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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / New Year Gift (3852 Views)
Dear PHCN, It's A New Year...... / A New Year Logical Question! Logical Answers Pls! / Happy New Year To Everyone On The Nairaland Literature/writing Board!!!!! (2) (3) (4)
New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 9:44am On Jan 01, 2013 |
************************ We came back from church yesternight, we came back to meet our big fat white broiler dead. Chai! I wan cry when I see am. And then it had to be carried to the back of the fence, on the outside, to be buried. "Oya bury it fast! Dont let people see us and start talking rubbish!", my mother said, visibly agitated at the thought of being seen in the midnight burying a white chicken. "Then let us keep it in the cage and bury it in the morning", my father suggested "No ooo! We cannot leave a dead animal in the house na!", I retort, "Who even cares who sees us? It is their mouth jare!" "Dont say that! Just dig faster and put the chicken quickly!", she says hastily, we can already hear voices at the other end of the street, church returnees. Cheek! Cheeek!! Red earth gives way as the black shovel ectomizes it every now and then. The voices are getting louder, we can already see the dim glow of their flashlight, swinging from side to side with their gait. "That is deep enough. Oya put it inside!", my mother said rather fearfully "But it is not yet......." "Just put it jare. Dont let people meet us here!", my mother cut in. I drop the bird into the rather shallow grave. Its neck is above the ground, I twist it here and there with the shovel and then I cover it with the excavated dust. Dust to dust, is that not so? We bury it in time, we were not seen by anybody, at least we didnt observe ourselves being seen. "So what will we eat tomorrow?", my father said as we closed the gate and walked back into the compound, his voice tinted with a bit of sadness. Meeeheeheee! A goat bleats happily in the street, just infront of the gate. The whole family rushes back to the gate and pull it open to see our neighbour's goat. Standing there and bleating joyously, obviously happy to be alive to witness the new year. I smile a evil smile, an infectious evil smile. The rest of the family smiles with me, we exchange glances of maleficience, a glitter of evil in our eyes and then we turn our gaze back to the giddy fat goat, the evil smile brightens and lengthens. 6 Likes |
Re: New Year Gift by sholay2011(m): 9:57am On Jan 01, 2013 |
Lolz...nice one. But pls complete it. Did ur evil smile result into evil actns? |
Re: New Year Gift by FoxyRebirth(m): 9:59am On Jan 01, 2013 |
I was hoping to be the first to comment, this thread should be moved to the front page. Kai... I no fit laugh.... Hahahahhahahahahhahahahahh hahahahahahhahahahahhahahah hahahahahhahahahahhahahaha Did I just do that... Buhahahahhahahahaha |
Re: New Year Gift by fujirice: 10:08am On Jan 01, 2013 |
Hihihi! Dz guy, u nefer seize 2 deliver. Two thumbs up for u bra! Kip up de gud work |
Re: New Year Gift by Nobody: 10:15am On Jan 01, 2013 |
U buried a white fowl on new year?! *reading 3million different interpretations to it* Nice one Friend... |
Re: New Year Gift by omiobo: 10:36am On Jan 01, 2013 |
. A landlady was caught when burying a dead black fowl among her fowls. Since then,she has been named witch. |
Re: New Year Gift by Feraz(m): 11:02am On Jan 01, 2013 |
You don teach your people bad things innit?? |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 11:05am On Jan 01, 2013 |
Muhehehehehee!!! |
Re: New Year Gift by Oluwafunmilayo95(f): 11:28am On Jan 01, 2013 |
Funny you... So wetin happen nah..abi gist don finish? |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 11:33am On Jan 01, 2013 |
Oluwafunmilayo95: Funny you...I am happy to make u happy! No vex again ya! |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 11:34am On Jan 01, 2013 |
omiobo: . A landlady was caught when burying a dead black fowl among her fowls. Since then,she has been named witch. tchidi: U buried a white fowl on new year?!Dem go just talk say we dey do JUJU!! |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 11:36am On Jan 01, 2013 |
Foxy and feraz, my brothers in the underlord Thank all you guys who encourage me! Na una dey fuel me! I am thinking of posting another wan sef! Today no boredom things, its all been quite interesting! |
Re: New Year Gift by Beync(f): 12:13pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
Awww I pity the escape goat |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:29pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
sholay2011: Lolz...nice one. But pls complete it. Did ur evil smile result into evil actns?Wetin u think/ |
Re: New Year Gift by Warlord3000(m): 2:04pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
Just like I hate peeps not completing their sentences.. I hate peeps not finishing a story too *angry* Most especially when its an interesting one |
Re: New Year Gift by Shugamania(f): 2:33pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
E don finish naa, What else? Figure d rest out urself. Moskii, l'odun tuntun... e no good o |
Re: New Year Gift by Udee1(f): 2:58pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
Lmao! Red I can see where you get your genes of mischief from. |
Re: New Year Gift by Nobody: 6:26pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
All of u had the evil grin on ur faces.... Who are u guys,the adam's family?!.... Nice one bro. |
Re: New Year Gift by ikotaiwo(m): 8:16pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
"But it is not yet.... |
Re: New Year Gift by olenyi: 8:20pm On Jan 01, 2013 |
Another great piece from the red himself. Big up's. Ps* a ton of boredom once more |
Re: New Year Gift by Ishilove: 12:23pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Redmosquito: ************************I put a full stop in the sentence. It reads better for effect. Redmosquito:You switched to present tense when you began with past tense. When writing, we should stick to particular style per section. If you want to use past tense, stick to past tense throughout, if present, then stick to present. Don't mix them up because it doesn't read nice. Redmosquito:Niggi, never heard of paragraphs?? Redmosquito: **Past tense here... Redmosquito: **Present tense narration here...you see what I mean? It's not smooth... Redmosquito:A mixture of the both here... [quote author=Redmosquito] "So what will we eat tomorrow?", my father said as we closed the gate and walked back into the compound, his voice tinted with a bit of sadness. Present tense again. Red Moss, the major issues with this work is the tense thing and PARAGRAHING. Haaaaaaaaa!!! That aside, the work is hilarious!! Keep it up. As you write, you will get better that is a given. I think you should hook up with sebonzakura kageyoshi (this guys name ehn! ). Meanwhile, I will attempt paragraphing your work and you'll tell me what you think. 1 Like |
Re: New Year Gift by Ishilove: 12:25pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Redmosquito: ************************What do you think? Please make corrections where you deem necessary. 1 Like |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:29pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Ishilove: ***falls down and dies*** **Only a kiss of life can awaken me*** 1 Like |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:31pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
But I agree with the tense suggestion, I have been having tense issues since african nerd. I will try harder next time........ **Wipes away sweat** 1 Like |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:33pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Ishilove:Haa! Well I have to admit! It does look nicer now! |
Re: New Year Gift by Ishilove: 12:35pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Redmosquito:Stomping on your red asss will have to suffice |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:35pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
I gave the work some paragraphs, but to be sincere I never knew I had to space them! |
Re: New Year Gift by FoxyRebirth(m): 12:35pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Redmosquito: **Kicks him hard in his groin** You don wake up |
Re: New Year Gift by Ishilove: 12:36pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Redmosquito: But I agree with the tense suggestion, I have been having tense issues since african nerd. I will try harder next time........Watch where you pour that sweat... |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:36pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Foxy_Rebirth:**Bites his ehen** |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:37pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Ishilove:SO what u are saying is I have to use a specific tense throughout the story or just per section of it? |
Re: New Year Gift by Redmosquito(m): 12:38pm On Jan 04, 2013 |
Ishilove:***Pours it in cup and offers it to her to drink*** |
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