BABE!:

This common sense. The more time you have for your kid the better!!! Like most things in life, there's no assurance that all kids with proper parental care will turn out great! However, your job is to care for them, regardless! You brought them into the world. They are not cats. They are entitled to maximum care. They shouldn't be a second priority!

While you're working 70 hrs a week to "provide" for the kid, you miss her first dance presentation at school, ekaette will be the first to hear her utter her first word, you hardly know her teachers at school and so on.

What's the point of the "money" you're making?!

If parents don't have the adequate resources to cater for their kids, they should zip their pants. .

thank you!
dayokanu actually thinks having böners is the only criterion a man needs to start his family.

Sisi_Kill: Y'all are arguing from both EXTREME ENDS of this debate....that's why it seems like there is something to debate.

Coogar's list of top 20 Regrets states WORKING TOO MUCH, not WORKING. So there goes that argument.

Many housewives barely have time to sit their butt down for a minute talk more of balancing to watch African Magic with a bowl of ice cream.

Not all men are dogs who will deep their abunna into any available hole, so enough with the House girl will snatch your husband blackmail.

One can be at home and still make money...with technological advances, you don't have to burst your ass to bring some income, that takes care of the misconception that women who don't get all decked up to the nines are not useful to the society.

Except there a empirical evidence to show children of one side of the divide are better brought up than the other. . .can we just accept that how a child turns out isn't an exact science? Is not in this same world we are living where twins with the same genetic makeup, brought up in the same home, with the same experiences. . .turn out differently??!! So let's drop the whole parents who are practically in their child's face every hour of the day raise better children.

I guess my point is - Let's stop using yeye points to win an argument that honestly shouldn't even be had in the first places because we are all different and no two circumstances can ever ever ever be the same.

Seeing as you trust your husband so much, surround him with not one but 3 maids you hear.

coogar:

that's bollocks!
your mortgage is the same whether you stay there alone or you have 3 wives living with you. most bills are also flat rates - billed every quarter so what's the big deal?

The mortgage might be the same but with another person pitching in theres more disposable income for the family to improve their standard of life, to improve their diet, to improve the neighbourhood they live in so their kids wont grow up among miscreants, so their kids would have access to good schools which cost money

dayokanu:

Its not exactly rocket science that household expenses are easier to manage when two people work instead of one person

A man can send the kids to Onward nursery, the wife can contribute and they can go to Corona, The man can afford Fish on eba, the woman can contribute to make it turkey on rice, The man can afford Agege the woman can contribute to make it Magodo

And Its actually the Western world that emphasizes working mothers rather than the Nigerian society that raises males to be lazy

But you know this is not one size fits all?Some couples with two wages cant afford even Onward.And some people can afford Eton and Malvern St James on one wage.

Efemena_xy:

But that's Coogar's school of thought! He's stated very clearly that when he gets married, his wife would have to stop work to look after the kids as he would be foot ALL of the bills ALONE.

Abi even you sef nor understand your own man??

I understand my man perfectly well. I said "do wives just stop working abruptly (without having kids and the man's consent) just because they're married?" Read the post again. What I'm arguing for here is a housewife that has kids to take care of!

If coogar wants his wife to stop working when she has kid(s), I do not mind! When I have my baby/babies, maximum everything is it!! I am the one that "requested" for them, because I really want them and I will take CARE of them; my duty, no be volunteer work.

dayokanu:

So theres no evidence to suggest children of working parents turn out worse than those of housewives then whats the overwhelming argument in support of "housewifery"

That's never been the MAIN REASON given for staying at home...You'll find that more often than not topping the list is MONEY, what is the cost effectiveness of sending a young child to daycare/hiring a sitter/a house help? Like someone posted earlier, his wife males 1300, daycare is 700. Are all the things taken into account when a child goes to daycare plus the wife going to work worth the 600 they save?!! For many, it's a no!!

Secondly, If we are gonna be honest with ourselves instead of pretending we aren't aware we will admit that many time...Some women do not have a choice in the matter should their husbands decide they want them at home. How many times have we seen women and men give a woman the "You want to destroy your home" speech when she decides to do something is against her husband's wishes?!

If we decide to have this discussion, then I say we do it based on reality....as in what's on ground and not how we think things should be. I find it hilarious that some people think the woman turning to prostitution story is fake after all her husband must have gratuity and pension....in the same country where last year a man went on hunger strike to get his employers to pay his gratuity??!!

