Yes, stepmothers. Please, share how you've been able to cope with her all these years? What was it like having a new woman in the house (especially when you're the eldest daugther and had been the 'wife figure' for some time)? How do you cope with her taking charge and changing practically everything in the house? What steps do you take in making sure you all live happily in the house?


And if you're sort of resistant to change, like myself, what has been your experience with your stepmother-good or bad?

It is d most terrible thing to happen to someone.......living with one's stepmum, abeg, its gonna be hell on earth

Most of ya are the same age as your step-moms. . .So what exactly is the problem?
Abi Bianca Ojukwu step-sons nor seniorrrram?
Please, you NL old cargos should stop feeling soooooooooo young!
Shiooooooooooooooor!!!
Which Nigerian 'sugar-pop' will go for a second wife that is over 18 years of age?

We were friends from day one as my dad made sure to have us introduced early on....but

(especially
when you're the eldest daugther and
had been the 'wife figure' for some
time)? How do you cope with her taking
charge and changing practically
everything in the house?

Can relate very well to the above.Trouble started from here.It was difficult having someone order me around in a house where i had been administrator and commander for years.
Telling me which meat to pick or not from the pot of soup,..instructing me on some how to's that i felt she didn't know any better
There were a few issues o..sometimes,I was right and she was wrong and vice versa but we always got through it through communicating our displeasures and apologising to each other afterwards
My dad never got involved until one big one where we kept malice for about one week and when he had to get involved,he said he didn't want any explanations and demanded that we both hug it out there and then.Bless him!
All the issues didn't transcend the first two years.We got to know each other better and we got closer.
Today,she is the most amazing person I know.Her kind is rare.
Sent from heaven...i tell you!
She is a big part of what I and siblings are today.
Seeing us together,you wouldn't know she's my step-mum.you'd think she's my sister.
I tell her anything and everything before my dad even gets to know.
Anytime I'm home and my dad isn't around,I sleep in her bed
She has no regrets joining the family and we(I) have none having her with us
The "step-mums are wicked or terrible people" stereotype is strange to me still and ever will be.
It helped that we didn't and still do not give room for any external influences or busy bodies.
Glory to God!

DaDewdropsNVS: Most of ya are the same age as your step-moms. . .So what exactly is the problem?

We aren't all as old as our stepmums. In fact, I have not met people in that category. And trust me, there can be problems....

Chaircover, we have plenty in common. In my case, I wasn't only defending my mum's honour, I was/still am protecting my younger sister like the way a lioness watches after her cubs. And like your dad, mine loves my sister and I dearly. He takes care to protect us from every and anyone. I took advantage of that and almost let things get out of hand by being pretty stubborn and over protective of my sister to the point of turning a left eye to the wrongs she did. Well, I'm more objective now, I try not to get involved when my stepmum disciplines her.

@ slimyem, lol at telling you which meat to pick. I have the same issues with her. I mean, the woman hoards everything. It ticks me off. Our home was such a free one. Now there are restrictions everywhere and for every little thing. You must ask before using.

Sometimes, I feel like a stranger in my own home. It's sad.

As for communication, I don't think the woman has heard such a word. It's either her way or the highway. And I sure have been using the highway.

But the problem is we are not getting anywhere, and the woman isn't even trying! Funny enough, I sort of picked the woman for my dad.

slimyem: We were friends from day one as my dad made sure to have us introduced early on....but
Can relate very well to the above.Trouble started from here.It was difficult having someone order me around in a house where i had been administrator and commander for years.
Telling me which meat to pick or not from the pot of soup,..instructing me on some how to's that i felt she didn't know any better
There were a few issues o..sometimes,I was right and she was wrong and vice versa but we always got through it through communicating our displeasures and apologising to each other afterwards
My dad never got involved until one big one where we kept malice for about one week and when he had to get involved,he said he didn't want any explanations and demanded that we both hug it out there and then.Bless him!
All the issues didn't transcend the first two years.We got to know each other better and we got closer.
Today,she is the most amazing person I know.Her kind is rare.
Sent from heaven...i tell you!
She is a big part of what I and siblings are today.
Seeing us together,you wouldn't know she's my step-mum.you'd think she's my sister.
I tell her anything and everything before my dad even gets to know.
Anytime I'm home and my dad isn't around,I sleep in her bed
She has no regrets joining the family and we(I) have none having her with us
The "step-mums are wicked or terrible people" stereotype is strange to me still and ever will be.
It helped that we didn't and still do not give room for any external influences or busy bodies.
Glory to God!

its because you are mature,you know your left from your right,no one can bully you or toss you around as opposed to if u were 5 or 9 year old,men u for don hear am,there are actually some wicked step moms but they cant try any nonesense with adult children,its only young kids as in the case of a 19year old step mom that used blade to tear her step daughters private part.i tell you what,even though she is arrested now,she could easily do that because the child is young and vulnerable.even though i dont have any step mom and i will never have by the grace of God,i have discovered that women know when to be super nice and when to be ridiculously wicked.they cant be wicked to adult children because they know the consequences

^^
That woman is 'ridiculously wicked', as you put it! My goodness!

People, share your experiences and give your advice as to how to live peaceably with stepmothers...

