I have two very close friends that complain to me whenever the have the slightest opportunity either through telephone or physical about GETTING TOO INVOLVED IN THEIR CARRER AND DONT FEEL ANYTHING ( EMOTIONS) FOR ANYBODY NO MATER HOW THEY TRY TO PRETEND TO LOVE IT ISNT JUST WORKING.
This are guys that aren't players or the extremely social types.
One is a medical doctor while the other is a Computer whiz kid. Rather than falling in love with someone (a partner) they are in love with their carrer.

Please nairalanders give advices to this dudes as they will get to read your responces themselves.
Thanks

I have two very close friends that complain to me whenever the have the slightest opportunity either through telephone or physical about GETTING TOO INVOLVED IN THEIR CARRER AND DONT FEEL ANYTHING ( EMOTIONS) FOR ANYBODY NO MATER HOW THEY TRY TO PRETEND TO LOVE IT ISNT JUST WORKING.
This are guys that aren't players or the extremely social types.
One is a medical doctor while the other is a Computer whiz kid. Rather than falling in love with someone (a partner) they are in love with their carrer.

Please nairalanders give advices to this dudes as they will get to read your responces themselves.
Thanks

@ post

I think the guys should ask themselves if they woud like their lifes to be what it is right now in the next 10yrs, i mean just work, no wife or kids.
I pretty sure that should ring a bell in their heads and hearts

some ppl are like dat. i think they need partners who work in d same organization as they do. dat way, they can spend more time together & maybe, d feelin might just grow. (i guess)

Yeah, thoes dudes are my kind of guys. I don't believe in the kind of relationships being practiced today, so I rather get more comitted to my career than to somebody that can fail me. My heart is fragile, I can't stand heart breaks.

Guys, if sticking to your career make you happy, remain like that.

So what?

Your friends need to ask themselves if they want to get married, have kids, build a family. If they are not prepared for all of these they should go ahead and be bachelors all their lives and tie the knots with their careers.

But if they eventually wish to get married or settle down, they should kindly inform their partners of their issues before venturing into marriage. So if the women still agree on marrying them, they have no reason to complain afterwards.

On the issue of love, I think they've not met the right person and they are not open in meeting the right one. I'm not really the social type but when I desperately need something I have to break out of my shell and go for it. If you want to love someone you have to get out and look for her. You can't sit in a chair, cover yourself in books and expect miracles to happen.

Seun:

So what?

Money is not everything-However it's almost.

Yes it can affect your love life if you marry someone who is committed to his/her career seriously---cannot live without career----MUST WORK, WORK, WORK! He/She does not think about married life even children as well as immediate family. I mean he/she does not have time for his/her quality time spending with his/her spouse and children.

No matter how hard to try to reconcile their marriage- - - still rocky even sought marriage counseling does not work.

It happened to me in the past. Yes, it is fact that some people who is seriously committed to job more important than family or himself/herself, but his/her healthy will deteriorate in the future if he/she do not take care of hiself/herself, eating properly and too much depression.

For me, it is better if this person is seriously committed to career for the rest of life---better off being single, the less this person's life will be short, period!

Career First
Relationship Second

It is possible for the woman or guy in the relationship to say no more i want out. Career is ur life. lol no need to advice it is obvious

Yes, career can affect your love life.
Every one has to find a balance between career and private life, otherwise, they'll live a long boring and tiring life at the long run!

Career could adversely affect our love life if we're not careful. I almost lost my boyfriend once to too much dedication to my job.
Fortunately, I saw the handwritng on the wall and was fast enough to discourage the lady that was encroaching into my property FAST!

it depends on the kind of person you are.
I have doctor friends who we roll together on Friday nites.

My kinda job too is hectic and i still will give my babe a TLC anytime.
Your job should not disturb ur LIFE or ull be miserable even with all the money.

@fizofly
i bet the nairalanders in this forum are not interested in your topic, to draw their attention go and post it in career romance section or job seekers they would sually reply you and fast.

Well the truth is this when you have passion for something you dont get distracted easily, and thats how it is even when you have a job you love.

Girls dont really mean much to you than just a source of pleasure whenever you want to celebrate a victory or you are searching for ideas.

The real deal is for you to always be around the opposite sex that has the same passion for your job as you have and then you wouldn't be having problem.

If you try and go and date a regular girl with that sought of passion you have for your job, you are doomed in two ways one she is so gonna wait till she looses interest in you, and becomes promiscious while under you or you just gonna get a heart break when you need her the most.

Girl continue with the passion you have for your job the girls would come later when you are at the peak of your career dont worry that time they dont really need your presence all they need is your money and your surname to brag with

i hope i didnt say much.

PS: now you would get the reply you wanted from nairalanders wait and see

@ YES!

it does.

Having personally passed through the stage where career affect love life, I can say that the whole things depend on one's orientation and attitude. And to a large extent the people around you.

A lot have been said above. What have not been said is that No matter how rich and successful you are, your life would be boring and incomplete without someone to love you the way you are. Someone you can lean on when the reality of life hit you. Someone you can trust.

The guys above can be encouraged to befriend lady of their choice, casually. That way, the relationship would grow naturally. I think the trouble with the guys is not that they can't find love of woman. The real problem is that they have not found the kind of woman they want. We must realize that their jobs, in this case, Medicine and Computer take them away from socialisation. To help them, they must find time to mingle with people and socialize freely with male who can help them no matter how short that time may be. Gradually, they would pick the message up.

This suggestion is very helpful especially if the guys are introverts. No man, no matter how strong, can resist the urge to be near a woman for a long time unless he is either castrated, a monk, or is having chronic emotional problems.

I conclude that while career can indeed affect love life, it is the behavorial patterns of the victims that make it a problem. I agrees with Yimiton, that one must strike a balance between the two. Anything else would simply hurt the victims and eventually ruin their career.

How then do you balance the two?

Am actually female and I find myself going through the same this guys go thru and all of a sudden, it's not male gender specific.

It is not hard to do. No matter how busy you are, you can balance the two. It depends on the nature of your job. I can try to help though. But then, I would naturally ask questions since we are not seeing face-to-face.

I hope yimiton would join the dialogue.

well, i think the issue shouldnt be forced, i mean i doubt is because of career, i doubt they'v met the riht person, when they do, or when they are freally ready to settle down, luv will come irrespective of career