Reality, please....Reality!!

BABE!:


This common sense. The more time you have for your kid the better!!! Like most things in life, there's no assurance that all kids with proper parental care will turn out great! However, your job is to care for them, regardless! You brought them into the world. They are not cats. They are entitled to maximum care. They shouldn't be a second priority!

While you're working 70 hrs a week to "provide" for the kid, you miss her first dance presentation at school, ekaette will be the first to hear her utter her first word, you hardly know her teachers at school and so on.

What's the point of the "money" you're making?!

If parents don't have the adequate resources to cater for their kids, they should zip their pants.

What is adequate resources? Living in Agege and living in Ikoyi both are houses kids can grow up in, Onward School and Corona both are schools, Eba and fish vs Chicken and meat are both meals

With a working wife, a better lifestyle is achievable than with a non working one.

If the husband has 1million and the woman makes 250k

The family would live on 1.5m instead of 1m and in most cases the lifestyle would be different

BABE!:


I understand my man perfectly well. I said "do wives just stop working abruptly (without kids and the man's consent) just because they're married?" Read the post again.

If coogar wants his wife to stop working when she has kid(s), I do not mind! When I have my baby/babies, maximum everything is it!! I am the one that "requested" for them, because I really want them and I will take CARE of them; my duty, no be volunteer work.

And don't you need money to look after them properly?

Or money is of no significance here?

Efemena_xy:

And don't you need money to look after them properly?

Or money is of no significance here?

That's the point, ma'am. My husband and I have a plan. No kids till we're ready, both financially and mentally!!

He's making the money, I'm taking care of the kids! Everyone is happy.

Efemena_xy:

And don't you need money to look after them properly?

Or money is of no significance here?

Of course you dont The mother staying at home is what would send them to the best schools get them the best healthcare instead of the quack doctors

And let me pre empt them, they would tell you the man should make the money to live in Ikoyi, go to St Nicholas, Send them to Greenspring, Vacation in London etc

If everyone was royalty and son of Saudi King, No one would need to work and both man and wife can just sit at home watchng the kids daily and giving them the best in life

dayokanu:
The mortgage might be the same but with another person pitching in theres more disposable income for the family to improve their standard of life, to improve their diet, to improve the neighbourhood they live in so their kids wont grow up among miscreants, so their kids would have access to good schools which cost money

not at the expense of the welfare of my children!
my standard of living is already top drawer before meeting my wife - i do not need her stipend to pay my bills. i work very hard, i get promoted every couple of years - the decision to stay or not stay at home is a luxury my wife has. she gets to choose whichever one suits her.

maclatunji:

Seeing as you trust your husband so much, surround him with not one but 3 maids you hear.

When it comes to the ekaete use hin big yansh scatter oga sense kinda topics...I find you a tad bush manishly ignorant in your thinking (What else do you call someone who thinks the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman is her husband sleeping with another woman. The world will just end and she will cease to exist ko?!), so I have made up my mind to ignore THIS you.

I'd rather "know" and respond to you in other topics where the brilliant mind, which thank goodness I know you have, shines through.

So until such a topic. . .who be you?!

Sisi_Kill:

Except there a empirical evidence to show children of one side of the divide are better brought up than the other. . .can we just accept that how a child turns out isn't an exact science? Is not in this same world we are living where twins with the same genetic makeup, brought up in the same home, with the same experiences. . .turn out differently??!! So let's drop the whole parents who are practically in their child's face every hour of the day raise better children.

I guess my point is - Let's stop using yeye points to win an argument that honestly shouldn't even be had in the first places because we are all different and no two circumstances can ever ever ever be the same.

Thank you o! Wasn't the newtown mass shooter's mom a stay at home mom? So should I now conclude that stay at home moms are raising baby killing mass murderers?

The staying at home/working mom does not tell the full story when it comes to how the child turns out!

dayokanu:

What is adequate resources? Living in Agege and living in Ikoyi both are houses kids can grow up in, Onward School and Corona both are schools, Eba and fish vs Chicken and meat are both meals

With a working wife, a better lifestyle is achievable than with a non working one.

If the husband has 1million and the woman makes 250k

The family would live on 1.5m instead of 1m and in most cases the lifestyle would be different

Brb.....

ileobatojo:
Thank you o! Wasn't the newtown mass shooter's mom a stay at home mom? So should I now conclude that stay at home moms are raising baby killing mass murderers?

