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If he uses pet names constantly, probably he doesn't know what your actual name is.

By Macy Williams

There are certain types of guys that women find irresistible, even if we know that those men are no good. Can you blame us? Everybody loves a bad boy, but the troublemakers are only the tip of the iceberg.

There are plenty of other types of guys that women should avoid dating at all costs. Take our word for it — your love life will be a whole lot better.

1. The Nut Job. When he starts telling you about all of the weird and socially unacceptable things he wants to do to you, you might want to check his legal records.

2. The Sap. Does he call you by pet names so much that he can't even remember your real name? Ew.

3. The Oversharer. Beware, he might put all of your personal confessions on Facebook. For all you know he's live tweeting your relationship at this very moment.

4. The Possessive Guy. If you so much as glance at your male waiter, your guy will explode. Be careful, he might put a "property of" tag on you.

5. The Socially Uneducated. There are basic words and phrases that everybody should know. If he is starting to build up a history of being completely aloof, maybe he has been living at his mom's house for too long.

6. The Lazy Oaf. He sets enough snacks around his recliner for three days so he never has to get up. When you talk to him, his eyes don't even leave the TV screen. You can give up on being taken on a date now.

7. The Stage-5 Clinger. He wants to talk to you at every second of every day. And if you don't pick up your phone, he has a nervous breakdown. Time for some breathing room.

8. The Tough Lover. You come home from a bad day and he tells you to suck it up. Sometimes a girl could use some sympathy, OK?

9. The Narcissist. He loves himself more than he will ever love you. Enough said.

10. The Really Old Guy. The mature older man is always appealing, but let's be honest: you have nothing in common with him. He thinks you're a child, and soon enough he'll be reminding you of your grandpa.

11. The Show-Off. Whether he wants you to look at his muscles or listen to his mad bagpipe skills, he needs your attention and approval at all times. Give a girl a break.

12. The Cheap Guy. There's nothing wrong with going Dutch on a meal, but when a guy can never pay for anything ever, it's time to drop him. Ever heard of a job?

read more: http://9jaexclusive.net/12-types-guys-not-want-date/

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We’ve all been through that uncomfortable moment where the guy or girl leans in for the kiss and a myriad of awkward and embarrassing situations suddenly pop up. If you’ve ever been in any of these situations, it’s time to strategize and observe your target before literally diving in for a kiss.

So you lean in and this happens…

Scenario 1: She moves back a step and wishes you good night.

Scenario 2: She pushes you away and wishes you good night.

Scenario 3: She pulls a Jackie Chan and tumbles out of reach, rolls inside her door and slams it shut in your face.

Scenario 4: She slaps you.

Scenario 1 and 2 are the big favorites, while 3 and 4 are highly unlikely. Still, it’s better to be prepared for any possibility if your date doesn’t feel like giving you a kiss before you say good night.

People assume that just because they’re on a date that they’re entitled to a kiss in the middle or the end of the date. If this were a perfect world, that could be true. However, a kiss has to happen when two people feel a connection – romantic or otherwise.

Why aren’t you getting that kiss?

When it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean that the date was a failure. It just means that the person you’re with isn’t ready to take that next step. Kissing is a special act that happens when two people who are attracted to each other feel the urge to connect physically.

It needs to be mutual. You can’t just attempt it thinking that they might go along with it. You could just end up with Scenario 4 if you become too aggressive about it. Don’t judge a person because of her decision to ignore your attempt. They usually have a valid reason as to why they don’t want to do it. So, why do people prefer not to kiss?

#1 They don’t feel a connection yet. Some people feel this immediately, while some people are too guarded to notice that you both work well together. Kissing may seem trivial to some, but others think it’s as special as making love. If you really like the person, you should be willing to wait for them to be open about being physical with you.

#2 One of you has bad breath. Oh, it happens. It could be a deal breaker or it could just be something that you can laugh about in the future. Either way, it’s not a good way to end an amazing date.

#3 She doesn’t like you enough. Bad breath or not, a girl will not opt to kiss you if she doesn’t like you at all. If she did, you would end up assuming that there’s still a chance for the both of you. By refusing to kiss you, she may very well be saving you from a fruitless pursuit of her affection. [Read: 6 ways to accidentally kiss your friend]

#4 The date went badly. Somebody has to say it. If nobody will, the lack of a goodnight kiss will do that for you. No matter how much you like a person, a kiss is less likely to happen if the night ended badly. Any number of circumstances could make this happen. If the first date’s a failure, pray and hope it’ll go better next time – if there is still a next time.

#5 The setting isn’t right. Doorways are the perfect setting for goodnight kisses. Freeways, restrooms and living rooms with parents present aren’t exactly the ideal location for a romantic interval. If your date doesn’t feel like it’s the proper place to give or receive a kiss, she won’t let it happen.

Is she ready for that kiss?

You can’t really choreograph a moment like this, but you can anticipate it. There are several very obvious signs that your kiss will be reciprocated or at least welcomed. All you have to do is read the signs, make your move and prepare for whatever happens.

Just because these signs lead you to that magical moment, it won’t determine the outcome of the kiss. Before anything else, make sure your breath smells fresh, you don’t have a glass-full of saliva stored in your mouth and that neither of you are uncomfortable.

How to know if she’s ready for your first kiss

REMEMBER: Just because you see the signs doesn’t mean that it’s always okay to pounce on your date. Make sure that she is on the same page and is a willing candidate. Don’t pounce on her or surprise her even with a light smack on the cheek. Make sure that she knows you are about to kiss her to avoid any embarrassing or traumatic situations.

#1 She stays put even after she says goodbye. You’ve seen this a thousand times in romantic movies. I’m here to tell you that it is a legitimate green light for you to lean in and sweep your date off with an amazing kiss.

#2 She tilts her head to the side while making eye contact. If she doesn’t show any signs of ending the night, you can rest assured that she’s placing her lips in a prime position for a good night kiss. Don’t attack her with a wet, sloppy make-out session. Give her a light and feathery kiss in case she wasn’t really expecting it at all.

#3 She doesn’t get out of the car immediately after you arrive at her place. It’s the same principle with the first item. She could be waiting for you to say something more, but she could also be waiting for you to try and kiss her before she leaves. [Read: 50 cute things to say to a girl before kissing her]

#4 She leans in towards you. It may seem like she’s going to make the move and kiss you first, but it’s more likely that she’s just bridging the gap between the two of you. You have to make the final move because she’s just setting up the stage for you.

Read more: http://9jaexclusive.net/top-6-giveaway-signs-shes-ready-kiss/

Wondering why you aren’t getting hit on as much as you’d like? Use these tips and tricks to appear approachable to men without coming off as too easy! By Keith Brown

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how to be more approachable to guys13 Charming Ways to be More Approachable to Guys



Contrary to what you may think, getting hit on or appearing approachable to men isn’t really a game of chance where you just have to wait it out.

And contrary to what most women think, you don’t have to do something outrageous or provocative to get a guy to walk up to you and say hello!

The truth is, if you understand a guy’s mind and what goes on in it before he approaches a girl, you could make any guy want to strike up a conversation with you within five minutes of stepping into a place!

[Read: 20 secret things about guys that all guys wish girls would know]

How to be more approachable to guys without appearing easy

Do you ever feel like you could do with more attention from the guys around you, especially when you walk into a new place or a regular hangout and see a cute guy who’s definitely worth a shot?

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind if you want to win the edge over all other girls in the room, and catch a guy’s eye.

[Read: 18 tips to make any girl look pretty and catch a guy’s eye instantly]

#1 Look good! As shallow as this may sound, this is as simple as it can get. To a guy, approaching a girl is all about first appearances. When a guy walks into a room, it takes him less than a few glances to make up his mind on whether he wants to approach a girl or not.

If you dress up well and look good, it just makes everything all the more easier for you! [Read: 25 really easy ways to make yourself cuter and melt a guy’s heart at first glance!]

#2 Don’t appear occupied. Don’t be too engrossed with your phone or a book, or something else. You may be bored and trying to keep yourself busy, but chances are, doing that will make the guy who wants to approach you back away because you appear too busy to be interested in a conversation with him.

Are you out of his league?

Now this goes against the first tip on looking good, but there’s also a drawback of looking too good for the guy! If you’re a stunner who looks gorgeous, all the guys around you may drool at you or try to sneak glances at you all the time, but most guys would feel too intimidated to approach you.

If there’s one thing guys fear more than anything else while approaching women, it’s the fear of rejection or worse, humiliation! Most guys may just assume you’re way above their league and they’re not worthy of your attention. Simply put, if you look very attractive, you’ll scare most guys away! [A good looking girl’s confession: Are we really so mean?]

But then again, on the other hand, the only guys who feel confident enough to approach you would be the guys who think they’re worthy of you *the alpha males, the achievers, and of course, the players!*.

If you really want to catch the eye of a shy guy who seems nice but is too scared to approach you, try being friendly and warm to the people around you. It always helps! [Read: 12 ways to get a shy guy to approach you and ask you out]

13 tips to be more approachable to men

So you want to catch a guy’s eye and make him walk up to you? Just use these 13 easy tips, and you’ll see that getting a guy to approach you and start a conversation with you can be one of the easiest things to do.

#1 The way you dress. Don’t dress up like you have nothing to hide. You’ll get everyone’s attention alright, but the only guys who would approach you are the ones who are looking for a quick one night stand. Of course, dressing provocatively would definitely help catch a nice guy’s eye, but only if your look is sensual and not blatantly s.xual.

Remember, you don’t have to flaunt everything you have to catch a guy’s eye. If you’re interesting and look pretty, you’ll catch his eye nevertheless! [Read: 12 physical turn offs in a girl that all guys hate]

#2 Eye contact. Glance at him now and then, and make eye contact occasionally. But at the same time, don’t get too carried away and try to catch his eye all the time. He may just think you’re too easy and not care.

#3 The quick and slow look away. There are two ways to look at a guy and let him know you’re interested. And you can use them both depending on what feels comfortable for you.

The slow glance. When you’re glancing across the room, look towards him casually and make eye contact with him for a few seconds with a small smile. And then, slowly turn your head away and look towards something else. This is a more confident and bolder way of letting the guy know you’re interested.

