RudySmith:

It is very simple, they are welcome at home until they "think" they are grown enough to have sex. Since having sex is not a joke and has serious repercussions, if someone think they are ready for such, then they should equally be ready to do that under their own roof, and live by the consequences of what such action entails.

Why can't they do it responsibly under your roof?

Why is it not enough for you to instill it into them that sex is not a joke and has serious repercussions and they should not engage in it until they are absolutely ready and it is the right time/person?

Are there any other grown up actions that they may perform that will induce this same reaction from you?

RudySmith:

Quoting God or the bible on such matter shows your lack of common sense. the Bible is clear on the fact that people CAN/should only have sex when they are married. now how can you bring God in this matter if you have no idea of the word of God? pls go pick a bible and start feeding your brain before coming here to reply nonsense!

Whoa, did I just read this?

This, coming from the guy that proudly admits to sleeping with multiple women apart from his wife? Wait, so you believe in no sex till marriage? Basically, chasing your children out of the house is punishment for having premarital sex? This is some utterly laughable bullshyte

Please say it isn't so Mr Rudysmith...

ileobatojo:
Why can't they do it responsibly under your roof?

there is no such thing as doing it responsibly, NONE!

Why is it not enough for you to instill it into them that sex is not a joke and has serious repercussions and they should not engage in it until they are absolutely ready and it is the right time/person?

It would be very stu.pid of me to be against a practice but let it happen under my roof happily, simply bcuz my kids are the one doing it. What an hypocrite move it would be.

Are there any other grown up actions that they may perform that will induce this same reaction from you?

Any actions that are against MY RULES can get them out, they fully well know it. I will stand fully by my children but will never indulge in their actions/reckless lifestyle while living in my own house. one thing for sure, You do drugs, I give you one chance to stop this nonsense, if you don't change , YOU ARE OUT! If you do any crime, i give you one chance to mend your ways, if you don't want to change, YOU ARE OUT!
but sex is different cuz we all know that when you have tasted the forbidden fruit, you can never stop.

ileobatojo: Whoa, did I just read this?

This, coming from the guy that proudly admits to sleeping with multiple women apart from his wife? Wait, so you believe in no sex till marriage? Basically, chasing your children out of the house is punishment for having premarital sex? This is some utterly laughable bullshyte

Please say it isn't so Mr Rudysmith...

PLS read my words carefully, I never said I was against sex before marriage, I am saying I am against people having sex and not standing for the consequences of such actions. See my sista, this is not a movie, this is real life. I am an Adult, I pay my own bills, I and the person I share my bed with have no problem with my actions, my actions has never made me fail on my duties as a providing, caring and loving parent/man. So MY lifestyle is not in question here, as honesty is the #1 value I try to instill in them.

Chasing them out of the house is not a punishment, it is the direct consequence of the act they decided to take, bcuz you have to b an adult to take such risk in life, and ADULTS live in their own homes!

RudySmith:

Of course, that is my house, my rules policy.....but hey, they are free to join and sleep at the salvation army if they think the rules will be any better there. Life ain't a bed of roses and I want them to take responsibilities for their action as soon as they are old enough to take any responsibilities like that. What makes you think that I will tell them that every morning?! they know the rule, and especially, the consequences of breaking these rules.

Lol...... Rudy come on Salvation Army @ 18? Where there are jobs ( minimum wage) boku everywhere that'll fetch them over $1k biweekly to get them everything they need( apartment , car, clothing and food) .... I don't know where you reside o..... you don't stress rules on kids especially girls , you don't have to tell them to move out , they will volunteer to do so if you think you are all that with your rules.

I get you but that rule thing just bugs my mind.... as long as a kid is well raised and nurtured with love and you trust them ..... I don't want no man chugging down one silly rule down my kids's throat every-time they pass their curfew! They are 18 for Christ sake!

This entire post is laughable in its ridiculousness. It's truly jaw dropping. From the contradictions to the hypocrisy to the bogus assertions, I pretty much have to write an epistle to address it all.

