Entrenched Epidemic: Wife-Beatings in Africa

By SHARON LaFRANIERE
Published: August 11, 2005

LAGOS, Nigeria - It was a typical husband-wife argument. She wanted to visit her parents. He wanted her to stay home.

So they settled it in what some here say is an all-too-typical fashion, Rosalynn Isimeto-Osibuamhe recalled of the incident in December 2001. Her husband, Emmanuel, followed her out the door. Then he beat her unconscious, she says, and left her lying in the street near their apartment.



Joao Silva for The New York Times

Rosalynn Isimeto-Osibuamhe, who has broken with her husband, sang at a church service in Lagos.

Ms. Isimeto-Osibuamhe, then 31 and in the fifth year of her marriage, had broken an unwritten rule in this part of the world: she had defied her husband. Surveys throughout sub-Saharan Africa show that many men - and women, too - consider such disobedience ample justification for a beating.

Not Ms. Isimeto-Osibuamhe. A university graduate and founder of a French school, she packed her clothes and walked out as soon as she got back from the hospital. So far, although her resolve sometimes wavers and she does not want a divorce, she has not gone back.

"He doesn't believe I have any rights of my own," she said in an interview outside her French classroom. "If I say no, he beats me. I said: 'Wow. That is not what I want in life.' "

Women suffer from violence in every society. In few places, however, is the abuse more entrenched, and accepted, than in sub-Saharan Africa. One in three Nigerian women reported having been physically abused by a male partner, according to the latest study, conducted in 1993. The wife of the deputy governor of a northern Nigerian province told reporters last year that her husband beat her incessantly, in part because she watched television movies. One of President Olusegun Obasanjo's appointees to a national anticorruption commission was allegedly killed by her husband in 2000, two days after she asked the state police commissioner to protect her.

"It is like it is a normal thing for women to be treated by their husbands as punching bags," Obong Rita Akpan, until last month Nigeria's minister for women's affairs, said in an interview here. "The Nigerian man thinks that a woman is his inferior. Right from childhood, right from infancy, the boy is preferred to the girl. Even when they marry out of love, they still think the woman is below them and they do whatever they want."

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/11/international/africa/11women.html

I think the blame lies solely with women - they permit it, they encourage it. If a mother trains her son not to be a wife-beater, he would not be a wife-beater. Nigerian women are quite liberated but they insist on holding on to traditions that do not pay them. In addition to that, women in positions of influence (e.g. mother of the husband) do little to discourage this problem from extending to the next generation.

I I'm going to put the blame on the women 100%. If you're interested in statistics, I know a marriage counselor who discovered that 50% of husbands in pentecostal churches, those miracle-believing, bible-quoting people, beat their wives from time to time. And of course they are protected by their women; you will not know such a thing happens unless it's happening in your house.

No matter the reasons, wife beating is sore, it only demonstrates the mans lack of leadership at home. There is no "sin" from a woman that deserves beating. You find this in hot tempered folks mostly, and in most cases, they deserve more beating than the women. I have experinced this directly and I can say so. By the way, this is not an African phenomenon, its a general male gender problem.

Girlfriend-beating or wife-beating is a very easy problem to solve. All you need is a central database where girlfriends of violent men can submit their names and say "this is what he did, future girlfriends beware". But if you discuss it with women they'll express absolutely no interest.

If your husband is beating you and you take it to your mother she wil say "bear with it". If you take it to his mother she would say "it's your fault". SO I put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the womenfolk. If they are not happy with the status quo, then they should throw their weights behind efforts to change things.

this article seriosuly exaggerates the problem. it smears us. wife beating happens everwhere in the world

Obong, yeah it happens everywhere in the world...but dang, NIgerian own is tooooo much. You see..most women that get beaten in other part of the world..tend to divorce their husbands. But Nigerian women will stay in the "iya"..(suffering and beating).

Aint no man gon lay his fingers on me. Seriously. Anyways wife beatings got to stop. Enough of this.

wife beating is everywhere.but excess in africa especially Nigeria.It has to STOP
Men appreciate your wives as Humans and not Punching Bags

You know one question that readily comes to my mind each time I hear a man beats up his wife? What happened to the love they first shared which subsequently led a happy marriage?

But honestly speaking, there is no justification to a man beating up his wife. Whether he is angry or the wife is to blame for whatever led to his beating her.

A man was asked how he handles his wife's constant nagging and complains, take a look at his answer.
"I just ignore her and when she's tired, she'll keep quiet."

I think the blame lies solely with women - they permit it, they encourage it.

With a comment like that, you're obviously fishing for a reaction here - you can't really mean that.

I honestly mean it. I put the blame squarely on Nigerian women; unlike women in other african countries, Nigerian women actually have the power to make a difference but they are simply not interested. Let's let them talk and you'll see what they'll say.

If you really mean it, then we'll probably have to start a thread on 'How to Determine Responsibility'. But by saying that 'women are solely to blame', you are implying that men are robots whose actions are entirely determined by women.

