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The Most Venomous Snake In The World - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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The Most Venomous Snake In The World by CuteAngel(f): 2:57pm On Jan 26, 2008
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION:
One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black.

Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-species.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.




WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:

1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.

2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.

3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting.

4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.

5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
Re: The Most Venomous Snake In The World by hclacid(m): 3:05pm On Jan 26, 2008
very funny lol grin grin grin
Re: The Most Venomous Snake In The World by ThugLife1(m): 3:32pm On Jan 26, 2008
lol
Re: The Most Venomous Snake In The World by holythug(m): 4:30pm On Jan 30, 2008
hahahha grin very funny
i tink u studied anatomy ?
Re: The Most Venomous Snake In The World by bukolalola(f): 5:13pm On Jan 30, 2008
You really did a research there. Did you study vet medicine or you are another tarzan? Weldone.

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