RudySmith:

there is no such thing as doing it responsibly, NONE!

Really? I wonder why sex education exists; what do you say we just scrap it completely the world over then?

It would be very stu.pid of me to be against a practice but let it happen under my roof happily, simply bcuz my kids are the one doing it. What an hypocrite move it would be.

PLS read my words carefully, I never said I was against sex before marriage

You're not against sex before marriage, then what practice are you against happening under your own roof?

Any actions that are against MY RULES can get them out, they fully well know it. I will stand fully by my children but will never indulge in their actions/reckless lifestyle while living in my own house. one thing for sure, You do drugs, I give you one chance to stop this nonsense, if you don't change , YOU ARE OUT! If you do any crime, i give you one chance to mend your ways, if you don't want to change, YOU ARE OUT!
but sex is different cuz we all know that when you have tasted the forbidden fruit, you can never stop.

Really, so having sex is on the same level as doing drugs and committing crimes, yet you proudly commit adultery with multitudes of women. If that isn't hypocrisy, then I will never know what the word means.

So they taste the forbidden fruit and instead of providing guidance and support, you throw them out to the dogs to go and indiscriminately continue to enjoy it at will. Does this make any sense to anyone else? Am I the only one flabbergasted here?

PLS read my words carefully, I never said I was against sex before marriage, I am saying I am against people having sex and not standing for the consequences of such actions.

What consequences, leaving your house? The consequences of having sex that I know of include STD's and infections, pregnancy, emotional problems and the like. If they have not faced any of these, then how can they not be standing up to the consequences of their actions? If you're not against sex before marriage, then why is the fact they are having sex something that they have to leave your home for. What then don't you approve? Why mustn't it happen in your house if you're not against it?

See my sista, this is not a movie, this is real life. I am an Adult, I pay my own bills, I and the person I share my bed with have no problem with my actions, my actions has never made me fail on my duties as a providing, caring and loving parent/man.

Ah, I get it now, the freedom to sleep around indiscriminately is contingent upon one's ability to pay your own bills. Groundbreaking..

Chasing them out of the house is not a punishment, it is the direct consequence of the act they decided to take, bcuz you have to b an adult to take such risk in life,

And the 15 yr old that start having sex while in your house nko? Does he/she automatically become an adult to take such a risk in life? Why won't you chase him/her out?

Once again, what's the 'risk in life'? I thought you weren't against premarital sex, why does there have to be a 'direct consequence' of you withdrawing your support for something you're not against? If your child gets a job, will you chase him out of your house as a 'direct consequence' of his decision to get a job?

and ADULTS live in their own homes!

And yet, you are willing to harbor your adult children as long as possible if they don't have sex. Abi, aren't you the one that said this?

I have already told my kids that they are welcomed at my house for the rest of their life, if they wish so, but the day they start to Be Intimate, then they best find their own places to do the do, and not under my roof.

If 'adults live in their own homes', why won't you automatically chase them out once they hit 18?

Like I said, this entire post is a flaming ball of contradiction and a poor attempt to defend a senseless stance. If you had said, 'I know it makes no sense but that's my stand on the issue', I would have applauded you for at least being self aware!

why're u sounding so much lyk MOMMYDEAREST. If to say u attached a boring story abt u nd ur child to d post now, i cld av concluded dt u're mommydearest 2. But seriously, an 18yr old gal, if u didn't know abt her virginity status until she's 18, wot exactly makes it ur business now dt she's an adult?

jidegirl12: Lol...... Rudy come on Salvation Army @ 18? Where there are jobs ( minimum wage) boku everywhere that'll fetch them over $1k biweekly to get them everything they need( apartment , car, clothing and food) .... I don't know where you reside o..... you don't stress rules on kids especially girls , you don't have to tell them to move out , they will volunteer to do so if you think you are all that with your rules.

Excatly my point, that child will have to go and be an ADULT bcuz having sex is an adult act. Again, focus on the next statement: MY HOUSE; MY RULES!