The quick glance. And for the quick and coy approach, you could look towards him suddenly when he’s staring towards you, catch his eye, and immediately look at a friend or look down in an obvious manner. Smiling to yourself at that moment will only make you appear more cuter and sweeter in his eyes! [Read: 12 subtle eye contact flirting tips to get his heart racing!]

#4 Make it easy for him. It’s intimidating for a guy to approach a girl when she’s with a big group of friends. If your idea is to meet guys or get approached by them, try to spend time alone or probably with another girl friend.

#5 The right kind of places. Not all places create the perfect scenario for casual conversations. If you want a guy to approach you, pick a place that’s perfect for casual conversations where everyone in the room won’t turn their heads around to see what’s happening. Coffee shops, clubs, or book stores are perfect places with limitless opportunities for a guy to start a conversation with you.

#5 Give him opportunities to talk to you. Even if you’re in a group and you see a guy you like, make eye contact with him a few times. And when you feel like he’s ready to talk to you, walk away for a few minutes to look around or to order a drink at the bar by yourself.

#6 Smile. Appear warm and friendly, and your chances of getting approached by guys would rise multifold. Being likeable at first sight can be a huge advantage to any girl who wants to catch a guy’s eye! [Read: How to get anyone to like you at first sight]

#7 Don’t be bored. Have fun and be positive no matter where you are. Positivity draws positivity. And a happy girl draws happy guys who love their life. If you’re grumpy or appear stiff or bored, even a guy who really likes you may think twice about approaching you because you may seem boring and dull. [Read: 12 things guys love in a girl besides her appearance]

#8 Don’t be rude. If you’re rude to anyone, be it a waiter or one of your friends, odds are, the guy who wants to approach you would back away immediately. No one likes rude people, and no guy would want to strike a conversation with a girl who may snap at him or insult him for approaching her!

#9 Don’t hang out with guys! This is a big one that’s something you always need to remember. Don’t ever hang out with guy friends if you want to get approached by a guy. It’s just not going to happen! [Read: Why guy best friends are nothing but trouble]

#10 Show him you’re interested. Let him know that you’re interested in getting to know him better. Even if you’re talking to your friend and he’s sitting at the next table, look towards him when he looks at you even as you answer your friend.

#11 Show off your coy and girly side. Look at him now and then, and when you catch his eye, tuck your hair behind your ear, look down and smile to yourself. It may seem like a small gesture to you, but to a guy, it’s jackpot! [Read: Moves to attract men in a way they just can’t resist!]

#12 Tease him. Walk past him and make eye contact just as you walk past him. Tease him, and he’ll love the subtle attention!

#13 Don’t push it. You’re just embarrassing yourself if you push it too far. Guys aren’t dumb, and if you glance at him a few times or smile in his direction, he knows already that you’re ready to be approached.

Some guys just don’t have the courage to make a move, while there may be a few guys who probably aren’t interested in approaching you whatever their reasons may be *married, dating, gay, coward?* [Read: 15 accidental conversation starters you can use on a guy]

So don’t throw yourself on the floor or flail your arms wildly to let him know you’re interested. Give him a few glances, a few smiles and use these tips to give him the opportunity to approach you. But if he doesn’t approach you in a while, chances are, he’s not going to approach you anytime soon whatever his reason may be..

more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/read-13-charming-ways-approachable-guys/

Source: Lovepanky

Though not all long distance relationships are the same, people in them would agree that there are things you must do to stand the test of distance. By Alice Tucker


Relationships are rarely a straight road that both individuals can follow in perfect unison. After all, our lives can be divided up into so many areas that demand our attention: our health, our families, our career, and so forth.

Often, one of these demands may cause a fork in the road, separating a couple on their relationship course temporarily, whilst a separate life mission is pursued.

Three years into my own relationship, my partner and I met a fork in the road. It was time for him to pursue his career further afield, before we could advance our relationship to the next level. For two years now, we have been spending weekdays apart and reconnecting at the weekends. It’s a bittersweet arrangement.

Pursuing his career will only lead to a better life for us both in the future, but it is hard to look past that when you are feeling alone on a Tuesday night with only a king-sized bag of Maltesers to console you. And to think some couples are separated for many more than five days at a time!

The further down the road we travel, the more I realize that although this isn’t the ideal arrangement, our relationship will benefit from it in the future. There are certain relationship lessons and habits that we are learning together that can only translate positively when our roads reconnect in the future. They are lessons that I believe every couple could benefit from, whether they’re apart for a year, a month, a week, a day or are never apart at all, for better lives as both individuals and in a relationship. [Read: Can long distance love survive the distance?]

How to successfully work through a long distance relationship

Out of all the tips and tricks people can do to withstand being apart from their loved one, here are the 10 survival tips that will ring true for any relationship.

#1 Allow yourselves time to explore your own individual interests. After being used to spending your time together as a couple a decent proportion of your time, it may seem strange that a large segment of your week is now spent as an individual as opposed to as a pair. The choices you make in terms of how you spend your time differ so greatly when alone. There’s nothing like going through life as a team, having a support system with someone by your side, but this is not to say you should not take advantage of your time as an individual.

Although you are not truly separating your lives when you are apart, and it is quite important for your relationship that this is not the case, you are in a situation where the choices you make are now completely free from compromise.

Depending on how long you have spent being in a relationship, this may be out of your comfort zone at first. Use the time to do things you might not be inclined to do as a couple. This may be focusing on your career, so that when it’s time to settle down, you can step back and focus time on life with your partner. You may also want to reconnect with friends whom you haven’t been able to make time for previously.

You may be surprised to find that there were a lot of things you haven’t done in a while, whilst spending time with your loved one. We often forget about the need for space in a relationship. Your individual endeavors should by no means be kept secret from your partner. [Read: How to give your partner space and improve your connection]

#2 Discover more ways to connect and communicate. How do you communicate with your partner when you are apart? Text, e-mail, instant messenger, facetime? As a couple, my boyfriend and I never really used to talk on the phone, other than a quick “do you need anything from the shop?” or “I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” because nine times out of ten, it’s easier to send a quick text. Since being apart, we’ve had some of our most heartfelt and soul searching conversations over the phone, and we are closer for it. This is purely due to the fact that, not only do we miss each other but, by definition, talking on the phone is time for talking and nothing else.

Ask yourself: when you are together as a couple, how much time do you spend communicating? Yes, you’re together, but how much quality conversation are you having? Do we need to fill time together with films, television and other distractions? Why shouldn’t we make more time for one to one communication in relationships?

Furthermore, just because we are in the age of technology, why abandon the first and possibly one of the most romantic forms of communication: the love letter? It can be heartfelt words of love, or simply wishing your partner a good week. In an age of instant communication, a letter is always an unexpected and romantic gesture.

#3 Be appreciative of your partner. This seems like such obvious advice, but it’s strange how often we forget these simple things. As a couple spending time together, you can often indirectly start to annoy each other, or little character traits appear that you never seemed to notice before. You inadvertently start taking the other for granted, and the things you found so special and so attractive are pushed to the back of your brain. But absence really does make the heart grow fonder. When you are forced to spend time apart from your partner, the times you reconnect are like revisiting your ‘honeymoon period.’ [Read: 16 easy-to-see examples if you’re being taken for granted already]

But why do you have to spend time apart to learn to re-appreciate your partner? After all, they are still the same person, and those special traits are still there! It’s you who has forgotten about them or filed them under ‘the norm.’

Next time you are with your partner, whether it be after a day at work or after a week apart, look for those unique features which set them apart from the rest. Why are you choosing to spend your life with this person? Because they showed you something that others didn’t, and what’s more, they chose you too! That’s pretty special. [Read: 25 ways to make your partner feel more appreciated]

#4 Be appreciative of the time you spend together. After spending time apart, even sitting and watching television together feels special. Every moment is precious and you learn not to take it for granted. It is important to make every moment count, even the ‘boring bits.’ After all, we often seem to forget how big a deal it is that not only are you committed to spending time with this one person, but they also want to invest their time in being with you.

Give each other a return on that investment by making that time as pleasant as it can possibly be, even if you’re not doing anything special at all.

#5 Show an interest in each other’s daily lives. It’s strange how much more you are inclined to ask questions and inquire about your partner’s daily life after being apart five or more days at a time, even the little things like their daily commute or what they had for lunch.

When you spend every moment together, you often neglect to ask about the smaller things in your partner’s daily life because you feel like a part of it. But, just as we have learnt to embrace our own individuality in a relationship, it is important to respect and show interest in your partner’s individual life as well. You may instinctively rely on your partner to tell you the highlights of their day, but there’s nothing like the feeling of a loved one inquiring about these simple things before you even think to tell them.

#6 Plan your time together. Go on dates together or make a trip! It’s all about cherishing the time that you have together and making it as special as it can be. This isn’t to say that you have to plan an elaborate outing every time you see each other, but its helpful to have something to look forward to whilst you are apart.

Furthermore, it’s also important to not be selfish with the time you do have together, after all, your partner may be leaving others behind as well! Accept that they need time to spend with friends and family, and they will appreciate you more for it. Why not plan to involve yourself with others who require your partner’s time, even if it puts you out of your comfort zone. If you share the time you have, it will save arguments and resentment.

It’s often tempting in normal relationships to rely on the fact that you live together or that you live in the same town as your partner to see each other. But is it always time well spent? Just because you see each other morning and night, doesn’t mean that you should forgo dates and trips. Why not book a week off to be together, even if all you do is relax!

#7 Be spontaneous and break your usual routine. The routine of weekdays without your partner and weekends spent together can get a little repetitive and tiresome. We live with routine in our jobs and so many aspects of our lives, and love is one thing that should be free of it. After all, spontaneity is one of the biggest sparks of romance.

Make last-minute surprise visits to break the routine. One surprise visit can break up both of your weeks and make it so much more bearable. And there is nothing to say you shouldn’t break your routine in your average relationship. Plan to leave work early and prepare a dinner for your partner, or meet them for lunch unexpectedly. You will make their day. [Read: 25 fun and unconventional date ideas to break your routine]

#8 Plan for the future. So, moving in together and settling down may have to be put on hold. There is no reason to lose sight of what you want from the future and what you want as a couple. Use the time to really decide on what you both want. Plan and compromise now and when the time comes, it will save time, decision making and arguments.

In any relationship, it is important to plan ahead. There is always a brighter future waiting for you and planning towards it makes life positive and motivating. Sharing that excitement with your partner makes for a stronger bond.

