'Deborrah! Oga dey call u', Udeme (my nemesis) called out across our long office or his workstation I should say, since three departments with staff strength of ten use the office.

I stood up and crossed over to Udeme's workstation, leaned close to his ear while I told him for the umpteenth time that I preferred Deb to Deborah.

He pronounces the Deborah with a bad calabar accent that gets my ire. I have the sneaky suspicion that if he tried, he'd probably find a way to screw up Deb too. He's the resident office clown, so it’s part of his repertoire and he likes picking on me. Why? I swear I don't know.

'Why oga dey call me?' I asked him.

'I resemble M.O, abi? mtscheeeeeew' he shot back

M.O is MD's secretary, that’s what we all call her including the MD (I got to know much later that it means Mama Ore)

'Haba! So he dey wrong to ask simple question now abi he don reach like that. Why u dey vex sef?' I queried.

'I no dey vex, MD just wants you to get software for him at Ikeja'. He replied.

'Haha why me now? I started grumbling. I don't know Ikeja at all besides I have never seen computer software in all my life. Am I also to assume you don’t know anything about this, because it will be very strange for the M.D to want me to go to Ikeja, knowing full well I know nothing about computers.

'Oh no, I don't know ikeja at all oh and I can't be looking for software all over ikeja ooo, Udeme taunted 'with his accent' and some of our co-workers started laughing and looking our way.

‘C’mon this is not fair now, on top say una be akagum for una company sef. Common small alawe una no fit give person, but una fit send person go ikeja. Nonsense!!! I retorted angrily.

‘BOSE! BOSE!! BOSE!!!, how many times I call you? Udeme started with his concentrated accent. Oya waka comot for my workstation. I don deliver message since, you dey here dey complain of chicken change like say nah me own the company.

I'd annoyingly grabbed his shirt during his tirade which only made our interplay more interesting to our audience.

JJC! BOSE!! abi nah DEBORRAH!!! You wan make I call you, abegi do, make you leave me before you decide to rape me join.

Trust our audience, before my nemesis finished with his last statement, catcalls of Bose and JJC rented the air and lots of laughter was thrown into the mix for good measure. I didn’t realise I’d actually grabbed his shirt too, now I know where the rape comment was coming from.

I jejely left the silly guy and his shirt alone and went down to the MD's office with the longest face ever thinking,

"Imagine am not even drawing a regular salary from their coffers and they want to send me half way across Lagos to buy software. Arrgghhh! And to remember him say, ‘we don’t pay I.T students here, you are here for the knowledge not the money’ when I’d first reported for duty. Now he wants to send an IT student on errand". Bah!!! The nerve on them...

'Udeme says you can get me these at ikeja', MD says flipping a paper towards me.

Five of them, gibberish they all seem to me but don't blame me I am not computer literate.

'Get whatever you need from M.O and bring those discs back before noon' he commanded.

‘Yes sir' I almost did a salute and charged right back to Udeme's workstation.

'You sneaky brute, I raged at Udeme immediately i got to his workstation. Isn't it enough you pick on me, now you got me into an impossible situation with the MD, I haven't been to Ikeja ever and I don't know what a software looks like, now the MD wants it before noon. How do you suppose I do that. Hun, how?'

‘You can rant from today till tomorrow, am not the MD and I’d say you better make it snappy, its two hours to noon. Get to M.O and be on your way'. Udeme replied not even caring to look at my strong face.

'But how do I get to ikeja now?’ I was almost whining so I wasn't surprised when Udeme did a falsetto.

‘How does BOSE get to ikeja now? Missy Deborah go outside and get a bike, it’s as simple as that'.

This got our staff laughing again, but I was horrified. 'Bike! Okada!! To ikeja!!!' Now I believe my eyes are bulging.

'But I can't, is that even possible? Do people do that in Lagos'. I asked the whole office. This is incredible I thought.

'Oh no! Boossseeee can’t bike to ikeja, I suppose JJC can fly to Ikeja ooo, because there’s no way you are going to get back in time if you take those yellow and black van, even taxi won’t go and come back in time because of traffic. Udeme continued taunting me.

