₦airaland Forum

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He Captured It: One more down, thousands to go.

Source: Facebook

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New Dad Mark Zuckerberg, The Facebook CEO posted the photo on his official Facebook timeline today.

he captioned it below:

"My next book for A Year of Books is Quantum Physics for Babies!

Just kidding. It's actually World Order by Henry Kissinger -- about foreign relations and how we can build peaceful relationships throughout the world. This is important for creating the world we all want for our children, and that's what I'm thinking about these days.

I am loving reading to Max. Next year looks like it's going to be A Year of Children's Books!

Source: Facebook and http://www.dorovibes.com/2015/12/mark-zuckerberg-shares-adorable-photo.html

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It's good for you, too!

Forget caking on the makeup, getting spray tans, or drastically, botox or plastic surgery. The key to making yourself look more attractive to others lies in your diet.

A study in the science journal Biology Letters has found that people have a preference for that yellowy, golden glow that healthy people have and when they're looking for a potential partner, they can pick up on the tiniest clues that indicate good health. (And just a hint, plant chemicals called carotenoids give your skin a slightly pigmented look.) Yes, apparently we can subconsciously tell if the person next to us getting their recommended daily dose of fruits and vegetables just by looking at their skin tone.


And it makes sense, right? We're more likely to go for the bronzed god or goddess than the pale and sickly-looking one (unless, they're a vampire, I guess).

In the study, researchers from the universities of York, St. Andrews and Cambridge in the UK, showed 56 volunteers photos of 10 male and 10 female faces. They created two versions of the photos, one where the subjects had a healthy complexion and the other where they did not. The study participants were asked to rate the people in the photos by attractiveness. Then, researchers showed the volunteers "abstract" versions of the photos with the same varied tones, but the faces were mixed up so they were unrecognizable. This was to see if people are just generally drawn to the color yellow, instead of seeing it as a sign of good health. They found that yellowy quality of the abstract images didn't make a difference.

It's interesting to see that we can pick up on subtle clues to good health in a potential partner. And it's good news too, since not only will your body feel great and energized with better eating habits, the state of your love life might be looking up, too

Source: www.9jaexclusive.net

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As a woman, keeping your vag*na healthy and sweet is important your s*xual organs are very valuable and must be well cared for. Here are 7 simple tips to help you do just that.

The human race has always found expression of affection in s*x and romantic interaction.

Over the years humans have demonstrated the importance of a healthy s*x and love, getting married, having relationships and turning s*x into a business.

Undoubtedly, s*x and love are very important to our general wellbeing, as a man or as a woman.

This by implication means our s*x organs are very valuable and must be well cared for.

So, as a woman, keeping your vag*na healthy and sweet is important.

Here are 7 simple tips to help you do just that:

Wash your vag*na as often as possible. Vaginal odour is one of the worst problems a woman can face. To prevent this, wash at least twice a day with a gentle, unscented soap. Make sure you wash the pubic hair around the vag*na. They usually retain sweat and dirt which in turn can create foul odour.

Give your vag*na a regular haircut or shave. Some people crave a hairy vag*na, but keeping too much vag*nal hair is not so wise. Truth is, the shorter the vag*nal hair, the lower the chances of odour and infections. Women who have the time to constantly clean up may not have a problem with this. This is not always so if your hygiene standards are high. But shorter is cleaner and better.

Let our vag*na breathe with the right lingerie. Use the right lingerie which will allow air around your vagina because, leaving the area damp leaves you open to a bacterial invasion. Cotton underwear is preferably to nylon and other airless fabric.

Get medical help once you notice an infection. It is not wise to watch a vag*nal infection develop. Once you notice an itch, strange colouration of vag*nal (menstrual) emissions, strange feelings or noticeable signs of infections — say foul odour, rashes or boils, head to the hospital. The danger of leaving infections untreated goes beyond odours. Your fertility as woman is also at risk.

Change your underwear regularly. A woman should never wear an underwear item for more than a day. Vaginal secretions make it totally unhealthy, damp and a ready ground for bacteria to multiply. This is even more important during menstruation.

No perfumes around the vag*na. If you have odour around the vag*na, spraying perfume will not help you. Perfume will make matters worse by causing a PH imbalance which is not good. So the best option is to up your hygiene.

Make your vag*na taste sweet with good food. It has been proven that what you eat affects the taste of your vag*nal juices. So eat the right kind of fruits, especially those high in natural sugar— oranges, apples, mangoes etc. They have a positive effect on vag*nal taste, same as with yoghurt and honey. On the other hand, avoid fruits and vegetables that give bad breath — like onions, garlic. They have an equally negative effect on vag*nal taste, just like alcohol, coffee and spicy food.

A bonus tip is to use baby wipes instead of the usual tissue paper after a visit to the toilet.

Read more: http://9jaexclusive.net/for-women-7-important-tips-to-keep-your-vagina-clean-sweet-and-healthy/

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People are born happy, however, many adults don’t cultivate their happiness and they think they are unlucky and unhappy because it’s their fate. While fate is cruel at times, you are the master of your life and you can change whatever humans are able to change. I know many people who were born in poor families, who faced hunger and who are happy no matter what. I also know many people who were born in rich families, who have everything they want, who are successful but not happy. The key to happiness is unknown to us. But I did a small research, talked to both rich and poor people, and here are seven important things happy people do before going to bed.
1. Pray

Whether you go to church or not, you should know at least one prayer. Have you ever seen people who don’t have anything but they fall asleep and wake up happy every single day? I’ve seen many poor people and when I asked them about the secret of their happiness, most of them said that they pray before they go to bed. My mom also taught me to pray before sleep. She taught me to be thankful for living another day of my life. No matter your mood and day, pray before you go to bed to fall asleep faster and be happier when you wake up in the morning.
2. Read

Stress is inevitable part of life, so it’s important to learn how to reduce your stress levels before sleep in order to fight insomnia. Most happy and successful people read a good book before going to bed. They claim that it helps calm the mind and become sleepy. Avoid reading books online. Turn off your TV, close your laptop about an hour before bed, and enjoy reading an interesting book.

Read also – 10 Habits of Highly Successful People
3. Avoid alcohol

Drinking alcohol before going to bed can help you relax and fall asleep faster. However, it can also make you feel anxious and you can wake up in the middle of the night and lie awake till the morning. Happy people don’t drink alcohol, coffee and tea before bedtime. Warm milk with honey is one of their favorite bedtime drinks.
4. Go for a walk

Instead of watching TV or spending your evening on social media, take a short stroll. Walking is a good exercise, mood enhancer, and it’s good for your overall health. Happy people love to enjoy the nature and they do it as often as possible. Going for a stroll right before going to bed will help clear your mind and promote a better sleep at night.
5. See the stars come out in the sky

If the sky is full of bright stars, enjoy it before going to bed. You will fight stress, clear your mind, and find the solution to a difficult situation. Happy people know how to enjoy their lives to the fullest and they notice small things such as stars. Unhappy people notice nothing, except their problems, mood swings and lack of money.
6. Write a journal

While it’s always better to share your feelings, thoughts and ideas with your family or close friend, sharing them with your journal is a great option too. First, you know that your journal won’t tell anyone your secrets and feelings (if you keep it private). Second, you don’t have to wait for your mom to accomplish her tasks or your friend to visit you. Your journal is always ready to support you and show the best way out. Happy people write a journal before they go to bed in order to let go of their negative feelings and thoughts, or just find a solution to their problems. They also share their most creative ideas with their journal so that they can read them early in the morning. If you’ve never had a journal, maybe it’s time to adopt this habit today.

