The Wife Says (TWS), The Wife Means (TWM)

1. TWS- We need
TWM- I want

2. TWS- It's your decision
TWM- It's the correct decision

3. TWS- Do what you want
TWM- You'll pay for this later

4. TWS- We need to talk
TWM- I need to complain

5. TWS- I'm not upset
TWM- Of course, i'm upset at you, slowpoke

6. TWS- you are..(pause).. So Manly
TWM- You need a shave&you sweat a lot

7. TWS- This kitchen is so inconvinient
TWM- I want a new house

8. TWS- I want new curtains
TWM- Also carpeting, furniture and wallpaper

9. TWS- I need wedding shoes
TWM- The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

10. TWS- Hang the picture there
TWM- No, i mean hang it right there!

11. TWS- I heard a noise
TWM- I noticed you were almost asleep

12. TWS- Do you Love me?
TWM- I'm going to ask for something expensive

13. TWS- How much do you Love me?
TWM- I did something today you are not going to like

14. TWS- I'll be ready in a minute
TWM- Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap

15. TWS- Am i fat?
TWM- Tell me, i'm beautiful

16. TWS- You have to learn to communicate
TWM- Just agree with me

17. TWS- Are you listening to me?
TWM- (Too late, you are doomed)

18. TWS- I'm sorry
TWM- You'll be sorry

19. TWS- Do you like this recipe?
TWM- You better get used to it

20.TWS- Was that the baby?
TWM- Get out of bed and attend to the baby

21. TWS- I'm not yelling
TWM- Yes i am, i think this is important