Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories - Religion (12) - Nairaland
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| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 2:36pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
frosbel: Okay okay, i will address these issues and show you how hollow they are later when I'm in the full mood for competitive debates. Right now, I am taking you seriously and willing to listen to you. But i want to know your plan for this thread. You asked for our stories, we gave you, what next in your agenda, before we proceed. Cos up till now on this thread I have been taking you seriously. I want to know if i should continue like that or we switch to our usual wrestling mode, Monsieur Frosbel. Cheers. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 2:45pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
[quote author=cyrexx] Please get into the full mood soonest  But i want to know your plan for this thread. You asked for our stories, we gave you, what next in your agenda, before we proceed. Well, my plans for this thread have almost been derailed by requesting for a separate thread on the same topic. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 2:48pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
What a pity!  The thread's gone south, pretty much what I expected even though I hoped against hope it wouldn't. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 3:00pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
Ihedinobi: What a pity! Why? Were you trying to understand or convert atheists? |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 3:10pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
Sir Frosbel, Okay, please forgive me. I really want to hear what you have to say about the questions i raised earlier. Please. I know you have something that other religionists dont have. I'm serious and I promise to take you serious. But you should know that you are responsible for the derailment due to your prolonged delay of action and your engagement with derailers. Pleaeeeese. Dont give up on this thread. If not for my sake, for the sake of unseen and unknown guests who had been folowing this thread. Just check out the number of views. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 3:26pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
cyrexx: Sir Frosbel, okay , let's stay on track. Your questions will be answered I promise. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 3:37pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
frosbel: okay, then |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by ezme(m): 8:01pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
@frosbel, when would you begin to address the issues that led to these deconversions? I'm particularly interested in this Mrs Enotie Ezekiel's story, she raised some questions that would shake the belief system of any open-minded Christian. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:32pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
And here's another deconversion story from Jacqueline Hadley. She deconverted around the same time as I, early 2012. The story is found on her blog here http://embracingtheworldasitis..in/2013/01/my-search-for-truth-inevitable.html?m=1 Christian pastor-turned atheist Dan Barker said this regarding his exodus from Christianity: “What drove me into the pulpitwas to know the truth and speak the truth, and that's the same thing that drove me out.”That's exactly what happened to me. Ever since I was a small child, I had a passion for truth. Iremember when I was young I would perform mock church services for my mom. I would preach my own sermons and get grape juice and bread out of the refrigerator to use for communion. I remember that the sermons I preached were about exposing heresy and preaching truth. I wanted to bea pastor and used to even stand in the pulpit of our church while my mom washed communion ware after serviceswere over. I would imagine myself teaching the word of God to a church full of people. As far back as I can remember Iwas an advocate against heresy. Even as a child, I would get irritated when Bibles would claim that Jonah got swallowed by an actual whale when the reality of it was it was supposed to just be a largefish. I was an intellectual, bright child who loved to learn.Excelling in academics came easy to me and I rose above my peers both in height and grade level. I had many dreams when I waslittle: to be an archeologist, a teacher, a pastor, an author, and a newscaster. Being a mother wasn’t really one of mychildhood dreams, although I loved playing with my baby dolls. When it came to the arts I was a passionate dreamer who loved to perform and put on plays and choreograph dance numbers for my family. Iloved to read and soak in new knowledge. Since I can remember, all I wanted was to become a grown-up. I loved my parents’ friends and found that most people my own age were not like me. Like many people experience, my childhood exposure to the Christian god was not a positive one. While I loved him very much while things were going well in my family and used to make up my own musical praise songs to him on my tape recorder, the abuse, lies and adultery that tore my family apart became, to me, a reflection of God’s allowance ofevil. Moreover, it was believed in my family to have been God’s will that things happened as they did. After myfamily fell apart when I was thirteen, I decided this Christianbusiness was a total farce. But somewhere in my heart I still believed. When I was sixteen I still knewsomewhere inside of me that Jesus was the answer, althoughmy inclinations towards being bisexual kept growing strongeras the months progressed. I remember writing in my diary the words “Overcome all thingsto please God!” But it wasn’t working. I even tried to read my Bible and all I could find were some statements about me not being around anyone ifI have my menstrual cycle. In a fit of anger, I threw the Bible back in my closet. *to be continued shortly*