Read also – 10 Habits That Can Steal Your Happiness
7. Forgive their enemies

Even the happiest person in the world has enemies, so don’t worry if you have ones. But you should never let your enemies hurt your feelings, spoil your life and prevent you from being happy and successful. Happy people always forgive their enemies and people who do something bad to them. The best time to do it is right before going to sleep. You can do it before praying. When you forgive your enemies, you feel better and sleep better. Overthinking is a bad habit that can lead to insomnia. Remember it.

Credit and more: http://9jaexclusive.net/7-things-happy-people-do-before-going-to-bed/

You may think you’re in a truly happy relationship, but do you ever get disappointed by your partner’s behavior now and then?

Sometimes, even the most loving partner may subconsciously behave in a certain way or say a few things that can hurt their lover.

If it’s just a rare occurrence, you could overlook it.

But what if it’s something you notice all the time?

Relationship don’t always fall apart because lovers cheat on each other or argue until one of them packs their bags and leaves.

The truth is, couples almost always fall apart because of disappointments and resentments.

Relationship turn offs that can hurt romance

Every time you put up with something that hurts you, you’re only digging a hole in your relationship.

Remember, if your partner truly loves you, they may not want to hurt you intentionally.

Sometimes, a few of the hurtful things they do may be subconscious and something they don’t realize themselves.

You don’t need to always confront your partner about it, or sulk and yell at them. At times, all they need is a little nudge to realize their mistakes, so they can correct it themselves. [Read: Top 20 reasons for divorce that most couples overlook]

18 relationship turn offs that can ruin your romance

Here are 18 relationship turn offs that you need to keep an eye on. If you’re indulging in any of these turn offs *even if it’s only subconsciously*, it probably means you need to do some soul searching and ask yourself if you truly respect and love your partner.

And on the other hand, if you see these signs in your partner, rather than just put up with it, talk to them about it and tell them how you feel about this kind of behavior.

After all, your silence won’t help your partner realize that their subtle behavior is pushing both of you apart, just a little with each passing day.

#1 Insecurity and jealousy. Does your partner make you feel insecure by giving someone else more attention or by flirting with them outrageously while you stand next to them shuffling your foot in painful embarrassment? Insecurity and jealousy is one of the biggest reasons for egos and anger to creep into the relationship.

#2 Bad mouthing. Insulting a partner’s parents or their family is so common that almost all couples indulge in a bit of accusation and bad mouthing now and then. But there’s a difference between pointing out a person’s flaw and blatantly insulting them for it, don’t you think?

#3 Boundary issues. Do you give your partner the space they want, whether they ask for it or not? Not understanding where to give space in a relationship is a big relationship turn off. Don’t constantly try to make yourself feel involved in your partner’s life even when they want to do something by themselves.

#4 Withholding s*x. This is something partners use when they’re angry or upset. They pretend like everything’s okay, and yet, they push their partner away or avoid having s*x. If you’re indulging in something like this, you may believe you have a right to avoid s*x if you don’t feel like having it.

But really, are you avoiding s*x because you don’t feel like having s*x or is it because you’re upset? And if you’re upset, isn’t it so much better to just tell your partner what’s on your mind instead of using s*x as a tool to hurt them?

#5 Compromises. You don’t like compromising for your partner, or even if you do compromise for them, you do so with a disgruntled expression stuck on your face. And yet, you expect your partner to always compromise for your sake no matter what you ask of them.

#6 The third opinion. Do you really take your partner’s advice, or do you just ignore it and place more value on a third person’s opinions? If you give more importance to someone else’s opinion and care less about your own lover’s opinions, even if it’s a decision that directly impacts your relationship, it only shows that you don’t respect your partner and think less of them. [Read: 7 secret signs your relationship is starting to go bad]

#7 Bad listeners. Do you listen to your partner while talking to them, or are you only focused on getting your point across? Do you constantly say “what did you say?” to your partner each time they’re trying to say something to you? Bad listening habits in a relationship will definitely infuriate your partner or make them feel neglected. And some day, this turn off will push both of you away from each other.

#8 Cruel ego boosts. Have you ever complimented someone else in public in front of your partner, while completely ignoring to compliment your own partner for doing the same thing? Putting your partner down and hurting them subtly in public can give you an ego boost, but it’ll also cost you your relationship over time.

#9 Silent treatment. Don’t ignore your partner or give them the silent treatment by not talking to them just because they say something hurtful in a conversation. It’ll make your partner hate you for walking away from the conversation, and they’ll stop being truthful to you or trying to communicate with you because they know you don’t like hearing the truth.

#10 Pushy behavior. Don’t constantly force your partner to do things your way because you think your way is the only way to do something. It may seem like a petty issue, but your constant pushiness may force your partner to turn rebellious and do things just to oppose you and hurt you, so they can get their independence back from you.

#11 You think you’re too good. This is something you need to ask yourself, because no one else can answer this for you. Do you always take your partner’s opinions into consideration each time you need to take decisions? Or do you secretly believe *somewhere in the back of your mind* that you’re awesome and your partner is just too dumb to offer any insightful advice to you?

No one but you may know this answer, but if you think your partner isn’t smart, your condescending behavior towards them may give away the disdain you have for them. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

#12 Cutting conversations. Do you ever cut your partner across when they’re trying to make a point? Or if your partner is trying to explain something to you at a store, and someone else *like a pushy store salesman* interferes to explain the same thing to you, do you look away from your partner and continue the conversation with this new person who interrupted the both of you? It’s a clear sign that you subconsciously don’t value your partner or think they have anything important to say.

#13 Anger issues. One of the biggest relationship turn offs is when you direct all your rage and anger at your partner, even when they do nothing wrong. You may be pissed off with the world, but you still direct all that anger towards your partner and treat them like a punching bag because you don’t have the nerve to confront the world or direct the anger at the people who actually hurt you.

#14 Big sacrifices. Do you behave like making time for your partner is such a big sacrifice? When your partner asks you to spend some time with them, do you get annoyed or behave like sparing time for your loved ones is a luxury you can’t afford? Careful here, because your partner may not be around for too long if you treat them so disrespectfully!

#15 Letting yourself go. So you’ve hooked yourself a s*xy fish and you have that ring on your finger. You’re all happy and life is bliss. But now that you’re in a stable relationship, have you let yourself go and piled on several pounds, or have you started dressing down and leaving it all unshaved and unkempt?

Don’t take your partner for granted and expect them to always stay crazily in love with you and lust for you when you don’t make the effort to look and feel your best for them.

#16 Selfishness. Selfishness is a relationship turn off that’s one of the worst traits in a partner. Do you always look for the better deal or an advantage in your relationship? It could be as small at eyeing the larger slice of pizza, or as big as hoarding all the money in your own bank account while emptying your partner’s account dry. But this behavior of yours would definitely make your partner see through your intentions and distrust you very soon.

