Disclosing to your Partner that your Boss is 'toasting' you.

Is it wrong or right to inform your husband or partner that your boss (or his best friend) is asking you out?

Not withstanding the fact that he is also married. Or would you rather keep sealed lips about it and handle it your own way?

Hmmm.....

This one strong oh... You mean to say that in this day and age of corporate responsibility, such things still happen...

Well.. from what I gather, both the boss and the victim are both married, so why the hell would a married man want to toast a married woman

But to answer the question,

PLEASE never hide anything from your partner... NEVER ! ! ! 

The repercusions and rammifications of such actions may be too severe...


Abi people... don't u agree

ps..

Or would you rather keep  sealed lips about it and handle it your own way?

What exactly do you mean by "sealed lips" and "handling it your own way"

Hi Cimonjorr, what i meant by sealed lips is not discusiing such with ur partner, and handling the boss in ur own way,.... dealingwith the situation your self.

liitlesaint abeg dont ever think of hidin anything frm ya partner cos when the goin is too severe to handle u might end up turnin to ya partner for help.
tips:

try as much as u can to avoid the man in ques,i mean close contact cos anything fit happen u know.

try handlin it ya own way,being very polite n dicey might help

inform your partner, God save if he is the understandin type,i think this is of most paramount interset to the this issue.

Uche, Avoidance is inevitable as i am his personal Assistant and informing my husband fit lead to my untimely resignation of appointment u no think so?

Tell ya husb b4 he finds out himself or someone told him.

He'll assume u ve been enjoying the whole thing after all regardless of what u tell'im.

Tell'im n let'im n urge him to handle that with wisdom.

Tell your husband, and start searching for another job.  I've given the advice 3 times now.  This is a situation in which you're at risk of losing both your job and the trust your husband, but I'll advice you to place more value on the trust of your husband and tell him today.  Please do this the whole situation gets more complicated, thanks.

the first question is whether you love your husband? Second, is your job more important than your husband? Third, If your husband were in this predicament (assuming!) what would you expect him to do? Ponder this and then act on them.

littlesaint,

There is a concensus that you tell you husband.

And I agree.

Being toasted I guess can be considred flattering especially if you like the toaster - in your case however you are a married woman so that type of flattery has to its place. I suggest as others that you let your husband know asap. You will need his support should your toaster become vindictive if you take our advise and give him that "9inch nail / red light".

I'm a married man and would like my wife to inform me of such developments at her place of work, maybe then I wont take her granted as I do these days  

lol u better tell him now b4 it is 2 late coz u can't carry it alone. so don't keep u ok

I thought you told him already before even bringing the topic to this forum. let's forget talking about keeping

Hey everyone

This is a sticky thing but it happens all of the time.

The first thing is for the woman to clearly examine herself, finding out if she is giving off any mixed signals and indications that it's ok for this behavior. It could have been the smiling and giggling when he speaks to me or the way I bat my eyes at him or anything and these things have to be considered. If she is clear then I would clearly state in behavior and words that I am not interested in him.

If the man continues to come on to her then I would make my Husband aware of it and it's great protection. You never know what may happen and just in-case you want to your family aware. It would be harder if he found out on his own.

I would say that if the woman wants to keep her job then I would start keeping track of every offensive incident by writing down date's, times and explaining what happened. The end result is to file a sexual harassment complaint, this guy is a creep and may have done this to many others.

The easier way is to find a new job.

If this guy is your Husbands friend I would firstly be insulted. I would defiantly make my husband aware of if because his friend is clearly not being a good friend to my husband and there for can not be of any good to our family.  Because they are friends it would make it hard and may cause problems, but family come first for me, weather my husband believes me or not I have to protect my families best intrest first.
This could be especially hard for the husband to find out on his own and would damage the trust.

Little saint,this is simply misplacement of priorities.are u considerin your job to the love u have for your husband,your family and your kids.haba why u dey talk like this

Fine tell your husband,if he sacks u, find another job though is ain't easy but at times we have to take the risk and life goes on

save your marriage by tellin your husband cos if he finds out u don finsh be dat

You were actually asking advice about hiding something from your husband? What exactly were expecting to hear?

My sister, I don't think you need anybody to advise you in the first place. YOur boss is making pass on you and you are asking if you are to tell your husband. For the sake of your marriage and you children please let him know.

If you are the type that your husband trust you, I don't think there will be any problem. For the mere fact you are woman, men will surely come to you even though they know you are married.

In the nut shell let him be aware of it.

Do what your head tells you is right, no necessarily your heart...

My dear start tying your head with a massive head scarf stop wearing all your gold, banish minis and amkeup and begin looking reflective if he continues pursuing you, call your pastor to help you with an exorcism

it's better you just say it girl! or it can happen that he comes 2 find it out from someone else. did you watch that movie heavy rain with ramsey and emeka? well just think about what happened later to ramsey's wife. she was thrown out cause she didn't tell her husband to be that his cousin had tried to sleep with her. emeka did it first and chioma was then the only one to pay.  take my advice...this will make him trust you more and you can bet on it!

Please better tell ur husband evrything, b4 he find out because if he find out na u sabi............... if na me when I find out b4 u telling me first, na red card straight. no be say i dey exaggerate, na truth i dey yarn straight.

You need to tell your hubby mate! No time to waste!

Well, if i'm the one, i will tell my husband because we don't know what might cause problem in future. I will let him know since he is my better half. He must know everything about me. So when he hears something different outside, he will be able to knock it aside.

@silverbird men thatz right
i totally agree coz it might cause
a big WAHALA tomorrow

You are obviously a babe and i am sure he is not the first guy to toast you since you got married.

Normally, i wouldn't bother as it is not an issue, but him being your boss, makes it a little more serious.
It could escalate and begin to affect your work, so tell your man.

I agree, you shouldn't keep anything from your husband, but the truth is a lot of men 'especially Nigeria husbands' are fundamentally insecure.
Telling him everybody that chases your may create more problems that not...again that depends on the kind of husband you have.

let your husband know, SHIKENAN!!

dear,i relly suggest that you tell your husby,you were actually supposed to tell him before you told us because you and him are 1 (i suppose).telling your husband will do you alot better than just because if he finds out,the consequences will be to huge for you to bear,so go ahead and tell him even if it will cost loosing your job.bessides if you loose your job you can replace it with another but what if you loose your husband?will you be able to replace his space in your heart?

better tell him quick quick or else if he finds out.. omo.. na double wahala

U need to called your husband and explain the issue to him, let him understand what is going on in between you and ur boss ok.

U better tell him a.s.a.p!

dont even think of thinking of hiding it from your husband cos one way or the other he wlll know and the job you are trying to keep, you may end up losin both your husband and the so-called job you are trying to save.

do you know if he even knows about it, may be your boss planned it with him

timmy:

do you know if he even knows about it, may be your boss planned it with him

i doubt it but who knows......