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| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:36pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
* Jacqueline deconversion story continued* At the start of my eighteenth birthday I was an alcohol recovery program due to unresolved childhood wounds. I had tried to kill myself, I was powerless over my alcohol intake, and I couldn’t stop crying. That’s when this recovery program told me I needed to find a higher power to pray to. So I started praying first to a cloud, secondly to an unnamed spirit in the sky, and, lastly, to the Christian god of my youth. You see, it had been anger keeping me away from the idea of him. It wasn’t that I truly didn’t believe. By the time I was twenty I had been attending church with mymom. At many different churches I would pray and ask Jesus to come into my heart but noticed nothing ever happened from that. In the fall of that year a lady prayed with me to commit my life to Christ. As a victim of childhood abuse Ididn’t like being vulnerable in front of anyone so while we prayed together and she laid hands on my forehead I cried and wept like a little baby. Thiswoman was a tongue-talker which meant she had that meditative voo-doo crap downpact. I felt a transference of something when she touched me and thought it was the power of God. I still struggled whether or not Jesus was really God. And one day my mom told me that I’d continue to be confused until I got in the Bible every day to read it. So that’s what I did. I was never a half-hearted person when it came to gettinga job done. I gave my all in the alcohol recovery program, I would give my all here. So every day, after having my time of prayers to God, I wouldread the Bible. I had such a thirst for knowledge that I would read it every morning, sometimes for over two hours a day. My real personality and identity was still somewhere out there in the world, grievingthe loss of my abusive dad and rockin’ out to Korn and Bud Light, but these things are considered sinful in Christianity.If you’re like me and you read the Bible so diligently and listen to pastors and it is abundantly clear that your old life should be considered dead. Moreover, the Bible says to consider it dead and press forthtowards those things that are ahead. I made Jesus my life because I didn’t know how to live. I couldn’t function as a normal girl in my 20’s, everything scared me, I was terrified of intimacy, scared to kiss a boy, and with all kinds of deficits in my spirit and heart that made me need a savior. I knew I needed God. I knew I couldn’t function without him. Throughout this prayer and Bible relationship with God andgiving him everything that wasin my heart each morning, I began my climb to be “holy” and a better person. My passion for further “truth” led me to become Charismatic and to believe in the ability to speak in tongues. But as I started to really deal with myself, the bold little rock and roll girl came flooding back and, when I was twenty-two, I started speaking in tongues only to leave the church months later. *to be continued again, stay tuned* |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:38pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
*continued* I had so many issues with things that happened in my childhood. I had anger, unforgiveness, rage, and depression. And the thing about being Christian is that you know you can’t have sex with anyone unless you’re married so that makes you long for a husband. It’s sick, I know. Fast-forwarding to quite a few years later I was divorced from an abusive foreigner. And my passion for Jesus and the Bible continued. By this time I believed I didn’t need God just for a better life, but because I was a “wretched sinner”. I had grown to understand my mother’s plight of misery and settling in her marriage, for I had been an abused wife myself in my own and had stayed in it to please God and be a submissive wife. I now knew that I needed Jesus to be holy because I could not be good on my own. I really believed that it was he who gave my life joy, healing, happiness, and made it worth living. When I was twenty-four, my search for a deeper understanding of God and the Bible continued and I became aPentecostal, believing that tongues and the water baptismin Jesus’ name defined the born-again experience. My intimacy with the Christian godwas constant, prayer was like breathing to me, I fasted weekly, I loved him so much I laid on the carpet of my own home to worship him, and I longed for the rapture. I was socommitted to his cause and heartbeat that I spent all my spare time evangelizing, chewing on the deep meat of the written word, attending late-night prayer meetings at my church that went into the morning hours, and denying myself all ungodliness in order to perfect holiness. Fast-forwarding to when I was thirty-one, the horrific legalismin Pentecostalism led me to study the Scriptures more diligently. I dug into concordances, lexicons, expository dictionaries, and studied Greek-to-English and Hebrew-to-English wordage intricately. That was when I came to a deep understanding of the lack of understanding Pentecostals (and many other denominations) had between the old and new covenants between the Christian god and mankind. I also learned that many of the standards imposed by Pentecostals were neglecting the supposed dispensation of grace that was promised to have been released into the world after the sacrifice and ascension of Christ. I was always suffering back then but I just did the good Christian thing and