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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce (8809 Views)
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Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by oluite(f): 4:00pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
^Please Kindly post more lessons on how to curb an abusive |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by SisiKill1: 4:01pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
jennykadry: ^^^You are such a psychopath and an egostical Buffon. Look at him putting all the blames of a failed marriage on a woman. Who brought you into this world? Do you have sisters at all? Any female relatives? You can always spot the ones who don't have any respect for women from a mile away. . . you don't even hafta read their profile. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Okontami: 4:02pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
jennykadry: ^^^You are such a psychopath and an egostical Buffon. Look at him putting all the blames of a failed marriage on a woman. Who brought you into this world? Do you have sisters at all? Any female relatives?Madam, i love and appreciate your passion. There are different ways to express one's self. This is the way you have chosen. I am not blaming the woman or taking sides. I said she has an option, either keep quiet and ensure less talk or leave the house to a place where she will not be accused wrongly. Any one who guard his tongue don't usually get into trouble. I will take your harsh words as merely how best you can express your views. OKONTAMI |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by armyofone(m): 4:06pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Abomination! beating you in your little child presence? Are you still waiting for validation? By now you should have gathered some naija awon boyz to give him a good beating same day you are moving out. when you plan to move, take the key along and throw it away. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Okontami: 4:18pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill:Sisi Kill, Thanks a lot. Am not boasting , am happily married and very very comfortable |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by SisiKill1: 4:21pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Okontami: Sisi Kill, Thanks a lot. Am not boasting , am happily married and very very comfortable You are but is she. . . ? Now that's where the real truth is at! 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by MrsChima1(f): 5:23pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
OP You have to make a decision that is logical for you. Whether you can afford the child or not isn't the answer. The question is are you ready to step out on your own and thrive as a single parent? Children raised in unstable and violative homes do not flourish. They will only repeat the cycle if it is not nipped in the bud. Good luck. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by 2mch(m): 5:46pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Am quite speechless here. This is a case of damned if you do, and damned if you dont. Since you want 2 kids in your life, i think you have achieved that. It will be in your best interest to move out, and leave him to get his life together. Have that kid please. It is not a bastard or unwanted. Just save your life and secure your kids future by having some self respect. Goodluck. Both of you are surely unstable and insane. I dont think anyone will abuse you in any way if you dont create the environment for it. We all teach people how to treat us. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Nobody: 6:21pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say; 1. Abort that Pregnancy 2. Drop the first child for him 3. Get a divorce and leave his poverty-stricken house This is the natural thing to do. Poor people like to beat their wives as if they are the cause of their problems. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Ivynwa(f): 6:22pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
I am wondering what it is about poster's first son that the husband is saying ruined his life? Is the child differently abled/ Poster don't abort the child, as you want two children find your way out of that dangerous situation (before you get killed) and go have your child and take care of the two of them. Is he not better off having non of you to care for as your presence in his life frustrates him? I have never heard of a Nigeria man that has this phobia for commitment like the man does,Nigerian men always appreciate their offsprings. You sound very unhappy poster and to think that you are pregnant too. Distance yourself from him for a while and have peace of mind first till you deliver and if he isn't interested in taking care of his family-----you know what to do. Do you intend to foist yourself forever on a man that does not want you and the kids around him? |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by freecocoa(f): 6:29pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Billyonaire: You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say;Yeah you are the wisest of them all |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by shaybebaby(f): 6:35pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Billyonaire: You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say; Put yourself in the child's shoes, if your mum had done what you advise in such a situation, how would you feel? The child is not loved by the father and yet you say leave the child with him.smh. When that said child grows with a role model like his dad and becomes a bully, will he not go and inflict the same thing on someone else's unsuspecting daughter...and the cycle continues. Don't know about you but any sane person would put their child's wellbeing first above their own. The child didn't ask to be born so shouldn't pay for the parent's mistakes. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Nobody: 6:38pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
shaybe baby:Thank you, then I suggest she takes the child back to the poor man's parent or even her own mom, then find a job and be sending money for the kid's upkeep. No punny for a lazy man, fullstop! |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by coogar: 6:42pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Call me naive oh but I've always been of the opinion that you have sexxx with someone you feel intimately close to, someone you trust and are very attracted to. So I just can't understand how OP can still find the monster she has describe here attractive enough to have sexx with him again and again. yes, you are naive! sex doesn't have to be with someone you love, trust, gravitational force of attraction, etc forget your mills and boon, sex is a reflex action. when you are hungry, you eat. thirst - drink, itch - scratch!