I don't know who Bose is or what it means, but since I’d started working here, it’s either Bose or the bastardized version of my name from my nemesis. Bose gets all of them laughing every time. But the situation today is not a joking matter at all.

I am JJC to Lagos, Born, raised and schooled in Ibadan before I got the insane idea to do my IT Lagos and know a bit of the bubbling monstrous city. Apparently the said city is not in a gay mood today, because Lagos is giving me the monstrous part and hiding the bubbly part of itself from me.

Do you know how much lesson my folks gave me before coming over? Lesson numero uno (whatever you do, don't get on a bike. Lagos bikers are color blind. Red, yellow and green means GO to them) now am supposed to get on that bike from surulere to Ikeja, poor me.

'Is Ikeja that far from here? I asked Udeme.

'Na wah for you oh, Bose. You won waka the tin niii?' another round of laughter from the staff.

‘Getting a bike is actually your best bet if you want to come back before noon’ a sensible staff chipped in.

How and when did I stop being the boring JJC from Ibadan to being the clown from lala land? that answer lies with Udeme my nemesis. I could hear snickers of Bose and JJC as I left the room, today isn't just my day rara.

'M.O, I need 10,000 to buy this stuff, ehnmm software for MD'.

'Let me see that list’ she said.

I passed the note to her and she took her time going through it. The only thing going through my mind was my intending okada journey. Nope! Still not finding anything funny yet.

'You don't need that much, 5,000 should do it. I assume your transport is included' she asked returning the note

'Yes ma’am'
‘Alright’ M.O said handing over 5,000 naira.

I was about leaving when I thought 'what if it isn't enough'. Went back and got my purse. Now am covered.

I hailed the first bike I saw and told him am going to ikeja, specifically where they sell computer and software.

The biker gave me a strange look and asked 'Which one you wan buy, computer or software?'

I promptly gave him the paper, he looked through and said 'I know where you dey go'

'Are you sure?' because I wasn't sure where I was going myself.

'No shaking, your money nah 2k' the bike-man replied.

'Chineke! nah heaven we dey go nii!! hian!!! nah so Ikeja far reach, no be for that side ikeja dey,' I retorted pointing in the exact opposite direction. Nah 1k me get ooh. I bargained.

'Haba, aunty no be like that at all, ikeja no even dey for that side at all, you sef understand how he dey go now, oya pay 1500 because I like you'. He cajoled

I insisted on giving him 1000. He made to leave, then I remembered that he knew where they sell those blasted computer and their software, so I’d better go with him. It’s not like as if it’s my money sef.

'Oya wait na, nah wah for you oh, so you don dey go be that? You no try at all' I hissed.

'See aunty, God know say I don try for you, nobody fit carry you for that amount from Iponri here to ikeja'.

'Comot jare! Before we go, abeg nah beg I dey beg u, I no shako. I never born, I never marry sef, and I wan do the two before I kpeme. So Oga biko, sofrey do me jejely for express. Abeg'.

'Aunty no wahala. I be professional, he don tey whey I don drive okada for Lagos, no be today at all but you funny oh, me sef never marry ooo and I won born pikin too’.

If that was meant to reassure me or make me feel safe, it didn't. I was sweating badly but I don't see a way out of my predicament. As soon as the bike moved onto the lagos/ikorodu expressway, I didn't waste time chanting psalms and my almost forgotten Hail Mary’s from a catechism class that am almost always mysteriously absent from.

In as much as I tried to enjoy the wind hitting my face and rustling my hair. The fear of heavy duty vehicle and crazy bikers is the beginning of wisdom for me. As soon as the bike man realized that every time he moved close to any heavy duty vehicle, I crush my well-proportioned chest onto his back and begin on any psalm I haven't yet read. Your guess is as good as mine as to what my biker kept on doing.

He was enjoying himself with the 'no copy but paste' I was doing to his back with my chest. To think that someone is even getting any enjoyment out of my misfortune isn’t making me any less annoyed. I was scared to let go though, try as much as I could I couldn’t get my pillows off the lecher’s back. I wasn't happy but I soon discovered there is nothing I could do about it. What a trying day this was getting to be for me.