#9 Learn to resolve disagreements quickly. You’d be wrong for thinking that being apart would mean that you have fewer disagreements when you are together. Arguments will always happen. But arguing during your precious time together feels like a terrible waste of that time, or arguing over the phone and not knowing how the other person is truly feeling will leave you feeling helpless and raw.

Firstly, use this as an excuse not to argue at all. You have more control over it than you think. We argue because our first instinct to solve a disagreement is to, well, argue! It doesn’t have to be that way, but it takes work and it takes practice.

Learn to resolve your disagreements quickly to save yourself a prolonged “off” period, which is just a further waste of your time together. This is usually done by reminding yourself that you are not always right, and the issue isn’t that important.

Don’t forget that you can always agree to disagree, or cool down and revisit the conversation when you’ve both had time to reflect. These are all methods we can use in any relationship, because regardless of how much time you spend together, arguing is usually a waste of time. [Read: 23 do’s and don’ts of relationship arguments]

#10 Get over your jealousy and trust issues. It’s hard to trust your partner when they spend a lot of time in an environment that is alien to you and with new friends that you are unfamiliar with. Remind yourself that making new friends is one of the things that will make being away from home more bearable. Let your partner have fun, and don’t forget to make regular plans of your own.

Don’t obsess! No one likes a bunny boiler. If you are feeling insecure, it will only make you feel worse to text and check Facebook every two minutes. Take a step back from you phone and your computer. If you demand to know what your partner is doing all the time, they won’t thank you for it. What’s more, you will end up creating all sorts of stories in your head, if they don’t have time to reply to your messages! Let them be and ask about it later. [Read: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or wander?]

Make every step along your road a pleasant one for not only yourself but for your partner. And make every step of your long distance relationship count! Use these 10 lessons to inspire you and motivate you to pursue a future that you can enjoy together and make the wait worth it!

Read more: http://9jaexclusive.net/10-survival-tips-every-long-distance-relationship/

We all want our first dates to be perfect. But do you really how to impress a girl on a date without overdoing it? Here are 8 tips for first dates that every man should know to have a successful first date.
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First Date Tips for Men
mistakes on a date - couple animation

When you hook up on a first date with a gorgeous girl, it is understandable that you want to go all out and please her, maybe by showing her that you’re manly and in command, or by behaving like a doormat.

But there may be a few things that could be overdone and you might just blow any opportunity of getting to the next date.

The Huggable Understanding Guy tells you where to draw the line between doing the right things, and overdoing them. Here are some tips for first dates that can help you make the difference.

Tips for first dates #1 ARE YOU IN CONTROL?

It’s important to be in control and make those tough decisions, like calling the waiter, deciding where to go, etc. when you’re with your date.

It’s not easy when you get all groggy and drool while staring at this beautiful woman beside you.

But there may be times when your behavior borders rudeness and arrogance. Swearing, snapping your fingers to call waiters and bad behavior is just unacceptable. So if you want to hold on to the hope of getting a second date, then learn to be courteous and gentle, not just with her, but with everyone around.

Tips for first dates#2 TRYING TOO HARD

You may have waited since you were in first grade before the both of you got together for this date. You may have marked this moment in your secret diary and stored it as one of the best moments of your life. But you know what? She doesn’t have to know that!

She’s still contemplating and figuring if she’s having a good date. Don’t ruin the moment by droning on about how happy you are.

She knows that you’re happy, but don’t blow it all out, all through the date. Make her wonder if you’re having a great time. Don’t give in to the chase even before it begins!

More at: www.9jaexclusive.com
Tips for first dates#3 DON’T SHOW OFF YOUR INDEPENDENCE

You love hanging out and bonding with your guy friends, and every Friday in your calendar might be allotted for hanging out with the boys. But saying that out aloud on your first date could actually turn out bad for you.

You might think that it shows your independence and confidence, and that you also respect her space and are not going to be a clingy boyfriend, but it actually works otherwise. She might think that your life is just too rigid.

Or worse, it may seem like you’re trying to set boundary rules even before both of you get steady. It’s almost like you’re already imposing a rule on her. What did you think, that she would like it?!

Always remember these simple tips for first dates, and also these tips on the things you should never do on a first date to make sure you leave a lasting impression on your first date.

The APC President Candidate ensure taraba state people that he is going to start his rally as soon as he reach the state safe..

more detaila, photos and rally video to be updated here....

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The Reasons Why An Average Lady Is Most Likely To Lie About Being A V1rgin

This is my first time coming up with v1rginity stuff ‘cos the issue of v1rginity is so alarming taking different forms each day and I keep wondering why.

Note: I’m not taking cues based on my encounter because every girl is different.

Generally, I guess many ladies claim that v1rginity doesn’t define a good relationship & shouldn’t be an issue in courtship or choosing a partner, yet they lie about it. One thing I keep asking myself what would be their incentive on lying that they are when they are not?

Take a deep breath and read meticulously wink

Reasons Why An Average Lady Is Most Likely To Lie About Being A Virgin
1. Because Of Her Age
Personally speaking and general summarizing, a girl of 18-19yrs is most likely to lie using some slow logic to justify her v1rginity like she has never had s.x sober or in a committed relationship and is therefore still a v1rgin

2. Because That Is What Guys Love To Hear
YES girls lie about their v1rginity because they assume that is what we want to hear. Most dudes tend to hold firmly unto ladies the moment they realize they are truly v1rgins & barely play pranks on them just to get under their skirts ‘cos they know what it entails. However, an average lady lies about it cos she believes being a v1rgin will make her appear innocent, respected & holy. Anyway, no dude should dare demand a v1rgin if he himself is not a v.rgin, all these chop & clean mouth dudes dey find tear rubber to settle down with tongue

3. She Doesn’t Want To Be Pestered For S.x
We are in an era where s.x seems to be the talk of the day. Since that it’s now terribly difficult to differentiate those who truly love you and those who only want to get under your skirt, she’s most likely to lie if she gets to know that you are desperate for s.x

4. Because She Wants To Scam You
Many ladies lie about their v.rginity because they want to use that as a leverage to get you scammed. They will screw you up & get you dumped as quickly as possible when they know you will most likely get to know the truth

5. She Had It Only Once
YES a lady who had it only once and desist from it for a very long time still considers herself as a v.rgin and will most likely claim to be one because she believes she still as tight as a v.rgin and only a professional dude will get to know when he gets in there

6. The Reaction Of Others
Some people react badly when
they learn a woman is not a v.rgin. Hence, ladies would rather not deal with that reaction & may lie to avoid it because of the fear of Being chastised Or castigated

7. She Wants To Portray A Good Image
Girls will always lie about their number
cause they are worried how it will
make you look at them and they don’t
want it to hurt their chances having you or change the way you feel about
them. They worry a lot. **That’s girls 4u** lolx

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/reasons-average-lady-likely-lie-v1rgin/

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Is the excitement and mystery of being with a bad boy worth the heartache? Or should you simply deem this phase as rebellious and move on?

Through time immemorial bad boys are known to leave a trail of teary-eyed women with broken hearts behind them. Despite their actions, women cannot resist their charm. It's a classic case of liking everything that is wrong for you. You know you desire that ecstasy and we're all guilty of this fact.


Says psychiatrist Anita Peters, "Bad boys, as we like to call them, may or may not be involved in a number of things like drinking, smoking, excessive partying and women. Every woman would like to fill her life with excitement, and a man who keeps a girl on her toes gives her just that...and more. Ask a girl who's slept with a 'bad boy!' However, a bad boy's allure is limited. It might even end at just being a childish fantasy."

According to a recent survey, the thrill of being with someone who lives on the wild side has a lot of women chasing after these bad boys. Breaking out of the mundane, monotonous life, women often go out looking for some drama to spice up their lives.

"I dated this amazing guy when I was 20. He'd buy me flowers and gifts, we'd have some amazing conversations, it was a very nice, relaxed relationship. I broke up with him because he was too nice. Everything was too easy with him. There was no thrill. I know I broke his heart but I wanted someone a little more exciting." says Richa Tripathi, 23, economics graduate.

Be it the confident air that they exude or believing in living life on the edge, on their own terms and conditions, there is something dangerously desirable about these men. Says Corine Rao, psychologist who studies sexuality and behavior, "Sarcasm, unpredictability and jerk-like behavior all trigger strange emotions in women. It might be because of low self-esteem or a need for thrill and excitement or even some deep rooted issues since childhood."

Converting a serial playboy into a loving, homely man is also a challenge most women look forward to. The risk of getting to know them, seeing what they can potentially do in bed and how their lives would pan out with them seems to have a strong pull on women.

However, the many elements of society, films and media as well as upbringing have ingrained a certain thought process in our heads. A 'bad boy' may not even consider himself a bad boy nor may he dress up like a douche bag, he may in fact be your friendly neighbor who is well groomed and charming. A bad boy, in most cases would think of himself as a regular guy. "A lot of characteristics of a bad boy are subjective. For me, a bad boy doesn't have to be someone who wears skull tattoos or smokes and parties all night. The element of mystery and danger sets him apart for me." Says Anshika Verma, 29.

Even though the charm and popularity of a bad boy is desirable, it may not be long lasting. Adds Anita "Despite their many attractions, women would eventually settle for someone more stable or at least a sweet mix of both. As cliche as this sounds, nice guys don't finish last."

'Why is she with him? He's bad news.' Despite the constant refrain, the proclivity towards bad men has a strong hold on most women. Says psychologist Ananya Singh, who studies human behavior "Girls who go for bad boys tend to avoid deep emotion of any sort and often steer clear of any emotional connect whatsoever. For them it may just start and end with having a fun time."

Experts believe that this affinity towards bad boys may often stem from childhood experiences. Verbal and emotional abuse may be one of the important reasons. The dark traits translate back to the need-for-thrill factor. "I don't think many girls want a long term commitment from such relationships. Its more of a 'let loose and have some fun' or succumbing to one's nurturing tendencies" says graphic designer Stella Paul.

more at: www.9jaexclusive.net

- Communicate.
- Build trust.
- Be honest.
- Be faithful.
- Be there for one another. - Make time for
one another.
-Talk about things, both good and bad.
- Leave the past to the past,which include
ex’s.
- Know that having arguments are normal.
- Know that you won’t alwaysbe happy.
- Appreciate the flaws. - Appreciate each
other.
- Become best friends.
- Lastly, love each other unconditionally!!

more at: www.9jaexclusive.net

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It’s understandable that relationships require two people to learn as much as they can about each other. It helps you get to know the person you’re seeing better, and they can learn about you as well.