#17 Manipulative and controlling behavior. For a person who is unable to directly confront their partner over an issue, it’s always easier to resort to emotional manipulation and subtle controlling behavior. You may think it’s the easiest way to control your partner, but once they realize just how deviously you’ve manipulated them to lose their own self, they’ll leave you and never look back even if you beg them to take you back.

#18 Taking kindness for granted. In love, both partners are expected to love each other unconditionally and be completely giving towards each other. But if you hold yourself back and take your partner’s kindness and love for granted, you’d be hurting them each time you use them to get what you want.

And soon, you partner may start getting wary and they too may stop loving you unconditionally. And eventually, all there would be in the relationship are two people who don’t trust each other, and are constantly competing to get the better deal. Is that even love anymore?

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/most-lovely-18-relationship-turn-offs-that-can-ruin-your-romance/

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Before you got a driver's license, you learned to drive. Before marriage, learn these 4 skills.

Before someone gets a driver's license, they take a drivers ed course, practice with the help of an experienced driver, and closely study the rulebook. These are all valuable things to do, because driving without the necessary skills would make someone a menace on the roads, and a danger to them self and others.

The same thought process applies to marriage, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset.


Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you're spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one.

Here are the 4 main skill ares you need:

1. Emotional self-regulation. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, especially with anger, can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months (or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things), you've got some important learning to do.

2. Communication. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.

3. Conflict resolution. All couples have differences. Successful couples know how to start with a "his-way" and a "her-way" and end up with an "our-way" that they both feel good about. That's true whether the issue is a simple one, like what movie to to see on Saturday night, or big issues like where to live, how to handle money, and how to keep your s*x life passionate.

4. Positivity. Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner's jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express affection, you are offering "dollops" of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.

The moral of the story?

Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever.

Credit: http://9jaexclusive.net/never-get-married-unless-youve-learned-4-critical-skills/

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Relationships can, at times, be far more complicated than it seems on the surface.

You could see a cute couple who are happy together and assume they’re going to be hitched for life.

And before you know it, the happy couple could break up and go their own ways?

Still water always runs deep.

What seems perfectly stable on the outside may not be so on the inside.

Sometimes, you may think you’re in a perfectly happy relationship when in truth, you may be heading towards a turbulent future with your lover.

[Read: What makes a relationship a good one?]

Secret signs of a bad relationship

When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then.

But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time.

Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds.

Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse. [Read: 16 tips to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]

The 7 secret signs that reveal a bad romance in progress

Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in.

Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.

#1 Eye rolling. Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.

But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one off incident. But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?

#2 Dominance. Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling partner]

#3 Loss of respect. Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are. [Read: The reasons behind why you’re slowly falling out of love]

#4 Speaking ill of each other. Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and definitely avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.

On the other hand, some people love talking about their partner’s inefficiencies to their friends, as if to expect solace and comfort. But by speaking ill of your partner to others, you’re only reassuring yourself that your partner is not good enough for you. How can a relationship last when all you’re trying to do is convince yourself that your lover is not good enough for you?

#5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions. Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner.

If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you.

Read more: http://9jaexclusive.net/top-7-secret-signs-reveal-bad-relationship/

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When it comes to impressing someone you like, your personality always trumps over physical attraction.

But that doesn’t mean we should overlook appearances.

Presents always look better gift wrapped, and the odds of someone giving you a second glance also increases when you look better on the outside.

[Read: How to look really good while trying to catch someone’s attention]

Physical attraction and s3x appeal

Physical attraction is a person’s ability to create a s*xual desire in someone else.

If you’re physically attractive, you’d find it easier to attract someone you like, at least for the first conversation.

But by no means does it mean that physically attractive people have better relationships or are better lovers.

Everyone has their own expectations when it comes to physical attraction.

And what you have to remember about physical attraction is that you can’t please everyone or attract everyone no matter how hard you try.

To actually win someone over and make them like you, focus on your personality. It’ll give you a much better chance of attracting people over the long term.

Physical attraction, dates and love

If you consider yourself to be physically attractive, you’d feel more confident about your own ability to attract the opposite s*x.

And as much as personality matters in a relationship, your attractiveness plays a bigger part while exchanging stolen glances for the first time.

When you meet someone on a blind date, wouldn’t you make an assumption about the person you’re on the date with even before both of you exchange the first sentence? If that isn’t the effect of physical attraction, then what is?

Physical attraction and your perception

To truly understand how you can improve your physical attractiveness and attract people, you need to understand its role in your life, and how it affects your behavior.

If you were in a room and an attractive person of the same s*x as yours walked in, do you feel threatened by their presence?

If you feel uncomfortable or threatened each time someone attractive walks in, you’re putting yourself down through your body language. When you feel convinced that the other person is better looking and more eye catching than you are, you’d feel weaker, more helpless and more annoyed, especially if the one you’re trying to impress appears to be giving this good-looker all their attention.

And when you feel weaker in front of another person you perceive as better looking, you’d lose your confidence and you’d end up ruining the odds of impressing the one you like. Physical attractiveness is a perception, and you’re the only one who can convince you whether you’re attractive or bad looking. It’s all in your head, and how attractive you look starts and ends with your own perception of your physical appearance.

Physical attraction and interactions

If you’re physically attractive, you may threaten people more easily. People you interact with for the first time may be wary of you, because they may assume you’re too full of yourself. But the very second you smile or speak warmly to them, they’d open up and get warmer towards you.

Attractive people with a warm personality are always liked and admired by everyone else. If you find someone attractive and are having a conversation with them for the first time, you’d find it harder to lie to them or talk rudely to them. In fact, when a friendly person you find attractive walks up to you, you’d instinctively show off your best side and speak in a flirty manner even if your partner is around!

Physical attractiveness can make your world a friendlier place, but it can’t give you love. After all, only the young and the careless fall head over heels in love solely on grounds of physical attraction.

But all said and done, physical attractiveness does matter, whether you’re in love or still looking for love. It gives you the second glance you need to attract someone, and it shows people you respect yourself and take care of yourself.

13 ways to increase physical attraction and look hotter

Now that you understand the part physical attraction plays in impressing the opposite s3x and how you can use it to look better and feel better about yourself, here are 13 ways on how to increase physical attraction that can help you jump a few notches in the attraction meter overnight!

#1 Look good. It’s harsh but true, appearances do matter. After all, physical attractiveness relies solely on outward appearances. Run a few miles every day and shed that excess fat. If you love yourself and care about the image you’re portraying to the world, you won’t let yourself go.

Your physique plays a very big part in physical attraction. If you’re oversized, you could still look cute and beautiful. But physical attraction isn’t about being cute. It’s about creating the s*xual desire.

#2 Stand up straight. A person who walks tall with an erect back catches attention all the time. Good posture will always make you tower above everyone else even if you’re shorter than the people around you, and it’ll definitely make you appear more physically attractive too.

#3 Clothes that looks good. Dress in clothes that look good on you, and accentuate your assets. Do you have a favorite pair of jeans? You probably like it because you feel it makes you look better than your other jeans. This may give you a yardstick to choose other clothes that can help you appear more attractive.

#4 Don’t feel threatened. Just believe in yourself. Do you feel threatened each time someone who looks good walks into the room? If you feel threatened or self-conscious around attractive people, you’ll never feel bigger or better than them.

