How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice - Family (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by sylve11: 1:43pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Miss, if this happens to be some guys I use to know, make u know sey ur own don set; except u take him to church for deliverance (may be T.B Joshua). I have some friends that will keep u malice for over three weeks for almost nothing. . .meaning with little or no fault but with little misunderstanding, they will keep u malice. Sometimes, they may resolve to not taking ur calls. I pray this is not the kinda man, most especially when he considers all his doings 'right'. . .then almost certain shall ye remain a complainant all the rest of thy life.  3 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Nobody: 1:43pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: Sit and watch tv when he is busy acting like a child, ignore him Funny, but sometimes, it works wonder  Whenever he starts acting up, try to talk to him like others have suggested. However, Serve his food on time(never allow the maid to do this)especially at this crucial time, do not stop greeting him or being nice to him whenever there is need. You can play with your kids, do their homework with them and generally appear happy and radiant. Believe me, he is used to you crawling up to him and begging, surprise him for once and he'll think twice next time. Above all, pray pray pray...prayer changeth things! BTW, I'm happily married and I know men can be funny. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by laoak2: 1:44pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
woman, most of the time, they will not mention what they have done wrong? a man will avoid a woman who nags, abuse and insult, rather than engage in cross talk or cross fight, he simply avoid you. He will continue to do that, until you have proven to him that you have changed. If you change your way, he will naturally come back to you. For a man to get to that point, you must have done some very painful and foundamental error which he may still be finding hard to deal with. 6 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by superior1: 1:46pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
What you call a little misunderstanding may not be little to him, we all have different ways of perception. Just go to him in the night, demonstrate genuine repentance and try resolving the issue of discord. [size=14pt]Note: Playing I dont also give a damn, is very very counter productive[/size] 1 Like |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by OXYZ: 1:46pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
This is one sided stories. The other part is not included. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by eledalo: 1:47pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Pull down his trousers and give him a blooooowjob. ALL will be forgiven and forgotten. TRUST ME. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by princeonx: 1:48pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: I wld be divorced if he cldnt cope wit it...but I'm still happily married. He behaves like he is having menopause wen he is a man and he wants to be chased after for whatJust consider yourself lucky. You said it yourself! (If he couldn't cope) not because you are too smart or his mood is senseless like you put it. Your husband might be the gently type that come around in a day or two! If you find yourself in the op's position, dealing with a guy that shot off for weeks and months, you probabely won't say the same. People are different and handle things differently! My wife will prefer 24 strokes of Cain and things get back to normal after 30 minutes instead of keeping malice with her for even a day! Like some guys have mentioned here even though am not counting it as an excuse, it might simply be to cool off but months is too much abeg! She kill your mama? 2 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by ichidodo: 1:56pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
if we slap the woman dem go talk say na domestic violence,we no come slap the woman na im b say na malice,we don turn pikin, shuo! |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by mayorcowboy: 2:09pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
if i most confess, no man will like to keep malice to his lovely wed wife unnecessarily . marriage is sweet, if both in it join hands to build it. Take my little candid advise to you: {a}if u offend ur husband.prepare him his favorite meal,serve him if he come back from work. don't allow him go to kitchen or even ask for food b4 u do that,then allow him to eat. {b}wear a transparent night gown,then meet him in bed and tell him that ur sorry u will see his quick response.but be ready to give it to him at that moment if he demand 4 that. {c}make peace with him even if ur right,if u have resolve that issues let him know that u apologize 4 peace to reign when playing with him, he will love u the more. {d}avoid long argument with him and ur mis understanding exceed a day interval. {e} avoid third party interfarence in ur mis understanding with ur husband. {f} do house fellowship together with him. thank u as u read and apply all these, God will change him after doing all these and if he still keep malice.bring him to me by writing me message i will help u take him celestial church make him collect cain.lol   |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Attention(f): 2:15pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
sometimes such men have mistresses outside, they are happy when out when they return its back to malice... find out if he is keeping some other female relationship. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Callotti: 2:15pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Not applicable. He can't even if he tried. Too much of an easy-going person for all that.  I MARRIED A MAN. . . NOT A BOY! If it ever becomes that way. . . I am very good at IGNORING over-grown babies! He needs to move in with his MAMMA! |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by kayfx2(m): 2:18pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