After the preliminary queries like career options, goals and plans for the future, a girl still has a few questions that can’t be discussed in the initial stages of the relationship.

Some of these questions can be embarrassing, inappropriate or just plain weird. A girl can’t ask awkward questions without giving the wrong idea in some aspects like se.x, hygiene and personal appearances.

It’s okay to ask these awkward questions once she and her partner have reached a higher level of trust. That way, at least the guy would be more open to her curiosity, and he might even be able to shed some light on her questions without judging her.

Some girls are confident enough to put these questions out in the open, but a lot of women are too shy or scared to express themselves. Women have bigger fears when it comes to making relationships work as opposed to men. They worry too much about what their guy might think of them. After all, they tend to put more emotional investment in asking the hard questions.

Why can’t girls ask guys awkward questions?

When women were asked what awkward questions they were thinking about asking guys, most of their queries fell into the category of relationship topics and physical appearances. Men are known to get iffy when relationship topics are thrown in the ring. Men also tend to put a high value on a woman’s appearance.

Some men feel that talking about the status of a relationship means that things are moving too quickly. If women asked the awkward questions involved in the subject, they might scare their partner away. It’s disappointing to note, but that’s the truth.

When it comes to appearances, men want to think of women as a perfect specimen. No matter what her flaws are, they hardly notice it because they like her so much. If awkward questions about appearances spring up, she might inadvertently draw attention to her perceived flaws, or she might come off as insecure.

This just justifies the fact that women are right about not asking these awkward questions, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t thinking about it. At some point in the relationship, these questions will be discussed, and it’s okay if that happens, especially when you and your partner are very much committed to each other.

What are the awkward questions that girls want to ask guys?

To all the guys out there, the reason I’m giving you this list is to let you in on the little things that cross a girl’s mind when she’s dating you. Of course, you can’t expect her to blurt out these questions outright. But it can help if you subtly open up the topic to make her feel like it’s okay to be curious about these things. [Read: 24 worst things guys can ever say on the first date]

#1 What do you want to do in bed? Some women find it hard to know what gets their partners off. They really want to know, but they’re just too shy to ask. This is because of the idea that a woman who talks about se.x is more liberated than the rest. It gives men the wrong idea and can make them judge a girl just because she’s confident enough to ask a man what he wants to do with her in bed.

#2 Do you want to try this in bed? Women have their own fetishes and turn-ons, but it’s hard to discuss it with their partner without surprising or shocking them. Women are reluctant to express their needs for fear of being judged or for fear of insulting their partner. For practicality’s sake, women should start expressing their needs because it can make their s.ex lives a whole lot easier and significantly better. [Read: 9 se.xiest pre-intimacy moves your girl would definitely want to try]

#3 Should I shave/wax? Just thinking of the word pubic hair makes writing this article feel awkward. What more could it do if the subject was brought up between two people in a relationship? Men have different preferences when it comes to landscaping. Some like it bare, while some want a little bit of tuft in between. Others are more outdoorsy and love a full bush. Girls have their own preferences, but it couldn’t hurt to know what their man likes. They’re just too shy to ask because there’s hardly ever a perfect time to bring it up.

#4 Do my stretch marks bother you? Apart from the other items on the endless list of flaws that women are thinking about, stretch marks are included. Although they are hardly noticeable in women who have never been pregnant or women who have never experienced a drastic change in weight, it is still something that they wonder about. Do men see it? Are they grossed out? They won’t ask for fear of it being noticed, but they do want to know if it’s a factor in terms of physical appearances.

#5 What does my vagina smell like? Strangely, women wonder if something smells funky down there. It’s easy to check using traditional methods like using a tissue, but men spend way more time down there than they do. No matter how clean you are, biology seems to have its own agenda especially when you have hormonal problems or an irregular diet. That’s why women want to check if a man is okay with the environment down there. [Read: 8 secrets to giving your girl the best oral se;x orgasm]

#6 Are my legs smooth enough for you? Waxing and shaving have a few disadvantages, including stubble. We know how annoying beard burn can be, but men have complaints about bristly legs as well. The problem is that women can feel their hair growing out, but they wonder if men are bothered by it. Sometimes, women also wonder if men notice if they forgot to shave their legs.

#7 Can you see my pimple? Of course, men can see that bright, red atrocity on your forehead. It’s not an issue, unless it’s bordering on becoming a boil. Having acne can make a woman feel unhealthy or unhygienic. Women just want to know if you can see the tiny red dot on their face, because it might make you think gross thoughts about them and never call them again. They’d never ask because that just calls attention to what they’re trying to hide.

#8 Can you see my butthole? As gross as it sounds, it’s a thought that enters a lot of women’s minds during se.x. There are some se.xual positions where displaying her asshole’s full glory is inevitable. In line with that, she doesn’t want you to be grossed out by it, so she’s very conscious about it. She won’t ask because you might notice and pay more attention, but she’s also secretly hoping you’re not bothered by seeing it out there.

#9 When do you plan on getting married? It’s a logical question, but it’s not really something that women ask when they first start dating someone. The context of asking this question lightly without any expectations is hard to simulate. Sometimes, it’s okay to ask this conversationally, but women are reluctant to do so because it makes them seem desperate for matrimony. They still want to ask because it saves them a lot of time and trouble if their goals are not in line with their partner’s.

#10 Do you think I’m marriage material? Now, this has no bearing on the guy whatsoever. It’s not a proposal, but it will be interpreted that way. A girl just wants to know if she’s sending out the right signals. Understandably, she doesn’t want to ask this because it can put you on the hot seat.

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/12-awkward-questions-girls-wish-ask-guys/

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Young lovers have a fascination for love and the way it works.

And more than anything else, the impatient young want proof for everything.

[Read: Interesting ways to tell someone you love them]

If a meaningful proclamation of love isn’t enough for you, here’s something that can help you understand the proof of love better.

Firstly, there is no quick way to prove that you love someone.

Love needs time to reveal itself, just like a flower needs time to bloom and a sapling needs time to grow into a tree.

[Read: 9 tips for a perfect new relationship]

6 ways to prove that you love someone

If you want to prove that you love someone, here are a few things you can keep in mind to do just that.

#1 Be truthful. Be truthful about your feelings and voice your thoughts.

The easiest way to prove that you love someone is by expressing your opinions about this special person.

#2 A shoulder to learn on. Stand by your lover, in the good times, and more so in the bad times.

All of us have our ups and downs in life. Be the shoulder to lean on and give your partner the courage and strength to take the next step by letting them know that you’re right by their side.

#3 intimacy and lust. While infatuation revolves around se.x and lust, love doesn’t. Love is a deeper emotion that transcends physical appearances. If you truly believe that you like your partner for who they are as a person, and not because of how much they arouse you, that’s true love. [Read: Understanding how love at first sight works]

#4 Don’t be materialistic. Money is fickle. It’s true that money can give you a lot of happiness, but your love should not flicker with the winds of wealth. [Read: Money can buy you happiness]

#5 Romantic gestures. Indulging in happy romantic gestures is one of the sweetest ways to let someone know that you truly love them. It’ll make your partner feel loved and you’ll feel warm and happy on the inside. [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures for everyday life]

#6 Unconditional love. Love your partner unconditionally and selflessly. Put their needs before yours, and focus on their happiness more than your own. Unconditional love is tricky though and these expressions of selfless love should never be one sided in the relationship, or it would eventually lead to a painful breakup. [Read: A cute true story of unconditional love]

The proof of love

Young lovers constantly want their partners to prove their love by indulging in cinematized gestures like undergoing pain or risking something they love dearly just to prove their love for someone. It’s cute and very romantic, when both lovers go to great lengths to sacrifice pleasures and moments of happiness so they can let someone know just how much they mean to them.

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/read-prove-love-someone-right-way/

Young lovers have a fascination for love and the way it works.

And more than anything else, the impatient young want proof for everything.

[Read: Interesting ways to tell someone you love them]

If a meaningful proclamation of love isn’t enough for you, here’s something that can help you understand the proof of love better.

Firstly, there is no quick way to prove that you love someone.

Love needs time to reveal itself, just like a flower needs time to bloom and a sapling needs time to grow into a tree.

[Read: 9 tips for a perfect new relationship]

6 ways to prove that you love someone

If you want to prove that you love someone, here are a few things you can keep in mind to do just that.

#1 Be truthful. Be truthful about your feelings and voice your thoughts.

The easiest way to prove that you love someone is by expressing your opinions about this special person.

#2 A shoulder to learn on. Stand by your lover, in the good times, and more so in the bad times.

All of us have our ups and downs in life. Be the shoulder to lean on and give your partner the courage and strength to take the next step by letting them know that you’re right by their side.

#3 intimacy and lust. While infatuation revolves around se.x and lust, love doesn’t. Love is a deeper emotion that transcends physical appearances. If you truly believe that you like your partner for who they are as a person, and not because of how much they arouse you, that’s true love. [Read: Understanding how love at first sight works]

#4 Don’t be materialistic. Money is fickle. It’s true that money can give you a lot of happiness, but your love should not flicker with the winds of wealth. [Read: Money can buy you happiness]

#5 Romantic gestures. Indulging in happy romantic gestures is one of the sweetest ways to let someone know that you truly love them. It’ll make your partner feel loved and you’ll feel warm and happy on the inside. [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures for everyday life]

#6 Unconditional love. Love your partner unconditionally and selflessly. Put their needs before yours, and focus on their happiness more than your own. Unconditional love is tricky though and these expressions of selfless love should never be one sided in the relationship, or it would eventually lead to a painful breakup. [Read: A cute true story of unconditional love]

The proof of love

Young lovers constantly want their partners to prove their love by indulging in cinematized gestures like undergoing pain or risking something they love dearly just to prove their love for someone. It’s cute and very romantic, when both lovers go to great lengths to sacrifice pleasures and moments of happiness so they can let someone know just how much they mean to them.

Go on and indulge in it, after all, love does drive you crazy. It may have worked in the days of the knights and damsels, and it still does work to this day. But don’t try to prove your love for someone by doing something you don’t want to, or something you know you’ll end up regretting.