#5 Stop comparing yourself. We’re all perfect in our own way. You don’t have to be more skinny, more full figured, muscular or leaner, just to look better than someone else. You are who you are, so work around your flaws to be the best you can be. Comparing yourself with someone else constantly will not help you, nor will it make you look any better.

#6 Don’t reveal your insecurity. Do you force your partner to avoid looking at someone attractive? Or do you yell at them when their eyes keep scanning the room towards another attractive person? If you do, that just reveals your insecurity. If you show your partner just how insecure you are around another attractive person, your partner too will start believing that you’re not very attractive.

Along the same lines, don’t bitch about an attractive person’s appearance. It only reveals your own insecurities when it comes to appearances.

#7 The art of touching. A subliminal way to appear more physically attractive is by using the power of touch. Lingering touches at the right time will always make you seem more physically attractive.

#8 The right fragrance. Your body produces natural fragrances that can increase your physical attractiveness. But to accentuate it, you can also use perfumes that complement your body’s fragrance and make you smell more s*xually attractive.

#9 A healthy appearance. Get a good night’s rest every night, and avoid surrounding yourself with negative people. When you feel positive about life, you’ll start to feel more positive about yourself. Eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables every day, and your skin will start to glow with a naturally attractive radiance within a few weeks.

#10 Pamper yourself. Have you ever noticed someone on the street with that *rich person glow*? They appear rich, look exceptionally well dressed even if they’re just wearing jeans and a tee. Why is that? Well, for starters, they respect their body and take care of it. Work out, eat well, and irrespective of whether you’re a guy or a girl, pamper yourself with beauty products. The more you take care of your skin and your body, the more attractive you’d appear.

#11 Be mysterious. An air of mysteriousness about you always makes you seem more attractive and s3xy. Don’t reveal all too soon when you’re talking to someone for the first time. If you’re too enthusiastic and eager to please when you meet someone, you’d lose the aura of mysteriousness that can make you appear a lot more attractive.

#12 Eye contact. Building eye contact is one of the best ways to increase physical attraction and s*xual tension with the person you like. Make strong eye contact and look right into their eyes while speaking with them. A good eye contact makes you appear confident, and that makes you more s*xually appealing.

#13 Grooming habits. Physical attraction is all about the details. Dress well, groom yourself and have a shower regularly. Clean, supple hands and a well groomed appearance always make you seem more likeable and attractive.

Physical attraction may not be the most important criterion for a happy relationship. But for a first glance that may eventually turn into love, physical attraction definitely plays a part that’s bigger than everything else.

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/must-read-13-physical-attraction-tips-look-way-hotter/

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Jealousy within a relationship can cause a slew of different problems, from paranoia to insecurity to unfounded accusations.

But sometimes, we can’t help but be jealous, especially if there’s someone who’s getting a little more attention from your partner than you think they deserve.

The green-eyed monster can be a pain to deal with, especially if you can’t find ways or reasons to confront your partner about it, but all said and done, jealousy within a relationship is never healthy, to you, your partner or your relationship.

6 easy ways to stop jealousy from ruining your relationship

If you feel like your jealousy may be putting a lot of pressure on your relationship, here are six things you can do to ease the pressure, alleviate your insecurity and most importantly, stop being so jealous in your relationship.

[Read: 12 clear signs you’re walking on egg shells in your love life]

#1 Experience… And then explain.

There may be times when you fly off into a jealous rage simply because you saw your significant other texting someone or talking to someone who may potentially be a threat to you.

But before you go off into a barrage of accusations, stop yourself for a moment. Ask yourself a few questions about what you’re feeling. Try to find out why you’re jealous to begin with.

Why is my partner talking to this person? Is it unreasonable for them to be talking at this hour? Has this incident happened before, and what was my partner’s explanation for it? Am I jealous because I feel like my partner would cheat on me? Am I jealous because this is exactly how I felt when I was cheated on in the past? Does this jealousy stem from something I’ve experienced in the past or something that my partner has done or said?

Once you’ve pinpointed the main reason for your jealousy, you will then have a clearer picture of what you believe is happening. This will help you gain a new perspective on the situation, and it can also prevent you from jumping to conclusions. [Read: 12 true signs of real love in a relationship]

#2 Don’t let your imagination consume you.

When there’s a situation that you’re not completely clear about, it’s easy to let your imagination fill in all the bits that you don’t know yet.

A boyfriend who’s always working overtime might be a philandering jerk who’s sleeping with his coworker. A girlfriend who doesn’t pick up her phone may be a liar who’s still seeing her ex.

But when this image of your partner really sticks to your mind, you may start picking out behaviors that prove that your theory is right. And that’s when paranoia and jealousy get out of control!

Before you start imagining and recreating fictitious scenarios where your partner is cheating on you, there are two things you can do.

First, you can find a different way of looking at things. Your boyfriend might really be clocking in some added hours because he’s just been promoted. Your girlfriend may not have picked up her phone because she was driving.

If this doesn’t calm your raging imagination, the second thing you can do is try to find another activity that will distract you until your partner can give you a reasonable explanation. Don’t let your emotions rule your imagination! [Read: 10 reasons why you have trust issues in love and 5 steps to overcome it]

#3 Resist the urge to compare.

Envy and jealousy are very closely linked. So it’s very likely that one of the main reasons you’re jealous of someone is because this person has qualities that you think you lack.

Top that off with the attention your partner gives this person, and that’s just adding fuel to the fire. As tempting as it is to compare yourself with the object of your jealousy, stop yourself before you start pummeling down on your self-esteem. [Read: How to stop feeling jealous of someone else’s success]

Even if you think this other person has positive characteristics that you don’t have, think of this – Of all the smart, funny, good-looking people in your partner’s social circle, why did he/she choose to be with you?

No matter what qualities other people around your partner may have, at the end of it all, it’s still you who gets to be his or her honey. Have a little more faith in yourself!

#4 Explain your jealousy to your partner. For many, it feels downright embarrassing and insulting to admit that they’re jealous of someone. But sometimes, this is all your lover needs to know in order to stop making you feel jealous all the time.

You could explain that you’ve noticed that he or she has been spending a lot of time with a certain person, and that you’d like to know why. Don’t make it sound like too much of a confrontation as it may make your partner clam up. Instead, casually mention the object of your jealousy and your boyfriend or girlfriend may already take the hint. [Read: Sneaky ways to deal with your partner’s flirty best friend!]

If possible, you can ask your partner to call or text you whenever they’re working late or if they’re out with friends, just to reassure you that they’re not up to anything fishy. Additionally, you can ask to meet up with their coworkers and friends sometime so you can get to know them a little better.

It often helps if you form a bond with your partner’s circle of friends in order to feel reassured that he or she won’t be up to anything suspicious when you’re not around to watch.

Talk to your lover about other possible, reasonable options that would help reassure you that there’s no need to be jealous of anyone in your partner’s life. [Read: 10 easy ways to make your jealous boyfriend not-so-jealous]

#5 Never, ever play mind games.

Jealousy may often bring out the worst side of people in a relationship. One of the worst things you can do is play mind games to make your lover come running back to you at a moment’s notice.

This may seem like a quick fix, but it will put a strain on your relationship. How? It can break your lover’s trust in you, and due to the quick results, you may repeat this trick to get their attention again and again whenever you feel like your partner’s paying too much attention to another person.