always"offered it up to Jesus". A lurking of feeling unsettled hadbeen with me for some time. I was always the "girl at the altar", praying and weeping with praise and laying prostrate on the carpet worshiping God. I babbled in tongues constantly to be elevated to a higher realm where I did not feel the negative emotions or sorrow of my natural realm. It was always there. I remember how one time a prophet at our church named Margo told me,"Jacqueline, I have never seen anyone else love the Lord like you do. God is already pleased with you. But you go out there and worship like you never have before." I was always the one in front standing with my arms raised and shouting for God to reveal his glory. I wanted that more than my own oxygen. But something was always very wrong and I could never figure out what it was. I knew the way Christians had always treated me during my hardships was not right. I knewchurches went on tradition, text-book, and didn't have the insight they claimed. I knew I didn't want to be like them. Mytolerance at different churches was wearing thin. For years it had been a vicious cycle of separating from them, going wild, settling down, then returning to church only to have the same process keep repeating itself numerous times. My ability to cope and thrive at church had been wearing thin for some time. I had many moments of not going to church anymore and being myself. When I was thirty in 2010 that was one of those years I was determined to let myself just be. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:42pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
*continued* When I was thirty-one and hadfinally stopped going to church,I was then able to survey all the church abuse I had experienced. It all had a common denominator: it was all at the “tongues-talking” churches. I did extensive research on this and soon discovered that what the folks in the Bible called speaking in tongues was not what the modern tongues talkers were doing. I quickly learned that this jibber-jabber of modern Christians had its roots back to the Azusa Street Revival when a white supremacist named Charles Parham instigated a so-called revival in which occultists, mediums, and hypnotics crashed and brought their abilities. While many of the Christians that were there were frightened and threatened by what they saw and heard, many were influenced by it and, thus, an even more false movement was born. My hunger for research continued. I had learned enough at this point to know that the Protestant Church was messed up. I believed that if I was to attend church at all, I would return to the Lutheran roots of my childhood where they at least believed in Holy Communion, as was outlined inthe Bible. But something was still off. Lutherans believed they could get saved just by being baptized and believing and this left off so many other required aspects of what the Bible required. My passion for truth made me unable to fit in any church because I had learned enough at this point toknow that even tithing was part of Levitical law that had been wrongly imposed on today’s Christians as a way for churches to wrongly have set income. For a time I considered becoming Catholic and studied this extensively until I realized that even they were loaded with contradictions and the wrongful use of authority, setting man-made standards and believing that they were to be current apostles for this day and age. I knew I no longer believed Pentecostal doctrine. But I wasn't Lutheran either. I was "just a Christian". In the Spring of 2012, I had resorted to giving up church for good. My passion for studying accurate interpretations of the Bible wasso strong, I could not stomach hearing it taught inaccurately. Furthermore, I had been under so much wrongful pastoral authority, there was literally noplace for me to put my feet on the ground without having to submit to something that was “not of god”. Little did I know then that none of it was. During my last return to Pentecostalism in early 2011 I wasn't happy with myself. It was beyond depressing to have returned to my own vomit of no pants, no makeup, and no life. But I wanted to please God. I realize that me admitting this is just going to cause some Christians to think Igot burned out being Pentecostal but that really wasn't true. I wasn't always Pentecostal. I had been many things as a Christian before. This Pentecostal thing wasn't as long as the other ones. I loved god so much I wanted todo whatever I thought would please him. Back then, it was Pentecostalism. And I looked like a total fashion and character reject. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:45pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
*continued* It didn't take long of me returning to Pentecostalism before I knew it wasn't "of god". Questions continued to drive me to find the facts after I left and I was determined to get to the bottom of them. Where did the Bible really come from? Who said and decided what goes in there andwhat doesn’t? Why did the Catholic Bible really have more books and content in it than the Protestant Bible did? Why did everyone believe that Paul was a disciple just because the Catholics put him in their book? Why am I taking the testimony of a man who claimed to be speaking for Jesus when he was so clearly against women as were many of Christ’s other disciples? Why has every choice I have ever made for Christ devastated me and brought me innumerable sorrow even though I never failed to worship and praise my way through it? Why have I never been able to heal from the things I have been througheven though I constantly submitted myself to God and things still lingered? Why do Christians act the most intolerant of others and make it their mission to correct everyone without even knowing people’s situation? Why