The truth about proving your love for someone

Anyone who asks you to prove your love doesn’t love you yet. They’re toying with you or just having fun with you to see how much you can pursue them. While a romantic chase is good during the wooing period, stay away from partners who ask for proof of your love all the time, even though both of you have been seeing each other for a while. [Read: The 10 types of love you’ll experience in your life]

Guys ask a girl to prove her love only to get a se.xual favor in return.

Girls ask a guy to prove his love only to make him play to her tunes and show off to her friends that she controls him.

Love is not a test. It’s an emotion, just like pain or happiness. You can only express it, you can’t prove it. It’s something that has to be felt and experienced.

Love is not something that can be proved, unless you use scientific brain scans and test chemical levels in your body. And to be quite frank, they’re not very accurate either.

Things you should never do to prove your love

As much as you may want to prove how much you love someone, avoid doing any of these things.

# Have se.x or get physical with your partner when you’re uncomfortable with that thought.

# Break the law just to appear cooler or get something for your partner.

# Do something you don’t want to or feel comfortable with.

# Go against your moral principles that you’ll regret later.

But if you can’t stop looking for ways to prove your love, indulge in a romantic gesture that can bring a smile on your partner’s face. That’s all the proof your partner should need. [Read: How to write a romantic love letter]

How far should you go to prove your love for someone?

If your lover constantly wants proof of your love all the time, end the relationship. You’ll always feel like you need to do more to prove your love and your partner will never be happy. Love is mutual and effortless. Both of you have to prove your love in little ways every day and build the trust around the relationship. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]

Romantic gestures, gifts and poems don’t prove your love, it’s just a way to express the overwhelming rush of happy emotions you feel for someone.

If that’s what your lover wants, indulge in it. But don’t do anything more. It’s not necessary to prove anything when your lover behaves like an immature child who wants proof for everything you do. And you should be wary though, a partner who asks for proof of your love may just want to exploit you the easy way.

[Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

Understanding how to prove that you love someone is easy if you understand how love works. It’s something that has to be felt inside, and not something that can ever be proved by any other means

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/read-prove-love-someone-right-way/

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Remember the first time you kissed a guy?

You obviously had a hard time trying to work the right way to do it in your head.

But as soon as you approached that inevitable moment, you realized that it’s as natural, easy and simple as breathing.

All you need to do is take things slow and easy, and wait for both your lips to start moving against each other’s until they reach the perfect synchrony.

As complicated as it may seem at first, it’s just as easy once you lock your lips.

[Read: 6 tips to get any guy to kiss you when you want him to]

How to kiss a guy for the first time

When you have to kiss a guy for the first time, the first few seconds is always tricky.

You may have kissed a lot of guys.

But you’ve never really kissed this guy before.

Both of you have your own kissing styles and approaches, and it’s easy to turn a perfect opportunity into a confusion of sorts.

Tips to kiss a guy and turn him on

If you want to kiss a guy, turn him on and part your lips from his with a memorable impression after the kiss, just use these ten tips on how to kiss a guy to do just that. [Read: How to talk to a guy and make him like you more]

#1 Come close to him. Yes, this is easy. All you need to do is come close. Don’t crane your neck out to kiss him from some distance. It’s not comfortable and you really can’t enjoy a perfect first kiss. The closer you are to him, the more both of you will enjoy the kiss and the more the chances are of you getting to arouse him discreetly.

#2 Let him take the lead. Kiss him, but let the guy take the lead. Unless you’re dating a first time kisser, touch your lips to his softly and wait while he applies some pressure on your lips with his.

Don’t purse your lips or pucker up, it’ll stiffen your lips which will make him feel like he’s kissing a wall. Keep your lips soft and slightly parted. It’ll feel softer, delicate and easily accessible. [Read: 25 tips to look cute and sweet when you’re with your boyfriend]

#3 Keep it short, silly. The first kiss is the ice breaker, but it’s never more than that unless both of you are Hot or extremely turned on. If it’s a romantic moment where there’s a lot of love or infatuation in the air, take it slow. If you want to create a memorable kiss, the first kiss should preferably be a small soft graze of both your lips that lasts for a second or two. Part your lips after this first kiss, look into his eyes and follow this first little kiss with a few more soft kisses.

#4 Each kissing style is unique. Don’t force the kiss or jump right into it even if you’re worried that the kiss won’t last long. It might turn out to be a bad experience. Take it slow and learn from each other. As both of you softly kiss each other a few times, both of you can slowly see how either of you move while kissing and follow each other’s cues to create a perfect new kissing style.

#5 Part your lips. After a few soft grazes of your lips with his, linger your lips on his for a few more seconds each time. And along the way, part your upper and lower lips just a bit so you let him know it’s alright to use a bit of tongue when he’s ready.

#6 Placing your hands. When you start kissing him, slowly move your hand and place it on the sides of his shoulder, or just under his arm. It’s an intimate move that’ll bring both of you closer. And by doing this, you’re getting closer and letting him know that it’s alright for him to touch you back. By placing your hand on his shoulder or under his arm, you’ll give him enough space to comfortably move his hands against your face while kissing you. [Read: 10 tips to seduce a man easily]

#7 Gentle body contact. Body contact between both of you can be really se.xy and intimate at the same time. And the best part is that you’d be able to turn him on without ever making it seem like you’re easy to get.

As you kiss him, move closer and slide your hand to his back. Come close to him, and he’ll instinctively come closer to you. If you’ve planned this move right, his chest would be perfectly positioned to graze your chest every time both of you move while kissing each other. And this will be something he’ll always remember as part of his first kiss experience with you.

#8 Move your face. As you kiss him, lift your chin up and turn sideways slightly, so he can instinctively kiss your chin and neck. This move is always more intimate than a plain kiss on the lips with no other moves. It’ll turn him on a lot more too, just like it’ll turn you on and have you gasping in seconds.

#9 Spend a while kissing. A first kiss isn’t really a first kiss. It’s a series of several kisses that help both of you understand each other’s kissing styles and increase the intimacy. If you want to have a perfect kiss with the guy you like, spend several minutes kissing each other the first time. And somewhere along the way, both of you would feel more connected and in tune with each other’s moves. A kiss that doesn’t feel right will always leave you in doubt about whether the chemistry’s missing. Instead of worrying about it, just take it slow and easy and learn along the way. [Read: An embarrassing first kiss story]

#10 Move your hands. Enjoy the kisses, but don’t stop there. If you want to know how to kiss a guy for the first time and leave him wanting more, you need to do more than just kiss him. Move your hands away from his back and gently move them along the contours of his shoulders and chest. It’ll bring both of you closer and give him the confidence to do the same to you. Enjoy the kiss and enjoy each other’s sensual touches as both your hands move along each other’s bodies for the first time.

But if you’re not ready for where his hands are leading him, especially if he’s inching closer to your breasts or your zipper, clasp his hand gently and move them to a place on your body where you’re comfortable with him touching. He’ll get the point and wait for your approval the next time. [Read: 25 tips to make your boyfriend happy in little ways]

Things to remember while kissing a guy for the first time

# Seated kisses are best if you plan to spend a while kissing and making out, especially if you’re in the car. It’s more comfortable, relaxed and you don’t need to worry about weak knees after a while.

# Kissing a guy while standing face to face is perfect for romantic soft kisses, especially the first goodnight kisses after a date.

# Kissing while standing can be uncomfortable at times, especially if you want his hands to get under your shirt. He’ll have to lift your shirt all the way up which is definitely inappropriate for a sweet first date.

# You don’t need to talk at all through the entire kissing experience. Your expressions will do all the talking.

# If you know you’re going to end the date with a kiss, chew gum or have a mint so you can avoid bad breath. If there’s no gum around, have a few sips of water and lick your lips. It’ll moisten it and feel more supple during the kiss.

# Go with the flow. Once you have a vague idea of how to perfect a first kiss with a new guy, you’ll never go wrong. So start slowly with a few lip grazes and work your way with each other. [Read: Tips to make your boyfriend want you more than ever!]

# End the series of first kisses with a warm soft hug, or even a gentle smile and a last soft kiss on his lips. It’ll be the perfect way to end the date and leave a lasting impression on him.

# Make a move one last time. Making a move to kiss him one final time before saying goodbye after both of you back away lets him know that you enjoyed his kiss and would love to initiate it some other time. [Read: How guys really fall in love with a girl in seven stages]

More at: http://9jaexclusive.net/ladies-kiss-guy-first-time-turn/

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Instead of keeping score, give in your own way because you want to.

We don't mean to, but we do it all the time: That unconscious tally—what you did, what I did. What I did that you didn't do. What I wish you would do, but know you won't, and resent you for— especially when I continue to do it anyway. Logically, I've always been aware that keeping score is the best way to destroy a relationship. And, despite all this, I've gone on to let it unravel many relationships, of all forms. Romantic, friendships, sometimes even familial.

It's normal. You can't help but notice when you are giving more than someone else. Does it mean you care more? That they care less? That you are just trying too hard?


Seeing Relationships As A Bank Account
"Some view relationships as a bank account. It is an interesting analogy, but it is inherently flawed as it is hard to quantify deposits and withdrawals," says dating expert and author of Screwing the Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love, Laurel House. How do you value and therefore quantify the difference between deposits that are financial, emotional, or time and effort-oriented?

"If this in in fact the measure that both partners in the relationship agree on, yet the weight of each type of deposit or withdrawal is not defined, it's easy to feel like there is an imbalance as one person in inevitably always going to feel as though they are the one making the greater contribution," says House. Obviously, this causes resentment.

The bank account concept makes you feel like you have a stack of IOUs piled up on your shoulder. You always feel indebted. Either that, or you always feel owed, maybe even used. Still, one party may be doing the majority of the financial deposits, while the other is doing the majority of the emotional deposits, and each one feel as though the scales are tipped in their generous favor, says House.

Why? Because it's a value system. The emotional contributor may feel that they are giving "all of themselves," tapping into their reserves to the point that they have nothing left to give and instead start to resent while the financial contributor feels used for always being the one who is expected to open their wallet.

Though each may start off feeling like they want to give, in the end it feels like they have to give. Soon they may start testing each other, thinking "If I pay for this, I expect them to respond by doing that for me." or "If I give of myself in this way, I secretly expect for them to buy me that as reciprocity." It's exhausting, stressful, and it slowly inserts a wedge between the couple, eventually breaking them apart.