Wow!!

What a write up! Good sense of humour coupled with just the right level of suspense!

Well done Tomeseen. Can't wait for your update girl

ROTFLOL...omg, straight up hilarious. Tomeseen pls post part2

For not uploading tonite. This is my judgement. i'll av d full update before noon 2mao. Sorry for disappointing tonite.

...............................................................................


We got to our destination and he pointed out some guys to me, 'nah those guys dey sell the software'

'Ehn-hen,' I said climbing down from d bike at last with shaky legs, 'which one abi nah all of them?'

‘Nah all of them nah, 'wey carry suitcase', just give them that paper, them go give you the software. Abeg do quick make we dey go, he be like say rain wan fall oh'.

Great! All I need to finish off my bad day is getting soaked. Am not looking forward to it neither am I looking forward to the return trip back to the office. Chimo!! AYAMATANGA today ooooo!!!

I moved closer to one in a blue t-shirt told him I needed some software, in the process I’d handed over my list.
He looked it over and said 'well, nah two of them I get now, but don't worry I’ll get the rest for you. Charles, come come, you get this software'.
The guy he called peered in and said 'Nah dis three I get'.
Which happens to be one, because blue shirt had two already.

'Ok, how do I get this remaining two ehn?' I looked at both of them woefully.

'That one no be problem now, Make I enter inside go find am for you' Charles said.
He took my list and went inside (computer village).

The sky isn't happy with me too, dark menacing clouds just kept gathering. What if he's unable to get the remaining software I thought? I really need to be gone from here before the sky starts weeping. Here’s another thought for myself, what if he doesn’t find the remaining software? Is there another market around here? Or do I get to bike the length and breadth of Lagos looking for some blasted software for a company I sincerely believe am not beholden to?
Oh no! No!! No!!! I hope it doesn't get to that. Else I’d better start looking for another company that will put up with me for my Industrial Attachment, because me Deborah is not going to go looking for software in the rain'. Lai lai lai lai, kojo rara.

Few minutes later, Charles re-appeared with the two remaining software. The first three were put together.

I heaved a sigh of relief and thought, this is not so bad after all and maybe I won’t get any more bad surprise today. Udeme had already jinxed today for me I guess, but maybe am due for some good turn-around sometime soon before I start crying from anger. Little did I know I was jumping my gun. Today nah today and today isn’t through with me just yet.

'How much them come be now?' I asked my two Samaritans.

'Aunty nah just 3500 naira' Charles replied.

'Wetin! You no dey look face? Abegi chei he no gree 2,500 nii, abi nah because I put corporate head to toe no mean say I no know the price wey dem they sell am now?' I bargained.

I could actually pay what they are requesting for and no, I don’t know how much they are sold, but being an Ibadan babe. My default system says barter and haggle like a fish woman over any and everything I buy.

'Ok, no problem. Bring am' blue shirt says

I hesitated, 'that was fast, Maybe I should go lower’ I thought.

I was about to start re-negotiations when the sky rumbled and groaned.

Crap! This rain means business and the bike man was starting to fidget and lose patience, time to go.

I handed over the money, grabbed my merchandise and we took off. Halfway back, it began drizzling and before you could blink, it started pouring in torrents. We drove into a filling station to wait out the rain and to add insult upon injury I finally did get wet. Shior.
For want of a better thing to do, we got talking. He got to know I was JJC doing an I.T stint in Lagos and that am a local Ibadan babe. He must be feeling sorry for not hiking my fare well. Unknown to me, a plan started taking roots in his head. Playing out that plan was what made me erupt in anger like a volcano.

The fact that I never set foot in Lagos before doesn't make me local now does it? But I guess (lasgidians) will beg to disagree. What do I know than to play with okoto abi?

....................................................................................


The rain stopped finally after two hours and we continued our journey.

'Aunty, no vex oh, abeg shit dey do me. Please allow me branch for my friend’s house wey dey near this area, I no go tey at all. He don tey wey the thing don dey hook me, abeg I no fit hold am again'.

