Suicide. Self murder. Ending one's life.How has it affected you? how did you deal with it?
A few days ago I lost a friend of mine that I was quite close to. He was the one person I would have never expected to take his own life yet he did. To him this world was just too much and he couldn't take it anymore. depression coupled with being bipolar drove him to do what he did. At times i am angry with him for not reaching out, but most ties I cry and think of how short life is and how any things I wanted to say to him and wished I could have been more than just an ordinary friend to him.

At the same time he never realised how much of an impact he had on people's lives....I myself in the past have contemplated suicide when i felt life was rough. I remember being really depressed and telling my parents and all they said was that I should focus on my schoolwork. I wanted to end it all. But then my faith and the thought of all those who would miss me and be devasted and who would blame themselves for my death prevented me. I'm glad I am still alive today to share this.
How have you handled the suicide of a friend or loved one?
have you contemplated suicide yourself?

If so, do share reasons why (if you feel comfortable)
Let those who love you most know how you are feeling, get help. talk to someone. suicide is not the best alternative. there is always a way, something to live for no matter how little. Life is a gift. dont make it premature or waste the time you have left cherish it. Help prevent someone else's loss. it helps to know someone cares.

The best thing you can do for friends with this kind of problem is to assist them with getting professional help and taking their meds on time every day. There is no substitute for helping them to get the very best medical care available. Without treatment, all the love in the world will not help.

alosiby92: Suicide. Self murder. Ending one's life.How has it affected you? how did you deal with it?
A few days ago I lost a friend of mine that I was quite close to. He was the one person I would have never expected to take his own life yet he did. To him this world was just too much and he couldn't take it anymore. depression coupled with being bipolar drove him to do what he did. At times i am angry with him for not reaching out, but most ties I cry and think of how short life is and how any things I wanted to say to him and wished I could have been more than just an ordinary friend to him.

At the same time he never realised how much of an impact he had on people's lives....I myself in the past have contemplated suicide when i felt life was rough. I remember being really depressed and telling my parents and all they said was that I should focus on my schoolwork. I wanted to end it all. But then my faith and the thought of all those who would miss me and be devasted and who would blame themselves for my death prevented me. I'm glad I am still alive today to share this.
How have you handled the suicide of a friend or loved one?
have you contemplated suicide yourself?

If so, do share reasons why (if you feel comfortable)
Let those who love you most know how you are feeling, get help. talk to someone. suicide is not the best alternative. there is always a way, something to live for no matter how little. Life is a gift. dont make it premature or waste the time you have left cherish it. Help prevent someone else's loss. it helps to know someone cares.

if you have a friend with dis problem i recommend you send d person to nigeria. After a day or 2 stay he/she will change his/her mind. Gbam!

free2ryhme: if you have a friend with dis problem i recommend you send d person to nigeria. After a day or 2 stay he/she will change his/her mind. Gbam!

_
Really? Wow, I guess being in Nigeria really helped me. SMH.

Seun: The best thing you can do for friends with this kind of problem is to assist them with getting professional help and taking their meds on time every day. There is no substitute for helping them to get the very best medical care available.

But still, will medication wipe away fears of being lonely? or knowing that noone gives two shalangas about you?

free2ryhme: if you have a friend with dis problem i recommend you send d person to nigeria. After a day or 2 stay he/she will change his/her mind. Gbam!

So after five potholes, astounding heat, 50% pure water and hours of traffic, someone will change their mind about killing themselves...heck, the lagos mainland bridge would be more than enough motivation for me to jump off if I was suicidal...

alosiby92: But still, will medication wipe away fears of being lonely? knowing that noone gives two shalangas about you?

All people experience fears of being lonely. This is what motivates people to seek friends, marital partners, etc. However, if those fears are exaggerated to the point where you find yourself obsessed by and almost paralysed by the fear of loneliness when you are surrounded by friends and family members, then yes, medication can help to reduce such fear to normal healthy levels where they are a positive and motivating factor in your life and not a constant source of darkness and overwhelming despair.

So after five potholes, astounding heat, 50% pure water and hours of traffic, someone will change their mind about killing themselves...heck, the lagos mainland bridge would be more than enough motivation for me to jump off if I was suicidal...