@Op ...There is one simple solution to people like this..i am talking from experience,people who keep malice tends to study the reaction on their host.Once he notice the malice is getting at you he gets happy and he will almost or never stops it. Try as much as possible not to act like something like that is even happening...Come back and thank me when he changes. 7 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by KINGwax(m): 2:25pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Mynd_44: The major problem here miss is that you don't seem to understand your husband. He is avoiding you not because he does not forgive you or he is punishing you, far from it ma'am, he is avoiding you because he is scared.pls, can u jes try and be factual for once? The best way to undstnd dt people are different is to ask if u, mynd, will do dt to ur wife. Not evn a gf. I mean smone u see evrdy and refused to talk to for weeks or months. Pls, dnt jes stand there and try to tell d lady she doesnt knw her man or the man doesnt wanna hurt her. For weeks? If only u knw how painful it is for ladies to go tru without choice. The psychological effect. The man has feminine issues. He's a baby. He is mentally derranged. I'm quick to anger, bt jeez, i can't do malice for weeks. I gotta b d man evn wen she's at fault. Kilode? 16 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by luvablesam(m): 2:47pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
victorian: Men are indeed babies...u just av to buckle up and pet him...and be quiet.....he will come around after a while..babies? Women ar d bigger babies,doh u make nice comments.....weldone 1 Like |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by nightfall(m): 2:48pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
that is exactly what i do i dont look at it as malice i let her be with her nagging |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Sanusilyde(m): 2:57pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
The first practical solution to every marital problem is COMMUNICATION,that ego in men will make him expect you to talk to him first,as a responsible wife you want to gain/safe your husband and your marriage,so always find a way to talk to him. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by ferhyntorlah(f): 2:58pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Trut: Husband and Wife are not suppose to keep malice no matter the problem Obrigalda! |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by andyanders: 2:59pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
ogepure: What can u do when you hae a husband that keeps malice with you in every little misunderstanding you have with him. [b]Madam, this is pure wahala. Such a man can kill because the mental torture alone can kill. I am a man and whatever kind of problem I have with my wife should be settled before we sleep as I will voice out my anger or mind to her and at the same time, ask her to get me my food. Malice is a dangerous issue in marriage and I even cannot bear it if my wife frowns as I will be uncomfortable and would want to resolve issues with her as I think she is my best friend. I think you need God's intervention as most men/women or married couple act this way by keeping malice. As I cannot stay here and judge your husband, check yourself and see if you have some kind of character that has made your husband act the way he is doing right now. Also, when did you start noticing this his attitude. Before, at early stage of your marriage or lately? Is he God fearing, a christian by heart or appearance? You also need to pray for him and if you think your character is what is making him act the way he is, change it. show him love and do not be a husband Challenger. If he talk one, you will talk three.Do You abuse him or insult him?Or you do not give him his respect and try to show that you are a western woman who is not submissive? check your life as your husband is not here to counter your claim, but I still think that s a man of the house, he should not keep malice to his wife no matter what. Find a way to resolve issue when you retire to sleep. Try to talk to him and find out those things that irritates him and make him to keep malice. Ask him to teach you or help you correct your mistakes by advising you. Goodluck [/b] 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by andyanders: 2:59pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
ogepure: What can u do when you hae a husband that keeps malice with you in every little misunderstanding you have with him. [b]Madam, this is pure wahala. Such a man can kill because the mental torture alone is a killer decease. I am a man and whatever kind of problem I have with my wife should be settled before we sleep as I will voice out my anger or mind to her and at the same time, ask her to get me my food. Malice is a dangerous issue in marriage and I even cannot bear it if my wife frowns as I will be uncomfortable and would want to resolve issues with her as I think she is my best friend. I think one need God's intervention as most men/women or married couple act this way by keeping malice. As I cannot stay here and judge your husband, check yourself and see if you have some kind of character that has made your husband act the way he is doing right now. Also, when did you start noticing this his attitude. Before, at early stage of your marriage or lately? Is he God fearing, a christian by heart or appearance? You also need to pray for him and if you think your character is what is making him act the way he is, change it. show him love and do not be a husband Challenger. If he talk one, you will talk three.Do You abuse him or insult him?Or you do not give him his respect and try to show that you are a western woman who is not submissive? check your life as your husband is not here to counter your claim, but I still think that s a man of the house, he should not keep malice to his wife no matter what. Find a way to resolve issue when you retire to sleep. Try to talk to him and find out those things that irritates him and make him to keep malice. Ask him to teach you or help you correct your mistakes by advising you. Goodluck [/b] 1 Like |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by coldgate(f): 2:59pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
