Wife: Do you wear ur specs only whenever i come in?
Husband: The doctor has ordered me to wear it whenever i get an headache.
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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath.
Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.
"Can I touch it?"
"No way -- you already broke yours off!"
--------------------------------

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."