If you are mentally healthy, such things will cause not cause you to jump off a bridge. No normal person wants to die. You may be motivated to avoid the source of stress by maybe moving out of Lagos or installing an air-conditioner in your car or moving close to your office or abusing Fashola regularly. Suicide only becomes a possibility when unhealthy feelings become overwhelming to the point where you feel life is not worth it anymore and that tomorrow cannot possibly be better. And this can happen to someone whose life is actually privileged and great in reality.

Seun:
All people experience fears of being lonely. This is what motivates people to seek friends, marital partners, etc. However, if those fears are exaggerated to the point where you find yourself obsessed by and almost paralysed by the fear of loneliness when you are surrounded by friends and family members, then yes, medication can help to reduce such fear to normal healthy levels where they are a positive and motivating factor in your life and not a constant source of darkness and overwhelming despair.

Medication also poses the threat of possible addiction and creates a situation whereby the person becomes too reliant on the meds and cannot function normally without them...That's what happened to my friend..He was on meds (because he was bipolar) but on a really bad day, they did not work well enough and he ended his life....I agree with you that they help....but to some extent.

If you are mentally healthy, such things will cause not cause you to jump off a bridge. No normal person wants to die.

No one is normal.....We live in a strange world. The person you think is normal today could be hanging off a tree tomorrow...people are good at putting on facades..

And this can happen to someone whose life is actually privileged and great in reality.

True...when looking at people who commit suicide, I would say it seems more prevalent in more privileged lifestyles, or rather we think the people had all they could ever wish for and wonder why would they do such....

@alos, I agree with you on the meds. I'm not a fan of medication for the mentally challenged or those suffering depression. This is because the drugs only provide temporary relief thus the need for long term medication. This will eventually lead to addiction, tolerance and side effects. The side effects from antipsychotics or antidepressants (such as tardive dyskinesia) are really bad and are mostly irreversible.

I'm not saying that medications are bad, rather I'm of the opinion that medications shld be given on a short term basis while other options such as psychotherapy are explored.

alosiby92: Medication also poses the threat of possible addiction and creates a situation whereby the person becomes too reliant on the meds and cannot function normally without them...

Do you also worry about the threat of possible addiction to anti-retroviral drugs by HIV/AIDS patients who have to use them every day? Do you think HIV patients should try to manage their disease without anti-retroviral drugs because they "create a situation where the HIV infected person becomes too reliant on the drugs and cannot live long without them?" Because a mentally ill person is by definition not functioning properly. So if the meds can allow such a person to live a better life, why in the God's name would the fear of "dependence" be a reason not to take the medicines? It makes no sense to me at all, but a lot of people keep saying it. Would you advice someone who can't read without glasses to not use glasses in order not to get dependent on them? Would you advice a hungry person not to eat in order not to become "dependent" on food?

That's what happened to my friend..He was on meds (because he was bipolar) but on a really bad day, they did not work well enough and he ended his life....I agree with you that they help....but to some extent.

Do you really think he would have been better off if he got no help at all? Perhaps he wasn't taking the right drugs, or maybe he wasn't taking them as he was meant to take them. Many people don't take their meds. You can't say that because someone who had malaria died despite some inadequate treatment that you will not take anti-malarial drugs when you have malaria.

True...when looking at people who commit suicide, I would say it seems more prevalent in more privileged lifestyles, or rather we think the people had all they could ever wish for and wonder why would they do such....

Why do privileged people kill themselves? Because they have diseases that make them feel hopeless and helpless and those diseases were not treated successfully or - more likely - not treated at all. Because people choose to see those diseases as "personality quirks" that thy can just "snap out of" if they put their minds to it (not true).

Errrmm, information: not all HIV patients are on medication. Infact, it is adviced not to place the patient on medication until his/her CD4 count is within the range of 250 to 400 and/or the patient has the stage 3/4 signs and symptoms. This is because the HIV meds when taken chronically can result to side effects. Thus the doctor tries to boost d immunity of the patient without resort to HIV meds. I've seen HIV patients who have lived with the virus for over 10 yrs but haven't commenced medication. However in a case where d CD4 count is low or when Stage 3 sets in, we have no choice to start d meds.

Alos is not saying a mentally challenged person should not be treated, rather she's saying meds should not be the first option on the table. To me, I think meds should either be used as a temporary measure b4 the physician can fashion another therapy that is more long term friendly or it (meds) should be used as a long term measure if other methods have failed clinically and there are no other option.