Which kain wahala be dis one now, chei make I talk say make person no shit again niii, I thought to myself, if I had known any better I would have allowed his shit hook him to death but am no seer, I couldn’t see that far into the future. I don't like this new development at all, besides its 3:15pm and I recollect vividly MD saying I should be back by noon. Now rain took two hours but then I am late whichever way I look at it. I might as well let the poor man stop and do his business jare. Big mistake there, I later decided.

'Ok, but do quick abeg, I don late already' I grumbled.

(and to reward me for my kind-heartedness, the silly twit took back roads, bypassed my office situated at Iponri and took me into Apapa Wharf and royally welcomed me into a guest house, and to think today couldn’t get any worse.)

He parked in front of a bungalow and told me to come inside, since I couldn't wait outside for him to do his business.

He’s right I suppose, I couldn’t verily stand outside now can I? I followed him in and straight off noticed that I was in a reception area. 'What is going on here?’ I asked myself while looking around surreptitiously ‘I don't like this at all, where am I? This is starting to smell funny'. I picked a sofa close to the door, sat down on the tip and was very alert to my surroundings.

This is starting to look like a kidnapping maybe for ritual attempt (wasn't even thinking rape, cause I thought that would be ridiculous) to me. They/them won't find it easy if any maga starts anything funny here, all the while I was thinking ‘just my luck, it’s only a combination of Lagos, Udeme and me that could make a totally bad day go to hell in a hand basket.

My heart continued with a loud boom that could only come from fear and the tiny remaining part of me that wasn’t already paralysed with fear wondered how no one else could hear the KABOOM my heart was making and the silly mantra ‘from frying pan to fire’ that kept itself on a loop in my mind.

‘Deborah you must be an idiot for going inside this building, anything that happens to you, is of your own doing because you should have known better’. I carefully detached my spectacles and got ready to use the eye-holder as a mini weapon. Then I overheard him say short time to the receptionist, paid and was given a key.

I have to digress here to let you know how I knew what the term short time means. I was with a course-mate and friend who lived off campus one evening to read. We came outside her bungalow for fresh air and well, there was a bar/guestroom in front of her bungalow.

Somehow she started talking about the bad lifestyle of some married women in Ibadan. ‘Most of these women are married women but here they are fornicating’.

'They are having a harmless drink, how and when did you see and know that they fornicate' I replied.

'Silly mummy's girl they are going inside to have short time sex, and then they come back outside to drink to their shame. Dirty women’ my friend spat.

'Short time sex' I say, clearly confused at this point, ‘what is short time sex? I mean is there anything like short time or long time sex. Please explain yourself ooo'.

Then she proceeded to tell me everything i don't want to know about short-term sex et al, and no am not telling you what she said that night long ago, but I was horrified. She is a proud lasgidian, lives at Allen Avenue Ikeja too, so she knows what she's saying, I think. Now back to my story before I start another.

The bike man came towards me after collecting the keys to a room and asked me, pleasantly I should say.

'chei make them give you anything like drinks, peppersoup abi u go like eat, food dey ooo?'

And give you the opportunity to drug me abi, uhn uhn buddy, no way in hell, earth or heaven is that going to ever happen. I was no longer thinking rituals, I was thinking this maga wan rape me ooo.

'No, am fine. Thank you' I calmly replied even though Mount Vesuvius had nothing on the anger brewing in me.

I wanted him to put his foot in his mouth first, so I’d be justified with any rash action on my part. But then did I tell the madman that I was hungry or thirsty.

'Ok, no problem' he said and made as if to go, but came back and started stuttering

'ehm, you see... Actually...you know, ehm make you... as in come inside...and ehm since...as in...erhm actually I mean say....*coughs*, summons more courage and raced through the rest
'na only you siddon here and he no good, my friend no go like am, so follow me inside'.

'And why is that' I asked in the most unfriendly voice I could manage.

All the while I was thinking 'somebody hold me back, this twerp has done it, finally managed to put his foot in his mouth, what utmost nonsense...’

'I am not interested in leaving this room, where is your so called friend now as well because i'd like to see your partner-in-crime? As a matter of fact, I’d like to go now'.

'Hin no dey house now, na wetin him sister tell me be that.'

