Is something wrong with me,or am I just been a weakling?

Two days ago,I was in my street(just returning from work)when I saw my neighbours whom we know each other well(A man and his wife)living two houses away from mine were at each others throats shamelessly (come see people),to top it,their two year old baby was somewhere crying his eyes .I couldn't bring myself to confront the man for the shameless show he was busy performing,neither could I muster enough courage to go and clean the weeping baby .

I was so speechles and utterly numb to move a muscle.

Is there anything wrong with me psychological?

hot n cold: Is something wrong with me,or am I just been a weakling?

Two days ago,I was in my street(just returning from work)when I saw my neighbours whom we know each other well(A man and his wife)living two houses away from mine were at each others throats shamelessly (come see people),to top it,their two year old baby was somewhere crying his eyes .I couldn't bring myself to confront the man for the shameless show he was busy performing,neither could I muster enough courage to go and clean the weeping baby .

I was so speechles and utterly numb to move a muscle.

Is there anything wrong with me psychological?

would you have loved to have the man beaten. . .or what exactly do you want?

i think you were just trying to mind your business. I will do same o, cos its their own wahala.

hot n cold: Is there anything wrong with me psychological?

Either it is the case that you were struggling with the decision on whether to act or not, or you may have some deep issues in your past that relates to that, that you have yet to deal with/accept.

Did your mother do something similar to your mum when you were young? Or did you witness something similar happen to someone else as a child? If yes, when, where, and how did you resolve the feelings at the time? Are you certain you resolved whatever feelings you had then? Or did you just pile life on top of it thinking it would all go away somehow?

P.S Please next time you see such act at least try to bark or something. Don't just let your subconscious make you watch such barbaric act against another being without you attempting to do something to help.

Kobojunkie:
Either it is the case that you were struggling with the decision on whether to act or not, or you may have some deep issues in your past that relates to that, that you have yet to deal with/accept.

Did your mother do something similar to your mum when you were young? Or did you witness something similar happen to someone else as a child? If yes, when, where, and how did you resolve the feelings at the time? Are you certain you resolved whatever feelings you had then? Or did you just pile life on top of it thinking it would all go away somehow?

P.S Please next time you see such act at least try to bark or something. Don't just let your subconscious make you watch such barbaric act against another being without you attempting to do something to help.

No.Never have I had such an experience while growing up in my home and I thank God for that.The thing is,while I was in school(I was living off campus)My landlord(a hot temper fellow)was always beaten his wife pregnant wife almost every night.Week in week out I always see this young woman with one black eye or another.

What usually pierce my heart is the sound of her cries and wailing(not just her but to any woman been basatdize by her husband)it usaully knock the stuff out of me.Am I shy?Or am I emotionally soft?

Acidosis:

would have loved to have the man beaten. . .or what exactly do you want?

Bro I didn't get your question

hot n cold: Bro I didn't get your question

Acidosis:

would you have loved to have the man beaten?. . .or what exactly do you want?

hot n cold: Bro I didn't get your question

now read again.

OP, maybe it is because you are helpless.

@OP
What is your business? You de craze? You want to go to another person's house and fight them? It sounds good to those fools who live abroad. We here in Nigeria understand what nonsense you are talking. Please go and see what happens to you, when you get there injure the owner of the house. Nonsense.

hot n cold: No.Never have I had such an experience while growing up in my home and I thank God for that.The thing is,while I was in school(I was living off campus)My landlord(a hot temper fellow)was always beaten his wife pregnant wife almost every night.Week in week out I always see this young woman with one black eye or another.

What usually pierce my heart is the sound of her cries and wailing(not just her but to any woman been basatdize by her husband)it usaully knock the stuff out of me.Am I shy?Or am I emotionally soft?

That there sounds more like you enjoy watching weak creatures get the sh1t knocked out of them. .

When you say pierce your heart, do you mean your heart is hurt by it or somehow listens in to hear the sorrow. . . . . Please get help or anything needed to stop you being this coward that you have been. It is not enough to pretend or say you hurt when you see wrong being done. By doing nothing, you are encouraging the violence, and honestly, I think this thread should end here

I suspect it is psychological but that being said, there is no reason why you should allow this continue one minute longer. It is horrible because you just detailed here how you were unable to help stop violence in at least 2 cases.

hot n cold: Is something wrong with me,or am I just been a weakling?

Two days ago,I was in my street(just returning from work)when I saw my neighbours whom we know each other well(A man and his wife)living two houses away from mine were at each others throats shamelessly (come see people),to top it,their two year old baby was somewhere crying his eyes .I couldn't bring myself to confront the man for the shameless show he was busy performing,neither could I muster enough courage to go and clean the weeping baby .

I was so speechles and utterly numb to move a muscle.

Is there anything wrong with me psychological?

Yes, you are a weakling and what you did shows how much of a coward you really are.

Some things are best left unsaid. How can a fully grown man come on an internet forum to complain that he witnessed violence and did nothing about it? If that were your mother, aunt, sister, daughter or any other female member of your family in that situation, you wouldn't want someone to help? Weren't there neighbours there you could alert to know what was happening?