What It's Like To Be "The Giver"
I've always been a giver—romantically, s*xually, in friendship—I get great satisfaction from pleasing another. This can be a beautiful, but also dangerous element to a personality. The joy of being a giver is hard to explain, but you have to be careful why you are giving. Is it because you know you can do something that will make someone else happy and that makes you happy? Or out of a sense of superiority? If you are the "good" one…are they the bad one? Are you setting yourself up in an egocentric relationship?

Maybe, maybe not. But it's something to consider. Sometimes, we can't help but get wrapped up in what we're giving and what those in our life aren't returning. And that's not truly generous anymore. To be truly generous is to expect nothing in return. And none of us are ever going to be like that in a relationship.

Why We're Keeping Score
The irony in it all is that we all have the option of discussing our disappointments and resentments in a productive way. We choose not to because we don't want to rock the boat—we don't want to "cause a problem" that will then be what destroys the relationship. See what we do there? It's not that silent resentment destroying you. It's the discussion of said resentment that might. But how is someone to know to stop engaging in that behavior that is hurting you if they don't even know they are doing it— or that it bothers you?

"I have been on both sides of this equation, and neither side was fulfilling or successful. In fact, it was toxic," says House. Creating measures or keeping score is a toxic poison that slowly seeps into the foundation of relationships, making them unsustainable. Instead of keeping score, give in your own way because you want to. If you stop wanting to give, then it's time to question your position in the relationship. Are you truly in it for love, or is it for convenience, safety, or something else?

This keeping score can come in so many forms. Maybe it's someone who never remembers your birthday, even if you always remember his or her day. Maybe it's a friend who never makes the effort to come to you, always making you go to them if you want to see each other. Maybe it's someone who accepts your love and support of their passions, but always no support in return. Maybe it's just someone who never has cash when the check comes around and yet always wants to go out.

If the behavior makes you feel bad. If you tally it up in your head and make note of it and it sticks with you, you are keeping score. I do it. I'm, in fact, doing it right now.

How "Tit For Tat" Destroys Relationships
"As a clinical psychologist I work with a lot of couples. This theme of keeping score is very common. I call it tit-for-tat," says Dr. Judy Rosenberg, a Los Angeles based psychologist. The mind is like a psychological bookkeeper and seems to remember the score at all times.

"It's as if people can't rest until the 'score' is even. A common score-keeping topic is the topic of having an affair. Having an affair is a very significant narcissistic injury. The hurt creates a need for retaliation and it can take many forms. One form it can take is to create an evening of the score by having an affair also. Another form it can take is that the hurt party shuts down and refuses to contribute to the relationship by going "on strike." No s*x, no dinners, no nothing," says Rosenberg.

Although the affair is a more exaggerated example, keeping score can be seen for more subtle behaviors. For example if one person in a relationship promises to take the garbage out and doesn't, the retaliation from the other person can show up in the form of "forgetting to pick up the person's laundry from the dry cleaner," for example. These passive aggressive means of attack are ways that the psyche is trying to "balance the books," so to speak.

How To Stop Keeping Score
In an effort to stop keeping score, I'm trying to be clearer about the things that hurt me, and to do so in a more solution-orientated (rather than accusatory) fashion. If you have issues with someone's behavior, you have to have an idea of what it is you do want, and that may mean having a bit of a conversation with yourself. I have a tendency of making excuses for other people, sometimes putting myself "on the hook" in order to let them off it.

Sure, they have a lot of stuff going on. So do you. You remember to be there for them. For me, it's always been easier to take a look at the bigger picture in order to better understand why people do the things they do, and why I respond in the way I do.

And sometimes, that also means taking responsibility for my own actions. Just because you are the one hurt doesn't mean that you are blameless—and they just may be "keeping a score" of their own. As long as this persists, a dynamic is developing between you, and it's just going to grow fiercer if you let it. Once the trust is damaged—and at this point in the equation, it is—what are you doing, anyway?

Read more at: /p4QCn5-rY

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Here’s what guys are really looking for (but won’t—or can’t tell you)!

As most women have noticed, there are two types of men. Behind curtain number one is the type of guy who is absolutely smitten with his girlfriend—he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above their own. The other is the type who’s labeled a “commitment-phobe”—he doesn’t appear to enjoy being in a relationship, acting as if his commitment is of the involuntary kind.

But, while it may appear that the second type of guy is in the majorty, statistics actually say otherwise. In fact, a recent study found that 95% of men openly admit that they see marriage as one of their ultimate life goals.

It all comes down to how a man sees commitment. To a guy, it’s like cracking a combination lock; if the numbers don’t line up, he’ll be emotionally distant and unavailable, rather than all in. He might even come up with several one-liners that women undoubtedly find frustrating: “I need to focus on my career,” “I just need space,” or, “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”

These one-liners aren’t lies. He really believes what he’s saying because the “numbers” of his commitment code aren’t lining up. In other words, when he says “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now,” what he really means is “I’m just not ready for a relationship with you.”

When he finally comes across that one woman who creates the right sequence of “numbers” to unlock his commitment combination, he’ll feel compelled to hang onto her. He’ll commit because he doesn’t want to risk losing her.

So, now we know commitment isn’t some sort of man allergy. But now you have to crack the code. Easier said than done, considering the average man isn’t great at communicating his emotional needs. That’s where I come in …

Here are five things guys (won’t tell you they) need before they’ll commit:

1. He needs to feel desire. One of the keys to learning how to make your man happy is basic, animalistic desire. In the pit of his stomach, he needs to want you, long for you, yearn for you. He needs to miss you when you’re not around and he needs to feel a pang of lust when he hasn’t seen you for some time. This desire is created through the play of opposites. He’ll crave you and then he catches you; he’ll miss you and then falls into you; he’ll lust for you and then you’ll surrender to him. It’s the creating and the release of tension over and over again.

The way you create this tension is through your s3xuality—tease him and then give in, playfully run from him and then allow him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares and then leave the room, send him s3xy notes during the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your powerful feminine qualities to contrast his serious and calculated masculine nature.

2. He needs to know that you respect him. Respect is a cardinal virtue; it is the foundation of any relationship that endures and stands the test of time. Respect can help reignite a relationship long after the flame of love and lust has sputtered. Many men, in fact, marry the woman who respects him, even over the woman who loves them. Men may sleep with, talk to, and care about the woman they love, but often love (apologies to John Lennon) isn’t all they need.

A lot of this has to do with the term “I love you.” To a man and a woman, this term can have different meanings. A man may interpret it as “don’t hurt me” or even “you’re trapped.” Men see the love from a woman as more of a commodity than something novel. Of course, the words make him feel good when he hears them, but they don’t sing to his soul. Men have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their entire lives. Not just some men … all men.

It comes from their cultural programming. This is the reason men are so competitive. When a woman can murmur in his ear her admiration (“I’m proud of you”), encouragement (“I believe in you”), and acknowledgement (“You’re a good man”), she speaks directly to a wounded part of his psyche that is desperately yearning for respect and approval.

So, figure out why you respect your man. What are you proud of him for? What can you acknowledge him for? How can you make him feel good about himself? Then, tell him. Don’t tell him merely that you love him, tell him why you love him.

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/easy-5-secrets-to-cracking-the-guy-code-and-winning-his-heart-forever/

With the New Year coming up fast, it’s time for you to start thinking about your goals and dreams for 2015. Focusing on things that make you happy should be a high priority. Unfortunately, some people don’t feel that they deserve to have a good life. Nothing could be further from the truth. You do deserve to be happy. Remember, happy people always choose happiness, so why not become one of them? Here are ten reasons why you deserve to be happy this new year.

1. You’ve dealt with a lot in life
Everyone has their own struggle and if you’re wondering if you should be happy, chances are yours is one of the tougher ones. While everyone should have a chance at happiness, those who have been through a rough time may not feel like they should. Maybe the current year is not successful, but the new year gives you a great chance to become happier and improve your life. Don’t miss this chance!

More at: www.9jaexclusive.net

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Honesty is key to a healthy relationship, but how much info is too much?

5 Things Your Guy Doesn't Need To Know

By Marie Gartee.

Having someone to talk to and confide in is one of the beautiful perks of being in a relationship. But if you think it's best to maintain a keep-no-secrets level of closeness, we've got to warn you: Not every detail has to be shared.


In fact, it can be advantageous to keep him in the dark about certain things, like these.

1. Your Crazy Sex Stories

Playfully bragging about past s,e.xual endeavors may seem harmless. But does your boyfriend really want a mental image of you and your ex joining the mile-high club? Not likely.

"It's bound to tap his insecurity and jealousy, and it never feels good to think about your partner being with other another person," says Emily Morse, s.e.xologist and creator of SexWithEmily.com.


Limit discussions about your s.e.xual history to whether you've been checked for STIs, if you have one, and how you want to use protection during se.x.

More from Shape: 6 Things You Should Always Ask For In A Relationship

2. Trivial Family Drama

Opening up about emotional issues you or family members have faced can bring you two closer together and it can let you know that he's a solid, empathetic guy, says Morse.

But trivial drama, like your mom arguing with her sister about who will host Thanksgiving this year? It isn't exactly need-to-know information, says Karen Sherman, Ph.D., a relationship psychologist and author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.

If you don't want to spill why Turkey Day becomes a war, don't feel like you have to.

3. A Random Lip Lock With a Guy Friend

Remember when you and that cute guy from your office made out last year because you had one too many margaritas at happy hour? Yeah, consider that classified info.

Telling him about that one drunken make out session will leave your partner paranoid that you have real feelings for the guy in accounting, no matter how many times you swear it was the tequila talking, says Sherman. You shouldn't keep full-blown, past relationships from your partner, but leaving out a lip lock here and there won't hurt.

More from Shape: Mindful Minute: Am I Settling In A Relationship?

4. That You So Don't Like His Family

It's okay if he complains about his parents. But you're technically an outsider, and your joining in on the gripe session can make him shift gears and feel protective of them, not to mention hurt him because it implies you don't like the people he loves.

Unless they've done something horrible or disrespected you, let him vent about his family and try not to judge, says Morse. Try to imagine how you would react if the tables were turned before you respond.

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/girl-5-things-guy-doesnt-need-know/

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A weekend getaway is great ... but how do you keep your relationship happy from day-to-day?

The New Year brings a time of cleansing and refocus. And for many couples, it provides an opportunity to start anew, get centered on things, and assess how to make things work even better.