'Him sister?! Are you alright?!! You dey MAD?!!! , I shouted.

‘You hear me so, madness dey para for yah head big time, weyrey. Wetin i do you wey make you carry me come here, you come dey talk like person wey crocodile chop him face comot, Oloshi, omo ale jati jati. Just wait I dey come, just one minute'

I went towards the receptionist and asked her if she knew my mad bike-man and she shook her head ‘No’

‘Ok, where am I now please’

'Apapa wharf side' she replied.

'how I go take enter eric moore for iponri area?'

'Just take a bike outside’.

'Thank you, God bless you sister'. I finished.

All this while, the bike man was begging and insisting that I had just misconstrued his intentions.

'Aunty, I swear I no carry you come do short time now, nah shit I come shit for here. True'

'For your mind chei?, Because I tell you say I be JJC, you carry me come where I no know, for your mind abi, you think say I no go get yah gimmicks abi. Na JJC I be, I no stupid join. Upon all the copy and paste my chest and your back do reach ikeja, no do you abi, you wan Zap toto join, anuofia! na God go punish you!! Punish all the female members of your family join wetin you do me today!!!

In fact Udeme, God go punish you too. Because nah your fault wey make all this happen to me today. You wan shit for friend house, come turn to wetin i wan drink for guest house, nah that shit go kill you useless buffon, ole(thief), unscrupulous element, porcupine, tolotolo(turkey), oloriburuku(bad head), weyrey(mad man), ewu(goat), alangba(lizard).

I was so mad I had resorted to calling him animal names once I had exhausted my limited vocabulary of swear words. Don’t blame me, mother doesn't swear and the few ones I knew, I’d picked up in school and from peers.

One of the boys in the room, probably the bartender with lots of pimples on his face came closer and said 'So you no get agreement with your ashawo before you carry am come here, you don dey craze for head oh'.

Lawd! Have!! mercy!!! Did someone just call and in effect label me *ashawo* sweet holy canatra in the air (don't ask me what that means, i don't know). I must be dreaming, this can’t be happening to me for Christ sake. My eyes had practically flown out of their sockets.

'Who be ashawo! Answer me!! Abi you too dey mad join this idiot!!! I shrieked.

I was past shouting at this juncture, I was screaming my head off. I was so mad I wanted to just start jumping up and down from the mad adrenaline coursing through my veins. I leaped on the bike man and swiped his face with my nails, I wasn't called hawk nails by friends for nothing. Somebody is begging for injury and I am determined to oblige.

After the damage caused to my person, the chit is getting off easy. His shirt was already in shreds by now but I kept swiping, screaming, biting, snapping and shrieking. I was past 'sorry aunty no vex'. I was now intent on murder. Everybody’s stance was now 'crazy woman, keep off her. She's very very dangerous'.

'She no be ashawo oh, nah my customer she be oh' the bike man shouted amidst pleading while shielding himself from me trying to tear off his face totally.

'CUSTOMER' pimple face taunted, pronouncing the word customer in such a way that left little doubt to everybody just what kind of customer he meant.

I’d just about had it with pimple face, I left the bike man and started cussing out pimple face.

'Abeg no put my own join, me i no dey look face oh, I no want ashawo wahala oh' pimple face said sarcastically.

For a funny moment there, he actually reminded me of Udeme back at the office, he is determined to call me ashawo and from the skeptical look on the faces of everyone, they're all thinking the same thing, though singing a different tune of 'madam no vex'.

I was shaking badly and on the verge of crying, but I’ll be dammed if I cry in front of these people. I spat on the bike man, gathered my tattered pride and left the room.

Continue pls...

...............................................................................................


The good thing from that episode was I hadn't yet given the mad biker his fare. So no biggie, I got on a new bike for 500naira back to the office. I entered MD's office very late. It was 4:30pm already.

'Sir, this is the software' I handed out the discs to my MD.

'You are late’ M.D snapped. ‘I needed these five hours ago. Didn't I tell you I needed this 12 noon?' he continued with displeasure all over his face to who cares to see.