Okay, you saw the 2 year old baby crying. Couldn't you do something like pick up the child to comfort him / her? I'm guessing you were out in the open, not hidden in a room, so what was your problem really?

And if you really didn't want to get involved, then maybe you could have alerted the police or whatever the equivalent is in that area just to help the situation?

Anyway, let your concience guide you sha.

Why all these harsh tones here, abi I kill person.I only ask an innocous question that demand little aggression from contributors.

@ Kobojunkie,Mactunji, et al if I were to be a younger brother to one of you,who came with a cap in for an advice/suggestion,would this HONESTLY be the way you would attend to me?

He with no sin should cast the first stone.The tone here is not just fair.

You feel GUILTY that's why you've come to hide here.

hot n cold: Why all these harsh tones here, abi I kill person.I only ask an innocous question that demand little aggression from contributors.

@ Kobojunkie,Mactunji, et al if I were to be a younger brother to one of you,who came with a cap in for an advice/suggestion,would this HONESTLY be the way you would attend to me?

He with no sin should cast the first stone.The tone here is not just fair.

Duh!! um . . . my Younger brothers gets the bitter truth from me. So, stop trying to throw the VICTIM CARD here. You watched a fellow human being get beaten and you did nothing about it. Why do you expect pity from us? What has my sin to do with your sin? What is unfair in castigating you for watching(numb or not) as a fellow human being, female at that, got beaten, probably to a pulp,while you stood watching?

I know what it feels to go numb but I also know that feeling usually lasts for a less than a minute or so, before one regains back one's control of the body or one faints. Since you did not tell us that you fainted, I am assuming you regained control after a couple of seconds, and could have easily shouted or barked at the man to stop.

I could not walk past a man maltreating a woman here and not say something. I would probably not sleep well that day and for a long time to come as my conscience would punish me for allowing such violation to occur without intervening.

There is a show here called "What would you do?" and your story reminds me of some of the stories on that show. I want to empathize but can't seem to because this story could have had a worse ending if Not for God.

He said they were at each other's throats...
So I take it the woman was holding her own quite well?

Though you would have approached and been the louder voice of conscience that is being drowned out by their rage.
There are things you can say to two couples fighting without touching them that will make them of their own accord let each other go.

Wetin u wan du b4? James bond? U wan beat d man? No try am oo?

D mata no concern u at all.just maintain. Dey ur own

if u form actor u go go cel

engrtee: Wetin u wan du b4? James bond? U wan beat d man? No try am oo?

D mata no concern u at all.just maintain. Dey ur own

if u form actor u go go cel

He knows this, he just needs attention from the people here. Do these people get a rush from these fake threads?

"Two days ago,I was in my street(just returning from work)when I saw my neighbours whom we know each other well(A man and his wife)living two houses away from mine were at each others throats shamelessly (come see people),to top it,their two year old baby was somewhere crying his eyes"

Johndoe100:

He knows this, he just needs attention from the people here. Do these people get a rush from these fake threads?

"Two days ago,I was in my street(just returning from work)when I saw my neighbours whom we know each other well(A man and his wife)living two houses away from mine were at each others throats shamelessly (come see people),to top it,their two year old baby was somewhere crying his eyes"

Bros if u think the thread is fake,why waste your time on it.

hot n cold: Bros if u think the thread is fake,why waste your time on it.

Entertainment twerp entertainment.

hot n cold: Why all these harsh tones here, abi I kill person.I only ask an innocous question that demand little aggression from contributors.

@ Kobojunkie,Mactunji, et al if I were to be a younger brother to one of you,who came with a cap in for an advice/suggestion,would this HONESTLY be the way you would attend to me?

He with no sin should cast the first stone.The tone here is not just fair.

I only suggested that you may actually be helpless to do anything whenever you come across a man beating his wife. Now, how is that harsh?

You no try OP and you know it.You could have atleast taking the little child,wiped her tears and carry him or her home or something.

I'm living in Nigeria and I know that keeping a child safe and away from fighting parents NEVER backfires.Trying to seperate the couple might.
you can end up collecting a slap/blow/bottle meant for another pesin and all you'll get is "sorry"

ifyalways: I'm living in Nigeria and I know that keeping a child safe and away from fighting parents NEVER backfires.Trying to seperate the couple might.
you can end up collecting a slap/blow/bottle meant for another pesin and all you'll get is "sorry"

So? What is wrong in taking that slap for that other person who is being violated?? I mean if that is what it takes for the violator to see that he is in the wrong, why not? If this man where to see how he slaps his wife, when that blow meant for her lands on a stranger or someone else he respects, don't you think that will cause him to think twice about his stupid actions?

People need to be more empathetic in that country abeg. All the cold, cold reactions creeped me out as a child growing up down there and it still sends chills down my spine each day when I read that people still would rather walk by when they see wrong happening to a fellow human being.

Johndoe100:

Entertainment twerp entertainment.