Another thing overly jealous partners may do is checking their partner’s personal accounts. If you find yourself hacking into your partner’s Facebook account, email and even their mobile phone, it’s definitely proof that you neither trust your partner, nor do you respect their privacy.

If you have very strong suspicions that your jealousy isn’t unfounded, confront your partner directly like an adult and talk about it. Otherwise, allow your partner the right to keep some things private. [Read: 17 big signs of an overly jealous and possessive partner]

#6 Learn to gradually trust your partner.

Along with the other tips above, one of the hardest but most important things you can do is try to stop overanalyzing every single thing your partner does and just learn to trust them one step at a time.

Lengthen the leash and allow your partner to enjoy their own life even when you’re not around to watch over them. Keep in mind that this person loves you and cherishes your relationship. And if they haven’t done anything to make you doubt their devotion to you, then why should you doubt how much your partner loves you? [Read: The right way to build trust in a relationship]

Intense jealousy is never good for romance

Intense jealousy not only puts a strain on you, but it also puts a lot of pressure on your partner. He or she has to constantly reassure you that there’s nothing going on when you’re not around.

Your lover may start withdrawing himself or herself from social situations in the fear of sparking your jealousy. And you, on the other hand, will always feel like you need to control your partner’s every move in order to make sure he or she remains faithful. [Read: How to get over insecurity in a relationship]

Henceforth, when you feel like your jealousy will soon rear its ugly head, take a deep breath and stay calm. Think like an adult and don’t let your suspicions override reason.

And most importantly, don’t let jealousy be the driving factor in your relationship, allow yourself to trust your partner a little more, and you’ll see just how beautiful a trusting and loving relationship can really be.

Credit: http://9jaexclusive.net/top-6-little-ways-stop-jealous-relationship/

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DO GIRLS LIKE GUYS WITH THE TAG “I’M THE GUY YOUR MOMMA WARNED YOU ABOUT”?

Whoo… aren’t those types simply irresistible? Yeah, in the last decade! You know, these days, girls do listen to their moms once in a while. And there may be a certain few who get attracted to those types, but not all of them.

There’s something about the lure of a dangerous man that’s quite tempting. It’s something similar to the first cigarette, or the first time a girl skipped class to go to the movies.

It’s all groovy and fired up for a while, until it’s not such a big deal anymore. And let’s face it, guys who have to pretend to be every momma’s worst nightmare have to play their part too. And that means not too many friends, a bottle of beer or a ciggie all the time and a messed up and droopy look with ruffled hair.

Now how many guys can pull that part to the tee? And how many girls could really like that?

Answer: Bad boys are so last decade! Brat Boys are a better option though!

I’M REALLY SHY. COULD A GIRL OVERLOOK THIS FLAW OF MINE?

Sure. And you can overlook the fact that she’s just walked all over you, and walked on. Right? What is it with some men these days? You want the hottest chick with the best assets God could imagine? And you, i.e., The Dork, want to go out with her. Girls are fine with shy guys. But shying away from a girl? Nope, that’s no good.

Girls can be mysterious, but let me assure you one thing. Girls are not psychic nor are they telepathic. They can’t read your mind however red your face goes, and they would never ever make a move on you in the first place. Unless you’re super-sweet and she’s had a crush on you since the day both your eyes met and the history of love was rewritten.

So buck up your courage and make that move. You may have a wee bit of a chance of hooking up if you talk to her. But if you’re just going to sit down by the corner table, drool and meditate to acquire the power of clairvoyance, give up and get out. The girl will never even notice you.

Answer: First date? Acceptable. Shy on second date? Flush!

WHY ARE GIRLS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?

Guys who assume this to be a fact must be bludy joking! If you aren’t able to gel with the women, maybe there’s something wrong with you. Or maybe that’s why ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ is such a biggie. Women aren’t hard to figure. They just play hard to get, they love making their guy jealous. They’re possessive, and they swear by the word, Vendetta! Get past that, and you’re talking smooth sailing.

Get real, you like women because they’re so mysterious and complicated (at least to you). If men and women were just the same, then they’d be a lot more homo-people, don’t you think? So let’s admit the fact. Women and men do get confused with each other somewhere along the lines of ‘once in a while’. So overlook it and worry about more pressing matters, okay? Like new cosmetics, clothes, designer wear, and night outs. Hmm?

Answer: Cause you like it like that!

Girls aren’t really difficult to understand. They want the same things from you, as you want from them. So stop worrying and whining about the mysterious women of Venus and just go get a life.

If you’re a good guy, you will get a good girl. So go make a move

Credit: http://9jaexclusive.net/ladies-girl-things-every-guy-know/

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We see great guys all the time.

They’re all around us.

Sometimes, we see them for an instant, and at other times, we get to spend a while with them.

So what do you do to get a guy’s attention?

Here’s a complete guide on getting his attention and making him like you, no matter where you see him.

How to get a guy’s attention

There are three circumstances when you’d bump into a guy you like in real life.

You may see him for the first time.

You may bump into him now and then.

Or you may already know him.

Depending on the circumstances under which both of you meet, here are different things you could do to get his attention, impress him and get him to ask you out or make a move on you.

[Read: 20 situations when a guy will never like you back]

YOU SEE HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME

Wondering how to get a guy’s attention when you see him for the first time?

In most cases, it’s the guy who walks up to the girl and starts a conversation with her. Try these subtle moves to let him know that you’re interested in him and open to talk with him.

#1 Smile and work the eye contact. Stare at him now and then and let him catch you staring. Eye contact is the simplest and easiest way to let a guy know you’re interested in him. Exchange a few glances now and then, but never overdo it.

#2 Play with yourself. When we’re attracted to someone, we instinctively start feeling touchy feely. It’s one of the subtle ways to let someone know you’re attracted to them. Play with your hair, show off your slender neck and your cleavage by tilting your head back now and then.

#3 Reveal your curves. Irrespective of where you are, try to show off your curves. Men are visual and after the face, your curvaceous body is the next thing he’s going to notice. [Read: 20 things about a girl that turns a guy on instantly]

#4 Blush and act coy. After a few hidden glances, blush or act coy when he catches your eye. Look away and just smile to no one in particular.

#5 Be sensual in your moves. Have a relaxed posture, and don’t be too jumpy or active. Stare at him now and then while delicately playing with a pen or a glass of wine.

#6 Act bored. Guys would be intimidated to approach a girl who seems busy. If you want him to make a move on you, play around with some object, act idle or pretend like you’re bored. It sends the right signals to let him know you’re waiting for him to make a move.

#7 Replicate his behavior. This helps create the connection even if both of you are sitting far away from each other. If you find him shuffling his collar because of the heat, fan yourself with your hands to let him know you’re feeling hot too. Learn to build the connection by replicating each other’s behavior.

Read more here: http://9jaexclusive.net/get-guy-attention-circumstance/

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I have a confession to make. I have never been in a serious relationship, and I’m definitely past the age where that’s normal. While all my friends are coupling up and making plans about marriage and babies, I’m still attending parties solo and being set up on horrifying blind dates.

Most of the reason I’m still single is personal preference, and yet, it can often be hard to feel happy about it when everywhere you look, there is someone telling you that you’re incomplete without another person!

