This did not happen to anyone i know but i read something like this in a novel and i couldn't help wondering what a Nigerian man would do under such circumstances. so guys - what would you do?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

Yes from the guys please. Especially the "religious" ones.  I would like to know their views too.   Especially being a Sunday, since most have just come back from their prayer mats.

_{Where are these Pharisees and Sadducees on Nairaland?}

marry her, give up the child for adoption.

Hell no @ 4HIm if you have the child you keep it. If you dont want to keep it dont have it. Imagine discovering your a product of rape and as soon as you were born you were rejected and given away. Child is innocent in all this

4Him:

marry her, give up the child for adoption.

ehrrrrrrm, did you go to church today? ohhh, i get it. you mean to go to the 7'o clock mass?

LadyT:

Hell no @ 4HIm if you have the child you keep it. If you don't want to keep it don't have it. Imagine discovering your a product of rape and as soon as you were born you were rejected and given away. Child is innocent in all this

LadyT i'm being practical here instead of the romanticised half-truths threads like this are likely to induce.
If i iwere the product of rape of course i'd be angry that my "parent" did not keep me but thankfully i'm not.

Be realistic, ur wife being raped is a huge psychological blow that if not that i was already commited to marrying her could have led to a break up.
Keeping that child wont help us as a couple. . . ur wife will carry that emotional hurt for as long as she sees that kid, for me it will be a reminder of something stolen from me, the priviledge of being the father of my wife's first child.

Seriously if the pregnancy is not advanced i'd have it terminated.

your being selfish what if she wants to keep the baby!!! Im being realistic you cant even be sure you will want to touch her again after shes been violated. or what if she doesnt want sex for a very long time. remember you will see her grow with the pregnancy can you live with that?

LadyT:

your being selfish what if she wants to keep the baby!!! I'm being realistic you can't even be sure you will want to touch her again after shes been violated. or what if she doesnt want sex for a very long time. remember you will see her grow with the pregnancy can you live with that?

no madame, when i love a woman enough to give her a ring and call her my wife i certainly wont chuck her away for what was not her fault. My conscience wont let me be.

whether the baby shld be kept or not is a decision that is not hers alone to make. I will have to be the unofficial father to the kid, she has to consider whether i want to support such a child.
Its not about being selfish, its about being sincere enough to know that rape can do irreparable damage to a marriage.

She doesnt want sex for a long time? that can be dealt with. I'm not a sex freak and can do without it as long as it takes for her to heal.

Lady T dear, why the HELL would the woman want to keep such a baby? What kind of demented disrespect to a marriage is that?

She'd rather keep a reminder of rape as her first born child over one with her fiance? I'd leave such a woman too, Ew.

my point is ( to terminate) God forgive. your on a highway to hell if you expect her carry the child to full term then give it up!

D-reloaded:

She'd rather keep a reminder of rape as her first born child over one with her fiance? I'd leave such a woman too, Ew.

my point in a nutshell.

LadyT:

my point is ( to terminate) God forgive. your on a highway to hell if you expect her carry the child to full term then give it up!

She's on a faster tracked highway to spinsterhood if she expects me to father that child and treat it as my own.

Stop reading these cheesy romance novels.  

Dafidi, I think Lady T's problem is with you suggesting adoption the first time, I think she supports terminating it instead which I agree with.

I think such a woman will be scarred and bleeped up for life if she carrys the child full term  then give it away she will know its alive and out there.  I just believe if you cant care for it dont have it.

fine. I only suggest adoption if the pregnancy is too far gone like say 5 months.
If its just a few weeks then commot the thing straight away.

_subscribing

@ Topic

To be honest, this is tough.

But abortion is not an option, based on my religious beliefs.

putting the child up for adoption is not an option, cos I cant withstand the thought of other children not expiriencing the joy of childhood with their parents, _{in the name of motherless babies homes and house maids.} not to talk of personally sentencing another child to such horrific expirience.

the child is definitly going to have psycological effects on me n my wifey,
but my love 4 d child might be my little way of paying back God`s unconditional love for me.

the child will grow up and be an integral part of my family. he will be what d yoruba`s call "arole". the heir apparent.
u would never know he is not mine, cos I guess he will look like his mom.

so I believe.

noetic:

u would never know he is not mine, because I guess he will look like his mom.

its good to fantasize, what if the child is a spitting image of the rapist who happens to be ur relation?

LOL@fantasize,

4him people do it they care for the child if you ask me they are seriously strong. I couldnt do it,

Gosh what a hard decision to make, if you ask me i'd probably give the child away

If i was a guy, it would be really hard for me to take on board.
I dont know if i would support an abortion but if we did decide to keep the baby, then its gonna be real hard cause that child would remind u of the wrong constantly.

But then what happens when the child is old enough and finds out he was a product of rape, then thats just another saga.

Oga o - i just dont know.

You'd seriously gain weight and go thru all the madness that comes with carrying a child just to give it away?

Why would people even put theselves thru all that for an unwanted child?

God forbid but its abortion straight ahead.

4Him:

its good to fantasize, what if the child is a spitting image of the rapist who happens to be your relation?

then thats a different scenario.

if u expect me to abort d child, thats not an option like I said, or to leave my grl cos of dat.
It is good to hope for d best always, but at least consider d worst. in other words I will stick with my grl.

note finally that, that relation of mine will never get 1,000,000 miles near that child.

the child is a gift 4m God, who is to serve his own purpose in life.
is that a reality u cant live with?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, . . . . . . . .

ifyalways:

God forbid but its abortion straight ahead.

tRoOE:

This is a situation that doesn't need any thinking

If that happens to me , I will abort that baby because why bring a bastard child into this world, a child I will can or will ever love. (am sure God will understand)

In the future the child might became a rapiest since himself, abi i lie, the child is a curse jare

I don't think my husband will want to be a father to a rape child!!!!!!!God Forbid

D-reloaded:

You'd seriously gain weight and go through all the madness that comes with carrying a child just to give it away?

Why would people even put theselves through all that for an unwanted child?

Just to play devil's advocate to the ladies in the house.

What if a seer told you that this child resulting from rape would be your only child to come out of you in your life time or you would lose your life if you got rid of the child.  What would you ladies do?  The men have the right to do what they want to do.

What would you do ladies? If you had this revelation in advance.


Thinking. . . . . . . . . .

Seconded

a seer ko, a winch ni.

If the God I believe in would allow such horrible consequences, I wont serve Him anymore and happily DIE.

I will take it as that. The child will still be removed


Anyway thankfully in civilized countries, when a rape case is reported, the first thing they do is a rape kit which involves STD tests AND the morning after pill therefore the baby will be gone within hrs after the horrible situatiom

noetic:

note finally that, that relation of mine will never get 1,000,000 miles near that child.

Keep dreaming . . . if your relation has spent his time in jail for the crime and now returns at 50 to claim his son what happens?
What if the son wants to know his father, rape or not?

I hope you guys realize that when some people eventually get married---there are some rapists that would be better than most of the fellows that may be unfortunate to be the spouses of some ladies. I am just thinkin' many women have died in the hands of their spouses and I am sure most wished that being raped was a piece of cake compared to the kinds of rape suffered at the hands of their spouses.

_{Just thinking. . . . . . . . . . .Who know the future?}


My prayer is that that should never be the case,  . . . .but. . . . . .things deey happen!

The advantages and disadvantages of being "pro-choice".  You can never make a decision for another.


_{Shakin' ma head. . . . . .} 

you're pro choice as well AJ