| [img][/img]Ignore him. He will get tired and come around on his own. Rubbish! |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Papido(m): 3:07pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
ogepure: What can u do when you hae a husband that keeps malice with you in every little misunderstanding you have with him. Unfortunately, I think I can identify with your husband to an extent. I tend to deal with issues same way though I have never done more than a week. Believe me, in your husband's silence, he is actually communicating. Ignoring him or indulging him are two extremes. you need to find a way between. he is suffering as much as you are and he is just expecting you to hear what he is saying through silence. I do this too for a few reasons: 1. my wife argues with me a lot when we disagree. we raise our voices and this puts me off. so, i shut down. if she won't hear my view, I can as well log off.when we both calm down, I sit her down and we talk. But while am logged off, she displays I don't care attitude and that only tends to prolong the truce because you are telling me by your attitude what you were telling while the voices were raised. 2. we are melancholics. forgiveness is difficult for melancholics. incidentally, we marry sanguines because you complement and complete us. you have what we wished we have. 3. we are not batterers. believe me, a good melancholy would rather be hurt than hurt others. personally, my words are razor sharp, so i let it out carefully or not at all. I cannot say how much your husband loves you but the core of the matter is the temperament differences. While sanguines are fun to be around, they also tend to put us off with their shallow way of approaching issues. their gift is also their weakness. my wife for instance cannot be bothered by anything so she does things at the spur of the moment. Like asking me to wait for her to go shower exactly when she sees i have picked the car keys. wheareas, I have planned my movement to the minute from the night before. if i ignore her, then am insensitive. If I don't I will be boiling inside. all in all, you need to work out your own formula together. best wishes. 7 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by KINGwax(m): 3:11pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
kayfx2: @Op ...There is one simple solution to people like this..i am talking from experience,people who keep malice tends to study the reaction on their host.Once he notice the malice is getting at you he gets happy and he will almost or never stops it. Try as much as possible not to act like something like that is even happening...Come back and thank me when he changes.u probably havn't met enough. i knw of someone dt grows more angry wen u ignore his grudges. Infact, he gets very violent. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Nobody: 3:34pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
[b][/b][b][/b]candy:Dont know why i like this advise, i think its because its 5 strategies put together 1. Talk to Him 2. Still serve his food 3. Greet him and be nice 4. Play with your kids: it means to have some fun without him 5. Pray. But whatever you do, please dont beg. This to me is the best advise 2 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by divinetalent(m): 3:39pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
From my own experience cos I keep LONG MALICE like your hubby before Even to My SWEET MUM. Ur husband is hot tampered(but can't hit you but can finish anyone outside), discipline, stubborn, caring, believe in actions etc. Hence, if He come in contact with you those time he might hurt u badly. More so, maybe u don't take or listen to instruction or u repeat mistake over and over again. Thus, some men can't beat their wife and the believe keeping malice on them will correct them. This is how my present girl friend corrected mine. 1. Show respect to your HUBBY but never FEAR him. 2. Try your possible best not to repeat a mistake he corrected earlier. Hence, if u repeat a mistake APOLOGIES IMMEDIATELY and Never Delay. 2. For my Girl Anytime she behave badly, she will BOLDLY SAY "I"M SORRY BABY, THAT SHE IS A HUMAN BEING AND NOT PERFECT, SHE WILL TRY NOT TO DO SUCH AGAIN" which will calm any man even devil himself. 3. If we quarrel and its her fault, she will apologize and never allow me to go out until I'm calm down. She will cry and hold me AND I MUST FORGIVE BEFORE I WILL GO OUT. 4. Never keep malice on him EVEN if he is keeping one on you. Is your husband, after apologizing grab your hubby and cheer him up or calm him down OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL DO THAT FOR YOU. 5. Never ever insult or disagree with this man in public. Anything he does u don't like, quietly correct him when he is calm. He will listen then. 6. Try to do things that will please him like cooking what he likes, watching his clothes, playing with the children, keeping the house CLEAN. If he likes BEER, Buy Him One and YOU WILL BE SURPRISE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT. 7. Don's invite third party to your problems, try and settle your problem yourself. 8. TRY AND EDUCATE HIM ON DANGERS OF KEEPING MALICE ON YOU. E.g That you will die one day of heart failure etc. After this steps and your man still keep MALICE on u, HMMMMMMM ENTER FASTING AND PRAYING FOR HIS HEAD BECAUSE THAT OWN MIGHT BE FROM THE VILLAGE O O O O O . . . 4 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by safeLove(f): 3:54pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
