Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? - Family - Nairaland
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| Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by emiemi(f): 3:40pm On Feb 09, 2008 |
I sometimes wonder why married people tend to have the feeling that they would have been happier if they were married to another man/woman? What do you really think? (This would be more honestly answered if you are presently married.) It's a case of "the grass is greener on the other side''  |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by emiemi(f): 3:44pm On Feb 09, 2008 |
I mean would you have a happier married life if it were another man/woman you were married to instead of your present husband/wife?  |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by adeboo(f): 6:05pm On Feb 09, 2008 |
No i dont think so. There is a show here called 'Wife Swap' where they usually have the mothers of the household go to another household - they swap their lives, families etc. The results are usually bad, nobody has wanted to remain in the families they go to. So maybe the saying 'better the devil u know than the angle u dont' comes to play. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by mohawkchic(f): 7:14pm On Feb 09, 2008 |
~Hmm I'd never know  ~Unless ofcourse i take a peek at the other side   ~I ave however wondered what would ave been different about my marriage had i married my Ex N its always on a silly note of humour as in "what would my kid/s look like" lol ~ave never however come close to thinking of all/any of the "What If" factors!!~If am aving serious thoughts on "Cud i ave been happier w/ someone else", then there are unresolved issues affecting my relationship that needs to be sorted ~ cud likely be lack of communication~ realising we're not that compatible afterall ~ Cannot Compromise~ If am faced w/ these three,then i'd most defo wonder If the grass is greener on the other side ~ ~I know i wudnt spend a lifetime wondering thu,i'd want to find out what Colour That Grass Is~You only live once!! ~I suppose its an Unhealthy Relationship that warrants thoughts of Wut Cud Ave Been OR Wut Lies Out There!!! |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by mohawkchic(f): 7:31pm On Feb 09, 2008 |
The results are usually bad, nobody has wanted to remain in the families they go to.[quote][/quote] ~I defo wudnt wanna stay w/ peeps i dont know,or try to live someone else's life for a week~coz rule change on second week !! ~What i find Interesting about wife swap is wen the swap takes place,the spouse/couple get to realise how much they ave taken each other for granted {In almost all the swaps ave seen}So i guess its not just another Reality Tv show,there has been success stories of the couples/family working on those issues affecting their relationship as seen by an "outsider" after the show~spending more time together~appreciating each other more etc!! ~So yeah i suppose its always safe to say "Better the devil U Knw" |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by emiemi(f): 4:57pm On Feb 12, 2008 |
hmmm |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by efuah(f): 5:12pm On Feb 12, 2008 |
I don't think so. . . i love who i am with right now, and wish to be with even if i die and come back again! Some folks simply want to eat their cake n have it. . . greediness n too much of lust, perhaps i think is the problem. Never judge a commodity by it cover/logo or package. It's better u sit down n solve ur problems, if u jump over them, u shall surely meet them again wherever you go. None is perfect, we're trying to make it work! For me, am content with whatever i have now, and am grateful to God for them too!  like adeboo said. . . the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know! |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by NaJaHaJe(f): 7:09pm On Feb 12, 2008 |
efuah: I second that. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by emiemi(f): 2:32pm On Feb 28, 2008 |
so it is a matter of contentment and gratefulness. Virtues that are scarce these days. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by banni: 3:10pm On Feb 28, 2008 |
There is usually a reason you married one over the other. Its common for humans to think of the what if .But thats about that. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by almondjoy(f): 3:34pm On Feb 28, 2008 |
I never comot the wan wey I dey inside, na to wish for another one? Man na man, woman na woman. You will still face the same problems if not worse!  This is it!!!!! I can never, NEVER, attempt another marriage.  After this no work--na shag companions only. Walk down the aisle? No be me!!!! When I am looking for how to escape the one when I jump enter inside? You must be joking. Say What? This one is okay abeg. No more!!!! Chai!!! To get to where a dey now? ALL THAT HARD WORK?. . . . . . . you can't pay me with eternal life to embark on that journey again? I do not see marriage as a journey to be taken more than once in a life time, especially if you worked hard at it. I don't wish to be in another marriage ooooooooooooh! I know the grass may look green from outside. When you enter inside, you will definitely find out that the green you saw was really yellow! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Impossible!!!! I say Impossible!!!! Lai, Lai! If not for kids- I will never try it! |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by joice: 4:47pm On Feb 28, 2008 |
almondjoy:Almonjoy, u sound very bitter about the issue of marriage. Hope all is well o? It a human tendency that we look over the other person's garden and long for it instead of appreciating what we've got. God help us.  |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by Nobody: 4:52pm On Feb 28, 2008 |
For me no way. Like Efuah,I'm happy and contented with my man. If I had to do it all over again,it'll still be him. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by almondjoy(f): 6:14am On Feb 29, 2008 |
