I have been dating my Fiancee for two years now, and in a couple of months from now, we will be hosting our wedding propper.

The problem I have with her which I just noticed recently is that she hates to serve me food. I didnt notice all these habits because we were not staying together. But for the past four months that we have been living together I began to notice this habit.

However, I am a good cook. I do most of the cookings which I believe should have been her primary duty, but just to tell her to take the food from the freezer and warm for us to eat becomes a problem. She will start telling me that she is weak, she is having headache, she wants to go and pee or poo, or that she is not hungry. But the moment I go in to the kitchen and warm the food, you will see her with all smiles coming to eat.

To be fair to her, there are some days she attempts to serve me meal, but then she must ensure that I make the garri while she warms the soup. Or I bring washhand water and drinking water to the table before she serves the food.

She is a very good lady in other areas, but this aspect is killing the love daily. She is always happy that am always doing the cooking which am equally happy too. I have complained for over uncountable times, yet no remedy. She keep saying she will change.

Although I do the cooking, is it too much for her to serve me meals whenever I want to eat? Our wedding is coming up few months from now, and this singular act is making me to give a second thought.

What do I do please...

Seun
Lalasticlacla

Serve your self

You're the one turning yourself to a houseboy.
Just man up and square things up with her. Give her some sound talk.

I think airtel is forked up!


@ your issue.

U started it all, stoping it nw will make her Feel u no longer love her. But hey man, stop it nw, refuse to do those things again and let everything result into misunderstanding then iron it with her proper and every thing will reset

Search yourself deeply, can you cope with this when you eventually marry her ; the cooking and dishing of food. You have started it so prepare your mind to live with it as long as it last.
But wait, what if you have visitors?
But why will a lady hate kitchen?
Òlóbé lo... liking mouth

HeyCorleone:
You're the one turning yourself to a houseboy.

Just man up and square things up with her. Give her some sound talk.

I love cooking and besides am a chef.
But I believe that having helped her to do the cooking she should help me in serving the meal whenever I want to.

I really hate what she is doing.... am just fvcking tired of it.
Lastnight she refused to prepare noodles for me. But she was able to warm her food and eat. So this morning I told her not to be serving me food again, that we should just be living like two pararrell people who met by chance.

With this new sanction, anything intimacy has been disbanded till further notice. Although she is not at ease with this new policy of mine, but I see it as a way to go at the moment. Gradually we might be seeing ourselves from a distance.

Why do you want to create problems where there seems to be none....... can't you serve yourself I still don't know why you men always try to complicate your relationships...... just serve yourself is as simple as ABC...... go ask around most Nigerian men don't like their wives serving them food when they are around cause they know she will be probably tired...... I hope these information helps

If u are looking on quiting the relationship,this is not really a big issue. Talk to her about it and make sure u get a firm and concrete answer cos bringing it here will give ur fiance unprintable names by people who dont really know her or u

biacan:
Why do you want to create problems where there seems to be none....... can't you serve yourself I still don't know why you men always try to complicate your relationships...... just serve yourself is as simple as ABC...... go ask around most Nigerian men don't like their wives serving them food when they are around cause they know she will be probably tired...... I hope these information helps

Dont forget that I do the cooking most times. I also have other manly duties to handle inwhich she cant handle.
Cooking and serving me meal is her primary duty as a Lady(wife).

Evacroft:
If u are looking on quiting the relationship,this is not really a big issue. Talk to her about it and make sure u get a firm and concrete answer cos bringing it here will give ur fiance unprintable names by people who dont really know her or u

The essence of bringing it here is to get a wider view knowing too well that she is a nairalander and will stand a chance to read what the world has to say.

This should not be an issue if only the two parties involve can communicate without sounding controlling.

ABINTUK:

Dont forget that I do the cooking most times. I also have other manly duties to handle inwhich she cant handle.
Cooking and serving me meal is her primary duty as a Lady(wife).

I thought you said you're a chef so you cooking at your own house shouldn't be a problem......cause most chef don't like women cooking for them.......

The last point you made stating that is her primary duty to cook and serve you as a wife where was it written that it's the duty of a woman to cook and serve her husband meals that should be 50/50 so we it gets to her turn she might be tired due to her daily routine so as a husband you need to understand your wife and be a good listener or do you want her to fall down when cooking in the kitchen don't ruin your home with that African mentality it is the cause of many broken homes I hope these helps

biacan:
I thought you said you're a chef so you cooking at your own house shouldn't be a problem......cause most chef don't like women cooking for them.......

The last point you made stating that is her primary duty to cook and serve you as a wife where was it written that it's the duty of a woman to cook and serve her husband meals that should be 50/50 so we it gets to her turn she might be tired due to her daily routine so as a husband you need to understand your wife and be a good listener or do you want her to fall down when cooking in the kitchen don't ruin your home with that African mentality it is the cause of many broken homes I hope these helps

I wish, but not really...

Thanks though...

ABINTUK:

I wish, but not really...

Thanks though...

Just do everything I said above it will give you a sustainable marriage

ABINTUK:

Dont forget that I do the cooking most times. I also have other manly duties to handle inwhich she cant handle.
Cooking and serving me meal is her primary duty as a Lady(wife).

For the sake of knowledge, reference purposes and ability to win arguments in the near future, where exactly was it written that cooking and serving of foods is the woman primary responsibility. The bible said women must labour to bring children to the world while men will labour to till the soil. Ain't seeing where it is written that women should cook and serve. All dem bible women has maidservants/menservants, slaves/ househelp etc...if you need one go ahead and get one.

Bush man!

