Dirty Ernie was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, & make you fat."

Ernie replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Ernie answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business!"

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Dirty Ernie goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

Ernie waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers:

"All right, , what is your multi-syllable word?"

Ernie says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, , that's a mouthful".

Ernie says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a Mouth Gig".

__________________________

Dirty Ernie was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Ernie , that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Ernie thinks for a bit, then says, "Urinate, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Dirty Ernie.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, , just fucking beautiful!'"

Sincerely d ernie jokes are below xpectation while d last on is stale.

Sincerely d ernie jokes are below xpectation while d last on is stale.

thanks man. . . . . i know u will always say the truth from the base of your as5. . . . . coz that's where your brain is. . . .

maybe if u stand up. . . . . .then u can think str8

Xpress urself pal, i know truth hurts.

hmmmm

there kool somehow

helllo!

@ miggs

truth no fit hurt me. . . . . it strenghtens me. . . . .but not this kind of truth from u


how u doing babe?

i ll keep my comments cos i want to leave long like dirty ernies father.

so kronk no comments[b] [/b]

Nice jokes man, they re kool

nice ones,

lola whts up