I met a girl through a mutual friend in April. She came to visit me end of May - the last week to be specific. June 3rd happened (Plane crash) and I got distracted by several things.... July, she let me know that she is engaged. During the month of July, I fasted and prayed on my marital situation - but I am very disappointed on several things.

1. That I like her and feel that she did not give me chance or time
2. I too, like her plan to be married this year and feel that in that time period, we could have continued to establish friendship.
3. I was confused about her because at the time I had many options but right now, she is the only one that I miss so much.

What do you think that I should do? I am very sad and depressed.

Do you think that we can get back together? I got so angry that I abused her. I know that she loves me but was very afraid because she did not know where she stands with me. By the time that I am sure of her, she has already moved on.

Her being engaged, does that mean God answered my prayers? If so, why am I hurting so much? Why do I miss her so much? Can anyone help me?

From the little I can understand, you liked her but took her for granted, she found someone who didn't and moved on. God has nothing to do with this, you don't take people for granted and expect sane people to hang around waiting indefinately.
If you still like her, talk to her, its her decision, no one here can help you. But I must ask, what is different now? When you have more people paying attention to you, won't you fall back into the same circle? Ask your self if you have learnt anything from this experience before you drive away another person who likes you again. If you want to be with someone treat them well.

Young man u better wake up to reality. She is engaged tell urself d truth

debrief08: From the little I can understand, you liked her but took her for granted, she found someone who didn't and moved on. God has nothing to do with this, you don't take people for granted and expect sane people to hang around waiting indefinately.
If you still like her, talk to her, its her decision, no one here can help you. But I must ask, what is different now? When you have more people paying attention to you, won't you fall back into the same circle? Ask your self if you have learnt anything from this experience before you drive away another person who likes you again. If you want to be with someone treat them well.

yeah learn.

Don't sweat Ȋ̝̊̅†...... U were prolly a side-kick..
Or how else did she meet sum1 in june and get engaged by july?
Dat girl isn't Ȋ̝̊̅†!
Please check harder, deres sum1 else.

debrief08: From the little I can understand, you liked her but took her for granted, she found someone who didn't and moved on. God has nothing to do with this, you don't take people for granted and expect sane people to hang around waiting indefinately.
If you still like her, talk to her, its her decision, no one here can help you. But I must ask, what is different now? When you have more people paying attention to you, won't you fall back into the same circle? Ask your self if you have learnt anything from this experience before you drive away another person who likes you again. If you want to be with someone treat them well.

seconded

Imanuelle: Don't sweat Ȋ̝̊̅†...... U were prolly a side-kick..
Or how else did she meet sum1 in june and get engaged by july?
Dat girl isn't Ȋ̝̊̅†!
Please check harder, deres sum1 else.

She said she is determined to marry this year so when they introduced her to someone she just moved on. Why didn't she talk to me about her feelings for me? Why did she just move on?

@debrief08, don't you think you have to know someone first before you marry them? One month is not enough to know someone. I met her in May and July she is already engaged.

Yes, I may have ignored her phone calls but I always respond to her texts. I run my father's business and she is a doctor, she should understand how busy things get.

My Brother you don't need to justify yourself to me or anyone else here, the person you should be talking, explaining and getting answers from is the Lady.
I like people who know what they want, she didn't hide it that she wanted marriage, you knew that and didn't show any commitment or seriousness, I wouldn't blame her for moving on.
My advice, call her, ask her to dinner, talk to her, let her know how you feel, whatever happens fine. However don't go after her just because she is now out of your reach go after her if only you really like her and you are on the same marriage page with her.
Any sane woman with self worth and self esteem who knows what she wants will not hang around and be treated badly. You said you abused her, who does that?
I know how some "Nigerian" relationships are, all about being macho and rude but the problem is that such actions make you end up with low self esteem women who you find you don't really like, the confident smart ones won't stay and keep praying that you change your mind and treat them well.
If you like someone you can never be too busy for them, why would you delibrately ignore her calls? When she is calling and you see her number and don't pick does it make you feel better? Does your ego grow bigger? Well, you have your Macho ness and she is gone, if she decides she doesn't want any of it, I don't blame her. Try sha, you could get lucky, but treat any other person you meet well. Thank God you have now learnt acting up doesn't do any good

obowunmi:

She said she is determined to marry this year so when they introduced her to someone she just moved on. Why didn't she talk to me about her feelings for me? Why did she just move on?

U PROBABLY didn't THINK LIKE A MAN... U were acting like a boy dat needed a girlfrnd and not a partner.
Besides... How could u have been so distracted for up to A month??
Let d sleeping dog lie... Don't get things complicated for her.

Lol@ "why did she move on?" Hehehehe, what did you expect? She should wear sack clothes and sit and mourn? People get over divroces even when kids are involved and move on talk less of relationships where they are treated rudely.
Really My Brother work on your attitude, if you want to behave that way you will get a woman quiet alright but not a sane or good one.

Imanuelle:

U PROBABLY didn't THINK LIKE A MAN... U were acting like a boy dat needed a girlfrnd and not a partner.
Besides... How could u have been so distracted for up to A month??
Let d sleeping dog lie... Don't get things complicated for her.

I'm thinking like a man...just wanted to build friendship. How can I marry someone that I'm not friends with, that takes time. I will marry her in Oct/Nov this year if she wants. But let's develop friendship.

debrief08: Lol@ "why did she move on?" Hehehehe, what did you expect? She should wear sack clothes and sit and mourn? People get over divroces even when kids are involved and move on talk less of relationships where they are treated rudely.
Really My Brother work on your attitude, if you want to behave that way you will get a woman quiet alright but not a sane or good one.

