Why Do People Discourage Others? How To Avoid Being Discouraged From Your Dreams - Nairaland / General - Nairaland
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| Why Do People Discourage Others? How To Avoid Being Discouraged From Your Dreams by NoContract(m): 8:57am On Dec 31, 2012 |
[size=13pt]If you want to hide something from a Black person, put it in a book[/size] Its completely normal to encounter people in your life who try to put you down but when you start questioning your abilities after talking to them then know that you are in great danger. The best way i can help you not to get affected by those people is to let you know why people discourage others in the first place. Why do people discourage others? These are the real reasons that motivate people to discourage you: 1) They can't do what you want to do: If i believe that i can't succeed then i will assume that other people won't be able to succeed as well unless they are lucky. Now when i meet an enthusiastic person who claims that he/she can succeed i will certainly try to infect him with my negative beliefs. 2) They were threatened by you: Some people feel threatened whenever they find anybody trying to do something that they never dared to do. If someone always wanted to be rich but never dared to start a private business then he/she will feel threatened if he/she found you taking this step. In such a case this person might put you down just to make sure that you won't bypass him and become better than him 3) They are jealous: Believe it or not, a close friend may try to discourage you just because he/she is jealous of you. If you are getting more attention than him or if he/she feels incompetent compared to you then he/she might put you down just because he/she feels jealous 4) He/she is afraid: When i proposed my first book to the owner of a publishing house back in 2006 the man refused to publish it claiming that he/she only publishes books about politics. Later on when i sold more than 1 million worth of copies (see How i did it) i realized that the man was just afraid to take the risk because i seemed young and so he/she chose to put me down 5) They hate you: If a person hates you he/she wont want to see you succeeding at anything and that's why he/she will try to discourage you whenever he/she gets the chance. Beware of enemies who come disguised as friends (see Dealing with people who hate you at work) 6) They are not well informed: Many people hate to say "I don't know" when they are asked about something. When people lack sufficient knowledge about what you are planning to do they might put you down just not to say "I don't know" 7) They can't see the full picture: some people will put you down just because they can't see the full picture you saw. Those people might have good intentions but in the end they will do the same harm that others who bad intentions did How to prevent people from discouraging you There are two things you need to do in order to prevent people from discouraging you. The first is to not talk about your plans except in front of a person who really loves you. If you did otherwise you will risk being discouraged by those people. The second thing you need to do is to reply back stating that you have solid faith in your plans while explaining why you have that faith. In such a case many of those who used to put you down might start believing in you and pushing you forward. It is not a simple task to ignore those who are trying to discourage us from pursuing our dreams. Their intentions are generally well-meant and their arguments tend to make “sense”, but the fact remains that it is OUR dream and not theirs, and as such they will always fail to recognize the importance of it. When we pursue our dreams, something unavoidable happens; it affects everyone around us. You might think this is a positive aspect of our work, but it almost always has a negative impact for one very specific reason; if we succeed in achieving our dream it proves that they can to. Let’s face it, the world is FULL of people with failed or abandoned dreams and they don’t want to know that they’ve walked away from something that could’ve changed their lives. But more to the core, they don’t want you to succeed when they themselves have failed. You’d think, if they loved us or cared about us, the opposite would be true; that they would want to see us succeed even more than ever, but that isn’t the way the human psyche works. Instead, when we’ve failed, we want to “protect” the ones we love from experiencing the same heart break and disappointment that we have had to deal with. And so, the very people who aught to be encouraging us to continue in our pursuit of joy, fulfillment and a sense of contentment, are the very ones who try to keep us from it. The tools most often employed against us are: shame for being so self-centered, guilt for not being satisfied, chastisement for not being “realistic”, and fear about where failure would leave us. And believe me, these are powerful, powerful tools designed to elicit a whole range of emotions that will threaten to undermine our resolve, and cause us to question our actions and intention. |
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