The thing is though, as much as there are wonderful things about being in a relationship with someone you love, I believe that there are just as many reasons to be happy about being on your own!

15 great things I’ve experienced being single!

Through my experiences, here are 15 really good reasons to enjoy that singledom and live your life, well, at least until you find someone who you think may be perfect for you. But if you don’t find that right person, who cares, because you’d still get to have so much fun anyway!

#1 So much me time. One of the best things about being single is the amount of time you have, to spend doing whatever it is that you love best. I love spending time on my own – whether it’s browsing at a bookstore, writing at a coffee shop, or lazing around watching TV on Saturday mornings. Because I’m single, I don’t have to arrange for this time or wait until my significant other is out of town – every day is full of opportunities to hang out on my own.

#2 Set your own schedule. When you are single, you also don’t need to worry about running your schedule by anyone else. Get a text mid-afternoon from a friend asking you to go for drinks after work? You can say yes without worrying about interfering with your partner’s plans.

I love having the flexibility to work late, take spontaneous opportunities or change my plans completely halfway through the day without worrying about how it will affect anyone else.

#3 Stronger friendships. Who hasn’t experienced a friendship that fades out after a significant other joins the picture? Just because I’m not in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that I can’t have other kinds of strong relationships! I can take the energy and love and time that would go into a romantic relationship and place it into my friendships – having great friends there for you is totally worth it!

#4 The future is wide open. When you’re in a relationship, every aspect of your future needs to be run by someone else. After all, if you’re working on a couples’ 5-10-year plan, you need to keep each other involved in any big decisions. When I don’t have to think about someone else’s future, mine has a lot more options! There are no geographical, financial, or time limits that aren’t my own to consider.

#5 Potential is everywhere. There are a lot of wonderful things about being in a long-term relationship, but once you’re committed to someone, it gets a lot less fun to check out all the good looking people around you. When you’re single, every single good looking person is a potential new fling – and that’s a lot of fun!

#6 No forced friendships. When you’re in a relationship, you need to get along with *or at least pretend to get along with!* all of the friends that your partner has already made. Sometimes, this is a great way to make new friends, but other times, it can be an exhausting and stressful experience!

#7 Singles parties. I’ve heard that couples’ nights are a lot of fun, and that wine tastings and fancy dinners are an experience I’m missing out on. The thing is, I’ve got the rest of my adult life to experience that – give me a girls’ night out over a large group of couples any day!

#8 Stay in shape. The ‘happy weight’ you gain when you’re in a relationship isn’t just a myth – I’ve seen it happen! And while I’m far from a fitness nut, I love knowing that by cooking for one and wanting to look nice “just in case” I find myself next to a good-looking stranger, I don’t have to work nearly as hard at maintaining my weight!

#9 Self-sufficiency. The list of things I’ve learned to do as a single girl living on my own, simply because I haven’t had a significant other to ask for help, is long and impressive. Google is a great teacher, and once you do something once, you’ll never have to ask again. I love being confident in my own ability to handle problems whenever they happen.

#10 Crushes are fun. Is there anything better than the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when your handsome co-worker smiles at you in the hall, or when the guy you met at a party friends you on Facebook? Being able to have crushes that are hopeless *or not-so-hopeless!* and getting to fall in love again and again is one of the best parts about being single!

#11 Saving money. You know what’s expensive? Relationships. You might not think so, but gifts *Christmas, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.* add up fast and so do dinners out and date-night activities! When you are single, you have way more freedom in what you choose to spend your money on, and you’ll only ever have to pay for your own admission – score!

#12 Focus on career. Sure, your job isn’t *and shouldn’t be!* everything you care about. That being said, having enough time and freedom to really push yourself in your career is an opportunity you won’t have once you’re in a relationship. Having the freedom to work overtime or tackle advanced projects can really help boost your career – and you don’t need to worry about it taking away time or energy you could be giving your partner.

#13 You decide what’s ‘clean enough’. I’m not the world’s cleanest person – I’m not a slob, but I’m also not overly fussy about keeping my clothes folded or my papers organized. When you’re the only one living in your place, you get to decide how much cleaning you do, where things go, and how many days you can wear your favorite pair of jeans before they’re really too disgusting to wear again. If that’s not freedom, I don’t know what is.

#14 No compromises needed. When it comes to movies, dessert, ice cream flavors or the temperature of your apartment, you don’t need to ask anyone else’s opinion! The freedom to make your own choices without worrying about someone else’s opinion lets you put your happiness first without worrying about being selfish.

#15 Being confident in who you are. While all of the things I’ve listed are definitely some fantastic perks of going through this crazy part of my life solo, a lot of them are pretty shallow. I have to say that the most important part of this extended time being single for me has been the chance to come to terms with who I am, improve the parts of myself I don’t like, and gaining confidence in my personal abilities, dreams, and plans.


For morevisit: http://www.9jaexclusive.net

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Make this year the year not to get divorced.

You know those days when your husband has walked past the clean laundry basket you left strategically on the stairs for him to take up or piled all the dirty clothes next to (but not in) the hamper and you start fighting and you kind of sort of start to wonder really, how hard would it to be to live apart?

Yeah, me too.


We’ve all been there, but let’s face it: divorce is not a glamorous option and it won’t magically transform your life with sunshine and rainbows. So if you’re in this union for the long haul, pick a tip or two for divorce-proofing your marriage.

1. Let go of the "rules." You know the ones that say you need to have s2x 'X' amounts a week and have regular date nights and leave spontaneous love notes around the house? Yeah, you can forget about those. There are no rules for marriage and as long as you’re both satisfied, who cares if date night isn’t happening? And as for the s2x thing, quality over quantity can suffice in the season of parenting little kids, am I right? (Please say I’m right.)

2. Spend time apart. After having our fourth child, our marriage has been a bit, well, shall we say, "challenged," and in my husband’s words, it’s time for this mama to have some time away from everyone. The hubs claims that he’s booking me a night away, anywhere, all alone and who am I to disagree with the wisdom in that?

3. Choose happiness over winning. I love the story of Meagan Francis, a writer and mom of five who — get this — divorced and then re-married her husband. She’s shared her story online, saying that one of the key lessons she learned is that sometimes, even when you’re the one who’s "right" in a fight, it really doesn’t matter if you’re unhappy. "Deciding to be the first person to drop an argument, apologize, or give in doesn’t make you a pushover," she writes on her blog. "It just means you’ve made a choice to focus on the things in your relationship that bring you joy rather than frustration."

4. Get rid of the mental scorecard. I mean, honestly, we all have it. In fact, I have a pretty long running tally in my head of all the things that I do for our marriage and our lives vs. my husband’s efforts, but when it really comes right down to it, who is it helping to keep score? Aren’t we in this partnership together as a team? It’s time to clear that card, guys.

5. Be your own couple. The times that I am most unhappy in our marriage also happen to be the times when I start comparing our relationship to other couples. Becky and John work out together? Hmmpphh. Alyssa and John have the most adorable at-home date nights? Why can’t we do that? What’s wrong with us? It’s exhausting to try to keep track of what works for other couples, so here’s the tip of the day: Don’t. Focus on what makes you tick together and lose the rest.