John Olodoe,you can do better than this

ifyalways: You no try OP and you know it.You could have atleast taking the little child,wiped her tears and carry him or her home or something.

I'm living in Nigeria and I know that keeping a child safe and away from fighting parents NEVER backfires.Trying to seperate the couple might.
you can end up collecting a slap/blow/bottle meant for another pesin and all you'll get is "sorry"

Ify I will work on that angle,its just that I was a little disoriented at thta time.Thanks all the same.

Kobojunkie:

So? What is wrong in taking that slap for that other person who is being violated?? I mean if that is what it takes for the violator to see that he is in the wrong, why not? If this man where to see how he slaps his wife, when that blow meant for her lands on a stranger or someone else he respects, don't you think that will cause him to think twice about his stupid actions?

People need to be more empathetic in that country abeg. All the cold, cold reactions creeped me out as a child growing up down there and it still sends chills down my spine each day when I read that people still would rather walk by when they see wrong happening to a fellow human being.

Bros HONESTLY tell me you have seperated a serious fight before not to talk of that of a husband and wife.Be candid,thanks.

@kobo, nothing is wrong with collecting blow or bottle meant for another in the cause of being empathetic. I didn't say anything was wrong in that.
I never knew empathy translates to throwing away common sense and putting your life on the line for another person. How "real" can we get ? How do one deal with having a permanent scar all because s/he was acting goody-two-shoes and worst of it, come to realize that the couple made up that same day and were rolling in bed while s/he is still being stiched.
There are better ways to show empathy without endangering your own life, especially in a lawless community like ours.

hot n cold: Bros HONESTLY tell me you have seperated a serious fight before not to talk of that of a husband and wife.Be candid,thanks.

I have! I got my head broken as a kid trying to separate a fight(I was hit on the head by a bucket). I was the one who bled but the other kid was able to walk away. I have even gotten in between a fight here one night between a guy and his galfriend(African Americans in an alley at night, and I got talking to him about how his mother did not waste her time teaching him all the lessons about not laying a hand on a woman.

ifyalways: @kobo, nothing is wrong with collecting blow or bottle meant for another in the cause of being empathetic. I didn't say anything was wrong in that.
I never knew empathy translates to throwing away common sense and putting your life on the line for another person. How "real" can we get ? How do one deal with having a permanent scar all because s/he was acting goody-two-shoes and worst of it, come to realize that the couple made up that same day and were rolling in bed while s/he is still being stiched.
There are better ways to show empathy without endangering your own life, especially in a lawless community like ours.

What you said that has nothing to do with common sense. If common sense again translates to watching another human being beaten in front of you without you doing something to stop it then I ask you the source of your 'common sense'.

How come majority of the times I talk to Nigerians about helping others and empathizing with their neighbors, they always seem to come up with "common sense" that suggests SELF FIRST, everyone else when possible? A woman is being beaten and you just want to ignore her suffering because you don't want to get hit and that is what you have declared to be common sense? To a man going to the aid of a woman in trouble is him being a goody-two-shoe? Really? So you would see a woman in trouble and walk on by because you don't want to get hurt yourself?

Did you ever stop to think that the reason that society is lawless is because people like you choose to look out for self first . . instead of calling things as they are and standing against oppression of the weak, you would rather walk on by.
aiaiaiaiaaia!!!

ifyalways: You no try OP and you know it.You could have atleast taking the little child,wiped her tears and carry him or her home or something.

I'm living in Nigeria and I know that keeping a child safe and away from fighting parents NEVER backfires.Trying to seperate the couple might.
you can end up collecting a slap/blow/bottle meant for another pesin and all you'll get is "sorry"

Ify, not everybody lives in ghetto now! I mean, errr... lots of people live in gated houses outside the kind of high density areas you apparently occupy. Just walking into peoples houses is not possible where I live but face me I face you sha is different.

Johnny, you and I know I live in a ghetto, that's no news anymore. My reply was in tune with the OP's story. Apparently, wherever the OP lived, he was able to see and hear what was happening in his neighbours room, apartment or condo.

@kobo,I would love to see people with your mindset on Nigerian streets. I've seen a lot on the internet and honestly, they don't impress me anymore.

ifyalways: Johnny, you and I know I live in a ghetto, that's no news anymore. My reply was in tune with the OP's story. Apparently, wherever the OP lived, he was able to see and hear what was happening in his neighbours room, apartment or condo.

@kobo,I would love to see people with your mindset on Nigerian streets. I've seen a lot on the internet and honestly, they don't impress me anymore.

What is needed is a change of attitude on the streets towards the next door neighbor is all.

I mean this is what Jesus taught . . Open the bible and you read over and over where Jesus says that to please God one has to love his next door enough as self -- see God in that person, and understand that he/she will be judged for whatever happens to that person. This is a pillar of Christianity -- the second greatest commandment. Yet the vast majority of those I know who claim to be Christians in Nigeria ignore this even as they claim to be more Christian than even the pope. ***shudders***