can't blame the op - she's still his wife! marriage duties must be fulfilled. she was hoping her method would work but it wasn't to be. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Kobojunkie: 6:52pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by free2ryhme: 7:09pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Kobojunkie:can't you close your mouth |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Johndoe100(m): 8:28pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
MiracleChild: Even your mother understood how wrong you were, and advised you to change your ways. You amended your behavior to change the situation, that is why he stopped smacking you. MiracleChild: You trapped him with the pregnancy and expect him to thank you. MiracleChild: You want to kill the man? First child he has not coped with the financial demands, you want to add another one. How selfish you are. What’s all this about you anyway? The man is the head of the family and he should plan his family. MiracleChild: Yes, woman. It’s his decision to make. MiracleChild: Yes, you treat him as a king, by disobeying him at the slightest opportunity, taking decisions that are rightfully his and so obviously being a selfish , immature brat. You are the worst kind of female, it is your kind that we pray our children don’t meet. MiracleChild: If you knew anything about the bible you would have followed your mothers advice and built your home instead of planning how to complete the entrapment and destruction of the poor man. I will tell you the truth. Please divorce the man. He needs to be free from you. Any man that falls into your trap you will try and finish. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by MrsChima1(f): 8:52pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
freecocoa: Yeah you are the wisest of them all |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Daresh(f): 11:09pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
Okontami: @Poster, your problem is simple ignorance. There are ways you can curb an abusive man, but it take s a lot of sacrifice. The truth is you will now be more calm, less talk, less complaint, you must not compare him with any one , do not abuse him back, do not argue with him. Do everything that will make you faultless. You will say this is slavery, but you have 2 options in an abusive marriage, keep mute and be the big full or act wise and have no future with the man. Its so clear that most abusive men grow to be very loving and kind men who have regrets for all the evils they might have done against you. But if this involves your life, please run away and give him a break. Run to his parents house preferably before you are accused of infidelity. The Lord is your shepherd o. I disagree completely. There are women that do all things right and still get beaten up. A bully will always be a bully, even if she lies down like a doormat. How can yo do that to your child woman. If your child is a boy, he will grow up to be a wife beater, if its a girl she will not see anything wrong with being beaten by her husband. Take your children and flee. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Nobody: 11:40pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
I started off getting depressed and sad with this topic then i read a post about the woman having to adjust her behaviour and attitude to "change" her man and i'm actually laughing so hard right now. poster ultimately you have to make a choice. i'm tired of all these depressing stories about bad marriages everyday - i'm still recovering from the nonsensical rubbish K-SOLO saga |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by DukeNija(m): 12:27am On Aug 31, 2012 |
Some men were created with the Leftovers on the eve of the 7th day. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Nobody: 2:38am On Aug 31, 2012 |
MiracleChild: but the day i do the DnC is the day the marriage is over Have only read the original post so I'm sure it has already been pointed out ad nauseum but I just had to marvel at this part. Why the hell would you want to wait for the D and C before leaving? Think with a clear mind o. Leave now, have your baby. Very simple. Abi you too want the abortion ni? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Genius100: 9:56pm On Aug 31, 2012 |
Johndoe100: Guy, do you know this woman? |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Nobody: 8:33am On Sep 01, 2012 |
[quoteMiracleChild] Also things were not this bad till something happend to my husband career wise n he hasn't been happy since den. Have you not been supportive to him or what ? My advice don't go for abortion b/cos that baby is not d problem in ur marriage, the problems were their before the pregnancy. I pray for God to help you and your husband and give you solution. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by maclatunji: 3:49pm On Sep 01, 2012 |
jennykadry: If you have the kid, your marriage is over, if you Don't have the child It is still over. So what is your point? U wanna lose the pregnancy and still lose that home that is already lost? Or you wanna keep the pregnancy and lose nothing? Brilliant logic. OP, keep your unborn child safe. Your husband will come back some day to beg. Make him taste some dirt for his selfishness on that day- he deserves it if all you've said is true. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by ferhyntorlah(f): 2:36pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
Okontami: I said she has an option, either keep quiet and ensure less talk. OKONTAMI Have you not seen/heard of situations in which the woman kept quiet and the man still physically abused her starting with an unexpected hot slap! IMO, keeping quiet for an abusive man only stir up his anger the more. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by ferhyntorlah(f): 2:40pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