I get you but that rule thing just bugs my mind.... as long as a kid is well raised and nurtured with love and you trust them ..... I don't want no man chugging down one silly rule down my kids's throat every-time they pass their curfew! They are 18 for Christ sake!

what is the point of having rules if you are too chicken to enforce them?! These are the rules, and they can abide by them or leave. Do you think they will love me any less bcuz i have rules?! do you think it will make them any less responsible bcuz i have rules? NO! It is all about teaching them from the get go that life is NOT about doing what you want whenever you feel like it but to stand by the law (even if you don't like it). not doing so will always mean consequences.

@ileobatojo
since you have comprehension issues, let me try to help you the best I can:

- The day you know about any form of sex that is 100% safe then holla, until then I suggest you educate yourself on the subject.

- Let me repeat myself to you like I am talking to a 2yr old: I am against any form of sexual activity in my house by my kids. if they think they are old enough, let them get their own house to do whatever they wish to do.

- Again don't misquote me, having sex is the same as doing drug/crime when it comes to breaking the rules.

- The guidance about sex and all its consequences has been given a long time ago, and they are reminded a couple of times a yr. If/when the deed is done, consequences and ramifications are in order.

- Again, the consequences of having sex in my house is that they will have to go and get their own houses to have sex in. How difficult is that 4 u to understand that these are the rules and regulations? Do you want me to draw you a pictures about what breaking the rules means?

- The freedom to sleep around is contingent upon the rules and regulation about sleeping around that are in place in such household. If you live in your own house, you can do whatever you please, but if you are a "guest" then you MUST follow the host rules and regulations.

- As I said earlier, the 15yr old who has sex will have started "the countdown" (It is an offense to throw a 15yr old out on their own), the day he/she turns 18 is the day their walking papers will be signed and delivered.

- YES, I am willing to harbor an adult child as long as it takes until he settles in life, so long as he follows the rules and regulations.

RudySmith: @ileobatojo

- Let me repeat myself to you like I am talking to a 2yr old: I am against any form of sexual activity in my house by my kids. if they think they are old enough, let them get their own house to do whatever they wish to do.

b]

Stop going around in circles. Why are you against having sex while living in your house?

So far, the reason you've given, because it is an adult activity makes no sense. And, it completely contradicts this next statement of yours.

RudySmith: @ileobatojo

- YES, I am willing to harbor an adult child as long as it takes until he settles in life, so long as he follows the rules and regulations.

Why? Isn't he doing any adult activities he has to take responsibility for?

Poster....shakes my head in disgust... You are a confused being... O ma se o....smhhh

ileobatojo:
Stop going around in circles. Why are you against having sex while living in your house?

So far, the reason you've given, because it is an adult activity makes no sense. And, it completely contradicts this next statement of yours.

Why? Isn't he doing any adult activities he has to take responsibility for?

Again, it is called RULES and REGULATIONS. People may not like/understand them but they will follow them, bcuz daddy says so. Any Actions that has such serious consequences and ramification cannot/shouldn't be taken under my roof. If someone think they are mature/responsible enough to do such act, then in their own home is where they should do such act.......... and that's my final answer.

I think it is important for the dad to know. In my opinion, the father can impart wisdom gained over many many campaigns to the daughter, either directly or through the mother. I have always made my older children understand that sex is a damn serious business, with serious consequences. Women essentially don't have a brain when it comes to "romance" and I want to ensure that mine are clued up on what is out there and what can happen.

Johndoe100: I think it is important for the dad to know. In my opinion, the father can impart wisdom gained over many many campaigns to the daughter, either directly or through the mother. I have always made my older children understand that sex is a damn serious business, with serious consequences. Women essentially don't have a brain when it comes to "romance" and I want to ensure that mine are clued up on what is out there and what can happen.

If I may as please in your own words; how do you ask such question?