I'd like to see things from the other side of the coin. If you're a stepmother, how did you make it work with your step-children?

DaDewdropsNVS:
Abi Bianca Ojukwu step-sons nor seniorrrram?
Please, you NL old cargos should stop feeling soooooooooo young!
Shiooooooooooooooor!!!
Which Nigerian 'sugar-pop' will go for a second wife that is over 18 years of age?

Where did all that come from? You obviously have no experience on this issue, so it's best you don't comment.

This thread is not in the politics' section, it was opened so meaningful advice could be given concerning the issue. And BTW, how old do you even think I am?

ARareGem: @ slimyem, lol at telling you which meat to pick. I have the same issues with her. I mean, the woman hoards everything. It ticks me off. Our home was such a free one. Now there are restrictions everywhere and for every little thing. You must ask before using.

Sometimes, I feel like a stranger in my own home. It's sad.

You are going to have to live with it.
What i did was to start seeing my home as her home too and accepting the fact that she had as much right as I did in that house.
She was a WIFE not a girlfriend....and somehow,I knew I had to let her take charge.It was the most sensible thing to do especially since I wasn't planning to stay in the house forever.
I quickly understood that two captains cannot man one ship and went back to my position as a DAUGHTER.

As for communication, I don't think the woman has heard such a word. It's either her way or the highway. And I sure have been using the highway.

But the problem is we are not getting anywhere, and the woman isn't even trying! Funny enough, I sort of picked the woman for my dad.

Rivalry won't help much.
You can't play her roles and she can't play yours.
Someone has to slow down for the other for peace to reign.
Do not stay out or away from her and do not stop trying to talk.Let her know how you feel if she offends you.I'm sure she'd be reasonable.
There must have been something you saw in her that made you sign her up for your dad in the first place.I'm almost certain its still there.
Find and exploit it.
Its a long walk but you'll get there hopefully....just like i did.

^^
Yes, it's going to be a lonnng work. But I'll try my best and leave the rest for God. Thanks a lot for the advice.

slimyem: You are going to have to live with it.
What i did was to start seeing my home as her home too and accepting the fact that she had as much right as I did in that house.
She was a WIFE not a girlfriend....and somehow,I knew I had to let her take charge.It was the most sensible thing to do especially since I wasn't planning to stay in the house forever.
I quickly understood that two captains cannot man one ship and went back to my position as a DAUGHTER.
Rivalry won't help much.
You can't play her roles and she can't play yours.
Someone has to slow down for the other for peace to reign.
Do not stay out or away from her and do not stop trying to talk.Let her know how you feel if she offends you.I'm sure she'd be reasonable.
There must have been something you saw in her that made you sign her up for your dad in the first place.I'm almost certain its still there.
Find and exploit it.
Its a long walk but you'll get there hopefully....just like i did.

Is this Slimyem of early 2012? Funny how I noticed a sudden increase in ur maturity all of a sudden. Well....I guess lots of life's experiences wl make one aspire to be a better person!
Kudos to the new you!!!!

ARareGem:

We aren't all as old as our stepmums. In fact, I have not met people in that category. And trust me, there can be problems....

ARareGem:

Where did all that come from? You obviously have no experience on this issue, so it's best you don't comment.

This thread is not in the politics' section, it was opened so meaningful advice could be given concerning the issue. And BTW, how old do you even think I am?

NO BE H-INTERNET WE DEY?
Abeg leff sointin.
EVEN MAMA PATIENCE NZOKWOR go come NL to claim sweet siss eko bridge with no teeth for mouth ke!

I AM SURE IF 'DEBE' OJUKWU NEVER SHOWED UP. . .BIANCA WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME THING!

Royal Roy:

Is this Slimyem of early 2012? Funny how I noticed a sudden increase in ur maturity all of a sudden. Well....I guess lots of life's experiences wl make one aspire to be a better person!
Kudos to the new you!!!!

I don't understand this mumbo jumbo..
There is no "new" me anywhere.
Different topics/situations,different approaches.
You either only see what you want to see and/or get what you ask for when you do.

slimyem: I don't understand this mumbo jumbo..
There is no "new" me anywhere.
Different topics/situations,different approaches.
You either only see what you want to see and/or get what you ask for when you do.

Hmmmm.....I see!!!!

Sinachee:



NO BE H-INTERNET WE DEY?
Abeg leff sointin.
EVEN MAMA PATIENCE NZOKWOR go come NL to claim sweet siss eko bridge with no teeth for mouth ke!

I AM SURE IF 'DEBE' OJUKWU NEVER SHOWED UP. . .BIANCA WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME THING!

There's no point trying to proove myself to you. But I must say that I bask in how highly ya'll think of ARareGem.

ARareGem:

There's no point trying to proove myself to you. But I must say that I bask in how highly ya'll think of ARareGem.

Please, nothing to prove o! Just throwing amd catching ma fun as ususal. The thread is about living with step-mommas. . . .not you abi? I don forget say na you start the thread sef! MUCHECHECHECHE

Sinachee:

Please, nothing to prove o! Just throwing amd catching ma fun as ususal. The thread is about living with step-mommas. . . .not you abi? I don forget say na you start the thread sef! MUCHECHECHECHE

Seen.