Mike is Dead
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Whoah, what the happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him -- he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned him all up."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, "

"Hold on now, just how the heck did Mike die?"

"I shot him."

"You shot him? What the heck did you shoot him for?"

"The man was destroying my house!"

Wicked Comebacks
- It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created you beat out 1,000,000 others.

- The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

- If you were any more stupid, you'd have to be watered twice a week.

- The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- When your IQ reaches 50, you should sell.

- You may have a "full six-pack" but lack the plastic thing to hold it all together.

- Your set low personal standards and then consistently fail to achieve them.

- You're depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- Were I king I would not allow you to breed.

- You seem to have reached rock bottom and started to dig.

good one too

lmao

Hahhahahahahahhaha
Funny

I love this one. "You seem to have reached rock bottom and started to dig." A perfect example of HCl.

lol

@rebellious
the thought of me is seriously giving u nightmares,u've even got inspiration from someone else's write up. just beware so as not to fall in love with me cos if u do,, u're screwed big time

Very good one aisha but i am not dead, i am still alive !
keep them rolling
cheers

@ass seed
bud'of'c0s, who wunt av nightmares just imagining wat u luk like "ASS SEED"

hmmm

@migs
upload a photo of urs and let eveyone see what u look like. does ur ass produce seed? kai! have mercy

nice one aisha keep it comin

hcl_acid:

@migs
upload a photo of urs and let eveyone see what u look like. does your ass produce seed? kai! have mercy

covers thread from miggy only to find out that his wife has seen it.

Clemcy, abeg no tell ur oga

someone stepped on the goat's horn

. . . . and the goat must definitely retaliate with a voracious attitude

you got that right

well, we are expecting the goat to respond. . . . .

that one funny joke keep it up

who is the goat?

ask again

I do love to see what Mike Looked like b4 he died. the pics I mean.

your request will be granted

@emperoh

If i were u, u wouldnt want to see that last look on his face

too late
request already granted

that goat was recently sacrificed to the kuvuki spirits but unfortunately it made them more angry.

E be like say the goat na "aba" goat

my God!

hmmm

*clears throat*
na ass seed blood type d goat get why d idol nor go provoke?

it is confirmed