6. Go to bed angry. Honestly, who ever came up with the rule that you should never go to bed angry? Maybe this tip is more applicable for parents, but I’ll tell you one thing — I say a lot of horrible things when I’m tired. So some of the best things I've ever done in my marriage have been to actually go to bed angry, because odds are I will save myself from saying something I would really regret the next day.

7. Marry a handy man. My husband is the type of guy who remodels our bathrooms, builds cabinets, fixes anything, plows the driveway, changes light bulbs, squishes spiders, and can still make the world’s best homemade pizza. Sure, he drives me nuts sometimes, but how on earth could I ever leave those kind of benefits behind? (This is a joke, guys. Kind of.) But really, maybe there’s a lesson on focusing on what your spouse does right instead of all the things he/she does wrong.

8. Focus on finances together. Many times in a marriage, one partner naturally takes the lead role when it comes to managing the finances. In my marriage, that person is me. In Your Tango writer Serge Bielanko‘s marriage, that person was his wife — now his ex-wife — and he claims that letting her do all the work on the financial front was one of the biggest mistakes he made in their marriage. So pair up and tackle those bills together.


Read more here: http://9jaexclusive.net/top-10-smart-ways-not-get-divorced-2015/

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It sucks when this happens, but every time you do meet the perfect guy, there’s a good chance’s he’s already in love ‘with the wrong woman’.

You may know he’s the man you want, and you may be convinced that you can be a much better girlfriend than his annoying girlfriend-present.

Find out how to get a guy with a girlfriend and turn his present girlfriend into girlfriend-of-past with these simple steps.

How to get a guy with a girlfriend

Read the first five steps on how to steal a guy before you read these next five steps to get a guy with a girlfriend.

It’s simple and easy. But steal a guy only if you love him and find that he’s in an unhappy relationship. There’s really no excuse for breaking a relationship up to cure your own boredom.

#6 Have great conversations with him

In the first five steps on how to get a guy with a girlfriend, you would have seen how important it is to make a great impression and make him fall for you. Now we go into the serious stuff. The guy you like may think you’re attractive and smoking hot, but as visual as men are, it’s not enough to win him over.

A guy may get attracted to a lot of girls, but he doesn’t fall in love with all of them. Emotional compatibility is of great importance for a guy.

When you’re spending time with him, have a light hearted conversation almost all the time. But every once in a while, talk to him about something serious and even intellectual. Create interesting conversations and let him see how smart and aware you are. Ask him about his job or what he plans to do in the next few years. Talk to him about his goals and dreams, and about yours too. And always offer some great pointers that can help him, and ask him for a few pointers on your goals too.

You don’t always have to talk about games, bikes or cars to win a guy’s attention, unless you like them too. By talking about things you don’t know or by trying too hard to please him, you may just end up coming across as too eager to please.

#7 Flirt, but don’t tell

Now you’ve wowed him with your looks and your emotional intelligence, and he’s probably wishing he could be in a relationship with you. But the truth is, he’s not in a relationship with you just yet. So don’t break the suspense bubble by telling him that you like him.

Both of you share a flirty and uncertain relationship with each other. By asking him out or telling him you have a crush on him, you’d end the confusing uncertainty and become the girl who has a crush on a guy with a girlfriend. And once he knows he’s won you over, he’ll lose the interest to impress you.

Always play coy, but stay mysterious. Never let him know that you like him. Always make it look like he’s the one giving you the attention.

One thing you have to avoid though is texting him too often or even texting anything overly flirty. His girlfriend may end up reading it and force him to avoid you.

#8 Build the chemistry with your touch

To understand how to get a guy with a girlfriend, you need to work your magic without ever making your intentions clear. Obviously, he’d know something is in the air or he wouldn’t be having happy flirty conversations with you. He’d be confused about his own feelings at this point, and this is when you need to build the romantic chemistry.

The next time you’re having a conversation with him, try to build the chemistry with some flirty touches. You need to be discreet and careful not to overdo this move.

#9 Spend more time together

The best way to get a guy with a girlfriend is to spend more time together with each other without making it obvious that you’re hitting on the guy. When he has a great time with you, he’ll obviously start to compare the time he spends with his own girlfriend to the time he spends with you.

Don’t ask him out to a movie or a date, be subtle. At least until he makes it clear that he’s falling for you but is confused because he’s already got a girlfriend. If he does say that, it’s obviously going well in your favor.

The next time you’re having a conversation with him, invite him along with your own group of friends and try getting some alone time with him. A few of your girl friends may already know you like him, and they can definitely help by adding a few ‘awkward’ comments like “you guys look good together!” Brush it off in fake jest and just smile. It’s awkward and funny, and it’s going to be perfect!

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/for-ladies-how-to-get-a-guy-with-a-girlfriend/

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We dudes aren't perfect, we should quash a few relationship mistakes ourselves.

Last week the editrixes at YourTango compiled a list of relationship mistakes that women should stop making. The list was solid but a bit heavy on the progesterone. In the name of making this space the Hannity And Colmes of YourTango (i.e. totally impartial and fair), I've compiled a list of stuff us dudes should probably quit doing in the name of healthy love and relationships:

1. Getting philosophical during "cuddle time." Easy Nietzsche, enjoy the silence. Wait til later to tell her why Washington is holding back the electric car.


2. Watching TV, reading, surfing the interweb and/or listening to music during an important conversation. Trust me, being able to recite the highlights (and a detail or two) of what she just said can go a long way. It's going to be tough if you have to ask yourself if she said it or if Al Michaels did.

3. Leaving your shirt on during sex. Yes, I took this from Chelsea Lately but it's brilliant: There is nothing stranger than a man wearing nothing but a shirt, unless that man is also wearing sneakers and a hat.

4. Claiming not to have a girlfriend. Do you spend money on her? Has she met your friends? Have you had sober sex on several occasions? Do you spend the night? Do you eat meals together at restaurants? Are you doing the same stuff with anyone else? Yeah, she's probably your girlfriend, guy.

5. Not understanding the value of cut flowers. I know that paying money for something that is going to be all wilty in like three days seems crazy. Sometimes rooms need a little brightening. Just go with it, OK?

6. Saying "You had me at 'hello''' or "You complete me" with anything that approaches sincerity. Nevermind. If you want to quote Jerry Maguire, don't let anyone stop you.

7. Showing improper levels of jealousy. Some jealousy is good, natural and a bit flattering. Driving four hours to punch Jim Halpert in the neck is cause for concern.

8. Insisting on a level of grooming that you are in no way prepared to reciprocate. I'm with you, I'm not waxing my junk. That's final.

9. Solving every problem. Dude, sometimes we're supposed to just listen and empathize. Even if a solution is slapping you in the face like Rick James in the China Club, just listen. Maybe give advice if the same issue constantly comes up. Maybe.

10. Not taking the bait from an obvious attempt to fish a compliment. Compliment fishing, like fishing where people are swimming, is pretty annoying, but sometimes everyone needs a few kind words.

11. Taking numbers that you don't plan on calling. Honestly, is getting a whole mess of numbers still cool? Was it ever?

12. Taking your teams too seriously. Don't take your hatred for the Gators out on anyone else, OK? On a totally separate note, I'm not to be disturbed for four hours after any Clemson football loss.


Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/13-major-relationship-mistakes-men-make/

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An open relationship is a tricky maze.