Dear Poster, I will advise you keep the pregnancy, moves out of the house with your child and lay low for a while. Since he doesn't value you and the child, you people should leave him alone and let him bear life burdens alone and cut any financial assistance towards him. Inform both families of your decision that: 1. You can't nurture your child and coming ones in an abusive environment. 2. He asked you to abort your current pregnancy. This alone will make them go 'gaga' on him. 3. That you want to have the baby and can't go throughout the three trimesters with him around you because he will cause you to develop Pregnancy Induced High Blood Pressure, which won't be good for you and the baby. Let both families know that IF they want you both together then he has to sign an MOU that such occurrences won't happen. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by ferhyntorlah(f): 3:01pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
Billyonaire: You brought pains to yourself cos of good conscience. If you ask me about your direct ticket to happiness, I will say, Mr, I strongly disagree with your views on the bolded parts. Didn't you read where she said she wanted only two children? So you want her to leave her first child, abort the coming one and leave the abusive man to start life afresh, isn't it? I doubt the poster is thinking along this line of thought. Billyonaire: Natural thing? I don hear you. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by ima1(f): 4:53pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
Man, after reading some of the replies here, it really makes me regret being a Nigerian. I guess opinions are like a s s h o l e s everyone has one. You all forget it takes 2 to make a baby, its the woman's fault for getting pregnant and trapping the man, what an ignorant thing to say, i guess when you are ignorant you will just end up saying B u l l s h i t. @Johndoe100 you are an ignorant fool, who needs to have his head examined. while the entire world has evolved you are still stuck up in the oppressive culture that blames the woman for everything, i feel sorry for the woman that ends up with ur D u m b a s s. @Poster Please don't abort the baby because you will end up regretting it, the man will come and go as he pleases, but Karma always comes back to bite in the A S S. If you can afford to take care of yourself and kid, then do it. Ignore most of the advice on this forum, most of them are made by ignorant f o o l s, none of them are in the house going through everything you are going through so their opinion shouldn't matter, these are the same people who will say why didn't she leave if God forbid you die during an abortion. I basically live by this rule, if you are not in my house going through whatever i am going through then i don't give a s h i t about ur opinion. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Kobojunkie: 5:01pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
ima1: Man, after reading some of the replies here, it really makes me regret being a Nigerian. I guess opinions are like a s s h o l e s everyone has one. I just have to address this. Your great-great-grandmothers said "it takes two . . .", yet at the end of the day, they were the ones who bore the burden. Your great-grandmothers used the same excuse . . "it takes two . . .", they said but at the end of the day, they(your great-grandmothers) where the ones who bore the burden alone when the men disappeared or no longer had use for them. Your grandmothers also said "it takes two . . .) but when they were abandoned by some of these men, they too had to bare the burden alone. Your mothers also said the same thing . . and we see what happened today... . . thousands of abandoned mothers barely 100% of the burden of raising their kids alone. I think it is time women do away with the "It takes two . . ." mentality/excuse and instead work on protecting their bodies and their children. No one is else is going to do that job for you . . it is more than clear now. If after all these centuries, and examples women still say things like "It takes two . . "after they allow their bodies to be used to drag an innocent soul into a hard world for the umpteenth time, then it is clear such women are dolts. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by ima1(f): 5:11pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
I said it takes 2 in the sense that a woman cannot impregnate herself. I do agree with you that women end up bearing 100% of the burden because of irresponsible men. |
Re: My Husband Wants Me To Have An Abortion . I Want A Divorce by Kobojunkie: 5:14pm On Sep 02, 2012 |
ima1: I said it takes 2 in the sense that a woman cannot impregnate herself. I do agree with you that women end up bearing 100% of the burden because of irresponsible men. Majority of the time it happens with the consent of the women . . they need to be more responsible seeing that the so-called men in their lives for the problem are irresponsible bunch raised mostly by other women with little or no respect for women. These men didn't come from mass . . they came from where? The womb of some of these same women . . so, again, woman need to take more responsibility for the decay in the society, and activity do something about it. If more women took it on themselves to have children they are equipped to handle and raise the sons to respect all women . .. society would not be half where it is today(these problems are not in anyway isolated). |
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