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Marooned: - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Marooned: by seunspice(m): 12:02pm On Mar 05, 2008
An ambitious investment banker finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. , at least for awhile. A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 4-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.

In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up, nothing did."
He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple." replied the woman "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from Palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-- but, that's impossible," stuttered the man, "you had no tools or hardware, how did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But, enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked onto shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no thank you" he said, still dazed, "can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave, there is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom.
There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?"
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines (strategically positioned) and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know, "
She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: "You mean-- ?", he replied, "--I can check my voice mail from here?"
Re: Marooned: by ituen(m): 8:20pm On Mar 05, 2008
silly idiot
Re: Marooned: by ThugLife1(m): 8:31pm On Mar 05, 2008
Damn!
Ituen you read am?
Re: Marooned: by Usiola(m): 8:33pm On Mar 05, 2008
Welcome to the Lamentations of Jeremiah.
grin grin
Re: Marooned: by segunpc(m): 11:00am On Mar 06, 2008
anyone that has read this shld deem it fit to xplain to me pls.

no vex poster i no get time to read am cos e to short[b] wink[/b]
Re: Marooned: by clemcykul(f): 1:36pm On Mar 06, 2008
ol boi me too no read am embarassed
Re: Marooned: by ayusman16(m): 1:49pm On Mar 06, 2008
Ituen Baba, since na only u read am, abeg help us summarise am to 3 lines.
Re: Marooned: by olulu(m): 1:55pm On Mar 06, 2008
segunpc:

anyone that has read this shld deem it fit to explain to me please.

no vex poster i no get time to read am because e to short[b] wink[/b]
clemcykul:

ol boi me too no read am embarassed

it all about how not to end up being seduced by a woman twice as smart and twice as handy than a man


grin grin grin
Re: Marooned: by justbones(m): 1:59pm On Mar 06, 2008
not to shabby not to shabby at all
Re: Marooned: by ituen(m): 6:01am On Mar 07, 2008
THe jokes means that the guy was suprised on how technological the chic was and with was she used to achieve that level of technology

All he wanted to do was send a message out to the world that he needs helps (this he has been looking for wen he first got marooned)

But of course he lost out on the funkiest part of the scene

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In Too Far: Sam Milla: (senior) / Funny Quotes About Old Age / Women

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