Ok, what do you think I should do now? Forget her? Write her a love letter telling her how I really feel? I've already abused her. Will it be worth it?

Truth be told you were very relaxed with her, more like you were doingg shakara cos you knew then that she was into you.

Please don't tell me you were busy for a whole one month cos you were still posting on nairaland after the June crash, nothing stopped you from spending 5 minutes of those spare times you spent on nairaland to call her, You had the chance to ring her for a whole month but you didnt, you were marking time.

Learn from this experience

Oga I have given my small advice, invite out for a nice date, something calm and romantic, apologise for how you have hurt her, pour out your heart to her as you have done with us. Simple, that's really all you can do now and hope she likes you enough to give you another chance, if she does then don't mess it up, if she doesn't, wish her well with her new relationship and move on.

obowunmi:

I'm thinking like a man...just wanted to build friendship. How can I marry someone that I'm not friends with, that takes time. I will marry her in Oct/Nov this year if she wants. But let's develop friendship.

Did u consider her age
She was prolly desperate...
Just 4get her and move on.

debrief08: Oga I have given my small advice, invite out for a nice date, something calm and romantic, apologise for how you have hurt her, pour out your heart to her as you have done with us. Simple, that's really all you can do now and hope she likes you enough to give you another chance, if she does then don't mess it up, if she doesn't, wish her well with her new relationship and move on.

Thx for your advice. But I do feel guilty taking another woman's finance out for dinner. I might just have to forget her and move on, since someone else is now involved. She lives in a different state so I doubt that I want to travel all the way to see her.

I miss her but not sure what else to do. I also need to figure out do I want her because she's moved on or do I want her because I really and truly like her. One turn off for me is that she talks a lot. I like women that are more discreet and quiet.

Debrief08, very mature. Are you male or female?

obowunmi:

She said she is determined to marry this year so when they introduced her to someone she just moved on. Why didn't she talk to me about her feelings for me? Why did she just move on?

you shouldn't blame her. Do you know if she had told someone about how she felt and he didn't take her serious? I met someone through a friend and for 3years he was still trying to build friendship even after i had told him how i felt about him. He left me without a word for 4 months. Someone else came and i move on. Now he's back and said i wasn't patient.

glimpse:

you shouldn't blame her. Do you know if she had told someone about how she felt and he didn't take her serious? I met someone through a friend and for 3years he was still trying to build friendship even after i had told him how i felt about him. He left me without a word for 4 months. Someone else came and i move on. Now he's back and said i wasn't patient.

Are you kidding me? We met the last week of May and she moves on in July. I always texted her every day....why didn't she tell me how she felt? She could have said, plus she broke the news to me in text message, which really hurt me.

I believe three things. If its meant to be, (1) she will come back in Jesus name (2) I cannot wait to marry her, I have already bought the ring (3) I can assure you that I will never take her for granted because I miss her soo much.

But I don't want her to hurt anyone else for me, especially the new guy.

Right now, it feels like someone plunged a dagger in my heart.

so you'd wait,right? Ok o. There's nothing wrong with calling her now to find out somethings. So that you don't wait for nothing.

glimpse: so you'd wait,right? Ok o. There's nothing wrong with calling her now to find out somethings. So that you don't wait for nothing.

If I call her, she won't pick up because I abused her in anger.

She keeps sending me to voicemail,

Please leave Jesus out of this, we have chipped in and given advice, you have given excuses, she is too far she talks too much.
Let her go please, you are only feeling bad because she moved on not because you like her. If you really like her you will get up and make an effort. Faith without works is dead, jesus won't go and drag her out of another relationship
Make an effort, go and present your case, or leave her alone please. I am trying to understand what you want, one minute you can't live without her another minute you are picking her faults and bringing up all the excuses why you can't be with her

Then forget her and move on. Don't forget to send a message of apology, and don't treat the next girl badly. Take her serious.

debrief08: Please leave Jesus out of this, we have chipped in and given advice, you have given excuses, she is too far she talks too much.
Let her go please, you are only feeling bad because she moved on not because you like her. If you really like her you will get up and make an effort. Faith without works is dead, jesus won't go and drag her out of another relationship
Make an effort, go and present your case, or leave her alone please. I am trying to understand what you want, one minute you can't live without her another minute you are picking her faults and bringing up all the excuses why you can't be with her

I see what you are saying. I am saying that I abused her and that I don't want to keep communicating because I don't want her to see me as a stalker or mad person. Please understand me.

I will write her a handwritten love letter and send it to her job. Please understand that I know that she is hurting but I don't want to hurt her anymore when she doesn't pick up my phone calls. Do you get my drift?

glimpse: Then forget her and move on. Don't forget to send a message of apology, and don't treat the next girl badly. Take her serious.

Thank you and I will send a message of apology, for now it is the right thing to do. Thank you Ms. Glimpse.

you are welcome

Is this a different Obowumi
I lol in Latin. Dude is a joke/r.
Enough correct yarns already if for once you are serious.

ifyalways: Is this a different Obowumi
I lol in Latin. Dude is a joke/r.
Enough correct yarns already if for once you are serious.

I'm not joking ooo

oh stop whining
All you have written is all about you.
i was busy
blah blah.
The lady is gone, dont make the same mistake next time.Life isnt only about you and waiting till you pray, whilst everything else should hold on

shushu: oh stop whining
All you have written is all about you.
i was busy
blah blah.
The lady is gone, dont make the same mistake next time.Life isnt only about you and waiting till you pray, whilst everything else should hold on

I'm not a mind reader so I don't know what is going on in her head.

what else do I write about? I cannot speak for her. I can only speak for myself.