If you want to improve your relationship, there are plenty of suggestions from experts that discuss trips, staycations, date night, and getting back to basics. While those things might assist, they usually only have a short-term effect; as soon as the romantic situation ends, the original challenges return.


Here are some crucial and fundamental ways you can improve your relationship the moment you stop reading this article:

1. Listen with the intent to understand, not to merely respond.

So many people claim "Communication is the cornerstone of a relationship." I don't agree. Not because communication isn't valuable ... but because for so many people, "communication" usually means speaking—sharing their view/opinion/why they are right. In truth, the best way to appreciate and understand where someone else is coming from is through active listening and empathy.

What to do: You don't have to agree with your partner ... just hear their view without asserting how right you think you are. Listening is how problems can get worked through.


2. Tolerance doesn’t work. Try acceptance.

Acceptance is critical ... not only of each other, but also of ourselves and our individual circumstances. You can improve your relationship instantly when you both love and accept your similarities, and respect and appreciate your differences.

What to do: Don't wish your partner was different. Accept them for who they are. If who they are (or how they act) doesn't work for you—or deal breakers have come to light—discuss it.

3. Support them … and then reinforce your support.

In any healthy relationship there are joint interests shared as a couple, and individual interests unique to each person. If it's important to your partner, make it important to you, too. Receiving support from the person you love most is really important. And letting your partner know that you care about them and their interests regularly counts.

What to do: Now, you don't have to join them in all their activities/passions, but paying attention to what matters to them—and taking a genuine interest in it—makes all the difference. Carve out some time to talk about what your partner is up to, without the need to share your stuff at that time. By allowing them to have center stage, they will feel valued by you. Then, let them reciprocate.

4. Get honest … and stay that way.

Trust, loyalty, being straight-up—whatever you want to call it, being honest is crucial for everyone. No one wants to hear negative things ... but they'd definitely prefer the ugly truth over a beautiful lie.

What to do: Yes, there are people who lie to make themselves seem better to others. But too often in established relationships, people aren't honest because they: 1) don't want to disappoint the other person; 2) don't want to feel judged for their choices; or 3) don't feel that their truth will be accepted.

For honesty to exist, a safe space must exist for telling the truth. So, make your relationship safe, and don't judge. If your partner liea, that has nothing to do with you. And by always telling them the truth, you are not only keeping your integrity, you also allow them their dignity.

5. Keep your individuality … now and always.

It seems "doing things together" as a couple is the unspoken (and assumed) "must" of successful relationships. However, too often, people then give up their sense of individuality once the relationship has grown—instead only speaking with "we" and "us", and giving up things that matter to them personally.

What to do: Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they give up (or worse, sacrifice) their personal wants, aspirations, and dreams. Life, bills, kids and many other things can delay or alter life plans. But individuality—including interests, growth, financial independence (even if it's just a separate account)—keeps people feeling good and secure about themselves outside the relationship ... which plays a part in feeling good and secure in the relationship.

6. Laugh … play.

Love is much better when you smile. All relationships have their ups and downs, and life can certainly deal out its share of challenges. But keeping things fun—and having fun together—is what keeps couples strong through good and bad times ... and the effects are instant and obvious.

What to do: Watching a comedy, playing practical jokes, or just keeping things playful between the two of you will make all the difference. Every time you do something that makes you or your partner smile, it drives a physical change and allows your body to release chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin (sometimes called the “cuddle hormone" in both of your brains. You'll feel happier and closer.

7. Acknowledge what matters to them.

Everyone likes acknowledgement for the things they do. In established relationships, sometimes we take our partner for granted. No matter how much someone loves you, everyone has a point where they get tired of waiting to feel appreciated.

What to do: As simples as it sounds, "please" and "thank you" go a long way to showing your partner that you value what they do. On a deeper level, tell them regularly that you are grateful for their efforts and actions. Support their efforts, and look for ways and opportunities to show them that you appreciate not only what they do, but also who they are.

8. Be affectionate.

Infatuation is what's present at the beginning of a relationship. But without continuous effort by both people, the initial excitement can fade and warm feelings can disappear over time. Unless both partners make a conscious effort to renew their feelings for one another—every day—you risk not only a physical disconnection, but an emotional one, as well.

What to do: The secret is always in the little things. Hold their hand. Sit next to them on the couch. Kiss them hello when you get home and goodbye when you leave. Walk next to them. Send them a loving text for no reason in the middle of the day.

To build and maintain a long lasting, successful relationship, you need to commit to your partner's emotional well-being. And when things are challenging or times are hard, that's when it's even more important to show them and put effort in

Read More at: http://9jaexclusive.net

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The truth behind why nice guys sometimes finish last!

It almost seems like most men fall into either the bad boy or the nice guy category. In my opinion, the ideal man is neither, but walks that fine line between the two. While some women say they want a nice guy, they usually end up dating bad boys. Here's why!

1. Their Personalities Don't Seem Genuine.


Nice guys are too nice. No one can always be that nice unless they're a saint. They are busy being nice instead of being real and women instinctually don't trust that. Bad boys "keep it real." Nice guys don't want to upset the apple cart.

2. They Don't Have Self-Respect!

No one respects a doormat. Nice guys don't set boundaries or make any real demands. A bad boy doesn't let a woman walk all over him or control him. Women can't respect a man they can control. No respect equals no attraction.

3. They're SO Predictable—Which Is Just Boring!

Most people lead boring, predictable lives, so they're attracted to people who are exciting and a bit unpredictable. Bad boys are always a challenge. Nice guys are never a challenge. Predictable plus no excitement plus no challenge equals I prefer a bad boy.

4. Loving A Bad Boy Is In Our Genes.

Women are designed to nurture. However, instead of doing this with children, they often end up doing it with bad boys. They think their love will save them. Nice guys rarely need to be saved.

5. Women Like To Feel Needed.

Nice guys don't usually need "to be fixed". Bad boys usually do, so they become a project. Some women think if they can "create" the perfect man, he will never leave them. Also, if they're busy fixing someone else, they don't have to look at what needs to be fixed in their own lives.

6. Their Sperm Is Weak.

Women are designed to procreate with the strongest possible genes. Bad boys are sending an unconscious message that they have great genes, so they're not afraid of losing the woman by misbehaving. Nice guys are sending a message that they don't think their genes are good enough, so they won't misbehave.

7. They Have A Fear Of intimacy.

If a woman is afraid of intimacy, she subconsciously knows she can avoid it with a bad boy, since she can never get close enough to him to have to go there. A nice guy will eventually want a commitment, and that's scary.

8. They Sometimes Have Low Self-Esteem.

We don't feel comfortable with people who treat us better than we treat ourselves. If you don't think much of yourself, the bad boy is simply reinforcing your negative belief. A nice guy is treating you in a way you're not familiar with.

9. The S.x Isn't As Mind-Blowing.

Women feel a nice guy won't be good in bed. They sometimes like to be manhandled and think a nice guy won't be able to take control and get the job done. A bad boy comes across as being able to deliver, even though that may not always be the case.

10. Bad Boys Are Totally S.xy.

Have you ever seen a bad boy who wasn't hot? I'm sure there are a few, but they wouldn't be able to get away with half the stuff they did if they didn't look so good. Meanwhile, when a woman describes someone as a nice guy, she means, "He's not hot."

11. They Aren't As Charming.

Nice guys don't always know what to say and are sometimes at a loss for words. Bad boys can be very charming and know exactly what women want to hear. However, they eventually switch over to being selfish. By the time they reveal their true colors, the woman has fallen for them and has a hard time letting go.

12. They're Not As Strong Physically.

Historically, men have protected women — physically and otherwise. Bad boys give the illusion of being able to protect women, while with nice guys, women aren't so sure. Life is all about balance. Until men learn how to do that, more often than not, women will choose the bad boy, until they realize that his bad qualities outweigh his good ones.

More at: www.9jaexclusive.net

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Hint: the secret to getting him to change is to lift him up, not tear him down.

At this time of year, we all think about changes we need to make. Likely, our love relationships come under scrutiny at this time, too.

It is oh-so tempting to try to fix one thing or another about our mate, because then we would be so happy. Or, better yet, wouldn't it be so nice if your partner "cared enough" to just make the changes that would improve your relationship?


The truth is that we can't expect someone else to change; we can only change our own behavior.

As a psychologist specializing in relationships, I believe there are 3 tips for approaching the topic of change and conflict in your relationship:

1. Remember, you are part of the problem.
You and your mate act differently with each other than the perfect personas you share with the outside world. You see one another's flaws. It's possible that outsiders say your mate is fabulous, yet you know their imperfections. But, be aware that your emotions skew some of your thinking and unwillingness to look at your part in issues you think your partner starts.

Often, we aren't even aware of our own behaviors adversely affecting our relationships.

Let me be more specific: Too often, I've heard a person tell their mate about something that made them unhappy, but with a tone that's condescending, putting the other person down. Why? What purpose does that serve?

As an example, I'm reminded of many couples where the woman complains because her guy never opens up. He privately tells me that he doesn't, however, because every time he attempts to, he gets criticized.

2. If something upsets you, discuss it privately.
If you say something hurtful to the other person, it's not likely to make him or her feel all warm and fuzzy about you. So, you're not likely to get a positive response back, or any response for that matter. While you are initially upset, you're not likely to feel any better now that you've spoken up.

To make matters worse, some of you don't hesitate to bring out these issues in front of others. This is probably one of the biggest "no-nos" you can commit in relationships. Humiliating your partner in front of others is a complete breach in trust. Additionally, though you may not realize it, the other folks you're with feel very uncomfortable as well.

3. When raising a concern talk about how it makes you feel.
Being a psychologist, I realize that there are emotions behind the statements we make. You're likely angry and, under that, actually feeling hurt. The good part of being human is having emotions; the bad part of being human is having emotions. So, rather than feeling vulnerable and possibly getting hurt, we protect ourselves. Likely, the condescending tone you use is really a form of self-protection.

Though uncomfortable initially, and perhaps even a bit awkward, the way to communicate about something that's upsetting you is not to blame your partner or point a finger. Rather, objectively describe the upsetting behavior and then express the feelings it brought up in you.

Here's an example: "When you came home an hour late and didn't call, I got scared and felt like I didn't matter." Be vulnerable. Your mate will be far more receptive to hearing you and willing to respond to what's upsetting.