joice: I am not bitter at all. Read the topic again--it says would you think of. . . . .with another person? I was just saying I do not have the time and energy to re-invest my life with another man after this marriage. In other words I am still working at what I have not to talk of wishing[b] marriage with another person.[/b]IT IS HARD WORK! After this, I say Impossible. I would gladly cherish being in ma bed by maself for the rest of ma life. I can never look into another person's garden so that is out of the question. For people like me--once is enough ma dear. Don't plan to do it 2ice in ma life time, sorry! This is as good as it gets. The only reason, is that looking around me, no one qualifies. I am happy I got married in ma early 20s--if I had waited till most--I will never have gotten married, knowing what I know now. It is just not a big deal to me anymore.Companions only. But God knew best. I just have a carefree spirit now that's all and I know what I want for myself. Not bitter at all ma dear! I love marriage as it is now because it took hard work and the grace of God, but would never do it again with another man! That is the difference. If I had to come back into this world this is the only marriage I would still have. If I waited till now, I would never have gotten married. Timing was everything. From what I see around me, I am not encouraged at all. Things have changed and I am not surprised most people are still single. NO WAY!!!! |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by joice: 1:43pm On Feb 29, 2008 |
Imagine how guys change! The Love Word: After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you! After 6 months: Of course, I love you. After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you? Back from Work: After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home! After 6 months: I'm BACK!! After 6 years: Have you cooked yet? Phone Ringing: After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone. After 6 months: Here, it's for you. After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!! Cooking: After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good! After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight? After 6 years: EBA AGAIN?? New Dress: After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress. After 6 months: You bought a new dress again? After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me? TV: After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight? After 6 months: I like this movie. After 6 years: I'm going to watch CHELSEA play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself! Making LOVE: After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight? After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!! After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!! 1 Like |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by joice: 1:45pm On Feb 29, 2008 |
The fact that u see the person everyday makes u take the person for granted and there isn't loving words being said anymore because you imagine the person is old enough not to require it. You don't hold hands anymore, kissing is for high school boyfriend/girlfriend which makes the love/spark grow dim. Then you start eyeing that young girl/guy around the neighbourhood or in the office. For a woman, it may be that your husband no longer compliment you look, hairdo shape but someone in the office is doing it. Then you'll start nursing some silly thoughts and be imagining a life with the person. But what many fail to understand is that as soon as you divorce the first spouse and marry another, the whole sequence of events start to play itself out again. So, it's never going to be perfect but there has to be conscious efforts from both parties to keep the spark glowing. Tips 1. Say I love you to your spouse everyday (not once in a yr or when you want to settle a quarrel) 2. Compliment each other's looks, hairdo, etc. Pls don't wait till a third party does it before you do it. 3. Appreciate each other publicly (say things like 'I really thank God for giving me such a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful wife'' to a friend) 4. Stick to each other through thick and thin. 5. Kiss often 6. Pray together 7. Don't be too busy for your spouse 8. Do silly stuffs together 9. Let your kids know how much you mean to each other (before and after they came on the scene) 10.Never slight your spouse in the presence of a third party. 11.Don't engage in extramarital affairs (it breeds distrust and disrespect). 12.Fall in love again with your spouse (love is a choice, your mind and emotions are involved) 13.Dance together and have fun together 14.Plan a holiday to an exciting place together 15.Be open to each other (no secrets whatsoever) |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by Scarlett(f): 3:33pm On Feb 29, 2008 |
Well well well The grass Always seems greener on the other side You only have to get to the other side and realise its actually algae and slimy stuff you don't want to get into. This is what puts marriages into trouble, wondering and pondering why not face the person you are with and make the best out of it I know its the nature of man to be selfish but i also know nature has taught us what happens to a selfish man. So please, the grass where you are can be greener than any you can imagine By Tender loving care it will get there, just water n nurture it, you will be fine. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by ifyalways(f): 4:06pm On Feb 29, 2008 |
Scarlett:word |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by jkpretty(f): 5:05pm On Feb 29, 2008 |
The grass can certainly be greener at the other side when u make the best out of what u've got. @joice thanx that was quite thotful/helpful. |
| Re: Would Marriage Be 'greener' If It Was Another Man/woman? by Nobody: 5:11pm On Feb 29, 2008 |
joice: This is Hilarious. Loved the highlighted part best |
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