Strangely anti-retroviral medication and anti-depressants are similar in a way, you don't have to resort to them if you manage your condition properly. While I endorse the ARV, I against those antidepressants. They literally numb you and turn your mind into mush. Continuous usage will lead to dependence on it and of course, it could be very addictive. I think the patient should try out good ol therapy before having to resort that xanax and the likes.

It is now best practice to adopt a holistic approach to mental ill-health.
Mental health issues exist across a wide spectrum; is it right to say that a person relying on medication is not a healthy person? With medication, a paranoid schizophrenic can live a relatively normal life on and off medication. We cannot allow ourselves to believe that pills are so evil.

For your friend, who was bipolar, we must blame the entire system for failing to save him. I went on a "mental health first aid" course recently, because the suicide/Mental Health rates are so awful across the world and I work for public health. At first I thought it was a little too hippy lol, but I was shocked and saddened to learn the truths. And the problems are only getting worse given unemployment rates, stretched resources, stressed out physicians, etc. I think we assume too freely that doctors want to quickly put people on pills, but the truth is they have little alternatives at hand and almost no time for adequate follow-up. And I know for a fact that resource/outreach centres created to save people like your friend do not openly advertise because they FEAR the wave of unmet need vs their inadequate budgets. This is the world we live in? Depressing

switdick: Suicidal feelings is bourne outta Foolishness when not addressed on time amounts to Self hate and Frustration of the world and people around this said voluntary victim......

Cowardice to say the least"

They need to be locked up far behind the bars of an Unknown cave facility where only Mentally unstable peeps like them selves breed"

UnderGround".....

Don't like to read such cases of people in that regard...."Stupid Much"

Why Should you kill your self?? A'mean, what could you be passing through that ain't Old news ?......

That's what I think about suicide....

The person, to me is already dead and gone way past or beyond redemption to be helped,because if you can think it,do it,and actually Stay dead ? You aren't different from the next person in prison with the reason for Slugging a baby's head off just because you don't like babies~~thus,

"a Paroxysm of rage."

_
OMG! NERDgasm! You sir, are a great philosopher! Wow! Can I get your autograph? Better still, whisk me away to an unknown island and wow me with your philosophical prowess!!!

Ok, so maybe the pills are not evil and do some good to some people...the problem comes when the person decides to go off them for a while or doesn't take them seriously in the first place or becomes too dependent on them....
I also agree with dominique, prevention is better than cure...but bear in mind, as Seun said earlier~Normal, healthy people don't want to commit suicide.

I agree with flytefalls, mental health and suicide are generally not taken seriously enough in society....I also agree that doctors dont have much alternatives..The question is: how do you even deal with a suicidal person? Do you tell them to stop? Beat them and say "don't do it again"? Ask them if it is your fault? or tell them not to worry and seek help....but will the 'help' actually help them?
Its really is depressing to think such resource centres don't advertise themselves and are limited by low budgets..in my opinion, there is a serious need for them in society in general..

But on a more serious note....Seun, are you seriously comparing suicide to HIV?? That is a different matter entirely...although people have the choice wether or not to use ARVs, eventually to assist them with a healthy lifestyle after their CD4 count has dropped they WILL HAVE to end up taking them. How many Nigerians are suicidal? Even on Nairaland, how many would you know? most of them probably wouldn't even think of taking meds or seeing a doctor first before kicking the bucket and then its too late.....

I agree meds help, but how when signs of depression are not visible, how do you even prescribe them to the person in need? people dont walk around with signs on their foreheads written "I am depressed. I want to kill myself"...They fake it so that no one knows.

@swtdick: I know....its easy to say they are cowards until it happens to someone you know

Where is simonandal? U are in d best position to answer Dis question.

Nonesense,just run into moving train thats all you dont need to make people know ur intention mr devil will be glad to received you at the other end ok,is a choce dnt disturb people here with thiz insane issue.

Toktee: Nonesense,just run into moving train thats all you dont need to make people know ur intention mr devil will be glad to received you at the other end ok,is a choce dnt disturb people here with thiz insane issue.

*I'm speechless....if suicide is an insane issue, why bother even commenting?
Your wisdom astounds me.

timpaker: I lost a close friend to suicide few years back after our final year exam, he was an intelligent dude (one of the best in his department), he took his own life with his tie in his room without telling me the problem.
All he did was borrow a text book from me (which i still need if i can access his books or stuff)and complain about a guy owing him money and i promised to help him get it with my influence, the next day i heard he took his own life. Just like that!