Me?! Asko!! My own annoyance sef pass, abi him sef no dey look face. I kept mum, I was still simmering with anger and I wasn't too far from tears. Besides rain no fall for eric moore nii, abi him no hear? wen nah inside padded full air-conditioned room him dey. How he wan take know say rain fall, abi wetin my eye don see today all because of five blasted software. Wetin dey even vex me pass anytime I tanda for him front, nah the salary wey he no gree give me, that tiny alawe remembrance is not doing any good thing to my blood pressure still.

I was dismissed with an annoyed wave.

I was very much past caring joor. 'No be only you dey vex oga, my own vex sef pass… Ooouunnnppppeeeee'.

Udeme sits closer to the door into our workstation, so it’s no surprise we met at the door. I gave a loud hiss and rolled my eyes mightily I actually gave myself headache to add to my woes, made to brush past him, but he held out his hands and stopped me.

‘Bose, he don do, no vex you hear, shebi you don go come back’. Udeme started cajoling

'Abegi, I no get your time and I’d rather be left alone. I’ve got a bad headache, bad blood pressure and raging emotions all brought on by the job you created for me today, so thanks but please let me be.'

Even the Bose wey him call me no do me anything. I don tire to vex for someone who is adamant about calling me Bose every now and then.

'No vex nah, I dey busy that time wey MD talk say make I go buy the thing for am, nah him make me tell her say you fit go buy am. Udeme continued walking me back to my workstation.

'So, nah me dey jobless bah' I queried

'No nah, but nah beg I dey beg you now, abi you want make I prostrate. You know say you be my yori-yori and if you vex for me, no more lunch for me for this office again'.

I happen to almost always make his lunch with mine in the office mini-kitchen, not a good incentive for me to forgive him but it’s probably good enough for him to consider prostrating. What I’d like that instance is for him to stop chirping into my ears, my head is aching still.

'No worry I no vex, I just tire' I said sitting down and willing him to walk back to his station. I just want to forget everything.

'Ok, how much you buy am' he asked confident I had forgiven him.

Not likely though, I just didn’t want to talk anymore.

'2500naira' I replied

'WHAT! Udeme said in a loud whisper. 'All the disc no suppose pass 1k now, for where you buy am?'

Ok, maybe my anger hadn't completely left because I’d started seeing red again. 'WHY ME' I raged within me, wetin I carry baff this morning, abi nah who I wake up see sef? Nah only me dey office niii?

'Udeme look at me, I started with an ascending whisper that spoke volumes of how annoyed I really am. I carry black Jesus beg you! He don do for today!! No be Ikeja you say make I go and that’s exactly where I went. Hiiaa!!! Odikwa serious today ooooh...confess now now o, who send you give me today omo calabar? I offend you nii abi wetin i do you sef?

Udeme was incredulous 'those disc sell for 250 naira max each, in some cases you'd get them for 150. So at most they shouldn't be more than 1250naira maximum'.

'Look Udeme, am in a mad bad mood right now. For starters you didn't tell me how much the discs are worth, also you know full well that I don't know the difference between a computer and its children or bastards. Now please give me a break because I don't want to hear about software till I hopefully leave this office back to Ibadan with my sanity intact, shogbo?’

‘Boooosssseeeeeeeee' he shot right back.

Well our good audience started laughing again. I really tried knowing why Bose gets them laughing every time. Wasn't successful knowing why? Twas a well-kept secret.

I placed my head on my desk and started crying for real this time.

'Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' the extension on Udeme's desk was ringing.

'Hello’.

‘Yes sir'.

‘Ok sir’.

'That was the MD, saying I should drag my butt over to his office, pray this has nothing to do with you' Udeme said and left the office.

What did he mean by that I thought, sitting straight up like I’d been touched with electricity. I cleaned my tear-stained face and did a fast check at my time, it says 5:00pm. Aha! Whaddya know, something is finally working for me.

I grabbed my bag and left for home. Better safe than sorry, am not about to sit around and wait around for anymore shiit today. Yessire... I've had my fill of it for today, so thanks I’ll pass.

.............................................................................................



EPILOGUE

Just so you know what happened after i escaped for home, 3 of the disc i bought was bad/fake. Pfffftt, my head don catch them . I care less jooor. They should have known better than sending me. Udeme had to go back to ikeja to get MD new ones from his pockets .

