Innoson signed for all the bills of lading it collected from GTB including the ones in dispute in GTB's register. During the investigation and till date GTB failed and refused to produce the register on the ground that it was destroyed by fire that gutted its office;
b) in suit no Fhc/AWK/CS/139/2012 which was on excess and unlawful charges GTB imposed on Innoson's current account with it, GTB raised the issue of forged Bills of lading but could not establish that and Innoson got a judgment in excess of N4.7Billion against GTB therein;
c) the bills of lading which GTB is parading as forged is not more than five and the goods imported with them is not up to N100Million. The question therefore is, how did the sum become N2.4Billion?; what are contained in the containers evidenced by the Bills of lading in issue that is worth N2.4Billion.
We therefore urge the general public to disregard the news publication as this is a smear campaign to undermine the integrity of Dr Innocent Chukwuma OFR.
Cornel Osigwe ANIPR,
Public Relations and Media Consultant
Innoson Group

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=388155511359592&id=335914713250339&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.388155511359592%3Atl_objid.388155511359592%3Athid.335914713250339%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1464764399%3A6571250803916244308&__tn__=%2As

kYjelly2:
I just loaded some airtime on my etisalat and I got this notification, asking me if I want to get 50mb of data and 900 naira to call any network, all for just 300 naira.

That is a deal men!! Here I have been, blowing 1k after 1k credit, when I could just have signed up for this plan.

I know the data isn't much, but I have unlimited internet, so I just need calls and boy, this is a sweet deal.

So if I load 1k now, I can just use tiny 300 naira to get 900 naira, just like that, awesome!!

I just feel like I've made a huge discovery.

Next would be to find where they have a deal on petrol, like 50 naira/liter anything is possible!

you can't tell us that you have unlimited data and just run away ....at least give us something nah.

quote me when you reply

Samchelsea:
Just use tweakware mod to power ur browsing, but the downloading speed is very slow cos they throttle the speed after u exhaust ur allocated mb.

my own tweakware has started misbehaving. I've subscribed thrice in one week and they keep sending me a message about exhausting my data bundle. do you use the social pak or chat pak?

who cares if you commit suicide? certainly not me. at least there will be more fresh air for people who want to live

Dis kain cover-up sef. you guys should stop trying to deceive us nah

A word of wisdom to the youth in the community...."If You Don't Take Care Of Yourselves, Who Will??"
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simple solution is for every family to own a double-barrel gun.
Bųɭɭɩҽى ىtɷp pɩckɩŋɠ ɷŋ ʏɷų wɧҽŋ ʏɷų ʆɩɠɧt back

KashyBaby:
whoever ate it got a big mouth! I can pass u some of my fire cracker...nxtime u left ur soup somewhere u put that cracker inside the pot, whoever will eat it, his mouth will explode....

bad idea.....i live with engineers

It is impossible to regret studying engineering....
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Unless you graduate with a 2.5 CGPA

KashyBaby:
Why so grumpy? as if someone ate all ur Sunday tomato soup and u come up here murmuring....

if it was only tomato soup, i wouldn't mind....someone ate all the egusi soup in the pot

KashyBaby:
Lol....


This "mini bus" looks like one from a cartoon network

I wonder what's the fastest speed of this bus?

with the current economic condition of Nigeria, how much can you muster to undertake such a project? Coupled with the fact that Nigerian universities don't teach jack.


Learn to appreciate people's efforts instead of ridiculing them.

Yea, they also presented it at this year's exhibition... Quite an impressive contraption it was