In his own case, I didn't see him as a depressed fellow and I still wonder what drove him to suicide.
Of course, like everyone else who knew him, we suspected a foul play but things just didn't add up well to prove our points.

Wow...
My friend was an awesome guy, always smiling and giving hugs and saying I brightened up his day and stuff like that...he was in his final year and about to graduate...he was an A student doing well at school and popular with lots of friend and even a girlfriend....
He hung himself with his internet port cable in his wardrobe and left his username and password on his laptop, after which they found his suicide note on his desktop....
The strangest thing was, no one saw it coming...I cried for days after that...

@Op It is not in my(our) Nigerian nature to contemplate suicide.The thought may have blindsided me on those early formative years after getting a beat down from my mum. The Nigerian society frowns at suicide and it is not a common place thought. A friend died whose death could be attributed to his own doing but not be pointed directly as suicide as it was a case of drug abuse and addiction.

The only story I know of a Nigerian who took his life was a dude who used to cut my hair, he always gave me a fresh line up.He took his life because he wanted to start up his private saloon and his siblings were reluctant to support him, so he drank a shaving powder solution. People who witnessed his last moments said he was trying hard to grasp anything within reach when the mixture started taking its toll on him. I believe the feeling he had in his last moments was worse than the life he was trying to run away from.

Suicide to me is an easy way out and show mental weakness of the person who goes suicidal. Life isn't a bed of roses, we all won't have it rosy and no one is promised anything. As a black man who has never seen a psychiatrist/shrink/counselor in his life, I don't know about the effectiveness of such therapy and if it would be beneficial to someone who had his formative and teen years in Nigeria.

I try not to go religious when addressing something as this as I'm presently questioning "why I believe?".If the person in question has a belief system and is a religious devotee. I think try to get closer to his "God" may just give him/her the will to go on. Either way a will to live is inherent in all humans. We all strive towards self-preservation, it usually isn't a conscious effort.

alosiby92: Suicide. Self murder. Ending one's life.How has it affected you? how did you deal with it?
A few days ago I lost a friend of mine that I was quite close to. He was the one person I would have never expected to take his own life yet he did. To him this world was just too much and he couldn't take it anymore. depression coupled with being bipolar drove him to do what he did. At times i am angry with him for not reaching out, but most ties I cry and think of how short life is and how any things I wanted to say to him and wished I could have been more than just an ordinary friend to him.

At the same time he never realised how much of an impact he had on people's lives....I myself in the past have contemplated suicide when i felt life was rough. I remember being really depressed and telling my parents and all they said was that I should focus on my schoolwork. I wanted to end it all. But then my faith and the thought of all those who would miss me and be devasted and who would blame themselves for my death prevented me. I'm glad I am still alive today to share this.

How have you handled the suicide of a friend or loved one?
have you contemplated suicide yourself?

If so, do share reasons why (if you feel comfortable)
Let those who love you most know how you are feeling, get help. talk to someone. suicide is not the best alternative. there is always a way, something to live for no matter how little. Life is a gift. dont make it premature or waste the time you have left cherish it. Help prevent someone else's loss. it helps to know someone cares.

[ The story of a friend, flatmate and collegue who committed suicide
Family react to the sad death of FUTA 400 level student *Suicide note's content strange - uncle
Oluwatoyin Malik , Tribune Newspaper, . Date & Time Filed on MyOndoState.Com: 2011-08-27 22:37:13

When the news of suicide committed by an undergraduate,Kehinde Akintunde, broke on Sunday last week, many people who heard it found it shocking, not because suicide was a strange occurrence but the circumstances which surrounded Kehinde’s act, as well as the note he left behind, were incomprehensible, especially to his family members who never believed such could happen in their family, not to talk of their smiling, easy-going, brilliant child taking such a non-reversible step. It was suicide extraordinaire.

Kehinde, a 400 level student of Civil Engineering at the Federal University of Technology, Akure was in Lagos State where he was undergoing industrial training, which was part of his course requirements. With a twin brother who was also doing his youth service, Kehinde found it convenient staying in their sister’s house in Lagos. He had left the house in the morning of Friday, August 19, 2011 as usual, bidding farewell as he stepped out, giving everyone the impression that he was going to the place where he was doing his industrial training.

Not too long afterwards, he received a call from his twin brother who wanted to know where he was. “I am about boarding a bus to Yaba”, Kehinde was reported to have replied. Unknown however to any soul, except himself, Kehinde had other plans that would forever put a demarcation between him and his loved ones forever.

