St. Peter came to the Lord and said, "Lord, I have to talk to you. I have a problem. I know we didn't have many Jamaicans in heaven so you instituted an affirmative action plan and we are supposed to have 10,000 Jamaicans in heaven. But they are causing so many problems!

They have torn down the Pearly Gates by swinging on them. They have let in another 10,000 of their bredrin through the fence. They are constantly standing by the gate disturbing Angel Gabriel begging for "bly" for their cousin, sistren, neighbour, granny, auntie , Whenever it is their turn to watch the gates they keep letting in good looking women and fat women.

They have stolen my harp. They have gotten jerk sauce all over their white robes. Drum pan chicken is being sold all over the Streets of Gold. Some are walking around with only one wing because they are "styling".

Angels must have two wings to fly! Some of them have put chrome wings and are dazzling the other angels when they are flying. The white robes are eternal and must be washed five times a day. Some haven't washed their robes since they arrived because they didn't come to heaven do "day's work". Some have refused to take their turn in helping keep the Stairway to Heaven clean because "dem ah no helper".

Many who came here because they used salt are still using it because they don't like "ital" food. Some refuse to wear their halos because they don't fit right overt heir hairstyles. Others are wearing their halos backways. Others are wearing their halos with the tags still attached to them. Others have discarded the white halos and are wearing gold ones instead they claim these are "bashy" Most of the women have discarded their white robes and are wearing white shorts and "batty riders" claiming that they have pretty skin and want: to show off their "bandy legs"

Reggae music is blasted at all hours of night at their "bashments", disturbing all the other residents. Their cellular phones are worn on their robes and keep ringing during prayers. Recently there was an altercation between Adam and one Jamaican who claims he was only "checking" Eve. They have planted marijuana in the Garden of Eden since the soil is so fertile claiming "man and man haffi hustle".

What should I do?!" The Lord said, "It wouldn't be fair to not let Jamaicans in heaven. They have just as much right to be here as other nationalities. Maybe we just don't know how to deal with them; maybe we are using the wrong approach. We need to check with someone who has more experience dealing with them. Let's call the Devil.

The Devil answered the phone and said, "Hello, Lord. What can I do for you?" The Lord said, "We have a problem up here, and we'd like to talk to you about it." The Devil said, "Just a minute, I've got to put you on hold." The Devil was gone five minutes. He came back to the phone and said, "OK Lord, I'm back. What's up?" The Lord said, "Well, I would like to talk to you about a problem up here." Once again the Devil excused himself and put the Lord on hold. This time he was gone for fifteen minutes. Finally, the Devil came back to the phone and said, "Lord, I am really sorry, but I can't talk to you right now. Have to go. These damm Jamaicans down here , yesterday they just had air conditioning put in. Now they have just put out the hell's fire! saying "man come to hell to "cool out"!

****Nice****
But some saboteurs might not see the humour in it for the sake of initiation.
Have you been initiated by the self-imposed nairaland big boys.

I haven't been approached by these self-imposing big boys but I'll sure pass.I'm a one man army.Thx though.

Don't worry.They are just toothless-lion(s).They will soon feature.
*****They are seriously peeping and watching for a crack( I mean loophole) for their visa.*****
Goodluck.

aristole, please who ar these big boys

please give me a list so that i may deal with them

@tufe.
Hmmmmmmmmm.Let sleeping dogs lie.
It's even unworthy to waste our time on them.Things would unfold itself soon.

********Is Patiently awaiting the expected but won't be hiding for long

1,Too Long
2,Remix
3,Not funny
migs ,clem,sauce,iteun and TT where are you guys?

hmm its nice aristole wats bugging ur butt

@Clemcykul.Why are you turning down the clarion call from Thug-Life,

he's backing you up, and you're dissing, you funny sha.

please oo, i still need that list of big boys, they have to report to the new self acclaimed General

The touch the Bigboys cos we will burn you.


Moreover the joke is serious ly remixed. I was done initially with Nigerians now its Jamaicns. think well b4 you posy any s**t here.

W eperoh, so you are one of the big boys hey, _{searches for rifle} you're lucky, cant find it. probably another day

Ur mummy returned it to the toy store. Stupid!

*ignores aristole comment coz its imatured and sentimental*

i really feel u want to get even wid me but for what i cant really say but all the *get off my case huh?*

*ignores aristole comment coz its imatured and sentimental*

i really feel u want to get even wid me but for what i cant really say but all the same *get off my case huh?*

The joke rocks but the poster must answer query when judgement comes

@CLem

THe "Double post" virus don affect you

Whoever that was looking for a rifle to fire me was like asking to be sent out of this Thread he should be VERY careful

cc Ituen, Miggy, Clemcy. pls take note of that guy.

emperoh, i didnt know the boys had blended you. or are you just trying to force your way in without an invitation

@Emperoh

If wat i hear is true, its a shame you go join secondary school cult. YOu come even be thier errand boy (in terms of food)

ROTFLMAO

the guy no just try at all

:p

am back

Gud 4 u.

Damn men, i spend a few days out of d country wif me ppls tryn 2 make dis world & nlnd a beta, safer place 4 all of u & som punk is already callin himself a General??
Tufe!!! I can take almost anytin!! I'v evn learnt 2 put up wif dat damn sauce kid, but i cant, wnt or shallnt take dis, u r FIRED!!!

@gundust, i think u are just plain stupid

guy go crash