Father (Angry): “Where The Hell Have You Been All These Years?”
Girl: “I Was Working As A Pros.titute In The Vietnam”
Father: “What? Get Out Of My House You LovePeddler, I Don’t Want To See Your Face Again”
Girl (Crying): “Before I Go Dad, I Came To Give You A $5 Million Cheque, And Here Is A $1million For My Brother. I Built A Big House For You In The Northern Surburbs With Everything In It Including A Ferarri And A Bugatti. Bye Dad”
Father (Smiling): “What Kind of Work did You Say You Were Doing”
Girl (Crying Out Loud):“A Pro.stitute Dad”
Father: “Come And Give Daddy A Big Hug, I Thought You Said You Where A ”Prosecute








Dame Patience went out for drink with some of the top women….
Waiter brings their bill:
Dame Patience N10,400
Ngozi Okonjo. N10,250
Dora Akunyili. N10,450
Turai Yar’adua. N10,200
Total. N41,300

She says: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay
for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns
petrol stations all over Nigeria!









Lekan was in the house watching blue film yesterday day night when his pastor friend came visiting.
Immediately he entered, he shouted; "brother lekan why are.. You doing this to your selfl? Why are you watching corrupt movies? Oh no! This is bad!" As he was shouting he increased the volume of the film why the girl in the movie started shouting
"OoJesus! Take it easy!" The man in the movie: "Ohhhh my God. Give it to me harder!
Immediately the pastor looked at Lekan and said: "Brother lekan, the only reason I will pardon you is because the people in the movie are born-again.
The way they call the name of Jesus makes me love them. Anyway let's watch it together...... PLEASE SHIFT FOR ME JOOOR










Wife to her husband: Wake up. Some thieves have broken into our house.
I think they are now eating the food I made last night.

Husband: Oh! Let's better call the ambulance then.











Wife hit her husband with frying pan.

Husband: What was that for…?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week

and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.







Two guys raped a princess.
When they were caught and taken to the king for punishment. The king ordered them to go and get as many fruits as they can to bail themselves.

The first one went and returned with 15 Mangoes, the king ordered the guards to insert the Mango into his ass so that he will feel the same pain as the raped Princess. The guy screamed and shouted throughout the insertion.

Suddenly, he began to laugh out loud, the guard asked him why he was laughing in pain.

He pointed ahead and said .
.
.
.
"Look at my friend (Akpos), he is bringing WATER MELON."

A guy on a date in a brand new Range Rover Evoque,

riding with his naija babe.
Guy: I ve bin hidin a secret from u and I tink u will break dis relationship if I tell u.

Girl: wat is it my love.

Guy: Am SS(sickler) and HIV positive.

Girl: hitting d guy on d lap,u almost scared me! Tot u wanted to say dis big car u re riding isn't urs, let's go joor, ordinary SS and HIV? Dat one no fit stop my love for u o !

:filelist: A pro.stitute asked a doctor to make another hole near her A$$
The doctor was surprised and asked her why? She answered “ business is moving well,i won open another branch.....

Mod pls ban this guy , him want kill person with laugh

Great bro, just awesome

ndukwejoe: Mod pls ban this guy , him want kill person with laugh

hahahahahahahahaha, fanx 4 d Laff

larride: Great bro, just awesome

I had no idea I posted dis ish Twice, fanx again