The staying at home/working mom does not tell the full story when it comes to how the child turns out!

i hate it when people bring out ridiculous instances such as this one to score yeye brownie points. it's not only the quantity of time spent with the kids that matters but the quality as well. if a stay at home mum abandons her kids whilst doing her own frivolities then what's the point in staying at home? argue objectively, abeg - you are not a child!

coogar:

not at the expense of the welfare of my children!
my standard of living is already top drawer before meeting my wife - i do not need her stipend to pay my bills. i work very hard, i get promoted every couple of years - the decision to stay or not stay at home is a luxury my wife has. she gets to choose whichever one suits her.

Its outright delusion to think you currently have the best thing your kids can afford. Unless you are Dangote or Adenuga an average Nigerian working bachelor barely has enough to live in Ikoyi, Send kids to top schools where they pay over 1m per semester, Provide excellent meals and summer vacations

BABE!:


That's the point, ma'am. My husband and I have a plan. No kids till we're ready both financially and mentally!!

He's making the money, I'm taking care of the kids! Everyone is happy.

You do know it doesn't always work out that way, don't you?

Life is not a clear cut case of black-or-white.

Now what do I mean?

~ What if you finally meet your intended spouse/life partner late in life? I say "late" in relation to the female's biological clock. So say late thirties? Early forties? But you've not quite got to the point you want to be career wise / financially. What would you do then? Miss out on having your own biological kids because you've got the "I" and "T" but not yet dotted and crossed them to your absolute satisfaction?

~ What happens if you do reach the pinnacle of your financial aspirations but loose it all in the twinkle of an eye (say for example due to external factors like the stock market taking a nose-dive / crashing, the country getting gripped in the throes of a double/triple dip recession? You gonna wait and ride out the storm? You'll start all over again, from scratch before embarking on having kids?

I really am curious, you know...

coogar:

i hate it when people bring out ridiculous instances such as this one to score yeye brownie points. it's not only the quantity of time spent with the kids that matters but the quality as well. if a stay at home mum abandons her kids whilst doing her own frivolities then what's the point in staying at home? argue objectively, abeg - you are not a child!

*Scratching head*

Did Coogar forget what side of the debate he is arguing for?!

I coulda sworn twas on the side of being at home more = makes better momma & Better Childrenses

dayokanu:
Its outright delusion to think you currently have the best thing your kids can afford. Unless you are Dangote or Adenuga an average Nigerian working bachelor barely has enough to live in Ikoyi, Send kids to top schools where they pay over 1m per semester, Provide excellent meals and summer vacations

it's people like yourself who wasted their adolescent years chasing shadows that find such tasks daunting! which comes first - your savings or the child we are talking about? if your savings cannot afford N1m per term fees, don't have a child - it's that simple.......you are putting the cart before the horse with your missive! the difference between sending your kid to a top school and a mediocre school cannot be the salary of my wife - only a complete twät would opine such!

Sisi_Kill:
*Scratching head*
Did Coogar forget what side of the debate he is arguing for?!
I coulda sworn twas on the side of being at home more = makes better momma & Better Childrenses

i did not forget.....

less quantity + more quality = quality upbringing
more quantity + more quality = super-quality upbringing.

you have to put in the shifts of staying with them for hours and ensuring those hours are also quality as well.

coogar:

i hate it when people bring out ridiculous instances such as this one to score yeye brownie points. it's not only the quantity of time spent with the kids that matters but the quality as well. if a stay at home mum abandons her kids whilst doing her own frivolities then what's the point in staying at home? argue objectively, abeg - you are not a child!

Abi? The case of a woman lurking around the neighborhood with wrapper tied around her chest, eating everything in sight and gossiping with her crew while her unkempt child is in the house crying for hours with mucus dripping from his nostrils, is not valid in this argument.

We are taking about a housewife that knows her main job; to take care of her kids!!

coogar:

not at the expense of the welfare of my children!
my standard of living is already top drawer before meeting my wife - i do not need her stipend to pay my bills. i work very hard, i get promoted every couple of years - the decision to stay or not stay at home is a luxury my wife has. she gets to choose whichever one suits her.

Then in that case, only the middle classes and upper classes are entitled to have kids.