He tried putting it on me the following day at the office, but my stars were re-alligned just right that day besides i made sure i changed my bathing soap. The MD was having none of it, said he should have better judgement next time. I couldn't have said it better.

Besides you can't fire somebody you don't pay now, can he? I guess not. He figured a query would be a waste of his time, so he didn't bother. Smart man. My nemesis got the query, suffice to say my nemesis had it coming. So I-WAS-FINALLY-AT-HAPPINESS.

THE END...

P.S. Fiction..... 10%
Exaggeration..... 20%

P.P.S. Honest to God, am computer literate and had a (B.Sc computer science) from a good federal university here in Nigeria. I always get my softwares from friends in class and never had the occassion of ever buying one, ever.

Which accounts for why i was swindled at ikeja. I guess thats the fiction in my story. As to my exaggerations, let your imaginations run wild too. I would be taking the fun out of the story now, don't you think?.

Am not a writer. I just love this section more than any other on nairaland. Infact, this section convinced me to stop being a guest and be a member. Everybody here rocks. You all are wonderful brilliant people, which is just the right sort of people i associate with. So please please forgive any writing rule i broke, but be sweet enough to point them out to me. Thanks much.

Who cares whether this piece of writing is fiction or not??

This is one of the best piece of creative writing, I've come across at this section! It's so damn good!

Forgive my swearing girl, but you've got raw talent. Your storylines flow seamlessly with the beautiful plots you weave. I rarely find good pieces here, that keep me captivated as I get bored easily...but yours is something else, girl.

Kudos to you and never stop writing. Well done

Who cares if u exagerated! dis is one of d best write up i've ever read! pls keep it up.

@ Efe, thanks so much. Your comment did boost my flagging confidence.

Sugarbabe_kemi@:
Who cares if u exagerated! dis is one of d best write up i've ever read! pls keep it up.

that i'll do. Thanks sugarbabe.

Very lovely and creative piece! You did a very good job, Tomeseen. If you have the time, let your imagination run wide and you can develop a full story from it, perhaps get it publshed and make yourself some cool cash.
I am an editor and I am offering you a full service of professional editing for free, if you ever decide to turn this into a novel.
All the best, girl!

Wao! Is this the same tosin I know. U never know what this can fetch u. Its your call, pls keep it up. We are proud of u. Eweje

@mortee, like i said it was more real than fiction, if i ever write a complete fiction, i'll be looking around for you. Besides am in the fashion business and av got my hands full anyway. I wrote dt in my spare time which is few and far between. I don't know if i love writing more than sewing, but i daydream which i think is a good pre-requisite to writing. i'll dedicate more of my time to writing more then. Thanks a lot.

@Eweje, am humbled. Thanks too
P.S. Am still the same Tosin u know, never changed and hoping to never will. Jeez, imagine me with all the fun leeched outta me. *i shudder*

ROTFLOL @ the entire piece..."I carry black Jesus beg you" ...omg I have laughed well today.

Fantastic story telling. I second efemena, you got raw talent. Please keep writing, I'm already a fan. Godbless!

Great piece... More anointing to your brain

[quote author=Tomeseen]@mortee, like i said it was more real than fiction, if i ever write a complete fiction, i'll be looking around for you. Besides am in the fashion business and av got my hands full anyway. I wrote dt in my spare time which is few and far between. I don't know if i love writing more than sewing, but i daydream which i think is a good pre-requisite to writing. i'll dedicate more of my time to writing more then. Thanks a lot.

Alright. Just try as much as possible to write few lines in your spare time. I have a very great passion for editing and proofreading, but I have suddenly developed this love for sewing and I am planning to explore it soon. Maybe I won't edit free for you again after all - you teach me few stitches and I'll edit few pages for you, like that, like that...lol

@ mortee, dude you gotta pay for any stitches i do for you. Ehm as for fiction i'll start another one on monday. Already working on it though. So if you read and like it, we'll go from there.

@JeSoul, thanks so much (i figured since he's negro, he'll understand black jesus language faster than the jew. )