Serve you food INDEED!
You think you are living in the 1840s?
Please, do yourself a favor and STARVE TO DEATH jor!

Lucky you! She showed you she is tired of your azzzze before the so-called wedding.

You have your chance to get out of the “slave-master” relationship and find you another desperate girl to obey your commands.

Rubbish!

If you see all these signs and still decide to proceed with the marriage, please do not come back seeking for advice.


To get food from the freezer and warm is a problem and you are still not educated to read the signs on the wall?


Lastly, any woman that turns you to a cook in your dating days will make you a full house husband and cook in marriage.

KanwuliaExtra:
Bush man!

Serve you food INDEED!
You think you are living in the 1840s?
Please, do yourself a favor and STARVE TO DEATH jor!

Lucky you! She showed you she is tired of your azzzze before the so-called wedding.

You have your chance to get out of the “slave-master” relationship and find you another desperate girl to obey your commands.

Rubbish!

So Everytime you want to eat as a husband,you go to the pot and dish out your food? While your wife watch Telemondo? Are you sure it's not your picture inside that bottle that was found on the beach

ABINTUK:


I love cooking and besides am a chef.

So you're a Chef. Yummy!
Your woman is one lucky babe.

Cooking is not the problem now, just serving the already cooked meal is

You said she's a good woman. This is not a big deal, it's something you can fix
Don't screw things up, else it's probably gonna take you another 2yrs to find another good woman but then, you still got no guarantee she'd love the kitchen business.

Be wise

When you guys marry, this will be a major problem in your marriage.

DBestDoc:


So you're a Chef. Yummy!
Your woman is one lucky babe.

Cooking is not the problem now, just serving the already cooked meal is

You said she's a good woman. This is not a big deal, it's something you can fix
Don't screw things up, else it's probably gonna take you another 2yrs to find another good woman but then, you still got no guarantee she'd love the kitchen business.

Be wise

So advise him how he can fix it. May I ask you if your in a relationship?

Na wa o.. Then talk to her and hopefully she will realize that it's a big deal to you.

Oyindidi:
When you guys marry, this will be a major problem in your marriage.

When they eventually gets married, it will be war if they don't deal with it now. These are some of the little issues in courtship people tend to over look. Marriage is not friendship, OP your ignoring now because you are not yet married, I bet you you won't ignore it when you finally settle down.

property123:


When they eventually gets married, it will be war if they don't deal with it now. These are some of the little issues in courtship people tend to over look. Marriage is not friendship, OP your ignoring now because you are not yet married, I bet you you won't ignore it when you finally settle down.

The lady is a lazy person, the op is quick to say she's good, defending her. Here I am praying my man could boil water and someone is too lazy to help her man.

Nawa o, this act of equality is eating deep into our women o.
This is simple na,why can't a woman serve her man, she does the cooking, cleans the kitchen and place the food on the table and calls him to come and they eat together. It is a form of bonding and they even gist while eating and tease each other. It is as easy as that.
If you boil water for your partner, wash his clothes once in a while, take care of the house, if possible brush his teeth and cut his nails, they are all ways of showing love, all these won't stop you from being opinionated or outspoken or even dictate to him.

This love is not hard to play, it is easy to tame your partner but we use little act of carelessness to spoil things for ourselves later we will call men jacks, not all of them.

OP get advise from married people only on issues like this. This is an opportunity for both of you to critically examine yourself if you can live together, tell yourselves the truth. That you lived with someone for certain period doesn't mean that your destined to be couples. Free yourself and the lady, let her discover who she is and at the right time you people will eventually get married if its God's will. Majority of the present generation don't understand what marriage is all about.
If your personality will not tolerate her inability to serve you food, tell her, don't accept to live a parallel life, it won't work.

DBestDoc:


So you're a Chef. Yummy!
Your woman is one lucky babe.

Cooking is not the problem now, just serving the already cooked meal is

You said she's a good woman. This is not a big deal, it's something you can fix
Don't screw things up, else it's probably gonna take you another 2yrs to find another good woman but then, you still got no guarantee she'd love the kitchen business.

Be wise

I have spoken with her countless times but she keeps on repeating it. I thought helping her to do the cooking will make her happy. But no, she doesnt even appreciate it yet.

Oyindidi:
The lady is a lazy person, the op is quick to say she's good, defending her. Here I am praying my man could boil water and someone is too lazy to help her man.

Truth must be told, I bet you its not only serving him food. There are other things he won't tell us here. He will bottle it up, next thing after wedding is domestic violence or divorce. If he knows he can't take this why talking about a life time relationship. Both don't understand marriage simple. Next..?

Greatzeus:

So Everytime you want to eat as a husband,you go to the pot and dish out your food? While your wife watch Telemondo? Are you sure it's not your picture inside that bottle that was found on the beach

You are not yet “a husband”!
Till then, COOK AND FEED YOURSELF.
Why are you on NL whining?
Be brave and confront your “imaginary wife-to-be”.
I am sure you will receive the HEAVENLY-SLAP of your life ke.

What a woose!

MrBottle:
For the sake of knowledge, reference purposes and ability to win arguments in the near future, where exactly was it written that cooking and serving of foods is the woman primary responsibility. The bible said women must labour to bring children to the world while men will labour to till the soil. Ain't seeing where it is written that women should cook and serve. All dem bible women has maidservants/menservants, slaves/ househelp etc...if you need one go ahead and get one.

With due respect sir/ma, are you saying the method used by our father's of old which made their marriages last longer is bad compared to your modern ideas which gives us 90% divorce rate. Just want to learn sir/ma?