European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.


In the first year, the letter 's' will replace the soft 'c'. creating words like Sertainly & sivil servants.


The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensibl
riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.


Peas and lov to yu.


Let us all start speaking this simplified English

Its d best thing for everybody.

ze konfusion of englisk languag vill no longa pose a froblem fo oda uropian nations

dis is a gud 1.am gona adopt dis

no mor bein sorry bt sory

no mor lateness bt latenes

no mor actually bt aktualy

i tink i lik dis

hehe!!

Zhis iz a feli 9z wey tu speek!

spokes on

comot 4 rod jo,let me pose 4 my wedin fotograf

u expekt me to accept ur komplicated fiz pose?

Yels nau!

tufia

werin apen