Really funny and a nice piece. You have the skill. Keep it up.

Sam Milla: You can't go down three storeyed staircase but your lazy a.rse can sit down facing nairaland or facebook for many minutes typing all this. See it as exercise and you will love it.

I believe its satire...just enjoy it.

uberino: SSCCCHIIIAAAAIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA, Only a real Nigerian can understand that sound.

I agree!!!
Thanks for making me laugh ,OP....hilarious piece!!well done....
by the way, those of u talkin abt grammatical errors should go and rest, abeg...una be im English lecturer??see wahala o!!!

Bros this is wonderful

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:
“Who are you?” My boss asked him specifically, his hand still raised for the strike on his hated foe.

“Well, we’re from the PHCN,” the man replied pompously. “This building is yet to settle its bill and we’re here to disconnect…..”

SSCCCHIIIAAAAIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!

I’m being truthful when i say that I never knew that my boss kept a machete somewhere beside his desk and this was quite an amazing moment to discover that fact.The PHCN officials, however, had no time for amazement. That was mainly because they had fled the doorway where they had stood only a moment ago. It was at this point I had more reason for amazement. Usually, it takes me nearly a full minute to get downstairs from up where the cybercafe was located. In thirty seconds, the three men were already out of the building and off down the street! Even more amazing in their race for dear life was that the pot bellied man was well ahead, his belly bouncing up and down as he ran like a ball being juggled by Cristiano Ronaldo. The unkempt one followed quite a surprising distance behind and, bringing up the rear on his short legs, the one that had spoken and triggered the revelation of the machete.

Having depatched of the rag tag three, my boss turned back to Igbo Accent to resume their epic battle. Only that Igbo accent wasn’t there to pick up the cudgels. Having correctly deduced that if any heads were to roll besides those of the PHCN officials, it would be his, he had taken off in the small melee that had trailed the machete revelation. So had everyone else that was in the cybercafe. Suddenly I realized that besides my boss, I was the only one left in the room. Hope this guy wasn’t actually raving crazy, i thought, alarmed. If he came for me with the machete, my chances of escape were non existent. He was standing in the doorway, the only escape avenue. I quickly scanned the room for any place I could hide. I couldn’t find any.

“E don be for me,” I whispered to myself.

My boss turned to me, his face still contorted in anger. After looking at me in silence for about a minute, he burst into uncontrolled laughter.

My God, i thought to myself. His village people have finally got him. He’s now mad. I prayed to everything I could think of, promising to devote my life to charity and good works if i got out of this alive. I would never lie in my life again, i swore. I would give a lavish offering in church this sunday but I would have to be in Church to be able to give it. Please save me God, I prayed.

This is HILARIOUS!!! Laughing and crying now. OMG.

meh guy u try i wan stop for half road i said to myself no jst finish it. U kn na it long chai oh ! But i finished am.

Can't stop laughing...oh my God.... hilarious. Good one here.

Nice Article, story or whatever its called, although i didn't read it to the end, but the part i read was interesting kinda like a Novel. you should seriously consider writing Novels, you are good at telling stories

Man ur d best. I advice u put effort in writin articles of this nature. Man u just made my day. Thumbs up. Tuale 4 u

Chei, see water for my eyes.lol

for those saying it's always impossible, it's VERY POSSIBLE. i have witnessed when PHCN took light 25 times in a day, i had to switch off everything just because i didn't want them to spoil stuffs for me. (i think a pole fell and the wire kept touching eachother.)

Nice short story. I really enjoyed it and it's quite hillarious. Bravo writer and perhaps you could post more interesting ones too.

@OP: This is just AWESOME. I can totally relate with the Frustration PHCN causes.

Men this is crazy, every was wondering what i took this morning...they thought i was at my period again. if i have this everyday, there will be no need to weed again.

I LOVE THIS PIECE
NICE WORK BRO

nice one,u crack my ribs.keep it up pal

hahahaha, dude u wan kill me with laugh. Thanx a lot 4 making my sad mood 2 happy. U too much..

Efpmk (erin fe pa mi ku)

Pple like you make me scared to write my crap... Fantastic!

fuckLord: Nna mehn, dis tin dikwa too long o... Summary o dia?

LAZY READER

Hey senbonzakura_kageyoshi abi wetin be that your name self? I have this for you

I REGRETTED READING THIS PIECE OF WRITE-UP OF YOURS WHERE I DID BECAUSE I WAS UNABLE TO LAUGH AS I OUGHT TO IN ORDER TO AVOID BEING SUSPECTED AS A ### PERSON. NEXT TIME GIVE THE READER AN INSIGHT TO WHAT HE/SHE IS ABOUT TO READ

MAKE I NO LIE YOU TRY

Masterpiece! Quite inspiring and hilarious.Couldn't have been better constructed. A big thank you.

@ OP, if I said u killed someone with laughter, its an understatement. U just massacred people in cold-blood with laughing gas. (while I was laughing my brother came askin me "what is d problem")
Men that was a great story.

Another day in the life of a Nigerian

i usually don't read Nl write-ups as long as this but then i saw the comments and scrolled back up to read...and i must say...
This is a very good work...,very graphic and very Nigerian...
Thumbs up to the op!

funny . . . and very sad

this is exactly how phcn is destroying businesses all over the country

and driving up operating costs

generator plus pure sinewave inverter plus direct online ups plus industrial stabilizer plus 200ah deepcycle dry cell and so on and so forth

Nice interesting piece!

I can't but use my golden fingers to type how much I enjoyed this piece. This comical shit happens to millions of Nigerian youths daily.
Pele OP. Your better tomorrow is close by

THIS IS RUBBISH. ARRANT NONSENSE. THE WRITER MUST BE A TALKATIVE. I WONDER WAT SOME PEOPLE GAIN IN WRITING LONG STORIES. STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. NOBDY WIL VE TIME TO FINISH DIS RUBBISH. I TRIED ND STOPPED HALF WAY. ANYWAY,HE IS USING A FREE NET TIME.MTTSHEW

honeric01: Chei, see water for my eyes.lol

for those saying it's always impossible, it's VERY POSSIBLE. i have witnessed when PHCN took light 25 times in a day, i had to switch off everything just because i didn't want them to spoil stuffs for me. (i think a pole fell and the wire kept touching eachother.)

Indeed very possible. When these PHCN guys go on their revenue drives, locally, power becomes very unstable. Because of the crude nature of their distribution network each disconnection is preceded by a general outage. That is also the disadvantage of having your businesses or homes in multiplexes. Nice story. Something we can all identify with.

Interesting & thank God d light is constant now,& dont mind dos that doesn't no more dan 2 criticise

Nice write up. I actually read through it; really funny.

And I really admire your creativity in writing, it takes a well groomed writer to put up that incident in a very intresting and readable piece like what you just did here.

Keep it up and more grease to your elbows.