For your own sake some things are better left unknown. Just advice her against such things. Can you imagine what will be going through your mind when your baby girl tells you she has done it? Ooh, you will be shattered! Especially when she comes to you with her first heart break. LOL! Somethings are better left as is! She is an adult, advice only will be sufficient enough against the dangers men come with, which am sure you are quite aware of. I think more fathers should be active in their daughters lives, but not that active.lol.

If I tell him i'm still a virgin nko...what will he do ....finger me to see if I'm lying??

yes na, no be born am

slimyem: An 18 year-old is a child to her parents but also is not a child.
An 18 year old is an adult...and something as private as her virginity shouldn't be her father's business.
What would/does he want with it?
He had 0 to 18 years to train,nurture, and educate her about sex and well, the virginity thing....and should trust whatever choice she decides to make of it after that!!
He can be concerned about the kind of men/friends she hangs around and all of that and constantly advice/speak to her about making right choices....!
Expressly wanting to know her virginity status is just out of line..!!

sounds like a liberal

To know bride price tag on her.

No! That is mothers responsibility.

You've been building a house for 18 years haven't you. Then you wake up one day to ask the house whether it has a front door. I just wonder exactly what parents are doing these days and what parenting is all about. However just take a walk down the street and realise why these kinds of strange questions are being asked.

18 may the legal voting age in most countries, but as long as the 18 year old is not married, she is still under her parents authority. And while it is cool to be your daughters friend, you are first her father. Teach her to value and respect her body even when she is 18. Feel absolutely free to ask her if she is a virgin.

I guess. So he knows how much to charge (as bride price) or if he should just give her away FOC. :Dw

Can somebody please say it in his/her words how they'll ask that question?!

...... sweetheart, are you still keeping yourself or still a virgin ? .... what whaat

I don't buy d idea.

Yeah its normal to ask since the parents are still feeding her. . .


****jumps to take cover****

that's bull sh it

2me tis nt necessary anymore sins she's 18yrs.. U can only help dem by teachin dem sex education..

Most of our parents neva told us abt it,we learnt it oursef in oneway or d oda.. Zo a fada askin his daughter if she's sexual active isn't rite...

Dia's alwayz a way 2 go abt it,sins d moda is dia..

Siena:

Assuming she's got a mother.

As a father, it's very much my business, irrespective of whether my wife's around, or not. The fact is, some father's feel awkward asking certain questions, where they feel it's the wife's role. The role belongs to BOTH parents. Just the same way a mother can ask her son if he's still a virgin.

Parents should feel free with their children, regardless of gender. And children should also feel they can talk to their parents too.

That's my take on things, others may however see things differently.

What's this virginity for men that some people talk about self. If the creator cared much on men's virginity then he should have put a tiny hymen at the tip of the p

@post
Not when a girl gets to 18 that you ask such a qt. If you care abt her virginity she should have known way earlier n would value it n not throw it to the wind like many girls do now which is laughable.

rimzo:


So you don't care to know about sexual activities of your daughter that is not married.
We need to teach and advice our children about sex education.

Nd wht wil u do if u discover shez no longer a virgin?

I don't know why people do not see the WRONG in sleeping around like dogs.. The fact that you loss your virginity at age 14 do not mean your daughter can sleep around like my dog- bingo.. before she clock 18

I wish I have a younger sister...

but I will ask my daughter over and over again...even at age 20, I'll keep asking till she meet her own husband.. na me born am and it's nobody's biz if I ask or not..

There is pride in virginity.. A man would always respect the mother of a virgin girl.. Show me a 19 year old pervert and I'll show you a careless, reckless mom.. #fact from acidosis..

Of course i can ask her cuz me nd my children will b pals..
'IMAGINE:-Daddy can we talk 2 u?'
It sounds great.if i cnt talk 2 my children,den y do i fada dem?

Is not as if is not there business or that daddy's don't have the right to know. . . . . but the truth is that his wife is meant to let him knw immediately she finds out that their gurl child is no more a virgin. At least the wife have made him not to feel being left out......cuz he has every right to know buh definetly not 4rm the daughter buh 4rm the wife.