Cleaners, drivers, carers, and other sorts of low paid staff should be sterilized, because they'll never have enough income to pay their bills let alone look after their kids, abi?

coogar:

i hate it when people bring out ridiculous instances such as this one to score yeye brownie points. it's not only the quantity of time spent with the kids that matters but the quality as well. if a stay at home mum abandons her kids whilst doing her own frivolities then what's the point in staying at home? argue objectively, abeg - you are not a child!

Can you read? Did I make any affirmations regarding stay at home moms based on that story? Perhaps you should open your eyes wide and read my post again. If you still don't understand it let me know and I'll be happy to break it down for you.

I'm still waiting for your evidence regarding the 30 hrs assertion.

Sisi_Kill:

*Scratching head*

Did Coogar forget what side of the debate he is arguing for?!

I coulda sworn twas on the side of being at home more = makes better momma & Better Childrenses

Lol!! He's so ridiculous!!

See how quickly he flip flops.

coogar:

it's people like yourself who wasted their adolescent years chasing shadows that find such tasks daunting! which comes first - your savings or the child we are talking about? [size=14pt]if your savings cannot afford N1m per term fees, don't have a child - it's that simple[/size].......you are putting the cart before the horse with your missive! the difference between sending your kid to a top school and a mediocre school cannot be the salary of my wife - only a complete twät would opine such!

You see the delusion I am talking about?

Every Nigerian bachelor who cant afford 1m per term, Live in Ikoyi , Afford summer vacation etc shouldnt have kids

Nigerian guys that earn above 3m per annum are less than 5% of the single guys population

So the other 95% shouldnt have kids and family

You see the delusion and idioticc arguments we have been engaging in since morning

A Man earns 3m per annum his wife earns 2m per annum only a morron would argue 5m household income wont go further than 3m

Efemena_xy:

Then in that case, only the middle classes and upper classes are entitled to have kids.

Cleaners, drivers, carers, and other sorts of low paid staff should be sterilized, because they'll never have enough income to pay their bills let alone look after their kids, abi?

exactly!
not everyone can afford to raise kids to the required standard!
recently it was estimated the cost of raising a child is £220,000 in the uk - you think say raising kids is beans? people who cannot raise them well should leave the business of procreation for those who can. if sending my children to £30,000 per term school would involve me taking loans from sisikill and ileobatojo every year then i am not qualified to have a child - it's as simple as that!

dayokanu:
You see the delusion I am talking about?
Every Nigerian bachelor who cant afford 1m per term, Live in Ikoyi , Afford summer vacation etc shouldnt have kids

look at this odious tool - i am using your argument to destroy you.
earlier, you stated allowing your wife to work opens the doors for lekki/ikoyi residence, top schools and blah blah blah and i countered back that the difference between ojuelegba flat and a lekki mansion can never equate to your wife's salary.....therefore, a bachelor whose salary cannot afford lekki house should resign his fate that he cannot raise his kids to a standard quality! what's so ambiguous about that?

Nigerian guys that earn above 3m per annum are less than 5% of the single guys population
So the other 95% shouldnt have kids and family

don't be silly......of course they can have families but they should not dream of putting those kids in british-american schools in ikoyi or dream of summer vacations every quarter of the year - like you claimed that working couples would automatically have .

You see the delusion and idioticc arguments we have been engaging in since morning
A Man earns 3m per annum his wife earns 2m per annum only a morron would argue 5m household income wont go further than 3m

it will not if you are sensible enough and you put proper child care into consideration. first n foremost, you need a trusted professional hand to take care of those kids while you workaholics are having the time of your lives. how much would that professional cost you?

Sisi_Kill:

When it comes to the ekaete use hin big yansh scatter oga sense kinda topics...I find you a tad bush manishly ignorant in your thinking (What else do you call someone who thinks the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman is her husband sleeping with another woman. The world will just end and she will cease to exist ko?!), so I have made up my mind to ignore THIS you.

I'd rather "know" and respond to you in other topics where the brilliant mind, which thank goodness I know you have, shines through.

So until such a topic. . .who be you?!

LOL, Sisi don turn philosopher.

I love how quickly we have gone from this, based on quantity of time spent alone!

coogar:

no wonder the society has broken down completely.....

To this!

coogar:

i did not forget.....

less quantity + more quality = quality upbringing
more quantity + more quality = super-quality upbringing.

you have to put in the shifts of staying with them for hours and ensuring those hours are also quality as well.