So, there you go: three simple steps. You can do them at any time of the year to bring to tackle the tough topic of changing behaviors in your relationship

Read more at: www.9jaexclusive.net

Unfortunately, the world is a lonely place for many people, especially for those who have been hurt for many times. In spite of heartbreaks you should look for a person who will really appreciate you. We often suffer from love, because it is part of pain and part of something wonderful at the same time. Sometimes it’s necessary to struggle for your love and happiness. That’s why you shouldn’t become despondent if something is going wrong in your relationships. You should realize that you are wonderful and unique in this world. Just remove the blocks of unworthiness and let yourself feel happy and loved. Here are 7 reasons why you deserve love for you to read and keep in mind.
1. You’re special and unique

You should always remember that you are special and unique. Every person has talents and everyone is capable of setting goals and achieving them. I’m sure you will meet a real connoisseur of your uniqueness and beauty. You may dislike certain peculiarities in your appearance and various features in your character, but someone else will adore and appreciate these things.
2. This world is full of wonderful people

Nowadays there are over billion people on our planet. I mean, you have the right of choice and if one guy doesn’t attract you, there are millions of others who can make you happy. It is very pleasant to realize that there are people who are praying and looking for you. You will be walking on air when you finally meet your significant other.

Read also – 7 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up When You’re Feeling Lonely
3. Love is a free feeling

The world is a place of constant change, but love is a permanent feeling that can be received or given by everyone. You don’t have to be privileged to experience this magical feeling. Both rich and poor people can love each other and there are no barriers in real love. Love is the most beautiful human feeling that makes people sacrifice everything, give away everything without the slightest desire to get anything in return. The main point is to reduce your bias and you will be able to open your heart to a true and unbiased love.
4. Give love a try

There are many wondrous things, feelings and emotions in this life. It is desirable to try and experience as much positive and pleasant things as possible. If you try every day to find a romance, you will be once rewarded for your strength and persistence. Never allow yourself to believe that you will never have another successful chance at love. Just remember that you are too blessed and too young to be stressed and depressed. Give it a try!
5. Love doesn’t require perfection

Love usually helps people to see an imperfect person perfectly. Don’t waste your valuable time and energy trying to become perfect for someone to love you. Real love makes people blind to your negative qualities and problems. Nobody’s perfect and you are no exception. Itэs better to improve your character and develop such qualities as kindness, honesty and decency in order to be appreciated and loved by other people.

Read also – 8 Fun Ways to Enjoy Being Single
6. Love yourself

If you want to be loved by others, you should first accept yourself and learn how to love yourself. Look into the mirror and realize how beautiful and amazing you are. Forget about problems, responsibilities, failures and enjoy the moment. Self love is a core of your well-being, mood and joy. Remember how many positive and great things you have done in your life.
7. You’ll appreciate it

If you dare to fall in love for the first time or once again, you will certainly appreciate this feeling and emotional bond. I understand that negative experiences and past pain usually ensure you that there are no other people who truly love you, but you should believe that you have a lot of chances to become happy. Your past experiences can often play into your hands and make you more mature and charming. Maturity usually appears when a person has gone through a devastating experience that changed their vision of the world.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how the character is built.”Experience is a wonderful teacher that can make your future life and love even sweeter. Don’t fear to fall in love because you will appreciate your love.

All people are equal on this planet. Everyone has the opportunity to love and to be loved. Love yourself, work out, develop your inner world and one day another wonderful person will fall in love with you and prove that you deserve love. Do you know some other reasons everyone deserves love? Share your point of view, please.

more at: www.9jaexclusiv.net

Love: How To Be A Good Girlfriend & Gal Pal

Nurture both your friendships AND your romantic relationships.

A quality gal pal has certain characteristics that make her valuable, just like a good girlfriend does in a romantic relationship. We tend to separate these roles, although the core qualities are the same — the act of living authentically. In other words, you value certain things in all relationships.

Example: If you value honesty in your gal pal friendships, you probably seek honesty in your romantic pairings as well. And if you want time with your friend or romantic partner that is focused on being together, rather than endless text and phone call interruptions, it means you are interested in quality time together rather than simply avoiding being alone.


So, does it make sense that you can practice relationship skills in both friendships and romance, which will make you a better friend and a better significant other? If "yes" is your answer, you're in the right place.

3 tips for being a good gal pal:

Be sure your friendship is a good fit. If one of you likes to read personal growth books and meditate, and the other just wants to go out drinking and look for men, you aren't in alignment. Your energy is different and you're in opposite places in your lives. Differences are welcome but opposites can make for difficult and stressful relationships. It's nice to be able to discuss things you both find interesting. Otherwise, you may find yourself simply pretending to listen in an attempt to pacify the other person — and that is lying and being inauthentic. Remember that you have to be a good friend in order to attract a quality friend. The world is full of people who are broken wanting someone else to fix them, but it just doesn't work that way. Those relationships, whether friendships or romantic, are doomed and full of blame and resentment.
Develop ground rules in the beginning. What do you agree to do if an argument or uncomfortable situation arises? Will you talk it out right away or send an email explaining your viewpoints to one another so there's time to think it through? Will you promise to keep it to yourselves while you're figuring it out or is discussing it with others okay?If you don't have a system, the conflict can grow and fester or end your friendship in one big blowup of emotions. It may seem unnatural at first but I've had wonderful, trusted gal pals tell me they never liked the guy I was dating although they later told me they did. Another said she went to an event that turned out badly, and that she only went to spare my feelings. I hadn't wanted to go either! My gut feeling was to leave, but I didn't want to let her down. It's really important to allow honesty without being hurt by it. Remember, pacifying someone is dishonest and disrespectful. Make a pact that it's okay to speak up at any point if your intuition tells you something isn't feeling right.
Keep it positive. Although your gal pal can offer great advice, be sure and write out your feelings rather than dump your problems on her. This will allow you to gain clarity on the issue, and I've found it often inspires a great solution, independent of anyone else. Quality friends need to be treated as such—they are "no dumping zones". Write down your feelings until there's nothing left you can think of to write. Get it out. Gain clarity on the real issue. You may solve it yourself or at least you will have less to discuss with her and it will be a much more positive, solution-oriented discussion. Remind each other that you are there for them after they've journaled their feelings.


I always check with my girl friends when I need to vent to find out if they are open to listening. You may say, "She is my friend. That's her job." While that may be true, it's your job to value and respect her. Remember, she has things going on in her life, too. Be sure you schedule lots of fun things to do and keep your friendship light-hearted. That way, when a serious discussion arises, there is greater balance. Friendships can become toxic just like romantic relationships when there's too much doom and gloom and not enough sunshine and laughter.
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Now let's relate these tips for being a good gal pal to being a good girlfriend in a romance.

Choose someone who is a good fit for you rather than just anyone who happens to be available. That may sound well, obvious, but people do it every day to avoid being alone. There are people out there who share your values of honesty, respect, etc and it's much better to keep looking than get in a bad situation out of desperation, don't you think?
Next, set some ground rules or boundaries as to how you choose to handle conflict before it arises so you understand each other. If one of you likes to hash it out immediately and the other wants to sleep on it, come to an agreement on a happy medium so both of you feel respected and valued.
And keep it positive. Guys and gals are constantly complaining about their complaining mates, which is funny when you think about it. They are doing the exact thing they dislike, only to other people. Instead, make your relationship fun. Couples call it quits when things get stressful and negative but they usually don't put it in so many words. Trust me. These are the words: "It's not fun anymore." Making fun out of nothing is skill and one we would all be smart to develop. Stop taking things so seriously and laugh.

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How many times have you felt that you've entered a relationship too sooner than you thought you would? Well, it could have its repercussions too.

Here's how to mind your step...


Often it takes time to understand that getting into a relationship in a hurry is not the best thing to do. And often people understand it the hard way. However, do not get disheartened. There are reasons why things fall apart, so that you can emerge stronger the next time around. Here are a few reasons why you must never hurriedly enter a relationship.

You maybe going in for a rebound: When people hurry into a relationship, most often, it is clearly because they are going in for a rebound. These relationships rarely succeed, because you have just gone into it thinking it will pull you through your past relationship, but it often does the reverse. It makes you vulnerable and all that you do is compare the two relationships.

Can make a wrong choice: When you hurry into a relationship, you may often not realise that this is not the best one for you. And by the time you do, it's too late and you may end up hurting yourself. So, rather than regretting about it later, it's always best to take your time to know and understand the person than jumping into a commitment that may just harm you.

Time works everything out: When you take your time to enter into a relationship, it often works better than when you enter into it in a hurry. Time will also help you in understanding whether you really want to be in a relationship or not.

More at: www.dorovibes.com

40 days to presidential elections. If you're
voting
remember these factors:
1. The Chibok Girls.
2. NNPC Scam.
3. Police pension fund.
4. Missing 20Billion.
5. $9million Arms deal.
6. Bomb Blasts.
7. Immigration job scam.
8. Petroleum pump price.
9. Devaluation of Naira.
10. Oil theft.
11. Power outage.
12. Selling of Nepa.
13. Selling of Refineries.
14. Skyrocketed Nepa Bills.
15. ASUU & poly Strike.
16. Doctors Strike.
17. National Assembly tragedy.
18. Stella's Oduah Aviation Scam
20. Kerosene subsidy--------------
They Didn't Raise 21Billion for Ebola; They
Didn't
Raise 21Billion for dilapidated hospitals; They
didn't raise 21Billion for Military Weapons
against
Boko Haram; They Didn't raise 21Billion for
flood
Victims; They Didn't raise 21Billion for
children
dying of Vaccine preventable disease; They
didn't
raise 21Billion for the homeless>:O BUT they
all
gathered to raise 21Billion for

Credit to Maxlord Of www.dorovibes.com

With the holidays and proposal season in full swing, there seems to be an unavoidable sense of romance in the air. This is great and all for couples, but what about the single ladies who are out weathering the season by themselves and doing their own thing? Whether you’re single by choice or single due to circumstance, don’t forget all of the wonders that come with the title. Yeah, boyfriends can be cool — they have a time and a place — but they are not as cool as pizza. And they will definitely never be as cool as puppies. If you’re a single lady, we’re sure you can attest to these 30 things that will forever and always beat having a boyfriend.

Read More at: www.9jaexclusive.net