What I am saying is that it is difficult to help the vast majority of Nigerians women, who are victims of spousal abuse, when they are not protesting agaisnt it. When they don't seem to be disturbed by it. When they think it's not a big deal; that it's part of the pain of love.

hot angel, do you have proof to say its worse in nigeria. I kknow many nigeian women that divorced thier husbands because of it.

the article says african men look at women like a car or a shoe. such vicious lies!

wife beatings is a real abuse and its totally wrong, couples should be able to talk and not use their fists at each other..when you know u gon be beating her, why u married her?

Obong, thank you jare. Western men also beat their wives. As if it's only in Africa. Every bad thing that happens in Africa tends to be overblown as if it's only Africans that do it. Fraud, robbery, corruption, etc. It's the media power. They will cover up all their own bad deeds and shine their spotlight on Africa. I no know wetin Africa do them!

Seun is making a point here. If they don't speak out, they can't be helped.

IAH, i no sabi wetin africa do them, but na so oyinbo be. They will do anythign to tear us apart. We just have to make sure we dont buy into these ideas of ouselves

Hum wife beatings, from what i have read and watched in documentaries, not seen before , is really something that as Seun said is encouraged by the women, they bear the pain, and think it is ok, and it continues to repeat itself.

I think if they take drastic step such as taking legal actions, seperation etc, it would not repeat itself anymore, and eventually it would die away.

The country that has the largest statistic is terms of wife beating is Pakistan, if I am not mistaken.

some times stuff i read here just amazes me.

Let us not get carried away here, the issue of spousal abuse is vry real all over the world, wat makes the West better is that they have sat down and thot of ways of improving the lot of pple at the brunt of this evil phenomenom and by so doing have evolved of arresting the problem. such as opening safe houses, taking complaints more seriously, doing thorough investigations etc. so in that regard i will give them a thumbs up.

Pple wat obtains here is childs play compared to the islamic countries, where honor killings are still rife and a woman can b beaten to death, strangled, stabbed etc by her family members just to redeem their so called family honor !!!

There is a problem in naija i agree, but not in the exxagerrated proportions stated in the news piece because i know so many pple that hav not raised their hands to a woman (me inclusive). it is hell on earth to hav to endure a beating regularly from anybody and men who persist in it will 1 day realise their folly. Food for thot pple - i once heard this story of a man who used to beat his wife incessantly at the slightest provocation, well one day while he was sleeping his wife took a pestle and smashed both his knees. Thereafter she took him to the hospital and nursed him back to health but since then he has not laid a finger on her.

No woman deserves a beating, neither shld they be blamed for being beaten that is as lame an argument as a woman deserved to be raped because of her dressing, there are civilised ways of handling issues with them which are even more effective if u ask me

Do you notice that no woman (over 18) has contributed to this topic? This proves my point - the only people concerned about the issue of wife beating are men! Can you imagine that?

Seun:

Do you notice that no woman (over 18) has contributed to this topic? This proves my point - the only people concerned about the issue of wife beating are men! Can you imagine that?

seun this was my say:

Latoya:

wife beating is everywhere.but excess in africa especially Nigeria.It has to STOP
Men appreciate your wives as Humans and not Punching Bags

For no reason shuld a man touch a woman,weather she has the power to make a difference or not,what difference do u even think she can make?with an Animal beating her up wildly?
what u shuld say is that we shuld be given a chance to xpress ourselves,and not desended on like a punching bag.For no reason will i accept any so called man hit me.He will pay for it with his life.Husbands should send messages across to their wives gently,that makes u a man than hitting and screamin at the top of your voice.Wife beating is an Assult and Husbands shuld be sued !

Oops, I missed it!  Ok, let me correct my statement.  Nigerian women in Nigeria don't care!

Seun what is the differnce between nigeria women in Nigeria and the ones overseas?,In terms of Wife battering.

great post, klex

Nigerian women that are being battered in the western world can easily report to the police or take shelter with various feminist groups. The support structures are available to those who want to use them.

@ Seun

so r there in nigeria,r u trying to tell me that if a woman gets bashed up by her husband,she reports to the police and nothing will be done about it? i the think nigerian police r far too good to allow such nonsense

the nigerian police are "no good".....

Dont tell me a man that calls himself a police can't arrest a wife batterer,its not that bad i guess

What if she's beaten but not completely 'bashed up'? Just 'soundly beaten', the way Nigerian secondary school students often are, leaving no serious visible scars?

Seun i do not buy that idea of hitting at all,y cant u pass your message across wiv your mouth ehn?do u have to be agressive?we r not animals u know

As for the secondary school thats another issue entirely,i wonder who gives those teachers right to assult kids by flogging the hell out of them in the name of disciplne,dont u think there r other ways things r been done? other than all these agressiveness

reminds me of my high school years in nigeria. hehe... i'll advice anyone who goes to school there to suck up to their teachers like i did. or better still go to a school your mom's best friend teaches at ...

@ seun maybe u should consider the fact that d women who r not likely to tolerate battery from their husbands are also not likely to tell u what they would do if it happens. Do u think the woman that smashed her husband's kneecaps held a conference to discuss whether or not she should get back at her husband; and d exact sort of torture she should mete out to him? She just did it!

so seun dearie, its about action not talk; if a man is waiting for his wife to start threatening him before he stops beating her, he might just wake up one morning wondering why his crown jewels are not in their usual place.