greatgod2012: Anytime u have a disagreement, do you sincerely aplogise, if no, try that. Story. You haven't seen men who are die hard malice keepers. A lot of marriages have gone "south" because the husbands refused to be man enough to be responsible. I once posted of a friend whose marriage broke up because her husband did not speak to her nor have relationship with her for over 3 months after a minor disagreement. They are currently going through a divorce now and guess what,the man hasn't shown up still,after almost 2yrs of separation. When a man wants to be mean,no amount of petting and submission or sex(if it happens) will soften his heart. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Kobojunkie: 4:04pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
ogepure: What can u do when you hae a husband that keeps malice with you in every little misunderstanding you have with him. @Poster, have you tried telling him how you sincerely feel whenever he does that to you? Possible in a letter mailed to him or delivered to him by a good friend? Does he check email messages from you? That might work but somehow I think getting him to understand how much he hurts you when he does that might be a start. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by troy20(m): 4:09pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
it surprises me 2 bt i'm d malice keeping type bt i dnt c it as malice.i evaluate 2 much b4 i decide 2 give u sum distance.i hardly hurt pple as i can easily reach out 2 hw de will feel.and even wen wrungd i stil try 2 reach out.But i cant bear disrespect 4rm women especialy.once u cant kip ur tongue quite as a woman i instantly avoid u.even my mother. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Toppiano(m): 4:37pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Mynd_44: The major problem here miss is that you don't seem to understand your husband. He is avoiding you not because he does not forgive you or he is punishing you, far from it ma'am, he is avoiding you because he is scared. That explains me. Women can be frustrating sometimes. I would rather be silent and formal (no indiscriminate laughter, no usual assistance in doing household cores just the basic stuffs)to control my anger. Trust women, they repeat same mistake over and over especially if you are the responsible kind of man and they keep hoping you dont react. Real Men dey try o  |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Nobody: 4:38pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
debrief08: If the man of the house cannot solve conflicts like an adult then deal with him the way he acts like a child. I have learnt it is counter productive to reward bad behavior, he acts like that because of the attention he ges from acting out just like a small child does. 100 likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by safeLove(f): 4:39pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
The truth is that most marriages in NIGERIA are not based on love. I mean real emotional love. I can't keep malice for more that 30mins with my husband when I know how much he means to me. If a man truly loves his wife,sees her as the apple of his eyes,I doubt if he'll find pleasure seeing her suffer emotionally because of his silence towards her. I'm the one who does the malice keeping at home,and whatever the situation between us,I always look forward to having him home always and most times we forget the cause of the "malice" sef!!. I haven't seen,pray not to see what will make either of us keep malice for more than one day.. I don't know what I'll do o. We know that marriage involves a lot of things,but being at peace with yourself and your spouse makes the journey a bit easier. Abi naw!! 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by aduje(m): 4:46pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
@poster, there is likely something you are repeatedly doing that he does not like. You (the wife) may be the nagging type and your man would rather give you some distance than being found arguing an issue with you. Most men whose wife does not easily respect their opinions are naturally taken to 'let you be' instead of being seen as a regular complainant. Search yourself, pray and love him. Do not try to please him. JUST LOVE HIM. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do You Deal With A Husband That Keeps Malice by Kobojunkie: 5:24pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
aduje: @poster, there is likely something you are repeatedly doing that he does not like. You (the wife) may be the nagging type and your man would rather give you some distance than being found arguing an issue with you. Most men whose wife does not easily respect their opinions are naturally taken to 'let you be' instead of being seen as a regular complainant. Search yourself, pray and love him. Do not try to please him. JUST LOVE HIM. I think you need to be the one to change here. From time immemorial, women have been tagged the naggers in relationships. Since it is near common knowledge(even though mostly inaccurate), shouldn't it then follow that this should no more be used as an excuse for the stupid things the men do? I mean if you hear of something from day one, wouldn't you have to be an eejit, to, 1000 years later, still complain about that very same? I mean stop with this "wife are naggers" nonsense already and try some other excuse that is more original. You have a grown up man, who is meant to protect his wife and his home, keeping malice and what you have to add, like billions before you have not tried that now-lame excuse, is that she might be a nagger??  Really?? You know how they say " it gets old"? Well this excuse you have used here is old, and decayed . . . try something else. 3 Likes |
if he doesn't want to talk she doesn't have to force it, when he finally switches back to being a man (from a moody 60yr old woman facing menopause) then they can talk. must her life come to an end because he is stubborn 
no person was brought on this earth to suffer because of another man's senseless mood swings...he needs to see a psychologist for it tooDon't Leave Your Man For Having Too Many Partners: Man Advises Women. (photos) / Man Dumps Wife For Sister Inlaw, Says Her Cooking And Sex Is Better / Married With Kids But Deeply In Love With Another Lady
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