He boarded a vehicle to Ibadan and went to Apata area where he walked into an hotel around 12noon and checked in. He was with a back pack and held a bottle of water. He made enquiries about the cost of the rooms and paid for one. As he spoke with the receptionist who booked him in, he was full of smiles and did not betray any emotion or reveal what his intention would soon be. After he had been handed the key to Room 13, he climbed the stairs and made for the room.

Around 11.30a.m. on Saturday, August 20, the receptionist who was on duty noticed that the key to Room 13 was not among other keys and when the receptionist on duty the previous day resumed duty later in the afternoon, she pointed her attention to this. The duo quickly reported to the hotel manager who told them to hold on as it was possible that the guest forgot to drop the key or still had the intention of spending one more night.
When the situation was still same a couple of hours later, the manager decided to inform the Director of the hotel, in whose possession the spare keys of the

hotel rooms were. The director reportedly ordered that the spare key should be used in opening the room but all their efforts yielded no result as none of the keys used in testing the door made it give way.

At about 6.30p.m. the owner of the hotel directed that a carpenter be brought in to break the door open so that another guest could be lodged in. However, as the carpenter went about his job, he was said to have noticed that the door was bolted from behind. A suspicion arose in him and he called the attention of the manager to this. Since they had no choice than to break the door open, the manager told him to continue.

Even if they were expecting something serious to have happened, the sight they beheld was beyond their comprehension. They found the body of their guest, Kehinde, hanging from the hook of a ceiling fan. Stifling the scream that wanted to escape from their throats, the hotel management quickly put a call across to the police at Apata Division. Detectives from the station were sent to the hotel and when they searched the room, they found some belongings of the deceased including a modem, a wallet containing N5, 245, three handsets, a bag, a school identification card, a voter card, some textbooks and a comprehensive suicide note which was written on seven pages of a small jotter.

Scrolling through his phone, the police were able to get Kehinde’s sister’s number and as a way of prompting their steps quickly without raising suspicion, she was told to come to Ibadan as her brother, Kehinde, had been arrested for robbery. Very sure that her brother could never be involved in such, she called her uncle who resides in Ibadan, intimating him of what she learnt. Also convinced that his nephew’s arrest could have been a case of mistaken identity, the uncle went to the police station at Apata that very night but was told to report back in the morning.

Next morning, Sunday August 21, the uncle and policemen went to the hotel and it was there that the news of Kehinde’s death was broken to him. The uncle, shocked with disbelief, went limp. It was as if he was dreaming. After regaining some composure, he was invited to come and see the body but the uncle shivered, saying he would not be able to stand seeing the dead body of a boy he was so close to right from childhood.

Shortly after, Kehinde’s parents who had left Lagos for Ibadan after being told the story of robbery, were brought to the hotel where the news was also broken to them. The mother who had all the while suspected that something terrible must have happened to her beloved son, with the way everyone went hush hush, let out an exclamation immediately the news was broken to her by some clergymen who were invited by the uncle. Crying, the woman who should be close to 60 years lamented how she had suffered over the deceased, asking God rhetorically, “My God, why did you allow this to happen to me?”

Of all that happened, what baffled the family members, police and journalists who were present was the content of the suicide note left behind by Kehinde, which gave no cogent reason for his action, except a portion of it which implied that he might have suffered depression. He had asked his brother who is medical doctor not to bother to research on the causes of depression while also saying in another portion of the note that for those who might think he was depressed, and should have been placed on medication, the medication would have only added to his problem.

In the suicide note, Kehinde addressed all his family members and gave each a parting message. He also expressed his philosophical views on some issues.
Finding the contents of the note unbelieveable, the uncle said Kehinde had no reason to do what he did. “This boy was a genius. He cleared his WASCE result at one sitting with nine distinctions. He gained admission thereafter and his CGP in school placed him on Second Class Upper. Even his doctor brother used to consult him on some areas in his field of medicine. I could recollect that about age 10, Kehinde’s father bought about six books and brought them home, telling the children to go and read and narrate the contents to him. Kehinde had immediately answered his dad that he had read all the books and went ahead to narrate the stories therein.

“At a young age too, whenever he played computer game with his sibling and they became stuck at a point, he would wake up in the night and continued where they stopped. He would eventually solve the problem and call my attention to it so that I could be his witness in the morning when he would relate his feat to others. He was always smiling and I was close to all of them, or so I thought. I can’t just comprehend what has happened”.