Freaking hilarious!

coogar:

exactly!
not everyone can afford to raise kids to the required standard!
recently it was estimated the cost of raising a child is £220,000 in the uk - you think say raising kids is beans? people who cannot raise them well should leave the business of procreation for those who can. if sending my children to £30,000 per term school would involve me taking loans from sisikill and ileobatojo every year then i am not qualified to have a child - it's as simple as that!

Okayyyyyy....

Now kindly explain to me why Paris Hilton is the way she is?

I mean, afterall money is not an issue for her parents, yet she's a renowned celebrity for her what? Partying ways? Empty head?

And the Obama's, Alan Sugars, etc that come from humble backgrounds ought not to have been born too, abi?

dayokanu:

Its outright delusion to think you currently have the best thing your kids can afford. Unless you are Dangote or Adenuga an average Nigerian working bachelor barely has enough to live in Ikoyi, Send kids to top schools where they pay over 1m per semester, Provide excellent meals and summer vacations

All relative,all relative my bro.Living in Ikoyi,paying 1m per semester,providing excellent meals(if you plan ahead and this is from personal experience you dont need loads to eat healthy) and summer vacations are not the ONLY parameters to judge good parenting.

damiso:

All relative,all relative my bro.Living in Ikoyi,paying 1m per semester,providing excellent meals(if you plan ahead and this is from personal experience you dont need loads to eat healthy) and summer vacations are not the ONLY parameters to judge good parenting.

But you know there is a limit parenting can do when your child grows up in Ajegunle/Peckham, Attends Public schools vs Private schools and eat better food vs Garri and sugar

In Nigeria the poor peoples diets are usually low and no amount of of parenting would make Garri and groundnut better than Chicken and chips for the child

coogar:

exactly!
not everyone can afford to raise kids to the required standard!
recently it was estimated the cost of raising a child is £220,000 in the uk - you think say raising kids is beans? people who cannot raise them well should leave the business of procreation for those who can. if sending my children to £30,000 per term school would involve me taking loans from sisikill and ileobatojo every year then i am not qualified to have a child - it's as simple as that!



look at this odious tool - i am using your argument to destroy you.
earlier, you stated allowing your wife to work opens the doors for lekki/ikoyi residence, top schools and blah blah blah and i countered back that the difference between ojuelegba flat and a lekki mansion can never equate to your wife's salary.....therefore, a bachelor whose salary cannot afford lekki house should resign his fate that he cannot raise his kids to a standard quality! what's so ambiguous about that?



don't be silly......of course they can have families but they should not dream of putting those kids in british-american schools in ikoyi or dream of summer vacations every quarter of the year - like you claimed that working couples would automatically have .



it will not if you are sensible enough and you put proper child care into consideration. first n foremost, you need a trusted professional hand to take care of those kids while you workaholics are having the time of your lives. how much would that professional cost you?

I see your points but you are now deviating a lil.Having all the money does not equate good parenting.

ileobatojo: I love how quickly we have gone from this, based on quantity of time spent alone!

To this!
Freaking hilarious!

yes - no wonder the society has degenerated to what it is because of selfish parents. they abandon kids in the hands of relatives who take turns to abuse those kids in ways we cannot mention here whilst husband/wife are busy showing their payslips to everyone that they are soon-to-be bill gates! i cannot believe i am arguing with supposed mothers who should understand the importance of proper childcare!

damiso:
I see your points but you are now deviating a lil. Having all the money does not equate good parenting.

of course - one of the parents must put in quality shifts to ensure the proper upbringing as opposed to the working couples who would rather spend 25 mins with their kids till the kids choose their own parents from the streets. there's no difference between kids whose parents are rarely home and kids whose parents are both in prison/dead!

Efemena_xy:
Okayyyyyy....
Now kindly explain to me why Paris Hilton is the way she is?
I mean, afterall money is not an issue for her parents, yet she's a renowned celebrity for her what? Partying ways? Empty head?

the money paris hilton inherited from her grandparents has given her the celebrity status from birth - what has she gotta do with our debate? in case you have lost sight of the ball - the topic says nigerian housewives!

And the Obama's, Alan Sugars, etc that come from humble backgrounds ought not to have been born too, abi?

you are deviating - the humble beginnings of alan sugar/obama is equivalent to the top 5% of the rich people in nigeria. i am sure they were not as poor as spending $2 per day, were they?