Did you see the Subject Heading ? The headline is “You Got Your Sperm Where?”

I have been up and down the world of fertility for over two decades – and they got me on this story which is all about the underground world of men donating their sperm directly to women and couples who need donor sperm without going through a commercial sperm bank.

You know – many men give away their sperm all the time in sometimes very unconscious ways. How many men are out there having unprotected intercourse with random women (or not so random) and make babies “for free”?

I would guess that this has been going on since the beginning of time. And yet – this was different. Now we are talking Craig’s List and a host of organized groups where men who want to give their sperm to women in need are offering their services. It kind of reminded me of some kind of weird “Home Depot” of baby making. Do you want to skip all those expensive sperm banks? Tests? And yes – possibly even the doctor? You can.

But do you want to?

Look, I know of people that have been doing this for years with “known donors” – especially lesbian couples or single women who ask male friends to donate sperm to them. But this is different. Here we are talking about strangers helping strangers. And lots of different rules.

What do you think? Do you think it is somehow “icky”? Morally wrong? Dangerous?

Is it just smarter to have your sperm pre-screened and tested (although many of these donors seemed to come with papers!)? I have to be honest – I am not sure what I think. The only thing I am totally clear about is the need for donor agreements in these cases.

The legality of the relationship of the donor to the child and the family could be very, very, troublesome down the road without a donor agreement in place. I am also amazed how many people are out there – finding their way through these baby making arrangements all alone without any support, doing crazy stuff like finding sperm donors on Craig’s List!

Come on people…..just get some professional advice! I am not saying that you can’t make a baby in the privacy of your own home….but once you invite a “donorsexual” into your life – that is a pretty permanent decision. One day you will have to explain to your very precious child his or her conception story. And if I heard that my mom found my “bio dad” on some list serve and then did a insemination in a Starbucks – I think that would put me in therapy for years and years.

What about you?




mikeijeh@ymail.com

What exactly is ur point dude?

@Uboma , Infertile couples that want one on one contact with sperm donor should ensure that parties involved signed donor agreements

There is no such thing as a man donating his fluid for free.

It's the same thing as having random s/e/x with a stranger. A "one-night" stand or whatever people choose to call it.

I think in cases like this, it is better done through a third party even though they add some costs.

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/03/first-things-ladies-notice-about-men.html

Poster, are you based in Nigeria? Cos i dont think a full blooded naija man will dash their fluid out willing out of the goodness of his heart. I read somewhere here that Ghanaian men are selling theirs for $5K (us dollars o!). So cut long story short and tell us what exactly is in this for you.

Are you saying all Nigerians are same?so no more good ones?It will interest you to know that many Nigerians are out there helping people on charity ground.

Contact me if you need my sperm 08028475548. I am 6 feet 5" tall.

This is why 3rd party is the best way

Actually, I'm quite open minded about these things so long as the parties involved are happy with their decisions.

If I were to ever use a donor or surrogate, I would prefer that they are total strangers whose medical and other background are verified. Also, the agreement would have to be foul proof. By the way, I will be happy to tell my kid from as early as he/she could understand how the story was with economical details.

All should be well biko. Life is too short to be too strict with flights...take that step as soon as you're ready for it. Adoption is also a good deal.