are people outside of the church more tolerant and truly loving? There were so many questions.And I have never been a personwho was content not knowing.I had just “lived by faith” for fartoo long. Things just weren’t adding up. And wouldn’t you know it? Themore research I did, the more I quickly realized that this Bible Ibelieved in was nothing more than another religious book that claimed to have the answers but did not. It was full of contradictions, full of hypocrisy and misogyny, full ofprejudice, full of human sacrifice and retribution, full of baby-killing, and seriously messed up regarding love. After I had been thirty-two for nearly a year, I had fully transitioned out of Christianity and out of my belief in any god. The strange part was that all this freedom and happiness came into my life when I did. My depression that I didn’t know I had vanished, I healed from my past, the inner war in my heart stopped, I was able to find peace from the things I experienced, and I became motivated to be successful and take authority over my life. I’ve been recently told by Christians that if I am no longera Christian, it is evidence that I was never a real one. I can't convince them my prior dedication to Jesus was real. I no longer feel or believe I needa god to be good, for I have learned that we as human beings are, by nature, mammals, and can therefore be taught and trained in ways that are right. I believe in humanism and have rejected theism. While some Christians attack me for this and make it their mission to change my mind, it's only more evidence to me that they really don't know the god they claim to know. This pushiness and relentless desperation to conform others to their way of thinking is absurd and it is a little on the desperate side. I was once a very desperate Christian: desperate for Jesus, desperate for blessings, desperate for holiness, desperate for intimacy with Christ, and desperate to see souls saved. Now I'm desperateto make something wonderful out of my life. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:49pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
*and finallly, thank you for your patience thus far* In the past, I thought god had called me to be a speaker and teacher for the gospel. Today I realize that my passion to teach is just something I was born with. It's part of my nature, and I still have it. I was merely born with a desire to teach and write about whatever I am passionate about. I still have a passion for writing and for exposing heresy, only the biggest heresyI now know of is any religious document. For me, The Bible will always be the biggest burnbecause it was my belief in that which shaped and corrupted my life for years. Only, I didn't see it this way until I got out of the Christian movement and was able to putthe searing pieces together finally. I view my previous"relationship with Jesus" the same way I do other bad relationships with men I've dated: I thought it was love at the time, I thought it was special but realized later on it was unhealthy. It may have looked good to other people and I did look happy. But in myheart and in retrospect, I wasn't being myself at all! Everything I did was geared towards pleasing him and, yes, that meant I had to deny myself. That's what real Christianity is and I was never amoderate or lukewarm Christian. I was 100% all the way in. Those who attempt to judge my "relationship with Jesus" were not in the relationship and don't have thefaintest idea why I broke up with him. Furthermore, if he existed at all, he's been dead for thousands of years. Here's where I stand today: the Bible is one big fairy tale, answered prayer is either happenstance, human reasoning, or emotionalfluff, and I'm better, wiser, and happier today than I have ever been and a whole lot more sane. The bottom line is that it is my life and no one else's. It isn't anyone else's job to straighten me out and my country offers me religious freedom and the ability to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. I really believe that if more theists had a full life where they were able to followtheir dreams and desires with agood conscience void of fear, guilt, or judgment, they might not be as interested in straightening everyone else out. In vain, I wait for that day. -Jacqueline Hadley |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:49pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
Double post |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 8:52pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
Eerily shocking how simliar the stories on that site and the subsequent reactions from the Xtians are to those on this thread and Nl generally... Maybe, the new christianity is atheism.. That 'god' be worshipped in 'reason' and in 'truth'...  |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Ishilove: 9:45pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
Cyrexx, do you honestly expect us to read that M.A dissertation you posted up there??    |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 9:54pm On Jan 16, 2013 |
Ishilove: Cyrexx, do you honestly expect us to read that M.A dissertation you posted up there?? Yes, milady. The story is very touching and interesting, if you wont mind the fact that it is a long story. Pls read it entirely and see for yourself. You can read it from the source link. It is the Lord's doing and it is marvellous in our sight.  |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Ishilove: 7:18am On Jan 17, 2013 |
cyrexx:Eyah. What a terribly misguided soul. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by cyrexx: 8:03am On Jan 17, 2013 |
Ishilove: Au contrare, but thou art the terribly deceived and deluded one, and we are trying to free thine mind and such as others like thee from the mental disease known as religion.