Kehinde’s mother while lamenting the loss of her son wondered aloud how she would cope with his loss. “Whenever I had problems that I could not solve with my patients, it was Kehinde that I would call to give me a clue. My God, why did you allow this to happen to me, with the way I serve you? From day one, I had been suffering over this child. As a baby, he had diarrhoea and was very weak. I had to fix an infusion set into his vein while I was also driving. Anyway, I will not deny you (God)but you must avenge the enemies who did this”, she wailed. Her husband who was also weeping profusely tried to console his wife saying “Please my wife, God will comfort us. This does not mean that God has forsaken us”.

While many were saying that the young man must have suffered depression without it being noticed by family and friends, others believed that those who would too much on the quiet side could be going through things that would be hidden from others while they are be seen as being ‘gentle’ or ‘easy-going’.

Speaking on the incident, the Police Public Relations Officer in Oyo State, ASP Femi Akinlawon told Sunday Tribune that the remains of the deceased had been deposited in the mortuary at State Hospital, Ring Road for autopsy after which it would be released to the family for burial. However , Sunday Tribune learnt that the deceased had been buried on Wednesday, August 24.

You can follow the news on: http://www.myondostate.com/myondostate/newssend.php?id=1328

The guy in question was ma flat mate. We lived together...His room was just opposite mine. He was very cool, very brillant was on a C.G.P.A of 4 point studying Civil Engineering. Our rooms were self contained, so we all stayed alone. He never acted depressed and always had a smile. He was always very helpful, assisting us with internet issues and all sorts. To me, he seemed perfect until...He was on IT (Part 4) while I was in part 5. Orikenny, as we fondly called you, I still miss you till date. Rest in peace! Your memories are cherished!

well i have to say I control mine pretty well especially knowing the way I get pretty depressed alot.. had suicide thoughts not once, twice etc made a topic once even asking for a therapist.. still don't know how I control mine just guessing it's GOD will..cos no one really wants to get depressed as me....

timpaker: I lost a close friend to suicide few years back after our final year exam, he was an intelligent dude (one of the best in his department), he took his own life with his tie in his room without telling me the problem.
All he did was borrow a text book from me (which i still need if i can access his books or stuff)and complain about a guy owing him money and i promised to help him get it with my influence, the next day i heard he took his own life. Just like that!

In his own case, I didn't see him as a depressed fellow and I still wonder what drove him to suicide.
Of course, like everyone else who knew him, we suspected a foul play but things just didn't add up well to prove our points.

I have also lost a friend and flat mate to suicide, you can read the details above. Mosttimes, people around them dont see it coming and I dont know why...So sorry about your friend!

Studies reveal that most people who take their life have a history of depression. This underscores the fact that medical attention may be necessary. A physician may prescribe medication or recommend dietary adjustments. In some cases, a program of exercise is an effective supplement to treatment. Professional medical care has proved beneficial to many.

Share your feelings with a mature, trusted friend. The Bible says: “A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress.” (Proverbs 17:17) The righteous man Job, described in the Bible, opened up to others during his period of turmoil. When he felt what he referred to as “a loathing toward my life,” he stated: “I will give vent to my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 10:1) Confiding in others can diminish the intensity of your emotions, and it may give you a fresh perspective on the problems you face.*

One thing many don't know is how suicidal thoughts actually drive one to become creative. A little more patience and these people would have recorded astonishing achievements!

AdexOmoby:
I have also lost a friend and flat mate to suicide, you can read the details above. Most times, people around them dont see it coming and I dont know why...So sorry about your friend!

Thank you.

@adexomoby: read your post....wow...even his own twin did not know? You see, people close to them NEVER see it coming..
@raynold...I've been just as depressed before...then I would think about suicide...it was not the planning of how i would do it per se but more of who would miss me when I was gone....
I thought about my parents and how sad they would be...how disappointed..how ungrateful it would make me as a child after all their hard work and efforts....I thought of how expensive funerals were and how wicked it would be of me to burden them with that expense~even after my death....
I thought of my sisters....the one closest to me...how sad she would be...how she would never be the same and maybe even never move on with life because of me...about how she would fail school and get deppressed and sad and maybe even mentally unstable~all because of me..
I thought of all the friends I had made and how they would think of me as outwardly I am a friendly, popular and outgoing person......
And then i thought of how quickly they would move on with life without me and then my death would have been a waste....
Selfish me decided to stick it out and get over myself because people will forget about you eventually but what also hit home was:
As a christian, FEAR OF GOD! How dare I end a life that was given as a gift?...it was not mine to end in the first place and I don't see myself heading to heaven after killing myself...I just dont...it is after all murder and in some sense giving up on GOD, like He is not worth living for or something....
That set me right..maybe it could help you?