It can seem like a lot of fun, but as with anything that seems too good to be true at first, it’s better to be prepared than sorry.

There are many couples who enjoy a perfect open relationship with their own partners.

And they’re happy with their lives.

If you and your partner believe in the logic that s*xual infatuation and love are two different emotions, well, an open relationship may work out just fine for you.

[Read: What is an open relationship really?]

Open relationship rules for beginners

There are no rules written in stone for anything we experience.

What works for one person may not work for another.

But through the experiences of other couples who indulge in an open relationship, there are many things we can learn in order to avoid those pitfalls and enjoy those s*xual highs.

You should remember that these open relationship rules aren’t created to restrict you.

It’s only a guide to help you enjoy the benefits of an open relationship and yet keep your love life happy.

15 important open relationship rules that matter

#1 Be prepared. When both of you have been in a relationship for a while, the prospect of having s*x outside the relationship could seem like a heady rush. But are both of you psychologically ready for it? If you jump into an open relationship when one of you isn’t prepared, your relationship could only lead to a breakup.

#2 Test the waters first. Party with your own friends one night and hook up with someone fancy. The next morning, talk about your experiences with each other. How do both of you feel in the morning? Is there jealous or insecurity in the air, or are both of you happy and excited for each other? [Read: How to kiss a friend and get away with it]

#3 Is it lust or a lifestyle change? Sometimes, it could just be a buildup of s*xual lust over the years that may lead to both of you believing that an open relationship is the best choice ahead. But at times, it takes a few anonymous shagathons to realize that you don’t like what you’re doing.

Try this test. Do both of you feel like participating in an open relationship a few minutes after having s*x with each other, even after both of you have orgasmed? If you don’t feel enthusiastic about sleeping with someone else when you’re not Hot, you just have an imaginative mind that goes haywire only when you’re Hot.

#4 Avoid mutual friends. If you’re still convinced that you’re ready for an open relationship, here’s a good rule to start off with. Always try to look for partners who aren’t involved with your life in any way beyond s*x. And keep it that way.

Make it seem like you’ve having an affair to the person you’re sleeping with, but let your partner know the real truth. By telling your friend with benefits that your partner knows about the relationship, they may try to get revenge or publicize your open relationship to the world to get back at you at some point in future. The fact that you’re having an open relationship should be a well guarded secret that stays between the two of you. To any other lover either of you are sleeping with, always make it seem like an affair.

#5 Hide the details, don’t hide the people. An open relationship is a delicate balance between love, lust and a lot of trust. By hushing things up, you’ll end up making your partner feel insecure which could damage the trust in the relationship. It’s a s*xual agreement between both of you, so don’t ever hide the people you’re involved with.

#6 Have s*x, but don’t fall in love. This is hard, but it’s something you always need to remember. An open relationship is not a hall pass to fall in love with other people when you’re already committed in a relationship. Don’t stay over or get cuddly with your buddy. Falling in love with someone else because you’re s*xually infatuated by them will only complicate things further. Always remember that it’s s*x and nothing but s*x.

#7 Jealousy. You may get jealous of your partner, especially if you aren’t getting as much attention as your partner is. Remember, it’s easy for a girl to get attention when she wants it. Most of the time, a guy has to work for the attention. Don’t let jealousy come in the way of this s*xual arrangement. [Read: Tips to deal with jealousy in a relationship]

#8 Don’t share your secret with the world. We’re all busy with our own lives. All of us have secrets, big and small. So learn to keep it that way. Telling everyone that you enjoy a perfectly happy open relationship may take the guilt or fear off your shoulders, but it can be embarrassing to both of you if others are not as understanding. Share these secrets only with a few friends who won’t judge you, but understand your decision.

#9 Nothing changes in the relationship. Just because you’re having s*x now and then with someone else doesn’t mean your relationship should change overnight. Don’t let it change and don’t let s*x get in the way. Work harder to let your partner know that there’s still a lot of love and s*xual attraction in the air. [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures for everyday life]

#10 Communicate. Don’t exchange all the Hot details, but be aware of each other’s interests and partners. Tell your partner about all the people you’re sleeping with, and your partner should do the same. And if some s*xual partner of your partner bothers you, voice your thoughts. Be frank and communicate to each other if you want to enjoy this happy s*xual arrangement with no hitches.

#11 Stay protected outside romance. Get checked for any s*xual diseases now and then to reassure your partner. Always use protection and avoid lovers who may have a very amorous and s*xual past. If you go wrong somewhere, your mistakes could affect your partner’s life. Would you ever want that?

#12 Set clear boundaries. Define the things that bother you and the things that don’t. So what’s cheating and what’s not in an open relationship according to you? What’s allowed and what’s not? Talk frankly with each other and discuss every detail until both of you are satisfied with each other’s answers.

And while setting boundaries, always respect yourself and your partner. Just because you’re sleeping with someone else doesn’t mean you’re a bad or immoral person. You’re just being truthful to yourself and your partner about the fact that you do get s*xually attracted to other people. And quite frankly, don’t we all?

#13 Don’t bring a lover home under any circumstance. This is an absolute no-no. Your partner may know you’re sleeping with others, but bringing the other person into your own home can destabilize the fragile balance. Your home is your love nest, where nothing comes in between both of you, well, unless you’re bringing another couple to bed!


Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/best-15-open-relationship-rules-better-love-life/

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Have you ever gone on a date that went well enough, but you weren’t sure if you should go on a second date?

It happens to the best of us. We met someone, had a decent date, but there was no spark. Nothing bad happened on the date so there are no major complaints or red flags, but the lack of spark left you undecided about a second date.

When we romanticize love, we think about that first moment when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat. You feel the butterflies in your stomach and you automatically just know. As great as love at first sight seems, it isn’t real.

In real life a successful relationship is built based on consistent communication, integrity, common purpose and character. Ohhh integrity, doesn’t that sound s3xy? If it doesn’t you’re looking for the wrong things.

I’ve written about chemistry before and how I believe it can be formed by communication, but it’s much harder to actually put into practice. We want to follow our instinct, or gut, but that will only lead us down a path to find what is already familiar.

If you are looking to change the type of person you date, you will likely not have an immediate spark. So how do you know if someone is worth that second date? Ask yourself these four questions:
Do I Find Them Attractive?

Maybe they weren’t your exact type, but do you think they are attractive? Do you see their appeal? Was there something about them that stood out; their eyes or kind face?

If you find them attractive in any way, you’re in good shape.
Did I Enjoy My Conversation With Them?

Did the conversation on the first date flow easily? Did they ask and take interest in your life or did were they only concerned about themselves?
Did We Have Things In Common?

Did you have at least 3 things in common, be it interests, family upbringing, religion, or future goals? Common interests with your partner at the start of a relationship set up a healthy foundation for the bond you will form with one another in the future.
Did They Seem Like A Decent Human Being?

Was She nice? Was he a gentleman? Did they act positively towards you and the people you interacted with like the wait staff or bar tender? Did they seem kind and caring? How did they speak about the people in their life?

If they passed all four questions, you should definitely give them another shot and go on a second date. You don’t want “spark” to keep you from dating an amazing person.

read more: http://9jaexclusive.net/go-second-date-theres-no-spark/