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| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 8:43am On Jan 17, 2013 |
cyrexx: but how can you show others the light when you walk in the darkness of ambiguity ? It's comic to want to help others from a position of uncertainty. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 12:28pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
musKeeto: Lol, frosbel, most positions usually have a degree of certainty and uncertainty... The fundamental basis for Christianity is JESUS, his DEATH and RESURRECTION, ALL Christians adhere to this TRUTH without controversy. Otherwise there will always be different understandings of doctrine based on level of study, degree of seriousness about digging for truths, relying on others for information , personal reasons etc. Which is why we need more honest , diligent and serious minded teachers in the body of Christ to prevent more people like you , who do not study their bibles , from becoming discouraged or disillusioned.Btw, I am hoping to discuss you and Cyrexx's testimony some time this weekend, time and children permitting. Take for instance how your views changed from seeing Jesus as part of the Trinity, to no Trinity, then man god.. Oh that one, yes, because I threw away tradition and what I learnt from the numerous churches I attended , and started to diligently and seriously study and search the scriptures for myself. What part of Imo state are you from, with this Loyola thing we have in common, I might even know you or family somehow. At least I can inform your parents on your present situation and get them to withdraw financial support 2 Likes |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 12:59pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
Lmao.. That's mean... My lga is a few kilometers away from yours, and yes we probably probably know each other.... |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 1:00pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
musKeeto: My lga is a few kilometers away from yours, and yes we probably probably know each other.... |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by lagerwhenindoubt(m): 1:50pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
Ishilove: Would a time or situation ever arise in your life when you ask questions.. even if they are insufficiently insignificant? or you are addicted to Faith (Believing what you know ain't true) |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 3:29pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
musKeeto: Lmao.. That's mean... My lga is a few kilometers away from yours, and yes we probably probably know each other.... probably , you can never know, but don't panic, I was only kidding  |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 8:12pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
frosbel:I'd like to have a discussion with you. Preferably in a separate thread. I have some questions for you. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by jamebex(m): 9:17pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
This is a clear example of reliousity. She was trying all by herself to reach God but that is not possible, finaly when she couldn't see a better reason to continue masking her sinfulnes she joined the bandwagon of atheism smh. Many people who aren't christian just wake deluded and looking for a way to justify their evil heart/did put up such gibberish. 1 Like |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by Nobody: 9:43pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
jamebex: This is a clear example of reliousity. She was trying all by herself to reach God but that is not possible, finaly when she couldn't see a better reason to continue masking her sinfulnes she joined the bandwagon of atheism smh. Many people who aren't christian just wake deluded and looking for a way to justify their evil heart/did put up such gibberish. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by SamMilla1(m): 10:47pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
I was born into a Catholic home. I am a Christian by default. My best subject in primary school was Bible Knowlegde. Secondary school was different cos that was when i started wondering how Jonah stayed for days in the belly of a fish, Jesus walked on water, moses divided the sea etc. Something was fishy somewhere, i told myself. When i was a kid, one of my worst moments was during the family night prayers. I would just kneel down in front of sofa and sleep only to wake up with a knock after the prayers. Thank their Jesus that everyone would be deep in prayers and wont notice that one sheep was already in dreamland. Imagine when it is my turn to pray. What punishment is larger than that? My parents ruined it all by sending me to burden school. Everything Church stopped from there on. from 1996 to 2002, i attended Church only once. Germany in 2002 august, the first thing i saw at the Dusseldorf hauptbanhof [train station] was two teenagers kissing infront of me. Damn, so all the fasting and prayers from my parents for my safe journey was to send me to sincity. Something has to be wrong somewhere. Well in a small city called Eisenhuttenstadt in Eastern Germany near Poland, i went to Church once, the Rev Father told us he was a farmer, now how was that possible? Back in my country, Rev Frs are career Reverends. Well i kept thinking until one afternoon, Anja (pronounced Ania in German} came along. Something led to Religious matters- Could you imagine that a white lady of 23 years in 2005 does not know about Jesus? How manage. Nah, impossible. After much talk about Jesus and Angels and Peter and Moses from me, she waved a hand and told me to face realities instead of stories. Someone just called my religion stories, and My Jesus didnt strike her down instantly, thats it. Well i am an atheist to the core. I have even won many people over and made them quit being scared of the effects of not praying etc. |
| Re: Atheists Please Tell Us About Your Conversion And Deconversion Stories by SamMilla1(m): 10:47pm On Jan 17, 2013 |
bump |
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