Bipolar disorder – known in the past as manic depression – is a condition that affects your moods, which can swing from one extreme to another.
If you have bipolar disorder, you will have periods or "episodes" of:
depression – where you feel very low and lethargic
mania – where you feel very high and overactive (less severe mania is known as hypomania)
The symptoms of bipolar disorder depend on which mood you are experiencing. Unlike simple mood swings, each extreme episode of bipolar disorder can last for several weeks or longer, and some people may not experience a "normal" mood very often.
Depression

The depression phase of bipolar disorder is often diagnosed first. You may initially be diagnosed with clinical depression before having a manic episode later (sometimes years later), after which you may be diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
During an episode of depression, you may have overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, which can potentially lead to thoughts of suicide.
If you're feeling suicidal or having severe depressive symptoms, contact your GP, care co-ordinator or the local mental health emergency services as soon as possible.
If you can't or don’t want to contact these people, call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90. You can call them 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Mania

During a manic phase of bipolar disorder, you may feel very happy and have lots of ambitious plans and ideas. You may spend large amounts of money on things that you cannot afford and would not normally want. Not feeling like eating or sleeping, talking quickly and becoming annoyed easily are also common characteristics of the manic phase of bipolar disorder.
During the manic phase, you may feel very creative and view mania as a positive experience. However, during the manic phase of bipolar disorder, you may also have symptoms of psychosis (where you see or hear things that are not there or become convinced of things that are not true).
Living with bipolar disorder

The high and low phases of bipolar disorder are often so extreme that they interfere with everyday life. However, there are several options for treating bipolar disorder that can make a difference. They aim to control the effects of an episode and help someone with bipolar disorder to live life as normally as possible.
It is thought that using a combination of treatments is the best way to control bipolar disorder. Treatment can include:
medication to prevent episodes of mania, hypomania (less severe mania) and depression – these are known as mood stabilisers and are taken every day, on a long-term basis
medication to treat the main symptoms of depression and mania when they occur
learning to recognise the triggers and signs of an episode of depression or mania
psychological treatment such as talking therapy to help deal with depression and to give you advice about how to improve your relationships
lifestyle advice such as doing regular exercise, planning activities that you enjoy and that give you a sense of achievement, and advice on improving your diet and getting more sleep
Help and advice for people with a long-term condition or their carers is also available from charities, support groups and associations. This includes self-help and self-management advice and dealing with the practical aspects of a long-term condition. Find out more about living with bipolar disorder.
What causes bipolar disorder?

The exact causes of bipolar disorder are not known. However, it is thought that several things can trigger an episode. Extreme stress, overwhelming problems and life-changing events are often thought to contribute, as well as genetic and chemical factors.
Who is affected?

Bipolar disorder is relatively common. Around one person in 100 is diagnosed with the condition.
Bipolar disorder can occur at any age, although it often develops between the ages of 18 and 24 years. Men and women from all backgrounds are equally likely to develop bipolar disorder.
The pattern of mood swings in bipolar disorder varies widely between people. For example, some people will only have a couple of bipolar episodes in their lifetime and will be stable in between, while others may experience many episodes.

just tell urself no one or nothing is enough to make u want to end it... your not being loved today or being worthless should rather than make u want to end it, gear u towards making a differnce so possibly people would cluster to associate with u tomorrow and giving u a story to tell

Some people underestimate suicide. I think one of the most difficult things in this life is to make the decision to end your existence. Those who are suicidal are usually downbeat and frustrated and look unto killing themselves as the only option. As someone that has dealt with many suicidal thoughts, these are my suggestions:

1. Engage in things that make you happy. From video games to watching your favorite sport, pour more to your passions.
2. Get a personal life philosophy. Like me, it's "I'm too strong to give up"
3. Work towards a true strong relationship with someone. Those who are suicidal are usually friendless without anyone to talk to.
4. Be more religious. Faith in God can strenghten your mind and drive off any negativity.