How do I spice up our boredom lives. - Family - Nairaland
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| How do I spice up our boredom lives. by ReLaTE(m): 10:00am On Sep 30, 2012 |
I wl be getting married soon and I love my fiance bt I just hv an issue bothering me about our lives that I need ur help in tackling. I hv dated few girls in d past bt found that am more happy and comfortable in a relationship with not too quiet girls. Those ones that cn chat wt me on any topic while I listen and contribute were mostly the ones I enjoyed their companion and relationship.I am gentle and quiet by nature,i dnt talk much unless on some particular topics that interest me much like sports,music,tech,currrent affairs etc. Am nt d movie type especially d local type bt cn manage a foreign seasonal movies. Now my fiance is also the quiet type as I,she hardly talk bt wenever i raised a topic to chat with her I always finds out dat she's nt interested. She's is d movie type mainly nollywood,she doesn't like sports or watching documentries bt wld prefer african magic everytime. Am feeling boredom in her company bt I dnt want it to continue like that. I asked her abt her hobbies and she gave me d shock of my life that her hobbies are watching movie and sleeping,mehn I was speechless,i ask her again do u mean sleeping as hobby?and she said yes and I left. I need mature suggestion frm u guys hw I cn spice up our lives so that we cn be compatible,those wt previous experience cn offer me a working method that will work for us. Tnks |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by k2039: 10:20am On Sep 30, 2012 |
[size=13pt] That's her nature,it's either you live with that or you pull ot of the relationship. To expect otherwise would not only be slightly crazy, but it would leave you disappointed for the rest of your life. There are certain traits that people have, and you cannot wish or hope them to be different; they can only be accepted. If her behavior makes you angry or tense, then it is your fault, not her's9her nature). See her as she is, not as you wish her to be. Be brave enough to face this Principle of Truth. Weigh your options can you overlook that part if not,I advise you walk away [/size] |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by solomto(f): 10:24am On Sep 30, 2012 |
I agree wt u on d area u said that ur previous relationships wt girls that talks and gist wt u were more favourable to u. Quiet girls for non quite guys and vice versa. So, I wl suggest u take her out more frequently so that u guys could hv a discusion or things to chat about wen u comes back,gradually things wl be changing. Goodluck |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Nobody: 10:24am On Sep 30, 2012 |
Boring man marries a boring woman..... It means a boring marriage! Do you guys have friends who are married too? Maybe you should try associating with them. Or maybe you should invite a relation to live with you to break the boredom and the person should be lively. 1 Like |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by ReLaTE(m): 10:34am On Sep 30, 2012 |
berem: Boring man marries a boring woman..... It means a boring marriage! Do you guys have friends who are married too? Maybe you should try associating with them. Or maybe you should invite a relation to live with you to break the boredom and the person should be lively.i like ur suggestion bt a very young child may nt solve it and that is d only available options.Grown up ones cn only visit and go bak to their base since they are independents. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by ReLaTE(m): 10:42am On Sep 30, 2012 |
k2039: [size=13pt]so u mean I cnt change her? Living wt these is difficult bt I dnt hv anyother fault wt her thus making me to marry her bt I need to get off this boredom. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by k2039: 10:45am On Sep 30, 2012 |
ReLaTE: so u mean I cnt change her? Living wt these is difficult bt I dnt hv anyother fault wt her thus making me to marry her bt I need to get off this boredom. [size=13pt] You can but the chances are very lowIits her nature,(that is the way she is wired) I will say assume the worst,if she changes good but if you assume she will change and if she doesnt that will be disastrous [/size] |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Nobody: 10:54am On Sep 30, 2012 |
ReLaTE: i like ur suggestion bt a very young child may nt solve it and that is d only available options.Grown up ones cn only visit and go bak to their base since they are independents.I think it your duty to spice up the affair from your experience with your previous relationship. I don't know how long the boredom is gonna last because I fear it might harm your marriage.I won't say you should wait till you start having kids cos its gonna take another longer time.everything now depends on you.or better still visit a professional marriage counsellor to give both of you advice. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by ReLaTE(m): 12:25pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
@k2039,berem,solomto tnk u all for ur suggestion,i wl work on it. Expecting more replies. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Ivynwa(f): 6:08pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
Excite her up, introduce her to many great fun things, games, activities and subjects and she will get into some of them. She is only living in her little world of watching "African magic" and sleeping so don't you go blaming her. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Tiana155(f): 10:55am On Oct 01, 2012 |
@op, i always belive and i have seen married couples being opposite of each other, mine for example, i am quiet, easy going, i love quiet life just like your fiance, but my husband and daughter are everything opposite to me, At first i did't like it. But with time i tell you now i'm a talkative i dont even have time for those things i cherish anymore i cant say how it happened. So op what am trying to say here is that do you love her even with her nature? If you do, dont worry nature will take care and your marriage will spice up itself. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Kobojunkie: 4:18am On Oct 02, 2012 |
Ivynwa: Excite her up, introduce her to many great fun things, games, activities and subjects and she will get into some of them. She is only living in her little world of watching "African magic" and sleeping so don't you go blaming her. Like she is a cat that you can excite by dangling balls on a yarn and all, right?  Come on now . . she is a human being . . been quiet, probably all her life and has survived that way to this point. You want to CHANGE her by throwing what you consider excitement, not according to HER DEFINITIONS but YOUR DEFINITIONS? That will be like trying to raise the dead, while stirring a pot of hot lava. I don't know her exact state of mind, but I happen to be an introvert, who tried to force excitement into this one life I have for so many years and instead ended up being force to accept me for me. From where I sit, my life is exciting and sometimes it is so much more excitement than I can handle. But for those looking from the outside in, the picture seems quite different. However, I would not change anything of my self to PLEASE anyone as i have learnt that is a quick way to loosing one's mind. My point is, you cannot CHANGE/FORCE people into departing from their very nature. The only thing one can do, and it seems the OP will have to do is accept his fiance AS-IS. |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Nobody: 5:54am On Oct 02, 2012 |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by ReLaTE(m): 7:07am On Oct 02, 2012 |
Good advice from mature minds here,i like family section bcus of the way issues are treated and it really shows that majority of posters here are adults with experience in life. I am more than happy cos I hv learnt a lot from all the replies here,tnk u all |
| Re: How do I spice up our boredom lives. by Ivynwa(f): 4:41am On Oct 04, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: Sweetheart, in as much as some views you hold concerning this issue is true in some cases nothing changes the fact that the environment contributes in molding us humans. A person that is brought up in a rural area very far from civilization may not be interested in browsing the net and chilling in a forum like we are doing here but when such a person gets exposed to sophisticated technologies like the internet, he or she may develop interest in it like we all developed interest in it. Thanks! |
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